A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

—MARK TWAIN

Tell People About Your Success

I have a friend who is extremely accomplished and also extremely wealthy. Uber-wealthy, as they say. But one day he called me up to see if I could get him reservations at Jean Georges Restaurant and I had to ask myself, “What’s the point of his immense success if he can’t even get a reservation in New York?” The only reason he can’t is because no one has ever heard about him. He’s shy about using his name, to the extent that it serves him no good. He has to call other people, like me, to help him out.

That got me to thinking about the toot-your-own-horn theory, which is something I believe in. Here’s a perfect example of why I believe in it. This poor rich guy might as well be just a poor guy when trying to get in the right places. The power of a name can be incredible. It can open doors like nothing else. A lot of people might have been richer than Aristotle Onassis, but when people heard the name Onassis, they knew who he was. I’ve mentioned before that one of the perks of being famous is being able to get restaurant reservations without any problem. My uberrich friend has not entitled himself to very many perks.

Ever notice if you introduce someone and then later add on something like, “as you know, he won the Pulitzer prize,” that the reaction to the person becomes entirely different? It goes from polite to excited in no time flat. Suddenly the nobody is a somebody. Suddenly their PR power, or their buzz effect, has escalated. But unless you have someone around to toot your horn for you, you’ll have to get accustomed to doing it for yourself. The well-established brand name literally speaks for itself. Some people may not even like the designs Karl Lagerfeld comes up with for Chanel, but because it says Chanel, they’ll buy them, wear them, and love them.

A name can speak volumes, but until you have a “household name” you might do well to tell people who you are and what you’ve done. It’s a start. It’s also a way of networking to find out if you might have common interests. Can you imagine if Luciano Pavarotti had been singing, contentedly, in some obscure place his whole life, what we would have missed? Or if Elton John was happy to just sing for himself in a garage somewhere? There’s nothing wrong with bringing your talents to the surface.

Having an ego and acknowledging it is a healthy choice. Our ego is the center of our consciousness and gives us a sense of purpose. People with no ego will have very little life force, and people with too much will tend toward dictatorial personalities. As with everything, keeping a good balance is important. Your ego can serve to keep your momentum moving forward. It can keep you vibrant and productive. It can keep your focus where it should be, which is on your work. After awhile, you won’t have to tell people about your success because they’ll already know about it. Do not disregard your ego.

It’s very important to be your own best friend. As Mark Twain put it, be comfortable with your own approval. A lot of times, people will enjoy belittling your accomplishments as well as your ambitions. If you are steadfast in your self-respect, that will not even bother you because you will be able to see those people as the small fries that they are. Critics serve their own purpose, and that’s fine, because you’ll be smart enough to serve your own purpose, too. Think about it: If you can’t say great things about yourself, who do you think will? So don’t be afraid to toot your own horn when you’ve done something worth tooting about. Let’s end with another statement from Mark Twain: “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”