‘SO,’ SHE said as they walked up the street. ‘Where were you headed?’ He was dressed up for the outdoors, his briefcase in his hand.
‘Back to my parents’ house. I’ve been staying with them since I arrived back on Friday. Wow. I can’t believe I’ve only been back in the country for three days.’
‘Still jet-lagged?’
‘It’s almost gone. How about you?’
‘I got back on Thursday so I’ve had an extra day to sleep.’
‘When did you start work?’
‘Early this morning. Whoever did the roster definitely has a sense of humour. “Let’s welcome Beth back by putting her on call on her first day.” Yeah. Real funny,’ she growled as they continued up the street.
‘Where’s this restaurant? It’s freezing out here.’
Beth laughed. ‘We’re a pair. Both of us coming from the northern hemisphere summer to the Australian winter.’
‘One day sunshine and the next freezing cold. Not fair,’ he agreed.
Beth laughed again and the sound warmed him. He wished he knew what it was about this woman that made him react this way because he’d really like to stop it if he could.
‘Round the corner and we’re there.’
Three minutes later, they’d shed their coats and were seated at a table near the fireplace. Slowly, during dinner, they both thawed out and although the conversation was on general topics, Beth was glad he’d dropped the sir from his personae. Still, she was curious about it.
‘So what’s it like? Being knighted, I mean?’ She stirred her coffee.
‘All pomp and ceremony. Kneel, tap on the shoulder.’ He shrugged nonchalantly. ‘It was nice pomp, but I never asked for it.’
‘The knighthood? No. They don’t usually hand them out willy-nilly and most certainly never if you ask.’She snapped her fingers in mock disappointment. ‘Now I know my mistake. I guess I shouldn’t have sent all those emails asking when it was my turn.’
He smiled at her teasing but didn’t say any more.
‘Come on,’ she prompted. ‘You can’t leave me hanging like that. I’ve read some of the papers you’ve written…not your thesis. That’s on my to-be-read pile but I mean, what initially inspired you to invent the new technique for microsurgical reattachment of limbs and the instruments to do it with?’
Ryan looked at her for a moment, wondering whether she was really interested in the medical details or whether she was more interested in his knighthood. Since he’d received it, many women, including Geraldine, had thrown themselves at him…and he’d been disgusted. Why couldn’t a woman like him for who he was, rather than the medical breakthroughs he’d made? Then again, shouldn’t he give Beth the benefit of the doubt? Not all women were like Geraldine.
‘Being in the field—’
‘A war zone?’
‘Yes, or an area where there aren’t a lot of medical supplies, you learn to improvise. It’s just part and parcel of the job. What I hadn’t counted on was the number of amputations. The statistics are about three to one.’
‘So every third person has lost part of a limb.’ Beth nodded. She’d read his papers, as she’d said, but hearing it from him, the emotion in his tone made everything more real, more tangible and she was right there with him.
‘Yes. Most times the only course of action is to amputate the limb and then rehabilitate. It made me wonder whether we couldn’t work at reattaching the limbs in some way to save as many limbs as we could, but without the latest equipment and trained staff there didn’t seem to be much hope.’
‘But you provided that hope.’
‘It was an illogical conclusion that worked. Creating a new instrument, which I made by pulling apart several broken ones and blending them together, miraculously worked. The theory was there and I was able to prove the theory correct.’
‘What do you mean by an illogical conclusion?’
‘It wasn’t medically or scientifically possible, but the human body works in mysterious ways and we as doctors only understand a portion of what the vessels we live in are capable of.’
‘So your gamble paid off.’
‘Basically, yes.’
‘And you feel a fraud for receiving a knighthood for that?’
Ryan almost choked on his mouthful of coffee. How could she know that? Did she see it in him? Sense it in him?
‘You shouldn’t,’ she continued. ‘Some of the best medical breakthroughs have been discovered by accident. Take penicillin, for example. What matters, Ryan, is that you had the guts to try something different. The fact that it worked is a bonus.’
‘Hmm.’
‘You like to play down the fact that you’ve done something brilliant.’
‘That’s just the point. I haven’t done anything brilliant. My only thought was to help other people—most doctors do that. I’d become impatient with the way things were done, devised a new way of doing it and received a knighthood for it. That doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Fair? I think it’s very fair.And what about all those people out there? The ones who are walking around with two legs instead of one because of what you had the guts to try? I’m sure they’d think differently.’
‘I’m a doctor, Beth. I help people. That’s why I became a doctor. I wanted to help people, to make them better. Isn’t that why you became a doctor?’
‘Yes, but let’s face it, Ryan, some doctors are better than others, regardless of their motivations.’
‘Motivations such as money?’
‘It’s true that some people go into medicine for the money they can make, which, when you think what’s involved in obtaining a medical degree, doesn’t make sense…well, not to me but you’re not one of that type of doctor.’
‘You’ve got that straight.’ Ryan drained his coffee and pushed the cup away as a picture of Geraldine flashed through his mind. He could never understand why she’d even pursued medicine as she didn’t have a nurturing bone in her body. At first he’d been amused by the way she’d complained about studying all the time and the long hours and, in actual fact, he’d truly believed she’d just been complaining, but somewhere along the line her focus had changed and she’d honestly started hating her job. What she’d liked, though, had been the money and the more she’d made, the more shallow she’d become.
Beth raised her eyebrows at his tone. ‘There’s more to this than you’re telling me.’
‘How very astute of you, Dr Durant.’
‘Are you going to tell me?’
‘I hardly know you.’
‘Hello? Isn’t talking to someone about your past how you get to know them? Come on, take a chance. Share.’
‘Share?’
‘Ryan, you don’t make comments such as that without having the emotional scars to go with them.’
He thought for a moment before deciding to let Beth in…just a little. ‘Her name was Geraldine. More interested in money than helping people.’
‘Why did she become a doctor, then?’
‘It’s what her father wanted.’
Beth remained silent, watching as Ryan looked away, and she knew he was taking a trip into the past. The question was, would he take her with him?
‘She went into neurosurgery.’
‘Ah, yes. Money to be made in neurosurgery,’ Beth agreed.
‘Her father was very wealthy and influential and all her life she’d known she was expected to go into medicine. Even at university, she struggled. It’s how we met. She needed a tutor and as I was a year ahead, doing my final year…’ He shrugged, as though that made perfect sense. ‘We became friends, then started dating and for a while everything was great. She was the one. I was in love and everything seemed set to follow the normal course of action.’
‘Then things changed?’
‘I graduated, started working and began earning my own money. For some reason, that bothered her. Years later, I realised that even though her father was providing everything she needed, he was also controlling her. To her, making money meant freedom from her father.’
‘Hindsight.’
‘The problem was, she never seemed to make enough money. Then she turned her sights on me and demanded I do more courses so that I could earn more money.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘I watched her change and there was nothing I could do about it. I was helpless and then she turned her venom on me.’ He shrugged. ‘And that’s all there was to it…until we met up again a few years back and I made exactly the same mistakes all over again.’
‘But she did rip your heart out, didn’t she?’
Ryan nodded once and met her gaze. ‘Twice.’ He exhaled slowly, glad it no longer hurt to discuss his past. It had actually felt good telling Beth about Geraldine, even though he’d revealed a little more than he’d planned. Leaning forward a little, he said, ‘And what about you?’
‘What about me?’
‘Are you a card-carrying member of the “I’ve had my heart ripped out” club?’
Beth laughed. ‘Find me someone who isn’t.’
‘Is that a yes?’
‘That’s a yes.’
‘Details?’
‘He was an A and E registrar. He was very dedicated to his work, a perfectionist, which is great in the professional field but sometimes not so good in private life.’Beth chose her words carefully. ‘He had a picture in his head of the perfect life—career, wife, 2.5 children, white picket fence.’ She shrugged. ‘I thought I’d hit the jackpot. Here was a man who was interested in a lifelong commitment and who professed to love me. I was in seventh heaven and then, when it came to crunch time, he…’ She swallowed uneasily. ‘He decided that I didn’t quite fit his perfect picture after all. He left.’
‘That’s it?’
‘More or less.’
‘And so your new standard-dating regime was born?’
Beth tried to laugh but it turned into a sigh. ‘Basically.’
‘Hence the reason so many men seem quite happy you’re back at the hospital.’
‘I guess, although now I’m not interested in it any more. America was good for me. It let me get away, start a clean slate in some respects.’
‘Did you speed-date there?’
‘No, and now that I’m back, as I said, I’m just not interested in trying to find Mr Right.’
‘That’s a pity.’
Beth felt tingles ripple over her skin at his words and her mouth went dry. She swallowed. ‘It is?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
His gaze intensified and he lowered his voice. ‘Because there’s this amazing chemistry between us, Beth. It was there the first time we met at the Christmas dinner you organised.’
‘I didn’t organise it. I suggested it. Big difference. Besides, you were mean to me.’
‘I was annoyed with you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you were having more fun than I was.’
She laughed incredulously. ‘What? When?’
‘When boring old Richard was making his speech. You and Tristan were sharing your own private joke.’
Beth thought back and nodded. ‘Yes, we were. So that’s what made you narky.’
‘I wasn’t…narky—whatever that means.’
‘It means getting your nose out of joint.’
He thought for a moment. ‘Well, in that case, yes, I was.’ He reached out and took her hand in his and the warmth immediately spread up her arm and exploded throughout her body. ‘You looked incredible. That dress you wore…’ He shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, a vision of Beth dressed in the shimmering burgundy outfit coming easily to his mind. Ryan opened his eyes. ‘And there you were, looking amazing and sexy and sharing a joke with Tristan.’
‘But we’re just friends.’
‘I didn’t know that then.’
‘I did. It’s still there, Beth.’
‘The narkiness?’ She smiled.
‘The attraction,’ he clarified firmly.
She sighed again. ‘I know.’
‘Yet neither of us likes to date colleagues and we’ve both had our hearts ripped out in the past.’
‘Which makes it almost impossible for us to take a step out in faith and trust someone else with them.’
‘Correct. So what do we do?’
Beth thought for a moment and reluctantly removed her hand from his. ‘It’s easy. You look for another job and we both see a cardiologist.’
Ryan stared at her for a long moment before he realised she was using dry humour as a cover-up. ‘You’re sassing me, right?’
She smiled. ‘Duh.’
‘Duh? You were in America too long.’
Beth was glad they seemed to be back on a more level footing, the tension easing between them. ‘But I’m glad to be home.’
‘Sydney’s home for you?’
‘Yep. I’m a Sydney girl. My parents live here but they’re travelling at the moment.’
‘Are you staying in their house?’
‘No. They’ve been travelling for the past four months so they rented their house out. At the moment, I’m at the hotel with Natalie.’
‘Ah, of course. All the wedding preparations and bridesmaid’s duties to do.’
‘Oh.’ She hit herself in the head. ‘You’re the best man, aren’t you? How could I have forgotten that?’
‘I have no idea, but I do know one of my main responsibilities for the entire ceremony is to look after the bridesmaid.’
‘Oh? Well…that would be me.’
Ryan didn’t reply but smiled at her, the smile that made her heartbeat increase, her palms perspire and her body turn to a mass of jelly. Her gaze meshed with his and the tension levels tripled from what they’d been before. The blue of his eyes was dark and intense, even more so in the flickering firelight. She swallowed, realising this thing between them was moving along a lot faster than she’d anticipated and soon she would have Ryan all to herself at the wedding.
Did she want that?
Of course, came the immediate answer, but only if he stayed as he was now, relaxed and happy. It was bad enough trying to deal with his mercurial moods at the hospital, she didn’t want to have to worry about that on Natalie and Marty’s big day. Then again, when he was in ‘Sir Ryan’mode, he was less irresistible and charming and more annoying and frustrating.
Either way, she’d already discovered she wasn’t as immune to him as she’d thought, in which case, did she have any hope of survival?