“Wouldn’t we all feel better if we shared what we have instead of throwing it at each other?” Tebow asks. “Wouldn’t it be—”

Yes, that’s a chili dog that just smacked into Tebow’s forehead. The minute it hits him, the cafeteria cheers and everyone goes back to flinging food.

“Was I really being that annoying?” Tebow asks as he pulls a kidney bean out of his blond hair.

“Never!” Flatso insists loyally just as Zitsy says, “Yeah, dude—totally.”

Tebow looks at me to break the tie. “Not everything is a ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ moment,” I point out.

Some kind of green substance splats against the side of Eggy’s head. “Ew!” she shrieks, and before I know it, she has flung my Tater Tots at the jock table.

Zitsy grabs two squirt bottles of ketchup and squeezes them all over the jock table. One of the Barbies comes after Brainzilla, who tosses a glass of fruit punch in the girl’s face. Even Tebow starts hurling fried tofu squares like ninja throwing stars.

Wow. We’ve been trying to bring the Nations together… and we ended up causing a food fight instead. And the weirdest part is that everyone’s having a blast. It’s like we almost managed to achieve the goal of Operation Happiness… in a twisted, food-fueled, Hunger Games kind of way.

But it’s a start, right?