Despite the longer hours of daylight, it was dark by the time Helen finished ticking names off her graduate list and checking on the housekeeping staff regarding their turnover of the introductory class dormitory.
Grabbing a cold meat pie—she’d apologize to the kitchen tomorrow—and a decanter of wine, she picked her way down the muddy path carefully. It wouldn’t do to fall after yelling at Regina for tromping about. Besides, she was so exhausted she needed to be extra cautious.
She’d managed two more cups of tea and a pastry on the run, but she was ravenous. Sniffing the meat pie in its muslin wrapping, she almost hoped Regina had eaten. Helen shook her head—she was clearly delirious. She didn’t even know if Regina would allow her entry.
Regina was pacing the wide center hall of the stables, muttering at her equine friends as they poked their heads over the stall doors. As Helen’s skirts swished into hearing, she turned.
“Hello, love. Have you eaten?” Helen asked once she’d neared. She tried to keep her voice even and easy, but inside, she worried about her welcome. Her hands were damp from nerves, and she clutched the wine tighter.
“No,” Regina flicked her gaze down, then back to Helen’s and grinned. “I also brought snacks from the kitchen in case you hadn’t eaten. We shall have a feast.”
“Excellent, I’ve barely eaten all day. My apologies will be more coherent with a few bites of food in me, if that is permitted?” She did not want to presume even the smallest thing after her actions earlier. A small part of her was surprised she hadn’t been yelled at yet. She deserved to be.
Regina caught her arm in one hand and the wine in her other, pulling her forward. “Of course. Let’s get you fed.”
After inhaling a quarter of the meat pie in three bites, Helen sipped her wine and sat up, feeling much more coherent and ready to beg for forgiveness. “I am sure I don’t need to tell you how full move-out days are. And as you know, I awoke late and did not have time for breakfast. I was tense and hungry, then I saw you and pictured you slipping and simply snapped.” Her words poured out in a rush. “There’s no excuse for my tone, no matter what the circumstances. I humbly beg your pardon. Whilst it came from concern, ’twas not well executed.”
“I understand.” Regina had leaned forward to listen to her explanation, her eyes steady on Helen.
“I am happy to make it—” a huge yawn escaped “—up to you.” Thankful Regina seemed to accept her plea, Helen propped her elbow on the table and her head on her hand to stare at her beautiful lover, a silly smile lighting her face. If only she could find the energy to stand, she’d drag Regina to bed and apologize properly. She’d been contemplating various alternatives all day.
“You are forgiven. No need for acts of contrition.” Regina sounded almost amused as she moved their plates aside.
“You’re sure? I had an excellent plan.” Helen’s words slurred with exhaustion. It was all she could do to stay awake.
Regina must have noticed. “Perhaps tomorrow night then. Come to bed. ’Tis late, and you’re exhausted. I shall rub your back, and I promise to wake you earlier tomorrow.”
Stripping to their chemises, the women brushed out their hair and braided it before crawling into Regina’s narrow bed.
Helen curled on her side, half asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. Regina’s mix of soft breasts and gentle hands in counterpoint to her muscular arms and legs surrounded Helen. These were not the actions of someone in a steamy short-lived affair. Helen felt loved and cared for, and she relaxed.
Before the taller woman could even circle her palm once around Helen’s spine, her thoughts spun into black silence, and she slept.
* * * *
The next day dawned gray but dry. True to her word, Regina nudged Helen awake with soft kisses before anyone other than the kitchen staff was up and about.
Regina lounged in bed and watched Helen dress quickly, the headmistress not bothering with her hair until she returned to her rooms to change to a new dress. She stood as Helen stepped toward the bed and drew her into an embrace.
The shorter woman ran her hands from Regina’s shoulders to bottom, snuggling into her, and Regina returned the caress.
“Thank you.” The words were muffled against her throat.
“Try to eat something this morning, yes?” She gave Helen a gentle squeeze before releasing her.
“I shall. Today will be another day of insanity. Perhaps you can come up and bring supper to my rooms later?”
“If you’d like. If you need a night to catch up on sleep without sharing your bed, I understand.”
“No. I sleep better with you.”
Warmth burst in Regina’s chest that had nothing to do with the kiss Helen stretched up to plant on her lips. She’d forgive this woman anything if she could keep her.
Daggers. That risky feeling had never been in her plans or her dreams.
“I must go. I’ll see you tonight?” Helen asked as she turned toward the door.
“Certainly.” Regina followed her to the door, assessing first the luscious derriere retreating from view, then the weather.
As the clouds remained intact, not releasing any rain, Regina decided it was safe to resume carrying luggage for the students scheduled to depart that day.
Dropping a trunk on the stairs of the main building, she pivoted to return to the stables. Her name being called made her turn.
Grace descended toward her, her face a careful blank.
“Hullo, Grace. How are you faring?”
“I’m exhausted. Who do you think has to cover Helen’s tasks while she is indulging in her little infatuation with you?” The words were stilted, said through a clenched jaw.
Shocked, Regina took a breath before replying. Perhaps she had misunderstood. Helen’s assistant had been professional and kind throughout her tenure at the school. Helen would not have stood any less. “I beg your pardon?”
“As well you should. Helen and I could hardly keep up with the workload. Then you distracted her, and we are drowning. Worse, she doesn’t seem to care. Her focus is whether it’s supper time so she can see you.”
“Have you spoken to her about this?” Regina asked in a neutral tone.
“I have repeatedly asked her about her progress in hiring another assistant. But nay, ’tis another task that has fallen by the wayside.” Grace’s hands were fisted at her sides, although she was heedful not to raise her voice. “I am done with taking the brunt of the workload to make her look good. I love this school as much as she does, and I’ve labored tirelessly alongside her to get it where it is today. I have so many ideas for the future, but no time to implement them. A word of warning—I’ve written to the board to ask their help in solving this.”
Regina gasped. “You didn’t!”
“I did. I plan to tell them about Helen violating the school’s rules with your relationship and ask that they consider offering me a promotion.”
“But-but-” Regina didn’t know where to begin. “The only promotion would be Helen’s role.”
Grace shrugged one shoulder. “At this point, I cannot worry about that, just as she has not worried about me handling the work she unloaded onto my desk.” She tilted her head. “If it’s any consolation, I think Helen has done enough for the school she’ll keep her position, or a role here, at least. She owns the land, after all. You, however, need to go. As long as you are a distraction, this will continue. And you violated the rules despite knowing them. For heaven’s sake, Helen liked men before you started this.”
The words stabbed into Regina’s heart. Panic flowed through her like a horse stomping on her chest.
The little termagant in front of her did not care about promises between lovers. She’d taken it over their heads.
Desperate, Regina begged, “Please, do not do this. I shall ensure she spends less time with me. No time with me. I will turn her away until she stops coming. I’ll stay out of sight in the stables, just as it was before.”
Grace frowned. She started to shake her head.
“You have no proof we did anything wrong,” Regina said in a rush. “We supped together and talked, as colleagues and friends do.”
“Fine.” Grace snapped, and Regina sighed in relief. “I shan’t raise my suspicions of a relationship with them if you cease disrupting Helen’s work and this school’s future. Unless—”
Regina tensed again.
“—they specifically ask about distractions.”
Regina deflated. Of course, Grace would not lie for them. She only hoped it would not come to that. Now she had to figure out how to save both Helen’s position and her own by lying to the woman she loved.
Placing one last document in her completed pile, Helen stood and stretched.
Through the open doorway, Grace looked up. “Are you leaving?”
Registering the faint censure in her assistant’s voice, Helen responded, “I was planning on it. Was there something urgent you need before I go?”
“No.” The younger woman gestured to the piles littering her desk. “I have a lot to do before I feel I’ve accomplished enough to call it a night.”
Helen raised her brows but let the jibe pass. “Good luck. I am starving. I do hope you’ll get supper before the kitchen closes.”
Stepping out, she considered her assistant’s response. The end of another day of move-outs was not the right time to have a sensitive discussion, however. They were both too tired and frazzled.
Opening the door to her suite, Helen stepped over the threshold. Paper crinkled under her shoe. She frowned and picked up the folded note to read.
Dear Helen,
I hope your workday went smoothly. I am unable to join you for the evening. It seems people have begun to notice our association and speculate on the nature of it. We’d be best served by pausing or even stopping our activities, as I would never want to jeopardize your dream for this amazing institution you have built. I wish you all the best in the upcoming board meeting and beyond.
Love,
Regina
Helen fell back against the doorframe, sadness taking the strength from her limbs. Her arms dropped, the note crumpling again against her skirt. Her head thunked against the wooden door.
Helen wracked her brain for what—or who—could have brought on this sudden reversal. When they’d spoken of the risks earlier in the relationship, Helen had been more concerned about discovery than Regina. Now, Regina was writing notes and avoiding her for fear of exposure. Something had changed, but she had no idea what.
She recalled Grace’s recent strangeness. Could the two be related?
Helen shook her head. There were rarely interactions between the stablemistress and her assistant, and certainly the move-outs the past few days would not have left time for much conversation.
Helen debated returning to her office and getting more work done, especially given Grace’s concerns. Perhaps she could make a few gentle inquiries about the young woman’s frustrated state.
No. The more pressing issue was the woman she loved. And how could Regina have signed “Love” on such a terrible note? That alone required a conversation. Helen wasn’t headmistress of a growing school because she let things go. Stomping out, she beelined for the stables, determined to get to the bottom of this sudden reversal.
Regina huddled in the chair farthest from the door to her room. She wanted to guzzle wine and reach for oblivion, but she could never bring herself to lose that much control. Besides, her role as stablemistress did not allow for hangovers. The animals still needed care and were big enough to cause injury if she was listless.
Hoping against hope no knock would sound at the door, no irate headmistress would appear with questions on her lips, she cowered.
When the inevitable knock came, she sighed.
“Regina?” Helen’s voice was faint through the wood.
She had a wild thought of hiding and not answering, but that would only delay the inevitable. Placing a hand on the table, she levered to her feet and trudged over to open the door.
“Helen.” Her voice was flat.
“What is the meaning of this?” Helen brandished the note.
“You are the more intelligent of us. I am sure you understand.”
“I never thought so until I got this. How can such a lovely, smart woman write such drivel?”
Regina’s spine went rigid. She’d expected this and was prepared. No matter that she agreed, she had to appear outraged. Helen’s position and her own depended on her generally woeful acting ability. “’Twasn’t drivel when you voiced the same fears.”
Helen reached for her, but Regina took a long step back.
The headmistress’s face fell, tears welling in her beautiful eyes. “Please, we can be more careful. Perhaps fewer meals. Perhaps more time out here, away from others in the main building. Tell me what you need.”
“I need—” Regina sucked in a deep breath. She could do this. Her heart was rending with each word, but she could manage the next few minutes. She’d figure out the rest later. “—you to go.”
Helen started crying in earnest, both hands at her face, the crumpled paper caught in her hair. “You signed it—” Hiccup. “‘love.’ If you meant it, don’t do this. Please.”
Regina clenched her hands, every muscle in her body straining toward this strong, intelligent, lovely woman who was hurting, to soothe her, hold her, reassure her. To take that horrible note and shred it and make love to the person she was sure was the love of her life.
Instead, she stood silent and still.
Catching her breath on a sob, Helen scanned her from head to toe and back again. Nodding once, she calmed another degree. “This isn’t the end. I will return another time to discuss it further. In the meantime, know this. I love you. I am in love with you. I am not giving up.”
Regina bit her lip to hold in her own sobs as Helen nodded again and let herself out. Only when the footsteps had faded from hearing did she throw herself on her bed and bawl.