Nicholas Bell (l) with Fiona Choi (r).
(Sān gè héshàng méi shuǐ hē.)
Three monks have no water to drink.
The image it’s supposed to paint
Three monks
Or, three holy men, I don’t assume to—
Three holy men are carrying a bucket of water
Together
Up the side of a mountain
But because they’re all trying to carry it,
To equally bear the weight of it
They spill it
All of it
And so … they have no water to drink
The English equivalent, I suppose, is something like
‘Too many cooks spoil the …’
Right
But
You can see it’s not really the same thing
It’s not the same thing at all
JULIE: (to Richard) We’ll need to file a notice of Appeal.
RICHARD: Jules.
JULIE: I think it’s worth getting some heavy-hitters, some folks who are big in the federal circuit, ’cause you know ONYS will be doing the same.
RICHARD: Jules, Jules—will you just stop? We’re not going to Appeals.
JULIE: What?
RICHARD: He’s on a flight back to China. Jules, it’s over. We lost. You understand? We lost.
Beat.
JULIE: Then we’ll get someone else.
RICHARD: Jesus, Jules.
JULIE: What, you think there aren’t more people in China affected by this, people won’t wanna speak out? Because everyone in China is affected by this, Rich. Every single Chinese citizen. You know the kinda shit they’re doing now? AI censors, banning Wikipedia, a fucking social credit system? It’s getting worse not better, okay, we can’t just stop fighting this just because one Dallas jury—
RICHARD: Jesus, Jules, are you even listening to yourself? You couldn’t get anyone, remember? Most people in China, they couldn’t give two shits about any of this! Dao was your guy, okay? And you fucked it up!
JULIE: My sister fucked it up!
RICHARD: Eva didn’t hound our client until he broke down on the stand, Eva sure as hell didn’t turn down a twenty-million dollar settlement! (beat) Jane told me.
JULIE: You went to Bollman behind / my back?
RICHARD: For God’s—it’s not behind your back, I’m your co-counsel, and you went behind my back when you opted not to disclose the fact that defense had offered us a revised figure at the eleventh hour, the figure we were purportedly aiming for, the figure we should have fucking accepted!
JULIE: How many times do I have to tell you it’s not about the fucking money!
RICHARD: Then what the hell is it about, Jules? Tell me what it’s about!
JULIE: It’s about letting them know someone’s watching! It’s about letting them know they can’t just get away with it! It’s about showing them that the internet isn’t just some, some autonomous entity—
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) I don’t claim to interpret.
JULIE:—it’s not just this nebulous amoral thing, hovering around in the ether—
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) Is that helpful?
JULIE:—the internet is people! It’s people building things! And those people are causing other people immense fucking suffering!
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) Am I helping you?
RICHARD: Who are we showing, Jules? The jury? The Chinese? Who? ONYS? You think this’ll make ’em think twice about, what, their, their corporate governance? You know what might have accomplished that, Jules? Making ’em pay twenty million dollars for their sins! That might’ve accomplished something! (beat) You know the worst part of all this, Jules? I don’t think you have the faintest idea what you’re doing it for. Me, at least I’m honest about why I’m in this game, I’m in it for the money. But you? I don’t think you give a damn about China, or the CCP, or ONYS. I don’t think you could give two shits about the Golden Shield. And I think Evie, I think she’s way off the mark on this one, I don’t think this is some kind of warped revenge plot, no, deep down, Julie, this is just about wanting to win. And you’ll step on anyone to get there.
JULIE: She told you about our—she barely knows you.
RICHARD: Actually, she knows me quite well. (beat) Eva’s known me quite well for … for about four years.
A long beat.
EVA: (on the phone) Heyyy, so you wouldn’t happen to be in D.C. and down for a fuck, would you?
AMANDA: Uh, ha, no, I’m in Sydney, where it is a wildly inappropriate time for a booty call.
EVA: Right. Sorry.
AMANDA: But thank you for the charming offer.
EVA: Any time.
AMANDA: Are you okay?
EVA: Not really, no.
AMANDA: I’m sorry. Is it the trial?
EVA: I’m not at the trial. And I’m drunk.
AMANDA: Okay. Did something happen?
RICHARD: Oh, and while you’re being morally affronted about—about a business arrangement between two consenting / adults—
JULIE: That’s my fucking sister, Rich.
RICHARD:—would you ask yourself if it’s any more exploitative than what you just did to Li up there on that stand? (beat) The thing is, what I’ll do for money, what Eva will do for money: that has its limits. What you’ll do in the name of righteousness … I just don’t know anymore, Julie. I honestly don’t.
EVA: So I just had this, like, epiphany, and I was, like, oh my god, I have to tell Amanda, she’ll totally love this, so, like, I had this epiphany that the reason why I’m good at translating—the reason I’m supposed to be good at translating, anyway—is the same reason I’m good at fucking people for money. Because in both cases, right, people are, like, paying me, essentially, to not have my own thoughts. I’m just this like this empty fucking … conduit. For other people’s … bullshit. And actually the world would be much better off if I was just like—like if I was just a mouth and a cunt.
AMANDA: No it wouldn’t.
EVA: Really? Cuz I’d be pretty, like, portable. Long-distance wouldn’t be a problem. You could put me in your hand luggage.
AMANDA: Look, as you know, I’m a big fan of both your mouth and your cunt. But I am also a big fan of you as a thinking human being. (beat) I don’t want you to be a conduit, Evie.
THE TRANSLATOR: Oh.
AMANDA: I mean in an ideal world, you’d just be you, and I’d be me, and we’d be … us … and conduits can get fucked.
THE TRANSLATOR: Oh.
AMANDA: And I am fully aware of the irony of saying that down a phone line. (beat) Evie? You still there?
EVA: (crying) That’s a really fucking nice thing to say.
AMANDA: Occupational hazard, I’m afraid. Activist. Nice by trade.
LARRY: Cheers.
MARSHALL: Mazel tov.
EVA: So … How ‘bout it?
AMANDA: How about … what? (beat, laughing) Phone sex?
EVA: Or, I dunno. Something more … involved.
AMANDA: You wanna incorporate toys?
EVA: No, like. Fuck, I’m bad at this.
Beat.
AMANDA: Oh. I mean, we live on different … continents.
EVA: Yeah, but, come on. It’s the digital age.
AMANDA: I just hadn’t even considered that. With you. Because of, like, what you do.
EVA: Oh.
AMANDA: Yeah.
EVA: Is it a problem for you?
AMANDA: I mean, in like a hypothetical realm, no, but in a, um, in a personal realm, I think, yeah, it might be a problem.
LARRY: Poor bastard.
MARSHALL: Can’t get into that line of thinking. Onward and upwards.
LARRY: Hey, no, I’m appreciative of the outcome here, just, you know, he’s uh, he’s a poor bastard.
MARSHALL: We’re all poor bastards. It’s a question of scale.
EVA: Forget it.
AMANDA: No, hey—
EVA: I’m gonna hang up now.
AMANDA: Don’t.
EVA: It’s not, uh—I—
AMANDA: Can we just—fuck, let’s just back up, okay? Let’s talk about it.
AMANDA: As in, you say why you do it. I’ll say why I have a problem with it. And then, like, we’ll see. (beat) How about I go first? / I’m afraid your job means I can only think of a relationship as a series of transactions.
THE TRANSLATOR: I’m afraid your job means you can only think of a relationship as a series of transactions.
Beat.
EVA: Oh. (beat) I’m doing it because it’s how I make money. Which is necessary. Money is necessary. (beat) / I’m doing it because it’s easier than failing at something else.
THE TRANSLATOR: I’m doing it because it’s easier than failing at something else.
AMANDA: Okay. (beat) See, that wasn’t so hard.
MARSHALL: Four hundred percent.
LARRY: Huh?
EVA: That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
MARSHALL: We made the internet four hundred percent faster for 1.4 billion people. Where’s the conversation about that? Huh? Where’s our fucking accolades for that?
LARRY: You don’t have to / convince—
MARSHALL: If you went up to any guy on the street, any guy, out in Guangzhou or fucking Shanghai, you said to them, hey, mister, we can either make your wifi four times faster or reduce online censorship, you know which one they’d pick? Maybe some knuckles get bruised, maybe a terrorist loses his legs, but four times faster, for you and your eight fucking kids and their eight fucking kids, you know which one they’d pick?
LARRY: Marsh. We won.
MARSHALL: I’m just saying. Efficiency is good. Efficiency is a public fucking good. I don’t appreciate being treated like a fucking villain for improving the lives of a billion fucking people, just because people are too fucking stupid to understand what it is we do. Censorship will always exist in China. All we did is we made it four times faster. (beat) You think I’m a villain, Larry?
LARRY: Nah, man.
MARSHALL: You can tell me if you do. I don’t give a shit. Maybe I am a fucking villain. I don’t know.
Beat.
LARRY: Marsh, look. Would we do it the same way, doing it over? Maybe, maybe not. But a decade on, we’re a net good in China, you know? I mean, Google, Yahoo, they couldn’t cut it in China, but we could. And we’re a net good. And that’s something to proud of, you know? That’s a reason to celebrate.
MARSHALL: You’ve changed your fucking tune.
LARRY: Have I?
MARSHALL: I mean time was, you were reining me in, voicing your moral fucking scruples.
LARRY: Yeah, well. That was 2006. I mean, you were right, Marsh. I couldn’t see at the time but … this is the way it’s heading.
MARSHALL: What way is that?
LARRY: Decentralization. I mean, that’s the future, right? Blockchain, universal wifi, it’s all headed that way. And it’s not gonna mean decentralization of power. Power’s always gonna be centralized. But it won’t be the Chinese government. It won’t be any government. It’s gonna be us. We’ll have the power, Marsh. So we just gotta use it for good. And for the most part, Marsh, I think we really do. For the most part, I think … I think, all things considered, within reason … I think we’re doing a good job.
Beat.
MARSHALL: You’re smarter than you let on, you know that, Larry?
LARRY: I’m just drunk, man.
Beat.
MARSHALL: I’ve been a dick to you.
LARRY: Nah, man.
MARSHALL: This isn’t an apology. It’s just an acknowledgement, okay? It’s what makes me good at what I do, but it doesn’t change the fact that I … I’m a dick.
LARRY: Hey. (raising his glass) Water under the bridge.
MARSHALL: / Water under the bridge.
THE TRANSLATOR: 事过境迁 (Shìguòjìngqiān).
Beat.
LARRY: And seeing as it’s, like, water under the bridge and all, uh, would this be the appropriate moment to tell you that, uh, when I, uh, photocopied the contract for the board meeting, I may or may not have, it was so long ago, who really knows, but I may have, uh, left the, uh, original in the photocopier? (beat) Would this be a good moment to tell you that?
Beat.
EVA: How’s the new practice?
JULIE: It’s shit. Soulless corporate shit. (beat) Honestly, it’s a relief. (beat) How’s tricks? (beat) Sorry, I shouldn’t—
EVA: It’s what I do, so. Tricks are … fine.
Beat.
JULIE: You know you / could always—
EVA: Jules, why’d you call? What is this?
Beat.
JULIE: So, if you were still thinking about law school—
JULIE:… okay, anyway, one of the first legal concepts you get taught is intractability. Intractable disputes. Like, that sometimes a dispute’s just so convoluted, or the implications are so far-reaching, it’s just totally beyond arbitration. And the best thing you can do is just … quit. But I’ve always been like, fuck intractability, you know? Because nothing should be too big, too messy, too ugly, for the law. That’s what the law’s for. And I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I think … I think family is the same. Like even when it feels broken, there has to be a way. You know? Because that’s just … that’s what family is. Family can’t be intractable.
EVA: Oh.
JULIE: So couldn’t we—I don’t know—could we find a way? To be family? (beat) Because we went through it together. Like we have this ocean of shit, decades of shit, and no-one will ever understand, and even if we tried to explain it, it wouldn’t mean what it does, to us, you know? Because it’s you and me, Evie. It’s our history.
Beat.
EVA: Yeah, I’m just … I’m just not sure that having, like, shared trauma with someone is a particularly good reason to keep having a relationship. (beat) You don’t even like me.
JULIE: Of course I do.
EVA: Okay, well, honestly, Jules, I don’t like you.
Beat.
JULIE: We don’t have to like each other. Families don’t like each other. They, you know.
Beat.
THE TRANSLATOR: (out) Love is an interesting construct, linguistically. Lots of languages have multiple words for love: Romantic. Familial. Carnal. Interestingly enough, in both Mandarin and English, there’s only really one word. And it’s pretty much all-encompassing. 爱 (ai) is both past and future. Love is a circle and a line.
Mei enters, with a bag.
She dusts a table.
Dao enters.
Mei looks up.
THE TRANSLATOR: That’s, uh, something like, ‘well’.
Mei scratches her ear.
THE TRANSLATOR: That’s ‘I couldn’t stand living with my brother’s wife.’
Yi Jin.
Dao gives the slightest nod, and turns away.
THE TRANSLATOR: That’s ‘I’ve been destroyed.’
Mei puts her bag down.
THE TRANSLATOR: That’s ‘I’ll stay.’
Mei places a hand on his shoulder.
THE TRANSLATOR: Uh … I think that’s a, uh, a blanket expression of care.
Dao places his hand on Mei’s hand.
THE TRANSLATOR: This one I don’t think I can … it’s somewhere between ‘I need you’ and ‘there is no recovering from this’.
Mei kneels.
THE TRANSLATOR: That one …
Mei kisses Dao on the forehead.
THE TRANSLATOR: Not sure. Maybe ‘I’m afraid.’
Mei kisses Dao on his eyelids.
THE TRANSLATOR: No, that’s not …
Dao kisses Mei’s hands.
THE TRANSLATOR: Hm.
Dao kisses Mei’s eyelids.
THE TRANSLATOR: I’m not really sure.
EVA: Is this what you actually want, Jules? Like, do you actually want a relationship with me? Or is this just about doing the right thing? (beat) Because you don’t always have to do the right thing, you know.
JULIE: Yeah, I do.
Beat.
JULIE: So, what? We just quit? At being family?
EVA: I don’t know. Maybe.
Beat.
JULIE: But I feel like … we’re … tangled up.
EVA: Yeah.
JULIE: So that might be … harder.
EVA: Yeah.
JULIE: And maybe if we just … developed a system, or boundaries, for communicating, then … that would … help.
Beat.
EVA: I don’t think so.
Beat.
JULIE: Oh.
Eva picks up her coat.
EVA: I guess …
THE TRANSLATOR: Talk to her.
JULIE: Yeah.
THE TRANSLATOR: Talk to her.
Eva leaves.
END OF PLAY.
Sarah Goodes (director) with Sophie Ross in the background.
Alice Qin (assistant director) with Sarah Goodes in the background.
