Chapter Twenty-Three

LILY

 

Lily was cutting vegetables to throw into a casserole when Scott walked past the kitchen. “Don’t do a serve for me. I’m going out for dinner tonight if that’s okay?” Normally, on Sunday nights they ran through the week ahead. This mid-week dinner hadn’t been mentioned, so Lily was surprised but not worried. “Spur of the moment invitation. A date, I suppose,” he explained and looked embarrassed. He was trying hard to be casual. Lily could tell.

She paused before responding, trying to match his casual style. “Oh, sure, not a problem. There’s plenty, though, if you want a lunch serve tomorrow. Jacqui is coming over tonight.” She didn’t know whether to ask anything, but felt it best to let Scott divulge what he wanted when he was ready.

“That’s right. John’s away, isn’t he?” Scott clearly recalled Lily mentioning dinner with her sister because her kids would all be busy that evening, and Jacqui’s husband was away. “Look. I might take you up on the lunch serve tomorrow. Anyway, I shouldn’t be too late, so I might see Jacqui when I get home.”

Lily nodded, not knowing what to say or ask, though she was very curious. This was, as far as she knew, the first date Scott had been on in years—about eight years! Where did he meet someone? Was he looking? Online perhaps? Or did he just meet someone randomly? It all seemed so bizarre. And why did it need to happen now after she’d told Parker she wasn’t able to date? Could this be a signal that it was possibly time?

*

THE HOUSE HAD the smell of a simmering casserole circulating by the time Jacqui arrived, breezing in and kissing her nephew. “Yum, that smells delicious!”

“Good, there’s plenty. Scott isn’t joining us tonight.”

Jacqui nodded but didn’t say anything. She went into Bodhi’s room to see his new toys and then ventured out to the kitchen.

“He’s on a date,” Lily blurted out.

Jacqui looked confused and shook her head. “A date? Who?”

“Scott. Scott’s on a date.” Lily made sure Bodhi couldn’t hear her—they had never broached the topic of his parents dating anyone because it had never been an issue before. She didn’t really understand what Bodhi thought of dating and how he made sense of the world. Perhaps he never even thought that parents were usually romantically connected. In his world, perhaps parents were just friends who lived together. Sure, she and Scott had explained marriage to him, and how most parents were married, but how much sense did that make to an eight-year-old boy who had never really seen parents being romantically linked?

“Who is he dating?”

“I have no idea. He didn’t say. I didn’t ask. I was shocked.”

Jacqui raised her eyebrows. “I bet. Does this mean you’ll come out about your relationship with Parker?”

“We don’t have a relationship.”

“You call it tomato. I call it to-mah-to,” Jacqui said, laughing. “Friends with benefits or relationship—same diff.” She shrugged.

“No, I’m serious. Parker ended it.”

Jacqui’s eyes widened. “She ended it?” She looked really surprised. “I thought she was really into you.”

Lily felt both awful for any pain she’d caused and hopeful for the future when she said that. “She was really into me. And that’s why she ended it because I couldn’t commit.”

Jacqui gave her a sympathetic look. “Well maybe now you can.”

A questioning look crossed her face, and Lily shrugged, shaking her head slowly. “I don’t know. Maybe that ship’s sailed already. Maybe I upset her too much. Maybe…it’s too late to start again?”

“Oh, come on. She ended your FWB thing because she was too into it. This is like a romance movie set-up. You run to the airport before she boards that plane—that kind of thing.”

“It’s been a few weeks, and I haven’t heard from her, and I’ve avoided the classroom. If she was interested, I think I’d have heard from her.”

“Liliana. You basically told her that your heart belongs to Megan. That she can have you sexually, providing no one knows about it, including the man you live with. Your best friend. She could just be your dirty little secret.”

Lily felt like she’d been slapped. It sounded awful the way Jacqui put it. “Well, it wasn’t exactly like that. It’s complicated.”

“Sure. And Parker told you that she wants more. That doesn’t sound to me like she’s not interested. It sounds like someone who was hurting.”

Lily was silent as she pondered Jacqui’s words. Maybe Jacqui was right, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself. Part of her reason for not wanting to date had been Scott. Another part of her reason was loyalty to Megan. She was attracted to Parker but hadn’t even thought about whether she wanted a relationship with her—she’d been so closed off to the idea. If she felt ready to take the leap to have a relationship, was Parker actually the person she wanted to be with? Or had she just been a fun distraction? Lily didn’t know the answer. Sure, she’d enjoyed Parker’s company, but they were just friends, right? Friends that had amazing sexual chemistry, sure, but relationships were more than that. They were many things, perhaps most notably teacher and parent. Lovers. Friends. But were they relationship material? She had to think that over, but she knew that even if she wanted it, Parker might be closed off from the idea by now.

“Do you actually see us together?”

Jacqui grinned. “I do. You know…if, months ago, you’d asked me who I imagined as your next partner, I would have imagined someone like Megan, because…well, because of Megan. That’s all I knew. But now I’ve seen you with Parker, I can absolutely see you with her. You work together nicely.”

“Really?” Lily’s brow creased in confusion as Jacqui nodded, her eyes glinting with happiness. Lily wasn’t sure. She’d been on a roller coaster over the past couple of weeks, since Parker had exited her life in every way except as her son’s teacher.

Actually, she’d been on a roller coaster of emotions ever since she’d first met Parker. No one really understood how hard it was to have pictured life going down one path and it changing so suddenly and unexpectedly. No one, that is, except perhaps Scott, whose life had changed just as dramatically as her own.

Lily sighed audibly. Jacqui looked at her sister with compassion. Lily knew Jacqui did somewhat understand the journey Lily had been through but still encouraged her to move on. Perhaps if she hadn’t had Bodhi to raise, dating would have been on her mind sooner. As Bodhi was becoming more independent, the idea of having a relationship seemed more possible. Maybe it would be nice, after all. Risky, but potentially worth the risk.

“Look, if you want my two cents… I think you need to see her. I think you need to just put it out there. Tell her you’re keen, but you just want to take it slow.”

“That’s exactly what we were doing,” Lily protested, but Jacqui shook her head.

“No, you were sex buddies. That was all you ever offered her. You weren’t taking steps towards a relationship, Lily. That’s what I’m saying now. Small steps.”

“I’ll give it some thought.”

“Just don’t think too long. A woman like her will get snapped up quickly.”

“If she likes me as much as you say she does, she won’t.”