But It Won’t Today

This birthday is just about

over, no car for me, and what

the hell was I thinking? I’ll have

to find my own way to autonomy.

But then, I always understood

that, didn’t I? We bump into

the driveway, safe and sound

despite Dad’s compromised state.

“The sleigh knows the way,”

I say out loud, “so Santa, please

don’t sweat it.” The sentiment

floats up from out of the depths,

disturbing Dad, who throws

the gearshift into park, turns

off the ignition. He turns to look

at me. What did you just say?

I repeat the sentence while

trying to discern what’s got

him so riled up. “I have no idea

where it came from. Do you?”

He sits in silent contemplation,

as if searching for the right thing

to say, but ultimately comes back

with, Nope, never heard it before.