tab•leau (tab-lō′), n. and adj. a phrase pertaining to controlling the extent of a bill of sale. “I ain’t buyin’ another round, ’cause I’m tryin’ to keep my tableau.”

ta•boo (te-bü′), v. to verbally express negative opinions about another or others. “It ain’t right for them folks taboo little Billy like that.”

tal•on (ta′-len), v. to be revealing information verbally. “I’m talon you, it was an eagle, not a hawk.”

tap•es•try (tap′-es-trē), v. and n. to create a canal or opening for the purpose of drainage in a particular woody arborescent perennial. “You might find some syrup if you tapestry.”

tar•na•tion (tär′-nā-shen), adj. and n. the complete and total population of a sovereign territorial state. “The whole country is into NASCAR now. I’m talkin’ ’bout the tarnation.”

TABOO

TATTOO

tat•too (ta-tü′), prep. and n. up to a couple of hours past midday or midnight. “I can only stay tattoo—then I gotta get back to work.”

Tau•rus (tr′-es), v. and adj. to rend or split something belonging to a male. “When he tried to pick up that penny, he Taurus underwear.”

taw•dry (t′-drē), prep. and n. conveying toward or giving something to any person or creature with the name Audrey. “If you think the dress is that ugly, why don’t you give it tawdry? She’s half blind, so she’ll never know the difference.”

teat (tēt′), v. to consume and swallow a solid substance through the mouth. “Mama, I didn’t get enough teat.”

tee•pee (tē′-pē), n. urination caused by drinking the brewed leaves of Camellia sinensis. “I love drinkin’ tea, but after about half a cup I gotta take a teepee.”

TELECAST

tele•cast (tel-i-kast′), conj. and n. regarding advice given to wait on any action so that it is not done before the deployment of a plaster mold used to ensure the immobility of a limb. “Don’t move your arm telecast gets put on it.”

tele•mar•ket•ing (tel′-e-mär-ke-ting), v. and adj. to make a statement to someone or something involved in advertising. “I once had to telemarketing guy that if he called my house one more time I’d hunt him down and shoot his phone.”

tele•path (tel′-e-path), conj. and n. up to a certain time, with regard to a route. “I ain’t hiking no more telepath is chosen.”

tele•phone (tel′-e-fōn), v. and n. to recognize or perceive a fact concerning a device that converts acoustic vibrations to a transmittable electronic signal. “You can telephone never rang, ’cuz there’s no incoming calls displayed.”

TELEMARKETING

Tel•es•tra•tor (tel′-es-strāt-er), v. and n. with an implied threat, to command a person to verbalize without prevarication. “Enough of the bull, boy. Tell us the story and Telestrator else.”

tele•vise (tel′-ev-īz), v. and conj. to determine one’s current state. “I’m so drunk I can’t even televise happy or sad.”

ten•der•ize (ten′-der-īz), adj. and n. ocular organs that exude qualities of sympathy and gentleness. “Her face was mean, but she had tenderize.”

ten•e•ment (ten′-e-ment), n. and v. to intend an integer over nine and under eleven. “Did I say five? It was tenement.”

Ten•nes•see (ten′-e-sē), n. and v. wherein the speaker expresses that he or she visually perceives a thing or person that would earn the highest rating in a decimal system. “Ben said everyone here’s from Nashville, but you’re the only Tennessee.”

ten•sion (ten′-shen), n. mental focus. “My wife’s mad at me ’cause I don’t pay her no tension.”

ten•u•ous (ten′-yü-es), n. and v. a person’s state of being during a past period of life when their age in years, counting from moment of birth, fell between nine and eleven. “When you was tenuous eighty pounds—how in the world did you double that in a year and a half?!”

ter•race (te′-res), v. and pron. to pull apart something belong to a male. “As soon as she saw him she tried to terrace clothes off.”

ter•rain (te-rān′), prep. and n. indicating a change bringing the descent of water droplets from a mass of condensed vapor. “Those clouds could turn terrain any second, and this road’ll turn to mud.”

ter•ri•fy (ter′-ef-ī), v. and conj. to rip apart as a result of certain actions one might take. “My skirt’s so tight, I’m scared it’ll terrify bend over.”

TENSION

TESTAMENT

ter•ror (ter′-er), v. and adj. to rend or shred something from a woman, usually objects of adornment. “I couldn’t wait to get my wife back to the honeymoon suite so I could terror clothes off.”

tes•ta•ment (test′-e-ment), n. and v. a specific examination, indicated by the speaker’s intention. “When I told you I hope you pass the test, Darlene, that weren’t the testament.”

tes•ti•fy (test′-ef-ī), n. and conj. a written examination, in relation to certain actions one might take. “I would have studied harder for that testify had known it was for half our grade.”

ther•a•py (ther′-e-pē), adv. and n. a phrase connecting urination to a particular time or place. “Is therapy break anytime soon?”

this•tle (this′-el), n. and v. a prediction about a specific thing or event. “Thistle be easy!”

tick•le (tik′-el), n. and v. a prediction about the actions of a bloodsucking arachnid. “If you don’t use tweezers, that tickle be hard to get out.”

tie-dyed (tī′-dīd), n. and v. the expiration of a person named Tyler. “Ty liked to sleep on the train tracks. Then tie-dyed.”

Tif•fa•ny (tif′-en-ē), n. and conj. a fight, with an ensuing reaction by a male. “My dad and me had a Tiffany done cut me out of his will.”

tight (tī′-Ət), v. to unite or fasten a string, cord, or rope, usually in a knot or bow. “If you don’t want your shoe to come off, you can’t go and leave the lace undone like that, son. You’ve got to tight. And when you tight, you got to tight real tight.”

tile (tī′-Əl), n. and v. to predict the results of adorning oneself with a fashion accessory worn about the neck. “Heck, Bubba, this here tile get you into any fancy restaurant you want.”

TIE-DYED

TIRE

time (tīm′), v. and n. to fasten things together with a knot. “Don’t know what the hell’s wrong with my shoes, but I can’t seem to time.”

tippy (tip′-ē), n. extra money or gratuity paid in exchange for good service, as performed by a male. “You don’t give that waiter a tippy goes crazy.”

tire (tī′-er), v. and n. to restrain a female, as with ribbon, rope, or bungee cord. “I thought I told you to tire down!”

tis•sue (tish′-ü), adv. and n. a phrase wherein the speaker declares the singularity of the person being spoken to. “Tissue and me tonight, baby.”

ti•tan (tīt′-en), v. to make more secure. “Them giant pants wouldn’t fall down if you’d titan your belt up.”

TORTURE

tor•toise (trt′-es), v. and n. to have imparted knowledge or wisdom to a group. “That stupid teacher never tortoise nothin’.”

tor•ture (tr′-cher), n. and v. phrase concerning a person’s flame used for lighting a dark area. “I think there’s something wrong with that torture holding.”

touch•stone (tech′-stōn), v. and prep. to have broached. “You’ve done touchstone a sensitive subject.”

trac•tor (trakt′-er), v. and n. having traced, hunted, and found a female. “She ran, but the police tractor down.”

tram•po•line (tramp′-pel-lēn), n. and v. a prediction that a destitute person or sexually promiscuous woman will rest against a thing or person. “First that trampoline on ya—then she’ll steal your wallet.”

TOUCHSTONE

tra•peze (trap′-ēz), n. and v. a device for snaring or capturing prey, connected to a male. “If he misses the first trapeze gonna fall in the second one for sure.”

trem•or (trem′-er), v. and adj. to cut or shorten something belonging to a female. “I got all shook up when Cassie asked me to tremor back hair.”

trip (trip′), v. to forcibly tear apart. “First time I saw my wife I wanted trip her dress off and get busy.”

tri•ple (trip′-el), n. and v. a journey and its predicted result. “If you think Three Mile Island is a nice vacation spot, one triple change your mind.”

tsu•na•mi (s-nä′-mē), conj. and adv. indicating the reason for an action one is about to take. “My dang TV just broke, tsunami gotta go get a new one.”

TUNA

tuck•er (tek′-er), v. and adj. to neaten, by pulling something in or by placing one piece of clothing inside another, something of a female’s. “Tell her to tucker butt back into her shorts.”

tu•na (tün′-e), v. and adj. to adjust for proper functioning. “That boy don’t say much, but he sure can tuna TV right.”

tun•nel (ten′-el), n. and v. a prediction concerning something that weighs two thousand pounds. “When the waiter asked my wife how much chocolate sauce she wanted on her ice cream, I said a tunnel do.”

tur•bine (ter′-bīn), n. and v. regarding reaction to a monetary exchange by a female. “Just ’cause she’s a pretty lady, I got no objection turbine the next round.”

turn (tern′), v. to obtain deservedly. “You need to get the basketball through the hoop turn points.”

TUNNEL

tu•tor (tü′-ter), n. and prep. the consequence or effect of a pair of things. “One drink just gets her flirty … it takes tutor get the clothes off.”

twine (twīn), n. an alcoholic beverage made from fermented grapes. “‘Twas twine talkin’.”