Chapter Twenty-Nine

Neith

 

There once was a time when I thought I knew what true sadness was. How stupid of me to not anticipate this moment. This moment when fear turns to acid on my tongue, rapidly burning its way to my heart, where it can travel through my blood vessels to kill the rest of my body.

 

This feels so much worse than everything else that came before it. Not only is Father dead, but I know the rekindled relationship I thought we were developing was nothing more than camouflage to hide his deceit.

 

Now, I sit in Father’s office. I don’t know why I haven’t changed the skin on his glass walls. It’s a field of wheat undulating under the pressure of a soft breeze. It’s not one I’ve seen before and I wouldn’t have picked it, but clearly something about it worked for Father so I leave it on. Even though the betrayal I feel from last night continues to burn and I don’t look at the wall opposite me. It has a picture of him and my mother. Two complete strangers.

 

Sitting across from Father’s desk are Aunty Tari and Uncle Eustace. Although I am yet to inform the council or the other nomes of his passing, I’ve told the Mezans the news. Not for sentimental reasons, however.

 

My chest burns at the memory of the revelations I received at Father’s deathbed. After all the lies he told, did he ever speak a word of truth to me? Did I know him? When he lay there on those white sheets, did he mean it when he said he loved me? I study at my fingernails—painted black to match my clothing. Depending on how the light hits them, my family’s insignia pops up on the dark canvas.

 

How can I mourn a man I now realize was a stranger?

 

Aunty Tari cries into her husband’s chest. She became hysterical when I commed her with the news. That was a few hours ago and they’ve come with all their children—even Olia, who has always ignored me. One person is missing though.

 

My best friend.

 

I’ve made no mention of her absence but I’m disappointed Bel didn’t come. No matter how angry she is with me, or with … Father, we’re still family and she should be here.

 

“So sorry, sweetheart,” Aunty Tari murmurs, pulling away from her husband’s chest. “I just can’t believe Nabo is …” Her voice trails and she shudders.

 

“Neith.” Uncle Eustace’s normal bass is gone and he chokes on his emotions. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” He pauses to rub his wife’s hand. “Have you mentioned this to the other nomes yet?”

 

“No. Not yet.”

 

He nods, bobbing his head. “Good. Take your time.”

 

I’ve decided to keep the news quiet for now. While it is customary to announce such incidents immediately, I have no interest in dealing with what would surely follow—Reffour Estate would be inundated with sympathizers. It would be a deluge that would never stop. I’ve been doing it, myself, over the last few weeks and I’m not willing to host visitors. I have work to do.

 

Keeping the news to ourselves has allowed Sohr to round up key individuals from the Lower Houses and the Lesser Lands without bringing unwanted attention.

 

As if she knows I was thinking about her, Sohr steps into the office.

 

“Please tell me what happened.” Aunty Tari mumbles between her tears.

 

Sohr begins an account of what we now understand happened. According to the report generated from the soldiers who made it out of Keshim alive, Father had Goran in his sights just as an unexpected fighting force appeared. This new group outflanked Father’s soldiers right before there was an explosion close by which threw Father to the ground. Two of our Phalanx units picked him up and were taking him to safety when one of them stopped mid-stride and prevented the other one from continuing to the airship. There was a tussle and then a second device went off. Father returned to Ekebati with less than a fraction of the forces he left with. The rest of that night is imprinted on my mind forever.

 

“Arbiter?” Sohr says and my eyes slide to her face.

 

She served my father for over twenty years and I have known her my whole life. This is the second time I have seen her cry. The first being last night.

 

“I am to blame for the Titan’s loss. I should have forced him to stay here. Had I done so, he would …” Her anger lights a flame which burns in her dark eyes. “I accept whatever punishment you deem fit for my failure and relinquish my position as Security Chief immed—”

 

“I will hear no more of this.” I knock on the surface of Father’s desk and the sharp sound brings some focus to her eyes. “You will continue with your job as before, am I understood?”

 

“Yes, Titane.”

 

Titane. I’ve known I will bear the title someday but not at seventeen and not alone. I always assumed Father would simply relinquish his position but be around to guide me in my duties. That time has come. I must make the right choices now, without the guidance of Father or Master Portan. Plus, it appears I won’t have Bel to rely on if her absence today is any indication.

 

Aunty Tari lifts her head, displaying puffy eyes and a red nose. “Well at least you’ve had Bel with you during this painful time,” she says to me. “I know she’s mad at me, is that why she’s not here? She stormed out on me when last I saw her. Did she tell you what happened?”

 

Sohr and I share a glance, clearly thinking the same thing—Bel’s family thinks she’s been with me?

 

“Sohr, why don’t you come back later.” She walks out without a sound.

 

Turning to my guests, I place my elbows on the desk and lean in. “No, she didn’t share. What happened?”

 

“I don’t know what’s going on with Bel but she’s angry at everyone and everything.” She sniffs.

 

“I had no idea, Aunty Tari.” My lie rolls off my lips like molasses.

 

“Can you please talk to her? Tell her I’m sorry and I love her? Can she comm me?”

 

“I’ll do my best, Aunty Tari.” I keep my tone warm so as not to betray the growing chill building in me. If Bel isn’t with her family, where is she?

 

“Uncle Eustace?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Is there any way we can tap into your connections in the Lesser Lands? What with the charity work your nome has conducted, surely, you have contacts who could help us learn what the rebels are up to?”

 

He grimaces. “I wish we could help, dear, but we stopped the project six or seven months ago. Still, I’ll speak with the restorers who spent the most time there. Maybe they’ll have ideas on who you can contact.”

 

The icy feeling spreads, like cracks racing across a frozen surface. If the Mezan’s work in the Lesser Lands has been over for so long, where exactly was Bel whenever she claimed she was doing charity work? She told me she couldn’t accompany Father and me to Titane Yetun’s recent birthday party because she had a commitment. I remember the night clearly and the argument we had in my closet. She was dressed in her gray cloak.

 

An idea pops into my head. Acri. She’s been spending time with Acri but didn’t want to tell her mother or me. Is she with him right now? I grind my teeth only stopping because I hear Portan tsking in my head. He always warned teeth grinding would change the structure of my face over time. Still, knowing Acri is more important to Bel than me is more than I can handle right now.

 

Uncle must notice the change in my disposition because he pats his wife’s hand one more time and stands, pulling her up. “Let’s leave Neith be.”

 

We all exchange hugs and Aunty Tari tells me, “I love you and you can depend on us anytime.”

 

Is Bel included in that sentiment?

 

As the door clicks shut behind them, I think about what I just learned. I thought Bel was only upset with me, but she’s mad at her mother as well. I think it’s time to have another frank discussion with her. Being in love is not an excuse to ignore the people in her life. I also need to find out why she felt so compelled to lie to all of us. Her family thinks she’s been with me, while I’ve been under the impression she been doing charity work in the Lesser Land. Why the subterfuge? All so I wouldn’t know about herself and Acri?

 

And if her charity work ended so long ago, why have me think she was working with her Lesser Land contacts to find Invier? The more questions I have, the more my blood boils. I would have thought we were close enough for some measure of honesty between us.

 

The minute the thought of honesty enters my head, I recall Father’s deception. If he could do that to me, why wouldn’t Bel lie to me?

 

The black double doors slide open. Sohr’s entrance is welcome. If I let myself dwell on the troublesome thoughts trapped in the cage of my mind, I’ll never get anything done.

 

I ask her, “Any updates on your investigation of Lower House families?”

 

“I have someone here you should speak to, Titane. I am certain he has ties to the group.”

 

She exits and I turn off the wall skin when a message pops up on the table from Dr. Evander. Father was dead by the time she arrived last night. And when I learned her malfunctioning units played a role in his death, I grabbed her in rage. It was not my finest moment. She promised she was close to a solution for the Phalanx and claimed the problem would be gone by this morning. This message had better be her confirmation or else she’ll join the many people in my orbit who have died recently.

 

Sohr drags in a short, whimpering man, covered in violet bruises. His stiff hair doesn’t move as he shuffles in, eyes on the electronic bolt around his wrist. He flops to his knees when Sohr lets him go.

 

While I have my issues with Father, I do not question the logic of his points on Titan Kriel. He’s proven he will do what he can to prevent my success. Besides, Father’s failure to capture Goran at Keshim can be interpreted as a failure for me as Arbiter. I don’t have the luxury of time and if this man has any ties to Minim, we will find out everything he knows.

 

“This is Lord Van Thach, my Titane. He’s a merchant from—”

 

“What do you know about the rebels?” I say glaring at the little man. Now is not the time for wasted words or actions.

 

“I have no idea about them.” He puts his bolted hands out before him, imploring. “Is that why I was snatched from my home?”

 

I skirt the table’s edge and hunch down to look him in the eye. The strong smell of urea wafts off him. It’s revolting but I keep my spine straight.

 

“Do you have a family, Lord Van Thach?”

 

He blinks rapidly and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “Yes … I do.” His voice quivers and I notice dimples in his cheeks.

 

“I lost my father yesterday. He was the only family member I had. Can you imagine what it’s like?” Returning to Father’s seat, I stand behind it, resting my hands on its back. “If I could, I would move the entire universe to save my loved ones from death. Does that make any sense to you?” Not true, but for my purpose, the lie will suffice.

 

His eyes are glued to the floor. “Yes,” he says in a pained whisper.

 

“Good, I’m glad.” I nod at Sohr and she goes to the door. She knows what to do next. “That means you won’t have trouble understanding what’s about to happen.”

 

Lines form on his forehead as he frowns. He angles his head to the door when it slides open and though I no longer see his face, I notice the slump in his shoulders and hear him whimper.

 

“No, no. Please. Please!” Van Thach’s whimpering becomes pleas. “I’ll tell you what you want to know. Spare them. Please. I beg you!”

 

His eyes move furtively from me to the four women who are dragged in by four Nome Reffour soldiers. His family. The woman I presume to be his wife is older than the remaining three and she tries to corral them to herself. A soldier snatches her by her hair and she yelps. It twists my stomach but I keep my face neutral. While I can’t see my expression, I know it’s the same look Father would give me when he no longer wanted to have a conversation. A look of disinterest.

 

With a flick of my wrist, a soldier puts a knife to one daughter’s neck. Another holds a gun to a different daughter’s head and I’m awash in memories of me standing in this room watching Mehrdad’s guns trained on the people I love.

 

The shouts from Lord Van Thach and the women return me to the present. Now is not the time for emotional distractions, Neith.

 

The mother faints, tumbling to the floor with a thunk. The girls scream and their father stretches for his wife, forgetting the bolt around his wrists. His body goes still as he seizes for several seconds then he trembles terribly, his eyes rolling back into his head.

 

Once again, my stomach twists. I ignore the sensation. These people aren’t innocent. They have collaborated with terrorists and can be treated as such.

 

His spasms become less aggressive and he sets his gaze on me.

 

“Karax is in Koroda,” he says between gulps of air. “You can find him there. His lieutenants, everyone you need is there. Please, leave my family alone.”

 

Success. “Karax is the leader of the rebels? How many of them are there?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

There’s no need for me to signal to the soldiers. The one with the knife digs it into the daughter’s neck and she shrieks, “Tell them what they want to know, Papa.”

 

He jerks his head in her direction, watching as blood drizzles down her neck. Angling his head toward me, he has a surprised look and probably never assumed his time here would be this dangerous. There’s also a slight hint of resistance and maybe even hate in his eye.

 

“The choice is yours,” I say, coolly. “You have a big enough family and I have enough time.” The nice scioness is gone. In her place stands a Titane willing to go much further than anyone expect.

 

One of his daughter’s screams. It’s blood-curdling, gut-wrenching sound. My gaze doesn't stray from the man on the floor.

 

He begs between wrenching sobs mirroring those of his daughters. “Please, please, please. They know nothing about my affairs. They are ignorant of it all.”

 

“It doesn’t make them innocent, Lord Van Thach.” I stare deep into his violet eyes. “Now tell me everything about this Karax.”