Chapter Six

Walking in Forgiveness

BLOODLETTING WAS ONCE AN ACCEPTED PRACTICE for bringing balance and healing to the afflicted. Today it is almost inconceivable that its practice spanned nearly two millennium. Fortunately, in the last one hundred years, we have evolved in our knowledge of medicine and the human body, moving well beyond something that now seems both bizarre and barbaric.

Those who practiced bloodletting genuinely believed in its efficacy, intending only to bring restored health to those who had sought them out; however, had these practitioners known then what we know today, they would most certainly have abandoned their work. As flawed as their approach may seem, they were nevertheless doing their best.

No matter how imperfect their actions may appear, people are always doing their best. As Dr. David Hawkins has so often observed, if people could do better than they do, they would. Such a disarming insight offers a new lens, a new context, through which to view human striving and growth. It also allows us to embrace a deeper compassion for others and to walk in forgiveness, that is, if we choose to do so. And if we choose to forgive, we come to discover that we also end up forgiving ourselves, as well.

Little good, if any, comes from raging against what is past. Yet forgiveness need never condone what has been done, either by design, neglect, or out of sheer ignorance; instead, it can offer us a potential door through which a better, more responsible, and healthier way might be discovered. Increasingly today we find ourselves confronting problems we have inherited from several centuries of our having poisoned our planet with reckless abandon, as well as the ongoing pillaging of vital resources that works against their natural restoration.

Today’s soils are sick and depleted, having been for years poisoned by manmade chemicals in the form of fertilizers as well as by dangerous toxins found in the by-products of the Industrial Revolution, such as chlorine compounds, coal-tars, among others. Nobel laureate Dr. Alexis Carrell warned the world in 1912 of the urgent need to protect the quality of our world’s soil in his book Man, the Unknown, suggesting that the health of living things, including humans, is directly related to the health and fertility of the soil, since all food comes from the soil. Carrell outlined how natural minerals in the soil create a harmony and balance that is disrupted by artificial fertilizers and chemical wastes.

According to Dr. Carrell, the chemicals in fertilizers seek union with the minerals already present in the soil, resulting in plants becoming unbalanced and unhealthy. Initially plants that are given artificial fertilizers look healthy and robust, but only because of an increase in their watery tissues, which reduces their protein constitution and makes them more prone to disease. As a result, the nutritive value of our food has greatly suffered and diminished in the past century. It is sadly ironic that even though crop yields have increased two or three fold as a result of artificial fertilizers, the quality and nutrition in the crops produced has been enormously reduced in favor of providing produce that looks better than it tastes. There are still those with us who were alive before World War II who remember how radically different, better and tastier food was prior to the decision that a product’s shelf-life was more important than nutrition and flavor.

In their astounding book, Secrets of the Soil, authors Tompkins and Bird report on the research findings of Dr. Joseph D. Weissman, a professor at the UCLA College of Medicine. After years of research, Dr. Weissman has concluded that most of the non-infectious diseases that debilitate humanity are of recent origin, their onslaught coincidental to the poisons produced by our ever-increasing industrial society and its inevitable toxic waste and, consequently, its universal pollution. Today toxins are everywhere on our planet: in our air, water, food, and soil. It is little wonder that the immune systems of so many have become so compromised. Part of this problem has been from the increasing use of chemical fertilizers for over one hundred and fifty years, which has imperiled the health of the soil in ways that most people don’t realize.

A German chemist, Justus von Liebig, now called by many the “father of chemical agriculture,” erroneously concluded in his experiments that plants are nurtured by nitrogen, phosphorous, and potash. Liebig’s extensive writing and promulgation of this discovery led to the emergence of an industry that offered new synthetic chemicals that supposedly would enrich the soil. Prior to Liebig, common wisdom supported the theory that humus, the dark organic material in the soil that comes from the decomposition of vegetable and animal matter, played a central role in the soil’s richness and fertility. Not realizing that his assumptions were mistaken, Liebig alleged otherwise, and his writings successfully bamboozled the world’s farmers. According to Tompkins and Bird, Liebig finally discerned his initial error a decade later, but by then his discovery and advocacy had launched a great leviathan in the form of an ever-increasing and prosperous industry that manufactured and sold artificial chemicals that would ultimately weaken and imperil the natural richness of the soil used in growing crops.

After World War II, with a critical shortage of labor at home, farmers were desperate for any potential help that might assist them to increase their crop yields. The chemical companies, with the war no longer raging, were only too happy to oblige them by reinvesting their wartime profits into broad-spectrum pesticides, similar to DDT. Of course, these new chemicals continued poisoning the soil and killing the very microorganisms that create fertility. Sadly, the wide-ranging use of such fertilizers have also apparently caused an increase in degenerative diseases in humans, a poisoning that masqueraded as the modern and safe way to increase crop abundance, although there were a few sane and knowing voices that were courageously raising the alarm against its onslaught.

You may be asking, “Why should we forgive such horrible things that have been done and that are being done to our planet’s soil, crops and people?”

REMEMBER: Forgiveness need not condone an act that is being forgiven; instead, think of it as a potential door through which new solutions and actions might be discovered. Wringing our hands or shouting down an alleged monster does very little good, either in the short run or the long run. Why should anyone who has the power and means to help make positive changes do so, especially under scathing attack?

REMEMBER: We are, all of us, responsible, either by omission or by commission. Not one of us is exempt. Furthermore, we do not know what others’ face. The quotation, commonly attributed to Philo of Alexandria, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle” can help bring compassion for others as well as for ourselves.

So let’s look at several of the presumable villains in this drama, to see if we might be able to better understand their various points of view. The first is the American farmer who, wanting to increase his hard-earned income and struggling to remain viable during the Great Depression, allowed himself to be enticed and encouraged by the chemical companies to lace his fields with all kinds of artificial fertilizers. Their promise to him of larger yields at first seemed true, to all appearances. But, as mentioned earlier, fertilizers seek union with the minerals already present in the soil and the plants, as a result, become unbalanced and unhealthy. At first the artificial fertilizers make plants look healthy and strong, but experience demonstrates that they are not what they appear to be and, in fact, are much more vulnerable to disease and pests. And even though crop yields have increased significantly, the quality and nutrition they offer has been enormously reduced in favor of providing a product that looks better than it tastes.

Thus the farmer, trusting the so-called experts and wanting to increase his income, shook hands with the devil of ignorance and implemented the recommended regimens of artificial fertilizers. Only after it was too late did he realize his error, for by then large corporate structures were rapidly replacing the once commonplace American family farm. Just as the farmer had too eagerly jumped for the promise of more profit, so, too, have the corporations made the moniker “big is better” a recurring theme in the do’s an don’ts of modern farming and crop production. Perhaps “bigger is cheaper” was also an unstated, but understood, component of the rush to buy up small farms and to create megafarms, where such farms could become mechanized in order to save in labor costs and other attendant expenses.

Now, what is the necessary prime directive of any company? To make a profit, else the company will cease to exist. Company directors and administrators continually search, and sometimes scrounge, for ways to increase their profits and stock prices. That is to be expected, and any enterprising director or manager worth his salt would enthusiastically embrace such a notion. But then comes this question: exactly how far may individuals go to secure profit and advancement for the company to which they are responsible? Is there ever any justification for placing potential profits and company growth above and beyond the public good or the public safety? It would seem that such choices are rarely presented in black and white, but rather in subsequent striations of gray where there exist such things as contingency management, percentages regarding acceptable levels of allergy, illness or even death, and perhaps some modicum of soul-searching. It would be giving short-shrift to corporate leaders to invoke the old saying, ‘The higher you rise on the corporate ladder, the more they own of your soul.’ It is much more likely that such decision makers genuinely believe in what they are doing and have become convinced that they are doing the right thing. Do such decision makers actually realize the horrendous, earth-destroying toxins that their companies’ products are releasing into the soil in the name of fertilization and growth, or do they merely rely on the favorable studies and reports rendered by their scientists? Or do such decision makers seek refuge in that convenient kind of disconnect, a selective mental stance of ‘not’ knowing, perhaps hidden somewhere on an unconscious level where ethics and facts never meet?

Regrettably, there have been some scientists and managers who knew, and knew only too well, the far reaching and deleterious effects on the soil that accrue from the use of artificial fertilizers. Perhaps it was for ‘the good of the company’ or for the ‘good of their bank accounts’ that they chose short term gain over the on-going health of the Earth’s soil. Greed has manifested its ubiquitous head in nearly every corporation and institution that has ever existed. The difference here is that this greed has befouled our planet’s very life blood.

This great leviathan, born from the loins of Liebig’s mistaken assumption, was compounded by his promulgation of the same. It became so powerful so quickly that even Liebig didn’t know how to stop it when he finally discovered his error ten years after his initial discovery. What price has the soil of our planet subsequently paid for the steady increase and application of artificial fertilizers and chemicals during these last one hundred and fifty years? The problem today, of course, is how to change the unthinkably destructive course that was set so long ago. Huge interconnected, multinational industries have become exceedingly successful at servicing the current systems of food production and distribution, a system which, when brought under keen scrutiny, raises troublesome questions and even graver concerns.

Yes. It is true that for many years, for whatever reason, a lot of people and many companies elected to redirect resources and to make money. Is it any different than each of us deciding to use some left over pie dough to make a small pie, rather than throwing it out?

Some individuals no doubt truly thought that what they were doing would help us grow more food and feed more people, perhaps never even considering the consequences of dumping lots of chemicals into our planet’s soil. We now know that these chemicals, which have ended up in our water, our bodies, and our food kill the soil, the soil’s helpers, and ultimately us! They also wreak havoc with our immune systems and make us more vulnerable to disease.

In retrospect, it is easy to point fingers of accusation at the big corporations, the research universities, the big ad companies and the government agencies. If we further extend that finger pointing, we will discover that those fingers are pointing at our ancestors as well as at us! The truth is that we have all had a part in destroying this planet, either by commission or omission. And we can’t move on unless we forgive ... everyone, especially ourselves. An acceleration of the healing process will happen if everyone can take his or her own piece of responsibility. And please remember, forgiving does not mean that we like, condone or agree with something that some one or some company has done. But until we forgive, we will remain at a stalemate — it will be nothing more than the old us/them, we/they standoff. That hasn’t worked very well for anyone so far, has it? We’re sick, and getting sicker. And so is the soil of our planet.

As I stated earlier in this chapter, I believe that any answer that has even the slightest chance of working must include forgiveness. In fact, forgiveness must be its enduring cornerstone, for ultimately the responsibility for the condition of our world comes back to each of us. If we cast honest eyes at our current situation, it won’t take much to realize and to admit that we are all remiss, that we have all played a part in helping the world to become so fragile, so polluted — either by omission or commission. Whether through ignorance, neglect, disinterest, apathy or greed, or some other avenue, we are all responsible for the health of this planet that we share together.

One reason that forgiveness is our best first step toward a better, healthier world is that not one of us knows enough to lay blame and accusation on others. We cannot discern another’s intent or the various pressures and motivations that resulted in what seem now to have been misinformed or self-serving choices. No matter what party was involved and no matter what choice was made, all individuals were doing the best they could. When we can accept that everyone was or is doing his or her best, we can then forgive — fully acknowledging what has happened, carefully assessing our current need, and joining together to find productive solutions for our shared journey. Recriminations and blame will only alienate those whom we need most to step up to the plate to join us in looking for a better way.

How do I know, from the very depth of my being, that forgiveness is the answer, the fundamental way we must go? For the simple reason that such a need was manifested in my own life on New Year’s Eve in 2004, as I recounted in Chapter Five of this memoir. The need for forgiveness, both of myself and for all others, will now be forever a part of my own life’s journey.

It is not something that came easily. My honeymoon after I quit drinking lasted about sixty days, during which time I enjoyed a profound happiness and exquisite joy. I had been warned about an imminent crash by those at AA meetings and by Chuck Skelton. When it arrived, I found myself in torrents of shame about how I had lived my life. I saw clearly how I had been a not-always-present dad and husband and how I had blamed my ex-wife for everything. I saw how I blamed others at work for whatever pain I felt within myself.

I had to admit these things, first to myself and then to others. Gary Reynard’s book The Disappearance of the Universe, especially its recommended affirmations for forgiveness, proved enormously helpful. It enabled me to forgive myself for how I had been a dad and husband and how I had been around alcohol. As I became involved in the Organic School Project, I began to realize the double standard I had been living: eating organic food at home but not using it in the workplace. I needed to forgive myself for having ignored what was being served to kids in schools. My oldest daughter, Asa, tried to tell me for years about the kind of food her peers were being given at school, but I conveniently chose to ignore her. When I realized that I had become part of the problem by ignoring it, I began to ask forgiveness for having done so.

When I began to promote the concept of the Organic School Project, Gary Reynard’s book helped me to get through a lot of tough meetings with the Chicago Public School District. Had it not been for that book, I would have been triggered a number of times and probably lost any credibility. Self-pity and anger merely plug us up. And, in a way, it’s easier to extend the gift of forgiveness in that kind of setting, as opposed to one’s own family. The closer we are to people, the harder it is to work through what needs to be addressed. At least, that’s been my experience.

Nevertheless, it is not easy to wake others to the problems inherent in having a compromised food system. These mega corporations have been on a feed-Wall-Street kick forever, with their slick “Grow Growth Now!” slogans. And in the name of short term profit, we poison the earth, destroying its soil, resulting in an enormous ripple effect. Hence, we find ourselves walking on ill soil, drinking ill water, and eating ill food. We continue to slowly kill ourselves, our children and our planet. And owing to how animals are slaughtered and produce is grown, with one person tending one thousand acres of harvest, we are unwittingly eating angry and sad food.

The 8,000 square mile dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico is a direct result of our using chemicals to grow our cotton, wheat and beans. Boats, working 24/7, dredge 462 tons of silt at the mouth of the Mississippi every day, which is then taken and deposited in a deeper part of the Gulf of Mexico. That silt is full of chemicals that release nitrogen, and when that silt sinks to the bottom of the Gulf, it sucks up all the oxygen, killing all of the tiny organisms that feed the fish. At last count, there were more than 165 such dead zones around the planet. Why is such activity allowed to continue? Perhaps in the name of profit. Perhaps in the name of it simply having become the commonly acceptable thing to do.

Did you know that here in Illinois, which boasts some of the richest tillable soils in the world, ninety-five percent of our food is imported from outside the state? Instead, Illinois soils are devoted to growing corn and beans. Did you know that school lunch program foods are comprised mostly of corn-based products? The United States now imports more than half of its food. In grocery stores, we mistakenly think that the some 45,000 items being offered reflect abundance, but that is totally wrong. A vast majority of products in our food system are imbued with chemicals that wreak havoc with our immune systems and offer no real nutrition. It’s little wonder that most people are on some kind of medicine as well as feeling depressed and disconnected.

Did you know that Mexico’s once indigenous corn is gone? Twenty years ago there were over one hundred varieties that had existed there for centuries. What is happening has worldwide ramifications, because everyone and everything is dynamically interconnected. Would you believe that we now have only five seed companies left in this world? Companies were allowed to patent seeds beginning in 1982. Believe it or not, there is also a current movement to genetically engineer food produce in ways that it will also serve as “medicine” that will be prescribed by your primary physician.

Did you know that we currently use 2.4 percent of the world’s tillable land to grow the cotton that we produce? Yet we also use a staggering 25% of the annual consumption of pesticides to grow that cotton! Look in your bedroom closet. Are all of your clothes manufactured through an organic process? If not, you (and I) remain part of the larger problem. I dearly wish that I could afford an entire wardrobe of clothes that have all been organically produced, but I can’t, and so I contribute to the further poisoning of our planet.

It will be important for forgiveness to occur at all levels, such as with the big corporations and the government agencies that have not served us as well as we might have hoped. And they’re not stupid. At least some of their executives fully realize the mess they’ve gotten us into. I’d like to shout this question to them, “So how’s that working out for you?” We all know, or we are coming to realize, that it’s not working out very well at all, for any of us. Yet all of that notwithstanding, I adamantly believe that any and all forgiveness is going to have to begin with one’s self, if we are ever going to successfully join together to solve the many problems that are staring us in the face. That is why I believe that forgiveness is necessary. In my experience, it is the first best step toward the most expeditious way of getting beyond the blame game. It frees us to join together so that real and enduring solutions can be found for our current difficulties. Is any larger purpose served in hanging on to the past and recriminating others, while the very future and health of our planet now needs us and is calling to us to chart a new, healthier course?

An important part of the changes that are emerging will involve all of us steadfastly voting with our dollars. Real and lasting change will only come when homemakers insist on organic food and apply verbal pressure to their local grocery stores and restaurants. Don’t give them any of your money unless they are willing to accommodate your request to change and to do the right and healthy thing. And take care to know what’s going on. Currently there are three categories for organic food: 100%, 95% and 70%. Remember: a product that is 95% organic might still contain five percent of undesired chemicals. We don’t need new policies, for it was the government and big companies got us into this mess to begin with. What we need is to vote with our dollars, and we can do it, especially if enough people join together to do so. The big companies are built on making profit, and if they begin to see that their potential profits are in danger of eroding, they will take measures to accede to public demand.

Each of us can only do so much. Chapter Eight will offer suggestions for how we, even in it is in small ways, can begin to make positive differences toward the sustainability of our planet and its resources. The important thing is to begin doing something positive to help our world, even in a small way. Owing to my background and training, one of my own personal goals is to assist schools in going completely organic in the food they offer to their students as well as to encourage students to grow and harvest some of that food. The next chapter outlines, from our experience, some why’s, how’s, do’s and don’ts — hard lessons that were derived from our pilot program within three Chicago elementary schools. My hope is that what we learned will prove beneficial and will help others who may join us in our continuing effort to afford to our nation’s school children food that is nutritious, tasty and safe.

My larger goal, and I know that it will only be achieved if there is a large outpouring of public demand and support for it, is for our entire nation ultimately to return to local food systems, food systems that are entirely organically-based and self-supporting. Here is a sobering example of what we are doing to ourselves. A friend of mine who lives in Sedona recently reported to me that she had placed an apple that she had bought at a local market out into her garden for any birds or animals that might want it. The apple sat there, day after day, until it rotted. It caused her to wonder about the apple and why it wasn’t even touched. A few days later she bought an organically-produced apple and put it in the same spot, and it was eaten within twenty-four hours. Our planet’s animals appear to be a lot wiser than we are about what they allow themselves to ingest.

When one remembers that a small example like this is reflective of a much larger system and its perils and failures, it is staggering to ponder the vastness of these current challenges. In truth, there is very little that most of us can do to change the world for the better. Nevertheless, within such individual change comes hope for the preservation of our species and planet, I am reminded of what Leo Tolstoy wrote: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Ultimately, I can only change myself and, with that, hope that my subsequent choices and actions will make a positive difference.