Prologue

 

Papillon, LA

 

Noelle LaVigne stood at the edge of the big deck in her father’s backyard and sighed because she really did miss this place and her family. It was late afternoon and the heat of the day was only broken by the nice wind coming off the water and the shade from the big cypress trees. She’d spent many an afternoon sitting under those trees and dreaming of her future.

Most of her young life she’d lived in New Orleans, but she’d always thought of Papillon as home.

She missed the bayou and her family, but she was kind of ready to be back in her apartment. Sure there were problems waiting for her in Dallas, but she was optimistic that she could solve them.

Even Madison’s murder, because she was almost certain her rival scientist’s death hadn’t been an accident.

Would Madison have tried to solve Noelle’s murder? Probably not. She’d been a genuinely terrible human being who’d tried to make Noelle’s life hell. Unfortunately, Noelle had been raised to rise above and all that, so she couldn’t look the other way.

And she was curious.

“Hey, sweetie. Do you want something to drink?” Her stepmother walked out from the house where the sound of the game playing rocked the living room. The LSU game was on the big screen, and if her father and his friends’ shouts were any indication, it was going well.

“I know I want something to drink.” Lila’s sister, Lisa, stepped out from behind her, putting a hand to her lower back.

An evil grin lit her stepmom’s face. “You get water. And stay away from the lemonade because I’m pretty sure Zep spiked it with vodka. You’ve got at least another six weeks before you can even think about taking a drink.”

Lisa was heavily pregnant with her first child. She and her husband, Remy, had taken their time. They’d been married for almost eight years when Lisa had announced she was having a baby. It had been fun to watch the big guy go pale at the thought. Lila was having a blast watching her youngest sister go through what she’d already been through twice.

Lisa put a hand on her belly. “I hope my husband is happy with one because this pregnancy stuff sucks.”

Lila chuckled. “Noelle, I want you to listen to your aunt for the next four or five years. Pregnancy is not for you. Until you’re a bit older, and then your dad is totally going to want grandkids.”

Now she was pretty sure she was the one going pale. “No.”

Lila pointed her way. “That is exactly what you should say. For now.” She glanced out over the backyard. “Boys, that Frisbee is meant to be thrown, not eaten.” Lila sighed. “I hope I’m right and that is a girl in your belly because boys…I’m lucky I still have hair. I was totally taken in with stories of how easy Noelle was. Then bammo, I spit out two boys and my life is one long test to see if I can keep two human beings alive. I’m a medical professional. It’s what I do every day, but those boys…Jason, do not try to ride the dog.”

Lila strode off as the boys started to chase each other, and inside the house she could hear the guys shouting their joy over someone catching a ball or something.

She’d never been into sports, but that hadn’t stopped her dad from finding ways to bond with her. Her small-town sheriff father had gone to way too many science fairs to mention. He’d become a STEM dad and put up with chemistry experiments in his bathroom through her teen years.

After the accident that had left her in a wheelchair, he’d supported her when she’d learned to walk again. He and her stepmom had given her the encouragement she’d needed to make her dreams come true, and that was why she came over on football days whenever she was in town.

“You doing okay, kiddo?” Lisa asked.

“I’m good. I’m enjoying watching the kids play.” Her much younger brothers were running around the backyard, swinging on the trees like the crazy little boys they were. She spent so much time in a lab it was good to get out and remember there was a whole world out here.

There was a world she could discover and explore and find out if she had a place in.

“Are you still feeling good about what we talked about?” Lisa kept her voice down. “Never mind. I can see you are.”

Because she was smiling. She could feel it on her face. “I’m excited.”

Lisa leaned over and patted her hand. “I’m excited for you, sweetie. You’re going to have fun and make some great new friends.”

Noelle went silent as her stepmom came back to the porch and checked the smoker that was currently cooking the meaty portion of the evening’s supper. “Those boys are going to give me a heart attack one of these days. Are you sure you can’t stay longer? It’s been nice to have you here.”

“We love you, Noelle!” her youngest brother screamed from the top of the slide.

“I love you, too,” she screamed right back. She did. They were awesome. In small doses. She would be on a plane first thing in the morning and back to her super-quiet apartment where she would watch TV that wasn’t a cartoon and sip adult “juice” boxes. She looked to her stepmom. “I have to get back to work. I normally wouldn’t have taken this time off, but they shut down the lab after the accident. I got the word today that we’ve been given the all clear to work again.”

They’d spent a week ensuring the lab was safe after the accident that probably wasn’t an accident, but she wasn’t about to tell her stepmom she intended to play Nancy Drew. After all, she’d mentioned to her dad that she was a little suspicious about a couple of things that had happened at work lately, and now she had a meeting with a security company.

“She can’t stay,” Lisa said. “Did you forget she’s got that appointment the day after tomorrow? The one Armie set up because he’s a crazy, paranoid freak.”

Her stepmom’s brow arched. “Like your husband isn’t? Who do you think he called when he found out someone might be stalking his baby girl? Three answers, and the first two don’t count.”

“I don’t think anyone is stalking me.” She simply thought someone might be trying to get a look at her work. She’d mentioned it casually to her father and the paranoia had set in.

Lisa shrugged and ignored her. “I always knew Remy was crazy. Why do you think I married him? You, sister, were supposed to be the normal one.”

Lila laughed at that one. “If I wanted normal, I shouldn’t have moved to Papillon, where we have our very own gator mascot.”

Sometimes she missed Otis. But she also loved living in a city. She loved having her own place and being independent.

Probably because only a few years before she hadn’t thought that would be possible.

Her stepmother tucked a piece of dark hair behind her ear and gave her the look that let Noelle know she’d been thinking about a problem and was now ready to face it. “I know it feels like your dad is overbearing, but it’s because he cares. You know he’s worried about you, right?”

Noelle shifted in her seat, stretching her legs. It was a gesture she was well used to since her legs were so often the painful center of her universe. If she didn’t get up and move soon, her calf might cramp. “I’m fine. I’m getting plenty of exercise. If I overdo it, I use my chair the next day. And I’ve got a great physical therapist in Dallas.”

“I’m not talking about being worried about you physically,” Lila corrected. “I was talking about the stress you’ve been under since your friend died.”

Noelle shook her head. Had she not explained this properly? She mostly tried to be nice, but there was no way she was pretending Madison had been her friend. “Oh, she was not my friend. She was always trying to get me fired. It was weird since I’m super nice and everyone loves me. But Madison took one look at me and decided we were some weird enemies or something. I never figured out what I did to deserve that. We came in at the same time. We worked on the same kinds of projects. We were the only women on most of those teams. We should have been friends.”

“Or she’s one of those women who can’t stand having other women around,” Lisa offered. “I’ve known lots of those. Did she get along with the men?”

“Oh, yeah.” She flushed as she realized how that could be misconstrued. “I mean she didn’t date them or anything, but she was nicer to them. Only the ones in charge, though. She was pretty mean to the men who worked under her.”

It was why the techs liked to work for Noelle. If they were given a choice between the chick who baked them cookies and the one who yelled at them and called them morons, they usually picked cookies.

“Lisa’s right, and I should know. Women in STEM don’t merely take crap from men,” Lila explained. Her stepmom had worked in the medical field for years. She now ran Papillon Parish’s only clinic. Noelle remembered how hard it had been on her in the beginning. “Women can be incredibly competitive and not nice about it. But I wasn’t really talking about that. I want to make sure you’re taking this seriously. Do you truly believe someone might be trying to get your research?”

She was desperately worried that what had been happening to her and what happened to Madison were connected, but she wasn’t going to mention that part to her stepmom. Her parents were already freaked out enough by the fact that someone had stolen some samples from her lab, and she was almost certain someone had been on her laptop. They didn’t need to know that she thought someone had murdered her rival. “That’s why I’m going to meet with these people you want me to talk to. But I can’t exactly afford a security team, you know.”

She made good money, but she suspected she couldn’t afford McKay-Taggart rates.

“I wouldn’t worry about getting a bill,” Lisa said. “Big Tag owes Remy. He’s been doing side work for him for years. He’s got his bodyguard unit built up again, but he still likes to send Remy out from time to time, and that means he’s got to give us the family discount. Which means I’ll send him some jambalaya. Don’t discount that. Tag has like a hundred kids or something. It’s a lot of jambalaya.”

Lisa winked her way, reminding her of the secret they had between them. A discount on Big Tag’s security services wasn’t the only reason she would be meeting the McKay-Taggart crew.

She was starting a BDSM training class and she did not need her parents to know about it. She wasn’t ashamed or anything, but her stepmom wasn’t kinky, and her father needed to believe she didn’t have sexual needs in any way. It had been Lisa she’d gone to about the possibility of visiting the club she’d hopefully join at the end of her training—Sanctum. Lisa and her husband, Remy, still went to Sanctum any time they were in Dallas, and Remy had done enough favors for his old boss over the years that Ian Taggart was willing to take her on as a trainee.

She started on Thursday, and going to the club was a big old bright spot in her life. Sex was hard for her, and she hoped this would help her find the ease with her body she dreamed about.

“Does Remy know who’s going to be assigned to her case?” Lila asked.

“I don’t know that anyone needs to be assigned to me.” She sat up straight because her stepmom had the most serious expression on her face. It was the same one she had when she went into battle. Sometimes Noelle had been on the wrong side of that stare. She walked today because her stepmom was a warrior who never gave up on someone she loved.

“Of course they’re going to assign someone.” Her father stepped out onto the deck, stretching his big body and taking a deep breath. “Damn, that smells good. Remy, that new marinade smells like heaven.”

Remy, joined her dad. “It tastes even better. I got the recipe from Big Tag’s brother, Sean. You’re going to love it.”

Lila looked to Remy. “Do you know who they’re assigning to Noelle’s case?”

“I’d like one of the senior partners on it.” Her dad was suddenly incredibly serious. He probably had a list somewhere, and whoever ended up with her case should understand that her dad would run a check on him. “Liam O’Donnell is a solid guy, and I like his partner, Erin Taggart. I would be comfortable with them. Or his brother, Theo Taggart. Any of the more experienced operatives would do.”

“Good, then you’ll be happy.” Remy took a seat next to his wife, reaching for her hand as he usually did. “Hutch has been with McKay-Taggart for over ten years.”

She had no idea who Hutch was. In her mind she pictured an older man, probably in his forties or fifties since he’d been with the company for over a decade, and from what she understood almost every employee at the company came from the military, mostly Special Forces, which meant they’d spent a lot of time in the military. She did the quick math. He could be early forties maybe, but probably with a wife and a couple of kids.

“Hutch, the horndog?” Her father’s eyes had widened as he stared at Remy. “That’s who Big Tag put on my baby girl’s case?”

Remy gave him a seemingly apologetic wince. “He’s the computer expert, man. Her problem is based around computers. Hutch is their go-to guy for tech stuff.”

Her oldest brother was suddenly at their dad’s side, pulling on his T-shirt. “What’s a horndog?”

Noelle felt her face flush because unfortunately she understood her dad’s completely outdated lingo.

“It’s a particular type of dog who likes to sniff around women,” her dad said. “I’m worried about him sniffing around your sister.”

Her brother looked up, showing a heartbreakingly adorable grin. He’d recently lost his two front teeth. “Don’t worry about it. Noelle always smells good. She always smells like cookies.”

Only because she baked a lot. The only guys she attracted by smelling like cinnamon and sugar were kids who begged for sweets. She certainly wasn’t going to have some beefy security guy panting after her. He would probably be some muscley dude who spent all his time in the gym and had completely cut out carbs.

“That does not help my case, Jason,” Remy said under his breath.

That was the moment her dad took a Frisbee to the side of his head.

“Sorry, Dad. Kevin’s got bad aim.” Jason picked up the Frisbee and ran off again.

Her dad rubbed the side of his head. “Fatherhood wasn’t this physically painful with you, Noelle. Though now I’m worried about Big Tag’s choices.”

“Armie, Hutch is the guy for the job,” Remy explained. “He’s been doing all the cyber work for McKay-Taggart since Adam Miles left to form his own company, and before you ask me about hiring them, I do not work for Miles-Dean, Weston, and Murdoch and you cannot afford them. Trust me. If Big Tag needs something from them, he’ll call them in.”

“Can’t we get one of the married guys on this?” her dad asked. “You know how these things go. I swear the MT guys view their clients the way most people use dating apps. How many of those guys end up slipping into bed with clients?”

“Dad!” Her father still had the power to completely embarrass her.

Lisa shook her head and patted her round belly. “Nah, honey, he’s right. How do you think I found Remy? And my sister Laurel ended up with Big Tag’s lawyer when she worked for him, so it’s not just the security guys. It’s pretty much anyone in Big Tag’s orbit. They get pulled into the whole love and marriage thing.”

Her dad pointed Lisa’s way. “Uh, uh. That’s only some of the guys. What about all the women they went through first? Did Remy come into your marriage pure?”

Lisa snorted.

“I did not sleep with a bunch of clients,” Remy argued.

“Just every Hooter’s girl in Dallas,” Lisa said under her breath.

Her stepmom frowned her dad’s way. “Are you trying to say Noelle would be nothing more than a notch on this guy’s bedpost?”

Noelle held up a hand. “I was planning on not sleeping with the guy who checks my computer for viruses and spies.”

She would maybe though sleep with someone from her training class. Lisa had told her sex was common and that she’d had an amazing time with her training Dom. If they set out firm boundaries and she liked the man, it would be a safe way to indulge since the guy would be highly vetted by a bunch of paranoid security experts.

But she wasn’t mentioning that to her dad because…he was her dad.

“I bet Lisa wasn’t planning on sleeping with Remy when he was her bodyguard,” her dad said with an extra frowny frown.

“Oh, I planned to sleep with him. He played hard to get for years and all because he thought I looked too sweet for a guy like him,” Lisa added. “So you’re safe. If Hutch is anything like Remy, he’ll stay far away because he’ll think he’s not good enough for her. Noelle, if he gives you trouble, show him your boobs. It worked for me.”

Her stepmom choked on her iced tea, but her dad went pale.

“I’m not showing anyone my boobs.” Well, not anyone she worked with. And certainly not some guy named Hutch. Who was named Hutch? He sounded like a refugee from a bad old TV show.

Lisa snorted, likely because she knew Noelle would be showing her boobs at Sanctum soon.

They were nice boobs. They weren’t the largest, but they were perky. She would have to show her legs, too, and all her scars, but she’d decided to be okay with them. Anyone who didn’t like them didn’t have to look. She hadn’t wanted those scars, but they were hers, and whoever she ended up with would have to tolerate them.

Her father sighed. “Just be careful. Like I said a lot of those men end up in bed with their clients. I’ve heard this Hutch fellow gets around.”

“Well, maybe he did before and he’ll walk in and take one look at how beautiful and smart and funny my daughter is and she’ll be the one he marries.” Her stepmom had stood, staring her dad’s way. “Don’t you forget you and I worked together, too. She is a lovely twenty-five-year-old woman, and any man would be lucky to catch her.”

“What did I… I thought I was saying the guy’s going to try to sleep with her.” Her father scratched his head as though trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. “I didn’t say she wasn’t beautiful. She is. That’s what I’m worried about. And it wasn’t the same with us. I knew I wanted to marry you right away.”

Lila nodded as though he’d made her point. “But Noelle isn’t worthy of that from a man?”

“Of course she is but…” Her dad shook his head. “I’m going to get a beer.”

Remy stood up, narrowly missing the Frisbee. “I’ll go with you. It’s going to be fine. Hutch is a good guy. He’s even had a couple of girlfriends over the years. Well, one. Maybe two. Mostly he’s a crazy hookup guy. Definitely not Noelle’s type. I think you’re safe.”

Lila leaned over the table. “You’re welcome. I’ve found the way to stop your dad’s overly protective lectures is to challenge him in a stern voice. He usually backs down. Now he’ll stop the ‘no one should touch my precious baby girl’ talk.” She stood up. “Which is a good thing because we all know that’s not true. You be careful at that club.” She pointed her sister’s way. “Laurel is still there, you know. So is our brother. He’s on the board that approves new applicants. Did you honestly think he wouldn’t call me?”

Lisa sat up. “Well, given that it’s supposed to be a secret process, yes.”

Lila’s eyes rolled. “Like anything is really secret at Sanctum. They like to say they’re all covert and mysterious, but when it comes to family…well, Will views Noelle like a niece and he wants to avoid her at all costs. Be nice to your uncle and don’t do anything pervy around him. His club night is Friday. Maybe you could go on Saturdays.”

She knew? Noelle felt her cheeks flame, but she straightened her shoulders anyway. This was her life. “I’m an adult…”

Lila put a hand on her head, smoothing her hair back. “Nope. No need to fight that fight with me. I meant what I said. You are smart and funny and beautiful, and you deserve everything you’re brave enough to go after. I don’t understand the whole submissive thing. I’m not wired that way, but if you are then there is no place I would trust more than Sanctum. After all, it’s where my sisters and my brother found their loves. But do not tell your father. Not now. Maybe in ten years or so.”

Maybe never. “Sorry I didn’t talk to you about it.”

Lila shook her head. “You talked to the best person you possibly could have, and when you get there, don’t hesitate to talk to Laurel, too. I love you. I know we don’t share blood and that you still miss your mom, but you’re my daughter, too. I want the world for you. You are strong and smart. If this Hutch guy is hot and seems like he’d be good for you, go for it. Even if it’s only for a little while. Sex is good for you if you make smart choices about it. Never tell your father I said that.”

She got to her feet and hugged her stepmom. Her mother had died so many years ago, but this woman had eased the blow. Lila had been everything she could have wanted in a mom, and she was grateful to be part of her family. “Thank you.”

“Be safe out there.” Her stepmom hugged her tight and then let go as something whizzed by her head. “I’m never going to survive those boys.”

Noelle leaned over and grabbed the Frisbee. “I’ll handle my brothers for a while if you want to have a glass of wine. That cake has to come out of the oven in about twenty minutes, but I can watch the boys until then.”

“Cake. I’m up for cake,” Lisa said with a grin.

Lila sighed and stepped back. “I’m going to miss you, Noelle. Remember we’re always here for you.”

Her stepmom walked back in the house, and despite the fact that she had some stress at work, she was hopeful for the future.

“That went better than I thought it would,” Lisa said. “I’ll be honest. I figured she would know sooner or later. Lila knows everything. Should Kevin be climbing the shed? God, please be a girl.”

“Kevin! Get down from there.” She picked up her cane and started for the stairs because her brother was trying to kill himself. Her stepmom’s dog Peanut was whining as though he knew disaster was about to happen but couldn’t figure out how to fix the problem.

Jason ran by her, grinning. “Throw it to me, Noelle. Throw it to me.”

“I know Hutch,” Lisa was saying behind her. “He’s actually pretty cute, and I’ve heard he’s good in bed.”

Oh, that did not matter. She tossed him the Frisbee while she started to drag her other brother out of harm’s way.

She kind of hoped Lisa had a girl, too.

And it didn’t matter if Hutch was cute because she wasn’t about to get caught in a trap. No way. No how.

 

* * * *

 

Dallas, TX

 

Greg Hutchins watched as his friends started to shuffle toward the door of Michael Malone’s gorgeous high-rise condo that overlooked Victory Park. It was a far cry from the home Hutch had recently purchased, but in many ways he preferred his three-bedroom ranch in Chapel Downs. He never thought he would live in what was basically the suburbs, but when he’d gotten the chance to buy it from a friend, he’d taken it.

He’d moved in the month before, and the whole place pretty much consisted of a massive TV, a couple of gaming chairs, a folding table in the “dining” room, and his bed. He hadn’t counted on how empty the place would feel.

Which was precisely why he’d been happy to get the invite from Michael to come to his place and watch an afternoon of college football. It had been good to hang with the guys instead of spending the entire weekend on his computer.

But now the game was over, and tonight was a play night at Sanctum. Most of his friends played on Saturday nights. He hadn’t been in a few months. The club had lost something for him.

Like the rest of his life had lost… He wasn’t sure what word he was thinking of. Spark? Adventure? Shine?

All he knew was that lately he’d felt like he was doing nothing more than going through the motions. Go to work. Go home. Eat dinner alone and sit in front of a screen of some kind. Wake up and do it all over again.

He felt a bit empty, and that wasn’t what he’d expected since he knew what real tragedy was. He had most of what he needed in life, so why was there a hole in his soul?

“Are you not coming out tonight?” Theo Taggart asked, his keys in hand. “Case is in town, and he and Mia are letting the girls watch Heath. Although do not mention that to him. He thinks it’s a hangout with his cousins. He doesn’t know Tasha is getting paid. He’s sensitive about the word babysitter. I’m not mentioning it to my eleven-year-old either.”

Case and Theo Taggart were the youngest of the Taggart brothers. Fraternal twins, Case was a few minutes older than his brother. They were both solid guys. Hutch had worked with the brothers for years.

“Tasha’s in charge of everyone?” Tag’s oldest kid was very responsible, but there were a lot of kids in that family, and they were not known for their calmness. Tag alone had four besides Tash.

“Carys is there, too. Kenzie will be solid, and Kala will sit in her room and play on the computer.” Theo frowned. “I hope that’s what she’s doing. I worry she’s setting herself up for world domination or something. She spends way too much time with her Aunt Chelsea. Come with us. It’ll be a blast. Case is only here for a week or two and then he’s back in New York for the rest of the year. 4L is rolling out something big, and he’s in charge of security around it.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hang with Case. It was that being in Sanctum reminded him how fucking dull his life had become. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but somehow the things that used to hold meaning for him had faded. Somehow turning thirty had been a tipping point, and now playing video games all night with strangers across the globe no longer held appeal.

Which was precisely why he should go to the club, find a pretty sub, and pass a nice night.

Yeah, that had lost its appeal, too.

“Maybe I will come,” he hedged because he didn’t want Theo to think he was dodging Case.

Theo looked like he wasn’t completely buying the words, but he nodded. “I hope to see you there. Michael, thanks for the hospitality. It was fun to spend an afternoon with the guys.”

Because Theo rarely did it anymore. He usually spent his Saturdays at his daughter’s soccer games or doing things with his son. He was a family man, and it was obvious that made him happy.

Michael Malone stood in his entryway and nodded. There was a smile on his face, but it couldn’t hide the grimness in his eyes.

It hadn’t been that long since Michael had called off his long-planned wedding, and there were still touches of his fiancée all over the condo.

The door closed behind Theo and he was left alone with Michael. They’d been friends for years. Over a decade. Hutch had been the tech expert on the CIA team Michael and the other guys worked for back in the day. Most of that same team now worked at McKay-Taggart, though they all found themselves at different places in life. Theo and Case had been married for years. Some of the other guys were in seemingly happy relationships. Some were single and mingling.

Hutch felt stuck, and he wondered if that wasn’t how Michael felt, too.

“You going to Sanctum tonight?” Michael had been a regular when he’d been with his fiancée. Hutch still wasn’t sure what had happened between the two, but Michael hadn’t dated since the breakup.

Michael’s mouth turned down in a frown. “I should, but I think I’m going to stay here and watch the late game. You’re welcome to join me. I’ve noticed you haven’t been going regularly.”

Hanging out with Michael might be a better way to spend his evening. At least he wouldn’t watch the scenes and the couples and try to figure out why he felt restless. After he’d broken up with Katy, he’d spent a lot of time at the club, but no time connecting with anyone. “It doesn’t feel the same lately. It’s weird. I can’t seem to find my focus. I haven’t found a scene partner I click with in a long time.”

He’d only had a couple of women he’d viewed as anything beyond transitory partners. There were subs he would scene with when they needed a top, but none of them had been “his.” His one foray into the vanilla dating world had been a spectacular disaster that led him to almost a year of celibacy, and he couldn’t seem to get back into a routine.

“Give yourself some time. I know that breakup was hard on you,” Michael said.

That was part of the problem. “It really wasn’t. It was a relief.”

Michael crossed to the bar and pulled out the good Scotch. “How so?”

“I didn’t start dating Katy for the right reasons.” He’d worked through all of this, but he wondered if Michael might be the one who needed to talk. “I did it because she made sense, and it felt like it was time to settle down. I kind of floated through it, you know. When I found out she was cheating on me, I wasn’t even mad. She brought her new boyfriend to pick up her stuff from my place and I sat down and played a couple of rounds of Halo 7 with him.”

Michael whistled. “You were not invested in that relationship.”

He shrugged because he knew he’d been guilty, too. He’d made mistakes. “We weren’t truly compatible, and I never felt a spark with her. But then I’ve never felt a spark with anyone, so I have to wonder if I’m just not that guy.”

Michael offered Hutch a glass and held up his own. “You described my entire relationship with Tessa. Except for the cheating part. She’s a good woman. I just couldn’t love her the way she deserved. May they forgive us.”

He would drink to that. Katy was a nice lady, but they were not meant to be. He clinked his glass. “May we forgive ourselves.”

Michael chuckled. “You’ve been in therapy too long.”

He shrugged and drank back a bit of the excellent Scotch. It burned in a pleasant way. “You can never get too much therapy.”

Especially not when a person had grown up the way he had. Abusive father, check. Death of his mom. Check. Bad relationship with distant stepmother leading to life on the streets and then in and out of juvie. Check and check.

Sometimes he didn’t even count that year he’d been undercover for an insanely criminal doctor who performed tests on soldiers. It was sad that the time he’d spent with Hope McDonald wasn’t the worst of his life.

“I heard you’re going out into the field.” Michael settled on the barstool.

“Sort of. I’m not sure.” It was still confusing. He wasn’t the “field” guy. He was the guy who sat behind a computer, but he’d kept up the training McKay-Taggart Security required of all its employees. Even the receptionist had to take self-defense after that one time a CIA team had raided the office.

He’d been on the wrong side of that battle, but they’d all worked it out. God, that seemed like another lifetime. Everyone had changed, but he was stuck in the same place.

He didn’t understand what Tag meant by going into the field since he could do almost anything he needed to do remotely. He didn’t have to sit in front of a computer to hack it. Security had gotten better over the last couple of years, but so had his hacking skills. He was the dude who stayed in the background when the bullets started flying.

“What does that mean? I thought you were taking on that family case Tag was talking about,” Michael said. “Something go sideways? I didn’t get back until late Friday.”

Michael had been on a case and hadn’t heard the latest developments. “I was supposed to meet her two days ago, but something happened at her lab and she ended up going home for a couple of days. We rescheduled for Monday. The fact that there was an accident in the lab means Tag thinks I might need backup. He’s paired me with a bodyguard.”

Michael set his glass down. “Yes, I heard you’re working with Kyle Hawthorne. He’s…interesting.”

“He’s a walking time bomb, and everyone knows it.” Unfortunately, he was also Big Tag’s brother’s stepson. If anyone needed therapy, it was Kyle Hawthorne. He’d recently left the Navy, and everyone thought he would go back to college. But instead he’d shown up at McKay-Taggart and went straight into the bodyguard program.

Things happened around Kyle. Dangerous things.

“Boomer went out on a job with him a couple of weeks ago,” Michael mused. “He said Kyle was pretty solid in the field. He said Kyle watched his back when they got in some trouble.”

Boomer had been on the team as long as Hutch had been. He was the group’s firearms specialist. But he had his quirks. “Kyle probably bought Boomer a pizza and now they’re best friends.”

There was something dark in Kyle that made Hutch wary. It wasn’t that he thought Kyle was a bad guy. It was that something simmered beneath his surface, and Hutch had learned that simmering tended to lead to exploding. He didn’t want to be around when that man exploded.

“You could talk to Tag if you feel uncomfortable.” Michael sat back. “He might send in someone else.”

“I think Tag has his reasons.” He trusted his boss. He was also worried there was another reason he was taking Kyle into the “field.” “This is mostly a tech job. I’ll still be behind a computer. Kyle will likely take point with the client. Reading the file, I’m not sure how much Noelle LaVigne truly needs a bodyguard. I get that her dad is nervous, but something feels off. Do you think this could be a setup? You know how Charlotte likes to play matchmaker.”

Charlotte Taggart had matched up more than one of her employees, and sometimes she did it under the guise of “working” with Charlotte’s choice of mate. He wouldn’t put it past her or Big Tag to pair up their nephew with a family friend. Especially if they thought Noelle would be good for Kyle.

Michael’s brow arched. “You know anything about this woman? I heard she’s the daughter of a friend of Remy Guidry’s.”

He’d gone over the file on Noelle LaVigne several times. “She’s super smart. She’s heading a test team at the age of twenty-five. She was in a bad car accident when she was younger, and she had to learn to walk again. She still uses a cane or a brace, but she hasn’t let that stop her. She grew up in a tiny town but moved to the big city, and she lives on her own.”

Michael nodded as though Hutch was going down the right path. “So she’s probably on the nerdy side, definitely likes tech. She’s younger than you but not more than a couple of years.”

Michael wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. “Yeah. And Charlotte told me she likes to bake. So I might get some cookies out of it. That’s a plus.”

He wished he didn’t still crave sweets, but he’d gotten to the point that he accepted it. He spent extra time in the gym, and it didn’t show.

Michael stared at him like he was missing something. “So a cute woman who’s interested in a lot of the things you’re interested in and loves to bake comes along, and you think Charlotte is trying to pair her up with a dude who obviously needs therapy.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried…” He could be slow about the emotional stuff sometimes, but the truth did hit him after a while. Like a sledgehammer. He sat there for a moment. “Shit. You think it’s me?”

He hadn’t even considered that.

Michael’s eyes rolled and he chuckled. “Yes. I think the cute nerd who loves to bake probably fits better with the nerd who calls himself Candyman online. For one of the smartest dudes I know, you can be shockingly un-self-aware. Just remember the last man Charlotte set up.”

That had been Michael Malone himself, and it hadn’t worked out for him, though he and Tessa Santiago were still friends.

At least Charlotte hadn’t set him up with a fellow employee. Michael had to see his ex every day.

He stopped. He wasn’t going to let himself get set up. He was not that guy. Was he? It wasn’t like he was great at picking his own women. But he wasn’t that guy. “I’m not in a good place for a relationship.”

“What place is that?” Michael asked.

He wasn’t sure. What place was he in? A weird place where he wanted to date but he didn’t want to date. He wanted what his friends had but didn’t see himself there. He wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t sure how to be happy.

“No idea, man. I think that’s the problem.” He was ready and he also wasn’t ready. He was still a big old mess, and that meant he wasn’t good for anyone.

Still, she was pretty cute, and Charlotte was usually right about things. After all, she’d been the one to tell him she didn’t think Katy could give him what he needed.

Katy had managed to give some dude named Bowen what he needed. Lots of times. Mostly in their bed, and he was pretty sure once in his car. He sighed.

“Come on,” Michael said with a chuckle. “I think we should order pizza and watch the late game. Come Monday, you’ll meet this Noelle and see if there’s anything beyond the job.”

“I am not being set up.” He was absolutely certain about that. “I’m done with the vanilla world. I need to get back in the swing of things and find a sub and settle down.”

Settling didn’t seem like a terrible thing to do. It might be nice. And now he had a house to offer a woman. He had a good job and lots of friends who were like family.

“So you want to go to the club?”

No. He really didn’t. Hutch groaned. “Nah. Order a pizza. Let’s watch some football.”

Mindless entertainment. That was what he needed. It would get his mind off the fact that he had an empty house to go home to, with no real prospects on the horizon.

Because he wasn’t getting set up.

She was more than cute. She was smart, and she had to be tough to get through what she’d been through. He admired that.

He caught sight of a picture of Michael and his former fiancée. They were smiling and seemed happy.

Nope. He wasn’t going there. He moved into the living room and found his seat, trying not to think about the fact that Charlotte thought the cute nerd might be a match for him.

He liked cute nerds.

But again, he wasn’t going there. He sat back and tried to relax as the game came on.

It would be a long weekend, but they all kind of were now.

He didn’t see that changing any time soon.