Friday Night: Two Days Ago
My shoes clack across the tiles as I pace in the bathroom. Calm. I have to be calm and rational so I can plan. This is what I was trained for.
It’s so hard, though, when the stakes have gotten personal. Damn it, why can’t I turn these emotions off? I can shut down most of my conscious awareness in order to survive torture, but there’s no middle setting. No partial shutdown.
I kick a trash can in frustration, which is not the best move in open-toed dress shoes. Wincing, I quit pacing and smooth down my dress. Back in the hotel ballroom, the music changes. They’re playing “Purgatory” by Gutterfly, one of my favorites. What I wouldn’t give to be normal and out there dancing like everyone else.
On that thought, I can’t stay in here much longer before someone comes looking for me or before Kyle starts asking questions. So I have to focus.
Realistically, I only have one option. It’s not a great one, either, but time is getting short. The Four are powerful, and Malone-Harris-whoever is getting impatient. I’m no pushover, but I’m only one person and they’re many. Plus, I have an innocent life to protect, a guy who might not even realize he’s in danger.
Or does he? Is that the meaning of everything I found on his computer? Was Kyle keeping track of people he thought might have it in for him? I’ll have to ask.
And that brings me to my next problem: can I go through with it? Can I destroy, well, pretty much everything I’ve lived for my entire life?
I sniff the corsage Kyle got me, a single peach rose that matches my dress, and my stomach rolls. Bad idea. Lowering my wrist, I stare at my reflection. The lights give my skin a greenish cast, but I meet my eyes.
I asked myself the wrong question. It’s not: can I go through with it? It’s: who am I—Seven or Sophia?
My reflection stares back, hard and unyielding. I am both, it tells me. I am a soldier. I am a spy. I am one of the good guys. I am the girl who can go through with it because the alternative means I’m not the girl I want to be. So be it. Tomorrow I do what I was created to do, no matter how unpleasant and difficult it is.
“Soph, you in here?” Audrey peeks her head in the doorway.
I run my trembling fingers through the tendrils of hair curled around my face. “I’m coming.”
“You all right?” she asks as I meet her in the lobby.
“Yeah. I started not feeling well, but I’m okay now. Where’s Kyle?” His blood is drying to a rusty brown on the floor. Audrey and I step around it.
“Chase found him a bandage.” Audrey opens the door to the dance, and the sudden change in volume assaults my ears. “Can you believe he bled that much for such a little cut?”
Little cut, my ass. Given the amount of blood, I’d bet Kyle broke his thumb and smashed the nail off good and proper. Not that there’d be any evidence of it now.
“Seriously, it’s amazing how much little cuts can bleed sometimes.”
Kyle’s hanging out at an empty table with Chase. I need to get him away so we can talk privately.
He takes my hand. “What happened? You ran out of there so fast.”
I pull him up and drag him to a deserted area along the wall. With the music so loud, no one nearby should hear us. “It’s not that. I don’t like blood, and it caught up to me all at once. At first, I was worried about you, so it didn’t hit me. Then suddenly it was whoa—I got kind of woozy and needed to get out of there. Sorry.”
Kyle laughs, then bites his lip trying to hide it. “Wouldn’t have expected that from you.”
“Shut up.” I pinch his arm. “So, I was thinking about what else happened back in the bathroom.”
“Yeah?” His grip on my hand tightens, and I don’t think he’s aware of it. It’s not the grip of someone who’s injured, but I won’t point that out.
My stomach twists. This is my best plan—my only feasible plan. Kyle has to go for it. I don’t dare tell him the truth here because I don’t know how he’ll react. Besides, whatever his reaction, I need to be ready for it, and I’m not. Not yet.
I rub my thumb across his hand, hoping to cover my true intentions with something flirtatious except I’ve never felt less flirtatious in my life. “We need to get away from campus. Just the two of us for a weekend.”
Kyle shifts against the wall, pulling me closer so my body presses against him. I can feel every rise and fall of his chest and the hard planes of his stomach. “Away, huh? So staying here tonight isn’t going to be enough for you?” He smiles mischievously.
If only I’d figured everything out sooner, it would have been. But Kyle’s been drinking, which makes this not the ideal time to tell him the truth. Plus my supplies are hidden on campus, and he should have at least one change of clothes with him when we run. We can pick up what we need tomorrow morning. Time is running out, but not so quickly that I need to panic.
I slide my hands around his waist, and my body enjoys his immediate reaction, though my brain refuses to be distracted. “With all the alcohol you guys snuck into the rooms, I doubt I’m going to be getting the quality alone time I want.” I reach up and kiss his chin.
Kyle stiffens, and I know I have him. “Okay, I’m in. So are you talking another night out or—?”
“Starting with a whole day. We’ll leave the hotel early, go back to campus, pack an overnight bag and just get the hell out. We’ll go wherever the mood strikes us. Wild and free, right?”
“And totally crazy, but why not? It’s not like I’d rather spend the weekend cramming for finals.” He bends over to kiss me, and I sink into him, relief and longing finally purging my brain of some of my anxiety.
The heat spreading through my body is so intense I want to burn up, and for a moment I consider telling Kyle the truth now. The need to protect him is so fierce it’s as painful as the way my body longs for his touch. But I shake off the thought for all the reasons I already decided it was bad.
He runs his uninjured thumb down my throat and slips under the bodice of my dress, and I catch my breath. “If we go up to the room now, we might have it to ourselves for a little while.”
I close my eyes because despite my worrying—or possibly because of it—I’m ready to slide out of my dress right here. After tomorrow, everything between us will change. Saving Kyle might mean losing him, and though I have to risk it, I dread the outcome. So even if it’s for just one more time, I want to feel my skin against his, I want to wrap my legs around him, and I want to breathe in his scent.
Even if all we have is a little while, I have to make it count. We have to be wild and free, because tomorrow I have to convince him to fly away.