Helen looked up at the knock on her open office door.
Regina stood hovering in the portal, her hands twisted in her skirt. Her hair was still covered by a kerchief, telling Helen that she’d come straight from work.
“Hello, love,” Helen said, happy to see her lover. Her love. Her heart thumped. Somewhere along the way, she’d fallen in love with this amazing woman. Now she could not imagine a future without Regina. Then her stomach growled, overriding her heart and awakening her to the fact that she’d missed the evening meal again.
Regina remained silent, half in and half out of the room.
“Come in, come in.” Helen skirted the desk to take Regina’s hand. Tugging her inside, she closed the office door before leaning up to plant a welcoming kiss on her lips. “What a lovely surprise.”
“Is it?”
Helen cocked her head, surprised at the gruff question.
“Never mind me.” Regina shook her head and waved a hand. “Cecilia told me I was grumpy this afternoon.”
“Why?”
“I missed you.” Regina lowered her gaze with the admission, and Helen swore the stablemistress’s cheeks colored in embarrassment.
“Well, you have me now, and I am ever so thankful to be had. My head hurts from staring at paperwork for too many hours. Have you eaten?”
Regina shook her head.
“’Tis too late to request a private supper, but I had hoped to grab food and come see you. So let us raid the kitchen. We can nibble in either your room or mine.”
Regina nodded.
“Right, then. You are quieter than normal tonight. We shall get sustenance, after which I shall pester you to talk to me. I’d like to help if I am able.”
After foraging for bread and cheese, they aimed for the closer room—Helen’s. She hastily cleared the small table of papers, poured the wine, and laid out their pickings.
She touched Regina’s hand as the other woman reached for the half loaf of bread. “What is amiss, love?”
Regina shook her head, shrugged, then frowned.
“All that then?” Helen teased her.
With a half-smile, Regina admitted, “I didn’t like missing you.”
Helen’s heart panged again. “If ’tis any consolation, I missed you too, you know.”
“It is, actually. Not because misery loves company, but I wondered…”
“Out with it. I can only allay your concerns if I know what they are.”
“I understand your priority is the school, and you worry about the rules. We talked about you needing a few examples of why this was worth the risk, and I suppose my fears got the best of me. I worried whether you felt you’d sampled enough.” One of her shoulders hitched up as she half-stated, half-asked the last part.
“Oh, Regina, love. No. I am sorry. I don’t mean to neglect you—”
Regina shook her head adamantly.
“—or even spend less time together. ’Tis just the new program and more staff and more students mean more work. I’ve deferred more than ever to Grace, but if I run her off by overburdening her, we’ll be in even more dire straits. I lose sleep at night worrying about what I haven’t gotten to yet.”
“I know. I shall likely request two more additions to the stables—horses, not people—in the next quarterly review, given the increase in humans. I was not placing blame. My imagination simply got the better of me. ’Tis apparently dangerous to leave me alone too long. I come up with all sorts of daft ideas.”
Helen laughed at her attempt to lighten the mood.
“Thank you for coming to find me. Clearly, we both needed this time more than we realized. Those daytime rides were so helpful to my sanity. I’d return with much-improved focus for the rest of the day. I am frustrated ’tis been so difficult to break away for them.”
Regina gave a mock gasp as though affronted, placing her fingertips on her chest. “You’re saying the night-time rides aren’t helpful? I must work on my technique.”
“Ha!” Helen gave a shout of shocked laughter. “They most certainly distract from my focus on work but are helpful to other things than my sanity. You are helpful to my well-being.”
“Hmm. I think I needed to hear that. Thank you, Helen.” Regina leaned across the table to claim her lips in a gentle swipe, tasting of wine and smelling faintly of hay.
Helen sighed through a smile as Regina broke off the kiss. She wanted to shout her love to Regina, but she needed to spend time thinking about how they could progress. Time she wasn’t willing to take away from the joy of their new bond.
“Tell me the best and the worst of your tasks. There must be some parts you like,” Regina asked.
Helen pursed her lips. “I still love the aspects that were needed from the beginning. The strategizing. New students to be recruited carefully. Instructors who share our beliefs and who are experts in their field must be found. I enjoy vetting sponsors and ensuring they will maintain our confidentiality before approaching them about prospective students. And designing new programs is a delight, although that is generally a group effort.”
“What does that leave?” Regina asked, agog.
“Far too much! We have a small team of accountants for incoming and outgoing funds, but I still must keep an eye on the books. And one cannot simply design a program and hand it over. There is space to be found, the appropriate props—” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the newest building, Cheltenham Hall with various businesses and storefronts modeled inside for their mercantile program. “—and detailed curricula to create. Students’ grades are reviewed and communicated tactfully to their sponsors, and sponsor visits must be coordinated and supervised.”
“Ah.” Regina sat back. “You do not like the details, the minutiae.”
Helen stared. “I never realized it, but you are right. ’Tis the repetitious work and the tasks to implement the bigger decisions that bore me. I want to move on to the next big thing.”
Regina nodded.
“How very aristocratic of me.” Helen waved a hand. “I have said it is so. Now make it so.”
They both laughed.
Regina sobered. “That is not it, from what I see. Some people can see the larger swaths of strategy, their long-term implications, their selling points. Others easily identify the steps needed to implement those and delight in checking each step off a list. ’Tis about finding the right people for the right tasks. Or in this case, perhaps giving each of the roles to people who enjoy them.”
“Right now, we do not have the people. And I cannot seem to find the time to search for and hire them. ’Tis a never-ending circle of frustration.”
“I wish I could help. The best I can offer is to stop by at lunchtime if I haven’t heard from you and try to pull you away for one of those focus-enhancing rides.”
“How about one of those focus-distracting rides right now, love?” Helen grinned as she stood and tugged Regina up, stepping into her and wrapping her hands around the taller woman to tangle in her hair.
Two mornings later, Regina was ecstatic to find Helen in the stables dressed to ride, although the headmistress stipulated that it needed to be short. After their sojourn, Regina took the reins from Helen as she dismounted, resisting the urge to step closer and allow that lush bottom to slide down her front. Tossing the leather ribbons over the horses’ heads, she led their mounts to the stables, passing them to a hand to be rubbed down.
Turning back to thank Helen for the ride, she found the lush bottom already retreating from sight up the path to the main school building.
Ah, well. At least the other night’s conversation helped Regina understand the stress Helen was under. Regina recalled that it had also resulted in her being under something else, and smirked. She lingered and enjoyed the view for a moment.
Turning, she saw Cecilia approaching, her gaze flicking between Regina and Helen’s retreating form.
“How was your ride, Mistress?”
“Excellent. The weather has held this sennight, and the horses love it.”
“And you?”
“I love it, too.”
“Hmm.”
Regina frowned, wondering if they were still talking about the weather. Best to change the subject. “How are classes?”
“I always enjoy them, but I am struggling with the current topic. We are talking about how to ask for things you like.”
Regina’s brows rose. She knew much of the topics in the advanced course from bolder students in the past so she understood the reference, but she was surprised at the girl’s choice of topic. Cecilia had not discussed any of the classes on intimacy with her to date. “How so?”
“I cannot imagine, if someone is touching me in a private area”—the girl blushed, despite her training to date—“redirecting them. It seems the height of rudeness.”
“Hmm.” Regina was thankful for her conversations with earlier students. She was no instructor, but she had ways to help Cecilia clarify her understanding.
“What if a man seemed interested in a friend of yours but had not yet asked her to dance? Would you perhaps hint to him that she enjoyed the waltz?”
“Probably. It depends on the man. I wouldn’t want anyone to step on her toes.”
“So, you’d request a change in behavior on behalf of a friend?”
“I suppose. Yes.”
“Now, I know you’ve learned some of this in earlier classes. What if you were giving someone pleasure in an intimate setting, and if you changed one little thing, their pleasure would be much more intense? ’Tis not to say they aren’t enjoying your, um, attentions. I am simply saying if you pinched just so, or flicked your tongue a different way, their eyes would roll back.”
Cecilia was blushing, but her hand across her mouth could not hide her grin. Nodding, she replied, “I see your point. I would certainly want them to tell me. Ah, for someone’s eyes to roll back for me. Or mine for them. I can only hope I am so lucky when I leave here.”
Regina hoped that at the courtesan auction in London, the girl would be chosen by someone who cared about her pleasure as much as his own. Everyone deserved that.
Helen’s first explorations of her body flooded her brain, and Regina nearly groaned. The headmistress had proven her leadership skills and not waited for direction. Instead, she’d asked.
Cecilia was watching her. The girl’s gaze slid to where Helen had last been seen. “I’m guessing you’ve been directed?”
“Psshaw, I am an expert. No one needs to direct me.” Regina laughed, giving Cecilia a friendly shove toward the curry brush. “Now get to work.”
Once the girl turned away, however, the stablemistress frowned. This isolated campus was like a small village. Everyone knew each other’s affairs, and what they didn’t know, they guessed. She could not afford to lose this post, delicious leaders who were fast learners or not.
Helen was right. Their relationship needed to remain secret, and they should do better at keeping it so.
The stab of anguish in the vicinity of her heart took her by surprise.
She’d known from the start the affair must have an end date. It wasn’t as though they could marry in the nearest church and live happily ever after. However, she was afraid it was too late to avoid being hurt. Her heart was very much engaged.
Helen watched Grace’s reactions closely when they discussed the work for the coming days. The young woman wore a small frown, and Helen tried to determine whether it was from concern or concentration. She’d caught more winces and hand clenching the past fortnight, and her concern was growing. Everyone was feeling the burden of growth. Whilst expansion was desirable, it remained a problem—another one that she was responsible for solving.
“How are you doing with the written evaluations?” she asked her assistant. As students completed their coursework, the instructors submitted assessments of their learnings. After a member of the administration reviewed and approved them, they were given to the girls’ sponsors when they arrived to collect their charges.
“I am almost finished reading through them,” Grace answered. Her frown of concentration smoothed into a smile. “I love hearing about how each student has grown, and how it may align or differ with what they or their sponsor expected when they first came here.”
Helen chuckled, remembering her conversation with Regina. Grace was the perfect complement to her skills and preferences. If only they had one or two additional senior administrators to help.
“Right, then. We’re at the end of my list. Have I forgotten anything, or is there something you want to add?” Helen asked.
There it was. Grace winced.
Helen sat up straighter, leaning forward.
“I have a few items. Have you approved the groundskeeper’s order for fresh gravel to line the drive to the dormitories that we spoke of a sennight ago?”
Helen closed her eyes. “Drat. No. I will find the requisition and send it out tomorrow.”
“It shan’t be here in time for the end of the current introductory course then, and rain is forecasted.”
“I am sorry. I thought the worst of spring rains were behind us.”
Students finishing an introductory course needed several days to pack and be picked up by their sponsor, depending on how far they had to travel. The housekeeping staff needed the remainder of the week to finish laundering the linens for the bunks and reset the dormitories before they welcomed students for the next introductory course. The main drive got the most use that week and could quickly become muddy with all the traffic. In addition to carriages getting stuck, which was a bigger challenge than she liked to contemplate in a school staffed entirely of women, people—Regina—could slip and hurt themselves carrying students’ trunks to and fro.
She clenched her hands under her desk in frustration at yet another task she’d fallen behind on.
“What about reviewing the proposal for the new advanced class?” Grace questioned. Every instructor was invited to propose a new class. Advanced classes were shorter than mercantile or introductory classes with a wider variety of special skills offered. Even students who had suggestions were encouraged to partner with an instructor so the proposal met academic standards. The latest one had been waiting for her review for a fortnight.
Helen shook her head, wanting to lay it on her desk and weep. Defeated, she wondered why she thought she’d have time for a friendship, much less a romantic relationship. The neglected tasks being voiced felt like punishment for reclaiming her evenings to spend with Regina. Yet, she did not regret any of it. Regina was more important than falling behind in her duties.
Grace was not finished with her chastisements. “Have you received any responses to your inquiries for another assistant?”
“A few. I will follow up on them today or tomorrow, although I don’t know where I’ll find the time to travel to London.” Regina floated to the forefront of Helen’s distractions again. Perhaps they could go together. No, that would be too obvious. ’Twas bad enough she was circumventing the rules. Which meant she’d have to go alone and miss more nights with her newfound lover.
A furrow kept appearing between Grace’s brows. Her tone was flat when she responded, “We’ll ensure everything runs smoothly here when you go, as we always do.”
Helen cocked her head. Something was amiss. She dithered on whether to ask her about it or wait for the young woman to come to her when she was ready. Sighing at the list of tasks she already had, Helen decided to let it slide.
Aloud, she added, “There is also a board of overseers meeting in a sennight. I’ve written to them asking them to find candidates who might be interested.”
“What of the recruiters? I know they generally focus on determining fits for prospective students, but perhaps we can ask them to consider instructors also?”
“An excellent idea. Thank you, Grace. I shall write to them today.” She scribbled a reminder on her to-do list.
Grace pressed her lips together.
There was definitely something on her assistant’s mind, but she often needed time to consider issues before bringing them to Helen’s attention. The clock on her desk seemed to tick louder as Helen scanned the list they’d discussed. She could hardly wait to see Regina.
“Have you heard from Miss Jenkins yet?” Grace referred to Beth Jenkins, a former student who had taken almost every class offered before returning to her cousin’s home in London. She volunteered with the charity school that had helped found this program and had a knack for matching people’s needs. Helen hoped she had a few people who needed roles and would suit both skill-wise as instructors and in outlook with the school’s philosophy.
“No, but I’m sure I shall, as we correspond regularly about her husband’s goods.” Even before they’d been married, Beth had helped Robert Orford create a catalogue for his intimate leather apparel and accessories to sell to and through the school.
Come to think of it, there were some interesting leather dildos in that catalogue. Perhaps a gift for Regina…
She shook her head as Grace rose, collecting her pile of paperwork to return to her office. She was already behind on work. There was no time to dally on gifts for her sexy lover, much as she’d like to.