A dam punched the wall nearest him and cursed savagely. How had things gotten so out of control? His hand throbbed, and as he surveyed the room he realized that he couldn’t stay here another minute. Every time he saw those candles and the rose petals he was reminded that his seduction had gone terribly wrong.
Why had the setup that had worked in the past failed him? Probably because Jayne wasn’t like every other woman who’d been in his life. She was so damn stubborn.
He knew what she wanted. In fact, if the burning in his gut was any indication, he already loved her. But he wasn’t saying the words out loud.
And he wasn’t marrying her. He couldn’t. He’d tried to make her understand that if she just waited a little longer, gave him time to adjust to having her in his life, he might be able to. But that wasn’t good enough for Jayne.
He sank into the armchair, gazing around the hotel suite, which was like so many others. But in the last ten days, Jayne had made this feel like home. She’d given him someone to share not just the business of his life with, but also the other things. The part that no one had ever been interested in before. Jayne actually cared that he loved being on the water, and had arranged for them to go sailing every afternoon, even though she was still afraid of the ocean.
But did that mean she would stay with him? Did that mean that once he married her she wouldn’t get bored and move on? And did that mean that he’d always want her in his life?
His fear was not that Jayne would leave him, he acknowledged. His real fear was that someday he’d leave her. And he couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting her that way.
Hell, he needed a drink. He grabbed a shirt from his closet and shoved his feet into a pair of loafers, heading out the door and straight for the bar.
His hand still throbbed, but he felt as if he deserved the pain. God knew it was less painful than the feelings deep in his gut, feelings that he refused to acknowledge came from Jayne’s leaving.
He ordered a glass of single malt and sat down at one of the deserted tables in the back of the smoky lounge. The band had long since finished their last set and the place was almost empty.
“Eh, compare, still celebrating?” Ray sat down across from him.
The waiter brought his drink, and Adam downed half the glass. “Bring me another.”
“Where’s Jayne?” Ray asked.
“I have no idea,” he stated. He could guess, though, and the images in his head made him want to get drunk so that he couldn’t see them anymore. He didn’t want to picture Jayne as he’d last seen her—face pale, tears glistening in her eyes. She’d run from him, and he cursed himself for making her go.
“Women problems?” Ray asked.
Adam sneered at the older man. “Not me. I’m the expert when it comes to relationships.”
Ray leaned back in his chair and reached in his pocket for a cigar. He lit it and then glanced around the room. “Don’t get me wrong, pal, but what kind of expert is sitting in a bar an hour before closing time, drinking alone?”
“Not much of one,” Adam said, downing the rest of his drink. He knew nothing when it came to women or relationships, which was probably why he’d lost the one woman he wanted to keep.
“Want to talk about it?” Ray asked, exhaling a thin veil of smoke.
“You really get into that father confessor thing?” Adam said with derision.
“Nah. It’s just that I’ve been there.”
“With Didi?” Adam asked. It would make him feel better to know that he wasn’t alone.
“No, not with her. I let someone else slip away because I didn’t realize that the love of the right woman can make a man stronger. You know, a better man.”
“Well, Jayne doesn’t see that. She can only see…” Adam didn’t know what Jayne saw when she looked at him. He suspected it was some romanticized version of him. But he’d bet his business that she didn’t any longer.
“What can she see?”
“That I’m not the kind of guy to give her what she wants in order to be happy,” Adam said at last. He toyed with his highball glass, rolling it in his palms.
“Oh, hell.”
“Listen, if you no longer want to sell me the resort, I’ll understand. You should know that I was setting you up from the beginning. Jayne was my assistant, not my mistress,” Adam said.
“But that changed.”
“Not for long,” he answered.
“This has nothing to do with the resort. Listen, you go after Jayne and talk to her.”
Adam wished it were that simple. But he wasn’t willing to lay his soul on the line for her. And she’d settle for nothing less. “She won’t listen to me.”
“You have to try,” Ray insisted.
“You’re taking this father confessor thing too seriously. It’s over between Jayne and me. The only thing left to do is move on.”
“Madon’, why the hell did I think this would be easy?” Ray said, stubbing his cigar out in the ashtray.
“What are you talking about?” Adam asked. What in blazes was he thinking, discussing this with a man who was nothing more to him than a business acquaintance?
“Look, compare, I’m not really a resort owner. I’m a matchmaker sent from heaven to make sure that you and Jayne fall in love.”
“Well, you screwed up,” Adam said, not believing what Ray said for a minute.
“You’re telling me! But you’re not leaving me any options here. If you won’t talk to her…”
Ray might be a little bit insane, Adam decided, flinching when the older man took his hand. Then, suddenly, the walls around them were spinning, and when they finally stopped he and Ray were outside a bar in New Orleans.
“This isn’t real.”
“Keep telling yourself that, compare,” Ray said.
“Why are we here?”
“I don’t know. This is the place you brought us to.”
Adam recognized the bar. He hadn’t been in there since the night of his divorce, when he’d gotten rip-roaring drunk. “Take me back to Perla Negra.”
“Not yet. Let’s go inside.”
Ray nudged him toward the door and Adam went in. He scanned the dimly lit interior and had no trouble finding himself seated at the bar. He looked so damn young and scared.
“Another round?” the bartender asked.
“Keep ’em coming,” the younger Adam said. He downed the glass of cheap whiskey. In those days he hadn’t been able to afford the good stuff.
“Here you go,” the bartender said.
“Thanks, man.”
When the bartender turned away, Adam stood and announced to the room in general, “From this moment on, I will not be a victim to women and their emotional traps.”
Glasses were raised in support, and the younger Adam sat back down and finished his drink.
The older Adam stared in shock. He’d built his life around a vow he’d made when he was twenty-one and not sure of himself, he realized at last. He knew what had happened the next day: he’d made a solid business plan and used the impetus of Susan leaving him to start Powell International. He’d worked hard for six months before he met Rhonda, his first mistress. He’d still been too raw to really want more than sex from a woman.
So they’d come up with an arrangement that had worked for both of them. And what had been a temporary stopgap in his relationships had become the norm.
In an instant, Adam found himself back at his table in the lounge at Perla Negra. Ray was nowhere to be seen, and Adam wondered if he hadn’t dreamed the entire episode. He rubbed his forehead. The liquor had given him a buzz. And something Jayne said kept echoing in his head.
Just because I love you doesn’t mean I don’t value myself.
Adam realized that he hadn’t been valuing either of them, but letting the past keep him in the dark.
He left the bar, hoping it wasn’t too late to find Jayne. The only chance either of them had for happiness was together, he was certain. He loved her, and not saying the words out loud didn’t keep him safe, it kept him out of the sunlight that was Jayne.
Jayne had asked the bellman to call her a cab. Waiting outside the resort, she refused to cry. She was angry at Adam and at herself. How could she have misjudged him?
But had she? She’d spent her entire life hiding from the men who scared her. She’d been engaged to Ben because he was safe and didn’t make her heart beat faster. Only now, looking back, did she acknowledge that his leaving her didn’t hurt as badly as this moment with Adam.
Was a ring really that big of a deal in the big scheme of things? Her heart said no. But having a family was. And not just for herself. Adam needed it, too. He needed to have his own children so he could shower them with that unconditional love that she knew was buried deep inside him.
Was she a coward for leaving like this?
“Jayne, thank God, I caught you.”
“I’m not going to change my mind,” she said softly.
Adam glowered at her and she felt the force of his determination. “Yes, you will. I’m going to convince you.”
“With another practiced seduction?” she asked sarcastically. She still ached from their last encounter, and she wasn’t sure she was up for another one.
He shoved his hands in his hair, looking almost frantic. Her heart beat a little faster as she realized that he’d come after her. Adam had never gone after any of his women before. He just moved on.
“No. That was a mistake.”
Her cab pulled up in the driveway and the driver got out. “You called for a taxi?”
“Yes. I’m going to the airport.”
“No, she’s not,” Adam stated.
“Yes I am.”
“Listen, it’s late, and I don’t want to sit here while you two fight it out,” the cabbie said.
Adam took some money from his pocket, shoved it at the cab driver and said, “You’re free to go.”
As the man got back in his car and drove away, Jayne glared at Adam. She hated that he thought he could use his money to arrange life to suit him.
“Come with me,” he said to her.
“Not now. When you get home, come to my place and we can talk.”
“Forget that,” he said. Reaching out, he lifted her over his shoulder, then snagged her bag in one hand.
“Put me down!”
“No.”
She struggled and he smacked her butt with the flat of his hand. “Stay still, dammit.”
He stalked through the nearly empty lobby. Jayne stopped struggling and instead fought the urge to wrap her arms around his waist. She didn’t want to leave, and it seemed he didn’t want her to go.
He set her on her feet once they were in their room. She stared up at him, not recognizing this man. There was something in Adam’s eyes she’d never seen before. Something that looked like…love.
He took her face in both of his hands and lowered his head, whispering something against her lips. Tracing them with the tip of his tongue, he deepened the kiss when she opened her mouth. She sighed, lifting her hands to his chest.
She didn’t want to live the rest of her life without Adam. Tears started falling, and Adam brushed them away with tender fingertips.
“Don’t cry, chère. Don’t cry.”
He rocked her in his arms, and she knew that she’d stay no matter what he offered this time. And that hurt her deep inside, because she’d always believed that someday she’d meet a man who’d want her for herself and want all of her.
“I love you.”
She stared up at him, sure she hadn’t heard him correctly. “I don’t need the words.”
“Really? I think you do. And I know you deserve them.”
“Adam, I’ve only been gone thirty minutes. How can you love me?”
“I saw the light, and it was a scary experience. I’ll tell you about it later. I think I’ve loved you all along, Jayne.”
“I want to believe you,” she said.
“But you don’t. Hell, don’t leave me again, chère. If you go, I’ll become the hard shell of a man that you think I am now.
“I need you, Jayne. You make me a better man and I think I make you a better woman. You shouldn’t have run away from me.”
“I couldn’t stay. I was afraid.”
“Well, you don’t have to be anymore. No more hiding for you, Jayne.”
“Do you mean it? Because if you changed your mind—”
“I was afraid of that, too. But I can’t change my mind. Woman, you own me heart and soul.”
She swallowed against the tears burning the back of her eyes. This time they were tears of joy, for she knew that Adam didn’t say things he didn’t mean. If Adam committed himself to her, he’d stay with her.
And there was no mistaking the love shining from his eyes.
“I love you,” she said at last.
“I love you, too. And I always will.”
He lifted her in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He settled her in the center of the big bed and then reached into the nightstand drawer for something.
It was a long, narrow jeweler’s box. “I ordered this for you. It’s not traditional, but then, neither are we.”
He piled the pillows against the headboard and sat back against them, then pulled her onto his lap. He held her loosely in his embrace while he removed the sapphire tennis bracelet from the black velvet case. He fastened the clasp around her wrist.
“We’re getting married,” he said.
“You’re not asking me?”
“Do I really need to?”
“Yes,” she said. She wanted to have a really good story to tell her grandkids one day. Though it’d be hard to top him carrying her through the lobby over his shoulder.
“Will you marry me?”
She wriggled her eyebrows at him. “Only if I can call you stud muffin.”
He groaned. “Okay.”
Her heart felt incredibly light and she turned on his lap, wrapping her arms around him. “I can’t wait to be your wife.”
He took control of their embrace and they didn’t talk for a long time as clothing was hastily discarded and they sealed their vows of love and commitment with their bodies.
Afterward Adam curled himself around her and held her fiercely in his embrace. They talked of the future and of their dreams for their life together. Jayne realized that Perla Negra had worked its magic and she’d found her heart’s desire.