“Judge, you have to sign in.” The police guard stepped in front of the hospital door as Michelle tried to make her way around him. “Judge? Judge?” he looked back and saw Keithe follow his wife, along with their attorney. Reading between the lines, the policeman released his persistent tone.
While still in the hospital room and in her own recovery, Michelle had known what her heart wanted to do, but she still couldn’t take any chances just doing as she pleased. A lot had happened over the decades, and her prestigious title of judge had made many people try their best to corner her into a lawsuit.
After spilling her feelings to Keithe and accepting God back into her life, it was as if Michelle was a very different person. Outwardly, Michelle had seemed to have a breakdown, but in actuality, she had encountered an inward release of peace she now displayed.
“I want her. I want to see my daughter,” she had announced while still in her hospital room. They were the first words of release she sprang at Keithe, who had not left her side. Showing signs of being physically weak, Michelle knew she was only drowsed because of her conversation with God. Before she lost the nerve, or the enemy snuck back in to her life, Michelle spat out instructions for Keithe to contact their lawyer and start the process of seeing her daughter.
Hard on his wife’s heels, Keithe made sure he was there every step of the way. Not just with the reunion between Michelle and her daughter, but with her walk with God. Inwardly proud of all that had taken place, Keithe knew a changed person when he saw one, and was proud that his wife was that person.
Michelle had been devastated and hurt, and felt she had been left to fend for herself. In reality she was, but not even her mother could be at fault. Mentally her mother had checked out of her responsibilities. In doing so, Michelle physically checked out of being her mother’s help when her mother needed her most. Not healing from the pain many years ago, she repeated and passed the same wound to Stoney. But God.
On the short ride over to the hospital across town, Keithe found the opportunity to minister more to his wife about how God could restore, renew, and revive. It was right there, on the car ride over, when Michelle repeated the sinner’s prayer and charged her life back over to the Lord. It was then that Keithe announced his decision to stick by her side as long as she wanted him to. No condemnation would come from him. Michelle simply nodded her agreement toward her husband of almost sixteen years. Riding the streets with one hand in Keithe’s and a handkerchief in the other, Michelle showed that she was a changed woman.
Once the officer moved to the side, Michelle eased open the door and walked in. Looking back, Keithe could tell she wanted time by herself. Understanding, he planted himself by the door. Seeing Vicky and Mike down the hall, Keithe and his lawyer made their way toward the two.
Stoney, a bit dazed from medication given for anxiety, blinked uncontrollably when she focused on who had entered her room. Taking a deep breath, Stoney’s chest swelled and so did her eyes, which were full of tears. Reaching for the bed’s controller, she sat tall, not knowing if Michelle had come in peace or to continue what had transpired earlier. When she saw somberness placed on Michelle’s face, Stoney relaxed.
That was what she had wanted. For all she’d ever dreamed of in life, the moment that had just passed was all she wanted: for her mother, Michelle, to walk into her life. And just like that, after the fighting, the pill popping, all of the searching, Michelle walked right into her daughter’s life.
“I didn’t know who you were,” Michelle let out in a hard breath. She walked with authority until she reached Stoney’s bed. “I had no clue. I thought…” she looked back at the door, reminding herself that Keithe was on the other side. She declined to unbury her thought of Stoney being Keithe’s mistress.
With her eyes landing on Stoney’s eyes, Michelle made sure she spoke from her heart. “I am sorry.” She hunched her shoulders. “Until a few hours ago, I’ve been lost.” She told herself not to be embarrassed, but to just speak from her heart. “I’ve been torturing myself for decades, trying to forget you, trying to forget all about my mama. You should hate me, just like everyone else probably does. Just like my mama probably does.” Michelle wondered about her mother.
“I dropped you off. Ugh,” she said, remembering the day vividly. “I literally dropped you off with my mother. Because…” she sat on a small portion of the hospital bed to regain her composure. “Because I was a coward, because I had messed up lives, and I knew in the end I’d mess up yours. But look what I’ve done.” Michelle grabbed Stoney’s free hand in her own. “I messed it up anyway.”
“But you’re here,” was the first thing Stoney spoke since Michelle had entered into the room. “You are here, for me. And you want to be,” she stated with crunched eyebrows. “I just wanted to be with you. Every day I’d wake up I wanted you. Every minute I wanted you to come back and get me, tell me you made a mistake.” Michelle leaned in and Stoney moved forward for their first embrace.
Not releasing her hold, Michelle said, “I did. I made a mistake. When I drove off I knew I’d made a mistake, but I was caught up in a world that I’d made for myself,” she figured she had to tell her. Sitting up, Michelle went on. “For the record, Stoney, I love you. I mean it, I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”
Unable to talk, or respond in the manner she wanted, Stoney held her mother tight.
After the two calmed down from their meeting, which was long overdue, Michelle felt it necessary to keep going. “I’ve done a lot of wrong, Stoney.” Michelle shook her head. “I had dated your dad. I…I thought we’d one day get married because we cared about each other. But it didn’t last.”
“You know who my dad is?” Stoney asked. When Michelle nonverbally answered yes, Stoney asked, “Do you know where he is?”
“I do.” Shamefully, Michelle tilted her head to the side and gazed into the eyes of her daughter. Michelle could see where her daughter resembled her father. In the slight smile Stoney had finally released, Michelle could see that the small rings that widened her smile were given by her father as well.
“And you know him too, Stoney.”
Confused, Stoney tilted her own head, allowing her smile to disappear. “I do? who is he?”