Chapter Twenty-Seven

Neith

 

Restorers bustle back and forth as I stand at the entrance to the medical wing. The cloying smell of bleach hits my nose and I’m reminded of my time here while Bel was unconscious.

 

Never in a million years would I have believed I’d be back here so soon. Notwithstanding, here I am struggling against the tears.

 

Nobody stops me as I take tentative steps into the room, only stopping a way from Father’s bed. His bushy eyebrows are tame. His expression calm. A white sheet is pulled up to his chest and his head is propped up on pillows.

 

“Thank you for coming so promptly, Arbiter,” a quiet voice says to my left but my gaze doesn’t stray from my subject.

 

“There was an explosion in the Titan’s vicinity and the result is sixty percent of his lower body was damaged. We are replacing body parts as quickly as we can make them in the bioreplicator.” He inhales loudly which forces me to take a measure of the man speaking to me.

 

He’s staring at Father but his features are hard to read. He’s shed his cloak for a white surgical suit covering every part of his body but his amber eyes.

 

“What are you not telling me?” I demand.

 

“His body is rejecting parts and we can’t explain why.”

 

I look back at Father. No one thought can take shape. My mind is a jumbled mess.

 

Eventually, I ask, “What does that mean?”

 

The restorer finally looks me in the eye. There’s a sadness there and the knot in my stomach constricts.

 

“If we can’t figure out how to replace key parts and keep him stable … then he won’t have much longer.”

 

I swallow my dread. Could father die? Not possible. I study him from afar and he’s watching the health staff like a hawk. He doesn’t look like a man on his deathbed.

 

“He looks fine.”

 

“The Titan is on medication to keep him lucid and pain-free, but there’s no guarantee how long he will last.”

 

My knees weaken again but I have the presence of mind to keep standing. “There has to be something … someone who can fix this.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Who do I know to help save Father? I could call Aunty Tari, but she’s no surgeon. Uncle Eustace is a scientific genius, but could he handle this? I shake my head as I realize, even if he could, it would take too long for him to get here from Pernold.

 

Just then I notice Sohr approach. “Get Dr. Evander. Quickly. Inform her of the situation.”

 

She runs off.

 

“Everyone out!” I command. Restorers scurry out of my way to exit the room.

 

Father finally looks at me. “Hello, dear. This is a fine mess.” He tries to chortle but coughs instead. “You did warn me to leave things to the professionals.”

 

I sit on the bed’s edge and take his hand. He doesn’t appear injured. His head, neck, shoulders, and arms look perfect, but I know that means nothing.

 

“Neith, I need you to know, no matter what happens, I love you.” His golden irises become intense. “I’m sorry I never said it enough.”

 

“You can make it up to me once you’re out of here.” I smile.

 

Just then the restorer returns. “A moment, please?”

 

When we get to the hallway, I notice his eyes dart everywhere. He’d rather look anywhere but me.

 

“I … I regret to inform you we are unable to find a solution to extend the Titan’s life.” The man lets out a defeated sigh, “His body functions will decline soon.”

 

His words wash over me leaving me frozen.

 

“I need more time. He can’t die.”

 

Tears well in my eyes and I wipe them away in an effort to not lose face, but it’s too late.

 

Pull yourself together.

 

I push my emotions aside and walk back into the room. Father’s eyes brighten but soon dim as he says, “I take it things don’t look too good for me?”

 

I gulp back my sadness, aiming for courage but my voice comes out in a helpless falsetto when I say, “There’s always hope.”

 

He smiles at me and says, “Such an attitude will keep you standing when others fall.”

 

I grab his hand as he shutters his eyes. “Father?” My heart hammers in her chest.

 

He opens one eye. “Come closer, I’m suddenly not feeling too great.”

 

I lean in and place my head on his chest. The thrum of his pulse is faint and it serves to ratchet up my fear.

 

“Don’t allow Dren Kriel to delay the Phalanx matter any longer or he’ll use that time to convince some of our supporters against you.”

 

Angling my head toward his face, I say, “I can handle that fool, Father. Save your strength.”

 

A watery thin smile ghosts his lips. “Also, do everything in your power to find Cyra. The longer it takes the more time Dren has to argue you are inefficient and call for your replacement. If that happens…”

 

“Our nome could fall,” I mutter. The reality of the warning sinking in.

 

If I fail to bring Mehrdad’s father to justice and don’t get the Phalanx legalized, both issues become tools for our rivals to strike.

 

Father nods weakly. “Exactly. You … you cannot let that happen, Neith. Do you understand me?”

 

“Yes, Father.”

 

“Good.” He takes in a long breath and shuts his eyes for a second. “I need to confess a few things to you.”

 

“The only thing you need to do is rest. Let the restorers do their job.”

 

“No, I don’t have a lot of time, but there’s so much you need to know.” He pauses to take some deep breaths. “I thought I had more time.”

 

And I thought I had more time. I remember the cold claws of fear I felt in my chest when I thought he might be dead during Mehrdad’s attack. Sitting with him here, listening to him say he has no time, my palms moisten. I bury my head in his chest as fresh tears loosen from my lids. His heart beat is weak, but it’s still there.

 

“I’m sorry, Neith,” he says after a moment.

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Father. This isn’t your fault.” I look at him.

 

He struggles to shake his head, frowning at the effort. “No, listen to me. I ordered the Phalanx to kill Invier. I didn’t tell Landen Sohr, but …”

 

A rattling cough makes his body tremble as I stare slack-jawed.

 

“What?” I jerk upright. Did I just hear him say he ordered someone to kill Invier?

 

“He slipped through my fingers in Hesperia and in Tangor—”

 

“Why would you … You agreed to our union.” I grab onto his bed’s sheet and scrunch it into my balled fist.

 

He’s got to be delirious.

 

“He would be a burden. A source of weakness …” The words fall away as he shuts his eyes again.

 

No. It’s the medication. The painkillers. Or maybe I’m hearing things because I’m in a stressful situation. I rise to my feet, stunned.

 

“Neith?” His tone is soft and I look at him, scared to see or hear any more than I can handle. “Come.”

 

Did he want Invier dead?

 

My feet return me to the bed but there’s a bit more space between us now. I stare at the white bedsheet. Please, let this be medication-fueled delirium.

 

“I’m sorry. Do you hear me?” I feel his gaze and meet it. The cold feeling no longer clutches my stomach. My whole body tenses. He’s looking in my general direction but his eyes are unfocused. “Goran and those rebels had nothing to do with the missiles …”

 

“Stop talking. You don’t know what you’re saying.” My words do little to convince me.

 

“You need to listen. I’m the one—”

 

Not thinking, my hands cover my ears. “No. No. No,” I stutter.

 

He glances past me and frowns slightly. “I had to do something to push the council in our direction.”

 

I leap off the bed. “I almost died!” My body quavers as I glare down at him.

 

“The Phalanx which fired the missiles would never have hit you. It knew to have them explode away from the airship.”

 

My eyes threaten to jump out of their sockets. “What if the unit had made a mistake? You and I know some of them are malfunctioning.” A realization comes to mind. “The Sirous weren’t meant to die, were they?” My hands cover my face. This can’t be real.

 

“I know. I probably shouldn’t have gone so far.”

 

His words ricochet in my brain. Those are words I’ve said to Bel many times. I got that from him? I feel the energy drain from me and I sag onto the bed’s edge.

 

“You did all of it for nothing because we still can’t get the Phalanx legalized—”

 

“Get rid of anyone who witnessed the malfunction at Keshim.”

 

“Malfunction?” I look at him. “That’s what’s important to you? A malfunction?”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“How can I believe you when you say that? My whole life you were cold and then one day, you said you were that way because you were trying to prepare me to rule. Am I to believe the missile attack and your attempts to kill Invier were your way of preparing me to be a Titane, as well?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I thought I already proved I could do it when I killed Adela to protect your secrets!”

 

All this time, I thought I had his respect. He was playing me for a fool! He brought me in close so I wouldn’t notice what he was really doing.”

 

He closes his eyes and takes several drawn-out breaths. “Have I told you how much you look just like your mother? You have her strength and her cunning. I was always the proverbial bull in the china shop, while she danced daintily across thin glass only to own everyone and everything.”

 

I start to sob. My own father almost killed me and if not for him being on death’s door, he probably would never have told me of his deceit and lies.

 

“Don’t be afraid, dear.” His face is calm.

 

He looks past me and his eyes light up in a smile. “Ara.”

 

I look behind me and nobody else is in the room. When I look back at him, he’s still staring but this time, he doesn’t blink and I know he’s gone. The only thing I can do is lower my head into my hands and sob.

 

When I take a second to inhale, the blue walls of the room seem to be squeezing me in. Although I’ve been feeling lonely over the last few days, I realize now, I am really all alone in this world.

 

No mother. No father. No Master Portan. No Invier. And, no best friend as my last conversation with Bel didn’t end well and I haven’t heard from her since.

 

Tears fall anew and I let them.

 

When they begin to subside, a new realization settles into place. Father called my mother’s name in his final moments. I don’t remember him ever saying her name aloud and understand how doing so was too much for him to bear. At least there might be one good thing out of all this—he might be with her now.

 

Be strong. I tell myself as I traverse the ivory floor, stepping away from his body.

 

I wipe my face and straighten before stepping out into the hallway.