Chapter Twenty-Four

A wild, unrehearsed, unfamiliar rhythm beat within Brenden’s chest as he eased Paige into the back seat of the waiting car. He pondered the overwhelming sensation, realizing he had actually felt it twice before. The first time, the day Paige walked away from him. The second time, less than an hour ago when he watched her cross the stage to the podium debuting a curve-defining sapphire dress.

Paige created these unsteady rhythms in his heart that teetered between life and death. There was no way he could live without her, which was why it hurt for her to show hesitation in taking his hand after she had been so fucking chummy with another man.

Brenden slid into the back seat, then issued a string of instructions to the driver. Silence stretched between them as they journeyed away from Providence. Each time he glanced over, she was looking out the window or checking her phone, anything to avoid him.

Until his Q8 beeped.

For the first time since they had gotten in the car, their eyes met. Now he saw what she had been hiding. Behind that beautiful face and electric smile she had worn during her presentation was pain. He was the bastard who’d put it there.

Her line of sight went to his wrist before she completely turned her back on him. He cursed the blasted device for beeping once again before viewing the incoming message. Tension fell away from his body, seeing it was only his boys checking in on him. With so many emotions strumming the pain of his heart, he found it impossible to respond.

Lust was being stimulated along with love, remorse, and fear of rejection. Paige hadn’t been this physically close to him in days, and yet she seemed so damn far. His only hope was that she would allow him back into her life after his jackass move to push her away.

The car finally came to a stop at the curb of a peach cottage with a white picket fence along the shore. Instead of entering the house, Brenden led them around back. For a few seconds, he watched Paige struggle across the grassy field in her heels before he scooped her into his arms.

“I hope you’re ready to talk. The silent treatment is killing me.” His pouty face softened her expression before she turned away from him again.

He watched as she dragged an inhale and continued gazing into the distance. When he approached the dock with a sailboat tied to the end, he noticed a quiver in her lips. It was as if she were fighting a smile from surfacing.

“Well, this explains your attire.” Paige popped his collar, making him grin as he stepped onto the first wooden plank leading to the boat. “It’s a good look on you. You should’ve let me change.”

“You’ll have time to change later. Your clothes are in the house.”

“What?” Paige squirmed from his arms, stumbling until her heels gained steady footing. She then folded her arms and glared at him. “How dare you! You’re delusional if you think taking me out on some boat is going to make me forget the last week of my life, Brenden. Take me back to the hotel now.”

“No.” He gave her a pointed stare and slid his hands into his pockets.

“No? I’m not following your orders today.” She stepped to the side, attempting to bypass him.

He snatched off his shirt and threw it at her feet. “Dammit, I surrender.” He pointed to a barely visible scar at his neck. The same one she had asked him about so many nights ago. “Libya. A warlord sent a kid at me with a blade.” He then pointed to the scar at his lateral. “Basilan. A roadside bomb went off and I got trapped underneath the rubble of an old mosque.”

“Brenden, don’t.” She reached for him.

He stepped back, inhaled hard, and then brought his right arm around. The black flames were extra dark in broad daylight. “This…this was Baghdad. A bullet grazed my arm during a shootout, and I…I still couldn’t save him.”

His face became tight. He took a step closer, watching Paige hug herself hard. She opened then closed her mouth without one word escaping as a flush crept up her neck and settled in her cheeks. He didn’t need her to tell him how she felt. Her shame along with traces of fear was evident. Both were the very reasons he never wanted her to see under his mask.

“Him, is that Daniel?”

“Yes, and I can’t lose you, too.” He choked over the words. His head hung low for a few minutes. Through blurred vision, he set his sights on the woman before him. “I have taken more than one life, and will probably take more. The missions I face are complex, dangerous, and off the record.”

He watched as tears slid from the corners of her eyes. He knew it was a lot to hear, but he had to give her something if he wanted her to agree to be in his life forever. Since learning she loved him, coupled with news of the pregnancy and the uncertainty of Operation Jackal, a deep-seated sense of needing her to always remember him prevailed. He also needed the certainty that she would be there for him when he returned. If he had that to focus on, he had something, someone to fight for beyond the chaos he experienced.

“How do you feel now that you know?” he asked just above a whisper.

“My love for you hasn’t changed. I don’t think it ever will, Brenden. And now that I know the risks you take, I’m scared. I never want you to go on another mission.”

“There will be more missions. I won’t ever tell you everything. What I can tell you now is I love you, Paige Nichols. I can’t live without you, and I want to be a part of our baby’s life.”

Paige kicked off her heels and moved at lightning speed until she was burrowed within his arms. She grabbed Brenden’s face and unleashed a kiss upon his lips. Their tongues dueled then mated for all eternity. All of his heartache began floating away.

When Brenden came up for air, he framed her face with his hands. He stared into the depths of her soul, knowing he should tell her he was deploying in forty-six days for Operation Jackal, and wanted her as his wife to guarantee she and his child would be taken care of…just in case.

“Are you still in love with me, Nichols?”

“Yes,” she sniffled.

“Do you love me enough to be my wife?” Brenden thumbed tears from her eyes then dropped down on one knee while removing a small black pouch from his pocket. “I told myself that if I ever met her, you, the woman I fell in love with, I would ask this question by the sea.”

His gaze left her for a moment and went to the crashing waves of the Atlantic. He hadn’t imagined doing this now, but life held no guarantees, and he had to do this for them and to ensure his legacy would be carried forward. “You see the ocean?” He refocused on her and she nodded. “It is infinite, pure, and deep. My love for you is the same. Paige, I need you. Will you marry me?”

“Brenden.” She clasped her mouth. “Yes…yes, I’ll marry you!”

He smiled as she gave an excited nod. Gently, he slid his grandmother’s 1915 rose gold, millegrain band he had retrieved from Whitehall Estate and had set with a three carat, Asscher cut diamond onto her slim finger.

“It’s beautiful, Brenden. Perfect, just like you are for me. I love you.”

He hauled her into his arms, spinning her around as she dropped kiss after kiss upon his lips. Their last kiss lingered, his heart dancing like it was in a wildfire. Desire suffocated him as they both took stuttering breaths from the other. Her eyes met his, and whenever she looked at him with those soft orbs that seemed more auburn than brown, he knew she would meet him in ecstasy.

Brenden led them from the dock to the cottage. The minute they were inside the door, he was on her. This beautiful woman, who loved him in spite of his flaws, would be his wife, bear his children, and finally make his house feel like a home. His thoughts made him spiral out of control. He pinned her to the wall, sucking and biting her sweet flesh before ripping off her dress.

“I missed you,” she whispered, pulling in a breath as her fingers trailed, tickling the fine hairs of his chest before stopping at the scar from his accident in Basilan. “Always fight to find your way back to me.”

“I’ll always come back to you.” He held her tight. His eyes closed as his lips brushed her temple. “You’re everything to me.”

Paige kissed him until she was breathless. “Promise.”

“Cross my heart, Nichols.” He swept her off her feet and carried her to the bed where they finished stripping each other down. Brenden molded her softness into his body before fastening his mouth to hers.

His hand rested on her belly. He looked deep into her eyes before relaxing into a smile. “Knocked up with my li’l soldier suits me just fine.”

“Caveman,” she gushed with laughter, accepting his kiss. “It may be a girl.”

“And she’d still be my little soldier.” He chuckled then became serious. “One request, if it is a girl, can we name her Emeline? It was my grandmother’s name. I loved her very much, and before she died, I promised if I ever had a daughter, my little girl would take her name.”

“I like that,” she said, smiling as she cupped his cheek.

His hand continued south and slipped to the apex of her thighs, making him smile as she spread her legs wide. “I know there will be a wedding”—he steadied himself over her then rubbed the tip of his cock over her clit—“but in my heart, you’re already my wife.”

“Brenden,” she moaned, accepting him as the thick head of his cock pushed between her drenched folds, filling her to the hilt.

“Mmm, my God, your pussy feels incredible. I can’t live without you, Paige.”

“Me either.” She wrapped her legs around his waist. “You’re the one I’ve waited for all my life. I can’t wait to say ‘I do.’”

They rolled until she was seated atop him, grinding up and down the full length of his dick. Brenden gripped her ass, battling his base nature to slam her down and be buried balls deep. Because the woman who held his future needed more than good makeup sex. She deserved to have his soul mate with hers, to be loved.

On a groan, he intertwined their fingers and rolled on top. He went deep, riding a wave of passion as he delivered slow, measured thrusts to her succulent pussy. He paused. “Two weeks to plan.”

“Two weeks?” She rolled her pelvis up, clenching his dick within her tightness.

“Okay,” he panted. “You and me, man and wife, one month. Not a day more.”

“One month? Why?”

He ravished her lips, then scanned her flushed face and smirked at her glazed eyes. She was about to make all his dreams come true, but he still couldn’t tell her that he had to have her as his wife before he deployed for one of his most dangerous missions that included removing a corrupt prime minister who had been instrumental in the black market supply lines going unchallenged in the east.

No way would he risk everything he had put on the line and confess the truth. This secret may come back to bite him in the ass, but for now, he needed Paige to believe in this moment and what they had a lifetime to share.