Sunday Afternoon: Present
Kyle. Oh, shit.
Kyle. Kyle. KYLE.
I must say his name aloud as I push Cole away because he looks at me as if I slapped him. “What? Who’s that?”
I put one hand over my mouth and steady myself against a tree with the other. The world’s spinning. I’m spinning, or my stomach is. I cannot vomit in front of Cole. Kissing him aside, that’s just humiliating.
“Sev, talk to me.” Cole stands several feet away and makes no move to help me. I hurt him by saying Kyle’s name, but he hurts me by calling me Seven. Why doesn’t he call me Sophia in private? He’ll kiss me, but he won’t use the name I want?
More importantly, why am I pondering these things now? It’s ridiculous.
No, it’s shock. Snap out of it and remember your training.
I dig my fingers into the bark, and it crumbles. “Kyle is X.”
Kyle is X. Kyle is in danger. Bad people were coming, so I took him to South Station with me—why? Had the other group found out about him too? Had something happened at the dance that I’m still forgetting? Were those people coming to RTC?
I sent him back to RTC by himself. Oh, shit. If Kyle’s captured or dies, it’ll be my fault.
So why am I standing here? If Fitzpatrick knew, she’d scream at me and she’d be right to. “I’ve got to go to Malone.”
Cole touches my arm, and I shiver. I’m so cold I feel like I’ll never get warm again, yet I’m sweating in fear. “You remember? Sev, that’s great. Let’s go.”
“No, it’s not great.” We take off, running through the woods. “I knew yesterday morning, and something bad was going down. We could be too late.”
“Don’t say that. Whatever happened to you, no one could have counted on your memories rebooting.”
A branch whacks me in the leg. “When did Malone tell you about my memories? I just found out myself.”
“Same as you. He told me while you were getting changed after the scan.” Cole gets out his phone and calls Malone.
While I wait for him to get through, my mind continues to spin. Better it than my stomach, but the questions are dizzying.
“Seven has X’s name,” Cole’s telling Malone. “We’re heading to your office now.”
“Excellent,” I hear Malone say. “Put her on.”
Cole hands me the phone. In my haste to grab it, I nearly drop it. “His name’s Kyle Chen. We need to hurry. I think he’s in danger.”
“Is he? I’m working on the logistics. Come to my office.”
I hand the phone back to Cole as we leave the woods. Malone tells him to escort me to his office if I need the help, but otherwise he’s to go to lunch.
“I know the way,” I tell him, breaking into a run.
I sprint the entire distance to the main building. Malone’s assistant gives my appearance a disgusted look and points at the elevator without a word. Normally, I’d want to return the expression, but all I can think about is making sure Kyle’s safe. And that this means I might get to see him again if it’s not too late.
I don’t know what causes more self-loathing: breaking my brain and possibly failing Kyle because of it, or being so selfish that amidst all this danger, I’m happy because of the possibility of seeing him once more.
“Come in.” Malone holds his arms out in welcome then motions for me to sit.
I’d rather keep moving. This nervous energy is killing me, but I do as instructed.
Malone’s phone buzzes, and he raises a finger in my direction before answering. “Chen. Kyle Chen. We’ll get you a photo.”
“I have a recent photo of him,” I say when he hangs up. “It’s on my phone.”
“Your phone’s in your backpack?”
I nod.
“Perfect.” Malone unlocks the closet behind his desk, and there’s my pack. “I’ve been holding on to it in case you needed to return to school soon. It looks like you have some of your classwork in there.”
Malone sets the bag on the desk, and I retrieve the phone. None of the bag’s contents have been disturbed, and I assume Malone was too busy to go through it or simply uninterested in my artistic endeavors.
I scroll through my folders, not remembering taking half as many pictures as I find. Some are of random students who I must have been keeping an eye on. Others are places around RTC. There’s one folder labeled “friends” that has several pictures of Kyle, Audrey and others. I swallow down the lump in my throat and select a useful one of Kyle. “Here, I’m sending it to you.”
“And I’m sending it on.” Malone presses several buttons on his phone. He’s fighting it, but I can tell he’s come as close to bouncing as he probably can get. I’d say he was almost downright giddy with relief.
I clear my throat. “I think Kyle might be in danger.”
Malone’s not-quite-giddiness vanishes. He sits, frowning. “Yes, that’s right. Why do you think that? Tell me what you remember.”
“Not much other than that. I figured out Kyle was X on Friday night, but something must have happened later.”
“Because you didn’t contact me immediately.”
And because I dragged Kyle away from campus. “Yeah. I’m worried that I might have been discovered and I can’t remember it.”
Absently, I rub my neck, and that causes Malone to sit up straighter. “Possible. It might explain how your tracker got removed. Did you tell Kyle anything?”
“Kyle? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
Malone rests his fingertips together and ponders the ceiling. “Interesting. And we don’t know how much Kyle knows about his unique abilities.”
“Oh, he knows. At least he knows that he doesn’t heal like a normal person, but he must have figured that out pretty young. When he got hurt on Friday—that’s how I found out—he tried to cover it up.”
“I see. I warned you there was a chance X wouldn’t want to be found. To know there’s something strange about yourself that no one can explain… Could be terrifying to be told the truth of it all. He might not react well.”
I consider this. “Kyle’s smart, but yeah. That could be tough. But it doesn’t explain anything about me.”
“Well.” Malone coughs. “You could have told him, he panicked, and because you’re kind, you gave him time to adjust before reporting in.”
He says it lightly, but there’s nothing light about it. That would be a direct violation of my orders.
Besides, would I?
I love Kyle. My feelings for him aren’t the same as they are for Cole, but they’re just as strong. And that’s why I want to protect Kyle. Letting him adjust while others are after him wouldn’t make sense. I’d be endangering him. “No. I wouldn’t do that.”
“I don’t believe you would, but I’m thinking aloud, trying to cover the possibilities. Perhaps one of them will trigger a memory. What triggered this one, by the way?”
Kissing Cole? Oh, shit. I certainly can’t tell Malone that.
“Not sure. It wasn’t related to anything I was doing at the time.” Besides feeling guilty for kissing the wrong boy. I’m going to have to create a cover story with Cole. He’s not going to want to get caught, either.
Malone gets up and gives my shoulder a shake. “I bet it’s because you were trying so hard to remember. You gave that information priority. I knew we could rely on you, Seven. You did well. Whatever else happened, I’m sure those memories will return soon too. Now relax and leave it to others to find this boy and keep him safe.”
Assuming Kyle’s at RTC and can be found. But Cole and Malone are right. I can’t dwell on the possibility that he’s not. It’s too late to do anything about it.
“Sir, may I ask a favor?”
Malone sits on his desk. “Certainly. What is it?”
“If it’s possible, I’d like to be part of the team that goes to get Kyle. I was friendly with him, and as you said, this could be scary. It might calm him if he sees a familiar face.”
And me. It would definitely calm me to know he’s okay.
“I’m afraid I already sent in a couple operatives who are in the Boston area. Given your concern that you or Kyle might have been discovered, I didn’t want to waste time sending a team from here. You understand?”
I nod. It makes sense, and I feel silly for asking. I just hope that whoever Malone sent, they aren’t the same two guys I made Kyle run from yesterday. That would really freak him out.
My fault. Again. Ugh.
“Then may I see him when he arrives? If he’s coming here, that is.”
“He is. As soon as our meeting is over, I’ll be in getting in touch with my contact at the CIA. Kyle will be transferred to a more secure location, but they’ll need time to finalize the arrangements. So yes, I’ll see to it that you get a chance to visit him before he leaves.” Malone stands and gives me another shake. “You did as well as I could have hoped on this. Now, go get yourself some lunch. And it’s up to you whether you want to attend your afternoon classes or keep working on your recall.”
Lunch, yeah right. My stomach is too uneasy to eat, but I thank Malone and leave his office.
Halfway down the hall, I wish I’d asked for another favor—to have the photos off my phone. My mission is over. Really over. I’m never going to see Audrey or Yen or Chase again, and I never got to say goodbye.
Then down the elevator more answers come to me, followed by more questions.
Kyle was confused yesterday morning. He could tell something was bothering me, but he had no idea why I’d brought him to South Station. So clearly I hadn’t told him anything, and I wasn’t giving him time to adjust.
What was I playing at then? What was I planning on doing to Kyle? Was there some reason I couldn’t get through to Malone or anyone else at the camp Friday night? Or was I withholding information about Kyle on purpose?
“Are you malfunctioning?” Malone’s assistant asks.
I twitch and realize I’ve stopped in the middle of the doorway. But still—malfunctioning? Is she serious? Like I’m some CY? I pull my shoulders back. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”
“Then shut the door. You’re letting cold air in here.”
Shooting her a nasty look, I storm outside then hurry to the mess before it’s too late and I miss lunch. Malone has confidence in me. Cole has confidence. I’ll figure this out. The important thing is that I rediscovered who X is, and Malone’s sending people after him.
In order to avoid spending more awkward time with Cole, I take advantage of the fact that Malone rescinded his earlier order. I pass the afternoon doing the usual routine with my unit, and am relieved to see little of Fitzpatrick during it.
My head’s not in my training though. Malone might have been onto something when he said I’d been concentrating my recall effort on X. Now that I’ve retrieved the information, it’s like a blockage has been removed in my chip, or perhaps a circuit is reconnected. The speed with which my memories return increases. When I estimate the chunks of my life that are still unaccounted for, I decide I might be back to normal by late tomorrow morning.
This is distracting because it’s hard to focus on anything else. But this is good because some of those gaping holes can’t be closed fast enough. Unfortunately, the remaining memories continue to return randomly. Or what appears random to me. I suspect what’s happening is that each memory triggers another memory, and these triggers spread out like a web in my brain. There’s a pattern, but I’m not consciously aware of it.
I make a note of this theory for Malone. Finally, something that makes sense.
Nothing else does, but I have to trust the rest of my confusion will clear. So I turn my worrying to a new question: what will Kyle say when he learns the truth about me?
I want to see him so badly and make sure he’s okay, yet this new fear is almost as bad as the old. It would have been easier if he was the enemy. Then we’d be even. I was lying; he was lying. Even if we worked for opposing sides, he’d understand what I’d done and the reasons why. He couldn’t look down on me for using AnChlor at RTC, or breaking into his room, or any hundred other things that were legally dubious but ethically right because if he were the enemy, then he would have been working on a mission that was ethically wrong.
My choices were the right ones, weren’t they?
I can’t help but think that if I truly believed that, then I wouldn’t feel so anxious about Kyle’s opinion.