Chapter Thirty-Two

Invier

 

The next few days are spent in solitude in my room. I don’t want to see or talk to anyone. I’d also prefer not to hear anyone. Even the sound of people running through the hallway unnerves me.

 

During the day, I struggle to erase the image of Karax and Titan Cyra clinking their glasses together, laughing heartily in the wake of their shrewdness.

 

In my frustration, I have punched into the walls a few times. The evidence stares back at me—mournful holes in an otherwise serene blue surface. Thankfully, drywall yields to my fists. Otherwise, broken bones would have sent me searching for medical attention. My knuckles have bruises which are healing and I try my best not to rip off the scabs whenever I get angry again.

 

During the night, Neith populates my dreams, for some reason. Once I slip into sleep, she’s there, smiling up at me. Her image soon morphs into one of Karax laughing down at me. As his shoulders bob, the sound of his cackling morphs into screams. The image changes to the Tangor complex exploding, glass spreading everywhere. My nose fills with sediment and the screams echo until they become a sound too loud for me to stand. I wake up drenched in sweat.

 

Like clockwork, Torin, Bel, and Kande knock on my door each day. Torin comes in the mornings. Bel at lunchtime and Kande at dinner. Bel and Kande plead for me to come out of my room while Torin grunts about men not hiding like babies in their rooms. The first time he said those words I almost opened the door, just for the satisfaction of punching him in the face. I thought better of it because even if I manage to hit him, his reaction would be swift and more painful a blow than I could ever deliver.

 

Even though I know he’s correct, I’m too angry and embarrassed to face the world. He even mentioned that, like me, he feels deceived and used like a pawn. There was anger in his voice when he expressed his frustrations about the rebels through my room’s timber door. Sadly, we both have no idea of how to remedy the situation in the short term. We are both stained by our blind faith in Karax and his rebellion as the solution to our problems.

 

Each of my visitors leaves my meal on a tray outside my door. When I get hungry enough, I retrieve the tray, eat and then place it outside. I don’t care how elitist it seems, I just can’t face anyone right now.

 

How did I let myself get to this place, again? Neith lied to me continuously which resulted in me going on the run from her father. I left everything I knew behind and have been trying to get back ever since.

 

Clearly, I didn’t learn my lesson because I allowed another person to deceive me. Karax sold me tales of improving the lives of Lesser Landers. I thought as an emissary for Minim, I could return to the nomes with more power than the day I left. I’d have Minim’s protection and serve as its voice. Deep inside, I was looking forward to the opportunity to challenge the very system that kept me from what I wanted—Neith. I was also looking forward to standing before her father and watching him have to respect me. For those reasons. I swallowed every drop of Karax’s chicanery and now, the blood of a hundred thousand people stains my hands.

 

Why am I so gullible?

 

I heave myself off the bed and look out the window at the night sky. I should be asleep but don’t want to experience my recurring nightmare.

 

Neith creeps into my thoughts again. As much as I’m upset with her, a part of me yearns to be with her. I wish I could talk to her about my current situation. Even though she’s the reason I’m in this mess, there was a point in time when she would have been the one person I would elect to discuss my difficulties with.

 

I now know her father gave her his blessing for us to be together. Bel told me when dropping off my meal today and the news was bittersweet. After all that’s happened, I can’t imagine her ever taking me back.

 

Would you?

 

Now that Bel’s told me Neith sent me away so she could guarantee my safety, I would definitely say yes. I would take her back. However, I think too much has happened to make a happy reunion possible. I’ve become a person she wouldn’t recognize. Someone who could so easily be used to kill so many. A murderer.

 

Regrets slash through my mind and I squeeze my eyes to get rid of them but it doesn’t work. So, I focus on the view before me. Koroda is quiet, though the bark of a dog floats up into the air. From up here, the world is at peace. If only it was the case for me.

 

On the sea’s surface, the moon is a dancing silver orb. Even the Greenspace looks less intimidating right now, despite learning from the Milkman that it’s home to a cemetery.

 

Nothing looks as bad as it truly is when you have so much blood on your hands, I guess.

 

Footsteps in the hallway jolts my gaze from Koroda’s landscape. There’s a weak knock at the door and I stare at it. Who would be here at this time?

 

“Invier?” A child’s voice says, and my curiosity is piqued.

 

I inch closer to the door, creeping so as not to alert my visitor of my approach.

 

“Invier?” The voice whispers against the door. “It’s Aster.”

Yanking open the door, there he is. Eyes radiant despite the hallway’s dim light. He shimmies past me into the room and scampers onto my bed.

 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

 

He shrugs and it’s comical. His little shoulders rise too high and pull a smile to my lips. My first in days and it feels strange on my face. “I like running around the dorm when it's quiet. I get to play without adults telling me to stop.”

 

I sit beside him.

 

“Where have you been?” He looks up at me.

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around, Aster. The last few days have been … tough.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m a good listener and your secret is safe with me, yeah.”

 

I laugh. The sound is strange to my ears but it feels good. He’s so sincere but I wouldn’t dare lay my burdens on his young shoulders. “I appreciate you wanting to help, but, these are big boy problems.”

 

“Maybe I could help. Tell me.”

 

With a smile, I look out the window and say, “The last few weeks have taught me some tough lessons.”

 

“So you’ve been hiding from your lessons in here?”

 

“I wasn’t hiding. I just needed some time to myself.” I bark the words out, feeling defensive.

 

“Hmm.” Aster flops backward onto the bed. “Yeah, some lessons you never want to learn.” He sits back up, eyes wide. “Miss Kande keeps telling me I shouldn’t tell girls they’re pretty but I think they are and I’m just telling the truth.” He shakes his head, eyes scrunching in confusion. “Why is it a bad thing to say something nice when it’s true? But no,”—he rolls his eyes—“it makes girls uncomfortable.” He shrugs again. “I don’t get it.”

 

I laugh for the second time in seconds, my cloud lifting. How I wish I had Aster’s problems.

 

“I’ve decided to make the best of things. I’m not going to let it get me down.” His brows furrow in determination.

 

His earnest spirit makes me feel … embarrassed. “That’s the right attitude,” I mumble, wondering why I can’t adopt it.

 

We sit there on the bed, staring out the window. Me, with my worries foremost on my mind. Him, likely with thoughts of all the girls, and women, he loves.

 

Aster lets out a small yawn and rubs his eyes.

 

“Okay, it’s time for you to go to bed. Come on, I’ll take you back to the kid’s room.” I pick him up and listen as he tells me about multiple girls he likes. He confesses that he thinks Ms. Eden, in the kitchen, is prettier when she isn’t wearing a hairnet. By the time I get him to the kid’s room, he’s snoring softly on my shoulder.

 

With my free hand, I open the door and it creaks but none of the children in the room stir. A quick scan reveals one empty cot and I lower Aster into it, covering him with a threadbare sheet.

 

The children in here are those without family and Aster, despite his circumstances, remains happy and kind. Enough to come check on me. If a little boy can be so well-adjusted, I can, at least, find a way to transform this sad incident into something positive.

 

I yawn and say out loud for the empty hallway to hear, “I’ll figure things out in the morning.”

 

***

 

A loud thump stirs me from sleep. Somewhere in my mind, I hope it’s not yet morning so I don’t have to race to my training session It’s not morning yet. With that, I snuggle under my thin sheet and return to a deep slumber.

 

Thud.

 

There goes that sound again and my mind struggles to become alert. It’s not until the fifth thump that I hear my name being yelled as well as the sound of commotion coming from everywhere.

 

My steps are arduous as I lumber to the door, rubbing sleep from my lids. With his small fist in the air, Aster is about to strike the door again but my opening it causes him to stumble into me.

 

When he rights himself, he grabs onto my legs and sobs, “I thought you left me!” The poor boy trembles and I kneel to look him in the eyes.

 

People scurry past my door. Many with their meager belongings in their hands.

 

I look at the backs of those filing down the stairs to my right. “Where is everyone going?”

 

“To the emergency uh…” He pauses, eyes rolling up and causing his forehead to crease. “I can’t remember the word.”

 

“Fine. Why are they going there?”

 

The sound of a nearby explosion tells me all I need to know. Poor Aster runs into my room and dives under my bed. Who could be dropping bombs? I flash back to my last night in Ekebati and being in the Participants Building when it crumbled to dust. I was lucky then, but might not be as lucky today if I don’t get out of here.

 

“Aster? If Koroda is under attack, hiding there won’t help.” I put my feet into the boots resting by my bed. “Come out!”

 

His eyes dart from side to side.

 

“Good, you’re here. We’ve got to go.”

 

Torin stands, breathless, at my door.

 

Bel appears at his shoulder and sighs in relief. “Oh, I was so worried you’d left already. Come on let’s get out of here.” Her face is flushed from running. “My ship is on the other side of the Savannah in the terminal.”

 

“Can someone, please, tell me what’s going on? I’ve got Aster terrified under my bed and—”

 

“He can come too,” Torin says, he’s crossed the room to open my window and the sounds of people screaming, bombs going off and airships flying by fills the small space.

 

“Oh,” I mutter, walking over to join him by the window. I see lights moving up the mountain and ask, “What are people doing over there on Mount Alcindor?” I point in their direction.

 

“It’s the safety location in case of an emergency,” Torin explains. “These low-flying airships, though…” His brows crumple. “I’m not sure if going there is a smart idea.”

 

“Who’s attacking?” I ask.

 

“The airships have Nome Reffour’s symbol on them,” he says and a rumbling sound accompanies the building beginning to vibrate. “We don’t have much time, the soldiers must be in the building, already.”

 

“Soldiers? They’re shooting at people?” I ask, not believing my ears.

 

“It’s what soldiers do,” Torin mutters dryly.

 

“Neith is on the warpath and nowhere on this island is going to be safe. We need to get out of here,” Bel says, dread flooding her expression.

 

The sound of guns makes my stomach lurch. Those bullets sound very close.

 

Bel has coaxed Aster out from under the bed and is holding him tight when Torin and I join her at the door.

 

The gunfire gets louder.

 

“We need to run, guys.” Torin picks up Aster and cradles his head into his chest as he takes off.

 

Bel and I follow as fast as we can.