Chapter 41

DEAR OLD MOM

The good thing about having something horrible happen is that you realize that people actually care about you. The bad thing is that having so much care and concern can feel a little overwhelming.

And all the concern at school is making me feel a little bit nutso at home. Having Marjorie around is only adding to the nuttiness factor.

For one thing, she keeps vampire hours: awake from twilight to sunrise, asleep most of the day. For another thing, she’s obsessed with the Home Shopping Network. She never buys anything—she just sits on the couch, hating on everything they bring out.

And to top things off, Morris the Dog makes her sneeze.

“I’m allergic to dander,” she explains.

So I walk Morris, and give him baths, and vacuum the house to get rid of dander. Marjorie takes care of the cooking. Neither one of us is very good at taking out the garbage. We’re managing, but I sometimes feel as if I’m hanging on by my fingernails.

Everyone’s so worried about my progress that I start to worry that I’m not making any. Am I? I did cry in Ms. Kellerman’s office, which can’t be good. And I’ve felt really shaky ever since the fight.…

Am I backsliding? Frontsliding? I never really thought I was crazy to begin with. What if I was? How would I know?

This is the kind of thinking that can turn you crazy, if you aren’t already.

If I were Brainzilla or Eggy, I could ask my mom if she ever felt this way and how she got through it. But I’m not them. I have no idea if my mom ever felt crazy. I only know the most basic stuff about her life.