Chapter Seven

LILY

 

Scott came into the kitchen just as Lily and Bodhi were sitting down to breakfast. He looked at his watch. “I’m a bit late going this morning. Not used to this routine.”

“It’s a shock to the system, isn’t it? Oh well, we’ll quickly get used to it.”

Scott agreed. “I’ve had brekky, so I’ll get on the road, go to work.”

“Just remember I can pick Bodhi up this afternoon—I’ve told Jacqui I wanted to ease back in—so if you being late for work is an issue, I can do it.”

“Thanks.” Scott grinned at her, and she smiled back at him.

“Maybe we could go for dinner tonight? Middle of the week, could trick us into thinking we’re on vacation again just for an hour,” she suggested. As Scott nodded, she turned to Bodhi. “Would you like to go for dinner tonight? Just the three of us?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Bodhi said.

“Where do you want to go?” Scott asked, directing the question to both of them.

“The Noodle House?” Bodhi piped up.

“Oh, nice pick,” Lily said happily. Cheap, cheerful, and great food.

“Reckon we need a booking?” Scott asked, and Lily said she’d do it. “Sounds great,” he said, and then gave Bodhi a kiss goodbye.

An hour later, Lily walked Bodhi to the school gate and into the schoolyard, where Bodhi found a friend and raced off to follow him. She stood watching as the two boys went running toward the play area. She looked into the distance as she saw Parker walking with Mr Stenlake around the schoolyard. One of them was probably on playground duty, and the other was keeping them company.

Lily sighed. Of all the schools in Canberra, she couldn’t believe Parker had wound up there, teaching her son. She didn’t know how she’d be able to survive the school year, but she had no other option. What was the alternative? Changing schools? She couldn’t imagine telling Scott and Bodhi that they had to leave Bodhi’s beloved school, and Canberra South was a really great school. She shook her head; no, she’d just have to pull on her big-girl panties and deal with it. She didn’t even know if Parker recognised her. She just wished she didn’t feel that unsettling sensation whenever she was around her. Just as she glanced at her one last time, Parker looked up, and their eyes met. Lily instinctively looked away, but not before noticing her penetrating gaze.

*

JACQUI WALKED INTO the office. “Have you had breakfast? Hope not. I had an early meeting with a bakery and they gave me croissants!” she called out cheerfully.

Lily was working on some new advertising packages but struggling to focus, so she welcomed the interruption. “Oh, yum. I had a very healthy muesli for breakfast, so I’m more than happy to ruin that by stuffing my face with pastries and jam.”

“Jam, good point.” Jacqui went to the office pantry and pulled out a jar of raspberry jam and then went to the fridge for butter. She quickly put the kettle on and made two coffees, taking the steaming mugs to the desk. Getting some plates together, she sat down at Lily’s desk with the croissants, and the two of them got busy doctoring their baked goods.

Biting into them, they were silent for some time before Jacqui finally spoke up. “How are things?”

“Good,” Lily said, not giving anything away.

That wasn’t good enough for Jacqui, who shook her head and responded. “Are you struggling, being back at work? Or is it something else?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Lily said, her voice a little too high.

“Oh, come on, you haven’t been yourself for days. What is it?” Jacqui pressed. She used her fingers to count off options. “Back to school? Back to work? New routine? Scott? Or Valentine’s Day coming up?”

Lily looked up as her sister said that. “I hadn’t even thought about Valentine’s Day.”

“You will,” Jacqui said knowingly with compassion.

Lily smiled, but her tone was sad. “Yeah, I will.”

“So, if it’s not that, is it one of the others? Bodhi back at school? Or problems with Scott?”

Lily shook her head and wondered whether to confide in Jacqui. “Scott’s great, as always. He’s perfect. I’m so lucky to have him.”

“Yes, but he’s lucky to have you too.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah, but he’s great with Bodhi. It’s a huge help.”

Jacqui rolled her eyes. “He’s his dad. Dads should be good with their kids.”

“You know what I mean. Look, I’ll tell you what’s up, but you have to promise to never mention it again.”

Jacqui looked surprised but agreed, licking the jam off her fingers. “Sure, fire away.”

“The issue is Bodhi’s teacher. She’s new to the school.”

“Okay, you’re three days into the term. What has she possibly done?”

“Nothing. I’m sure she’s fine. It’s just… I’ve met her before.”

“Okay,” Jacqui said, looking at Lily like she was going mad. “Typical in Canberra.”

Lily didn’t know how to say it without sounding crass. Finally, she just bit the bullet. “I’ve slept with her.”

Jacqui practically choked on her coffee as she spluttered, “You slept with Bodhi’s teacher? When?”

Lily blushed but laughed a little at her sister’s response. “Last year.”

“You slept with a woman last year!” Jacqui’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Well, don’t look so surprised.” Lily was offended that Jacqui thought the idea was so unexpected.

“I am surprised. I didn’t realise there had been any women since Megan.”

Lily looked down and rubbed her forehead in her hand. “There hadn’t been. Until Parker that night. Or Ms Parker as she’s called at the school. I’m really unsure if Parker’s her first name or her surname, but I knew her as Parker. And there’s been no one since.”

“Does Scott know?”

Lily shook her head and said, “No way. It would break his heart. Of course not. Only Maree knew.”

Jacqui nodded and Lily continued, “It was an incredible night. Totally unexpected but amazing. And I bolted out of there so fast in the end. It was so wrong. So perfect…and so wrong. I felt like the worst person in the world. I didn’t stop thinking about it for months afterwards. I figured it could just be my dirty little secret, and then suddenly I see her in our son’s classroom.” Lily had tears in her eyes.

Jacqui shook her head and gave her a sad look. “Oh, Lily.” She moved around the desk and put her arms around her sister, who fell into the embrace and cried. Lily was pleased it was finally out in the open.

“I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells at home. Like what if somehow Parker lets Scott know?”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Jacqui asked. “Would it be so awful if he knew?”

“I think it would break his heart.”

Jacqui considered it. “I don’t think Megan would want you living like this, Lily. And I’m sure if you talked to Scott, he would agree.”

“He’s living like it too.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Jacqui pondered aloud.

“He hasn’t dated in a long time either.”

“I think it’s just an excuse for him. It’s just easier to play the role of co-parent, career dad, that type of thing. I don’t think he’s not dating because of Megan, is he?”

Lily shrugged. “Hard to say why he doesn’t date, but he doesn’t, and I feel bad if I…”

Jacqui gave her sister a look. “You can’t live your life in honour of your dead wife, honey. You need to live too. Maybe Ms Parker is the woman for you.”

“Even if Ms Parker is the woman for me, she’s now Bodhi’s school teacher, so…”

Jacqui grinned, displaying her amusement about the situation Lily had found herself in. “It’s a bit complicated, isn’t it? So maybe it’s not Ms Parker, but maybe this is the push you need to get back out there. Go online. Go to the club. Find someone.”

Lily was pensive. “I don’t know about that,” she said. “Nothing’s actually changed.”

“Nothing other than the fact you suddenly have an opportunity with the woman who apparently rocked your world a year ago.” Jacqui shrugged. “Anyway, I have a bone to pick with you. Why didn’t you tell me back then?”

“It’s complicated, of course. I didn’t feel great about what happened. I felt like I was cheating on Megan.”

Jacqui looked sadly at Lily. “Like I’ve always said, I can’t pretend to understand what you’ve been going through these past six years, but I know Megan would have wanted you and Bodhi to be as happy as possible. And that could mean meeting someone and becoming a family.”

“We are happy. We are a family. Our little trio has just as much love as any normal family without the romance!”

Jacqui agreed and then took the plates from Lily’s desk, signalling that it was time to get a move on back to work.

“You’re right though,” Lily said. “Megan would want me to be happy, I know, but I just don’t feel right yet. And I don’t want Scott knowing.”

Jacqui nodded. “Yep. I get it.”

Lily knew she really didn’t.