Chapter 39

THAT’S OUR ZITSY

I just feel like the bad guys are winning,” Zitsy says. “I feel it just eating away at me, the way Drano eats away at a hair clog. I just walk around all day, wondering why someone like Jenna is rich, while Brainzilla has to work her ass off—”

Tears fill his eyes, and Flatso hands him a long strand of toilet paper. Zitsy’s crying so much I’m afraid we might need a boat to get out of this girls’ room.

“Thank you.” Zitsy blows his nose. “And Bloom is mean to everyone, but it’s Kooks who gets sent to a mental hospital. A mental hospital! Are you kidding me?” He looks at Eggy. “And then I think about those guys who called you names—”

“Don’t,” Eggy says, putting up her arms.

“They treated you like you were a piece of garbage! But they’re the garbage!” And Zitsy dissolves into tears.

Hana has her arms wrapped around her shins and her face pressed against her knees. Her back shakes a bit, and I rub my hand over her soft sweater.

“I just don’t know how much more I can stand!” Zitsy wails, and bursts into tears all over again.

“It’s good that you can share your feelings,” Brainzilla tells him.

“Yeah, Zitsy,” Flatso agrees. “I guess that’s why they always say ‘you’re such a girl.’ ”

“That’s why we love you,” I add, but it’s too late—he’s already offended.

“I’m a total guy,” Zitsy insists. “I’m gonna be a plumber, for god’s sake.”

“That’s the other reason we love you,” I tell him. “Everybody needs a good plumber.”