I sit on the athletic committee of a club to which I belong. At my first meeting, each of the new members introduced himself or herself to the group. After I introduced myself and shared that I teach communication skills for a living, one of the members said, “Did you ever teach at American Express?” I said I had, but that it had been at least 10 years since I had been there. He said, “I remember you. I took your class. You told this story about your daughter and how even as an infant she had great eye contact.” He then recounted a line or two from the story. He remembered the teaching point from the program because of the story, and he remembered the story because stories stick with us.
Every story has a beginning, middle, and end. Well . . . most stories eventually end. One of my uncles told stories that went on for so long that his behavior became a family joke. Every time Henry said, “That reminds me of . . .,” eyes would start to roll. A minute into the story, my father, Henry’s brother, would clear his throat. Two minutes in, and my mother would get up and ask if anyone wanted more coffee, anything to get out of the room. Three minutes in, and Henry’s wife, Susan, would say, “Get to the point, dear. What happened?” Henry was slow on the uptake, so he always insisted, “I’m getting there. I have to set the stage first.”
We all have an Uncle Henry in our lives. Don’t be Uncle Henry.
Stories should sound unrehearsed. That said, it’s important to know how you’re going to start and how you’re going to finish. All good stories start and end the same way. “Once upon a time. . .,” and “They all lived happily ever after.” All stories begin with a line that, to Uncle Henry’s point, sets the stage. They usually begin with a time or place that establishes context. “When I first came to work here,” or “Late last week,” or “There’s this pub just outside of Dublin. . . .”
Since your stories connected with business issues should be short and pithy, even the opening line should somehow be relevant to the point of your story.
“When I first came to work here” is actually an important detail, as the storyteller now leads us through how processes have evolved over the years she has been at the firm.
“Late last week” is the setup for why we need to change course with a strategic initiative, because new developments warrant a shift in resources.
The pub in Ireland is important because the storyteller is about to share with us how cultural nuances will impact our ability to build our brand overseas (and because fun things always happen in pubs in Ireland).
The middle of the story should explain the struggle and build tension. You’re explaining a problem that once threatened a company’s growth or jeopardized a new initiative. Later in the story, you will show how the lesson learned in that situation is what led you to your suggestion for addressing today’s challenge. The length of the story and the details you choose to share will vary depending on your audience and purpose. Decide what you want to accomplish, and include only those details.
In addition to knowing your first line, you need to know your ending line. We tell stories in a business context because we want to make a point. Make that point clear. You don’t have to end by saying, “The point of the story is. . . .” but you have to come pretty close to that. Two people can hear the same story and derive completely opposite conclusions about the point you are trying to convey. You can both make it easier for your audience and control the message you want them to hear by ending with: “That’s why it’s so important that we. . . .”
When my colleagues and I teach presentation skills, we are often asked by participants if they should start a presentation with a joke or use humor when presenting. If you are going to tell a humorous story, and you have the skills to do so, by all means do. It helps you reveal a different aspect of yourself to your audience. When people listen to you, they want to know that they are getting the genuine you. If there is some artifice, some hesitancy in your delivery, or an awkwardness that suggests they are listening to a contrived or an artificial version of you, they are less likely to trust your content. Using humor effectively adds depth to your overall delivery. That said, it’s not without danger.
Two years ago, I was working with a small group of law firm partners on presentation skills. During a break in the program, one of them approached me and said with a grin, “I’m thinking of being a little jocular in my next presentation.” I thought, “Dear God, please don’t.” I said, “Well, let’s talk about it,” and then convinced him it wouldn’t be a good idea.
Using humor in a presentation is like the price of a diamond: If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. The law firm partner mentioned above had two issues. First, he was “thinking about” being funny. Funny people don’t think about being funny. They just know how to be funny. They may have to think about what part of a story or word choice will make people smile or chuckle, but they don’t reflect on whether to be funny. Second, he used the word “jocular.” If you use the word “jocular,” you’re not funny.
If you are going to tell a funny story to make a point, here are some ground rules.
Be careful about going negative. Do not make fun of other people, and in a sales context don’t bash the competition. No one respects someone doing that. You can poke fun at yourself, lightly, and only once in any one meeting or presentation. One comment or short anecdote about how you failed to hit the mark or had a minor blunder helps set up your point about learning from your mistakes and how, going forward, you learned to do your job better. More than one story, funny or not, about how you failed at a work task makes people question your competence. Two or three funny but negative comments about yourself make people start to feel bad for your therapist.
In short, think about it this way: There are no points taken off your overall impact for having a very straightforward delivery. People don’t expect you to be Jimmy Fallon. You do lose ground, however, if you try to be funny and fail. Know yourself. Be comfortable with and true to yourself. That’s far more important than getting a laugh.