Captain Sandra Snyman(36)Captain of the supersonic vessel, the Airship Equity. She is a resilient person who has battled sexism, racism and poverty to attain a leadership position in the National Intelligence Agency. She is now pitted against a variety of complex forces which threaten to destabilise her ship and the city of Durban.
Lieutenant Sizwe Khumalo(35)The Airship’s second-in-command, a strong and committed officer who is also the nephew of South Africa’s deputy president. He was once romantically involved with Captain Snyman and this, together with her scepticism about his exact reasons for being on board the ship, creates tension between them. He is also distrustful of Dr Johnson, which leads to regular confrontations between them.
Dr David Johnson(42)A renegade American scientist and the Airship’s chief designer as well as its supervising officer on all operations. He is seemingly very committed to the effective functioning of the Airship but his combative attitude places him in regular conflict with his senior officers.
Bobby, the androidAn artificial life-form with a variety of technical skills, created by Dr Johnson and his assistant, Dr Moodley. Bobby is the Airship’s ground liaison officer and he becomes increasingly eccentric and wayward as his involvement with the Airship’s mission deepens.
Julio Masimola(30)The youth leader of the ruling party, he is extremely ambitious and fascinated with the Airship Equity. He attempts to manipulate Khumalo into motivating for him to replace Dr Johnson as the Airship’s supervising officer.
Luke Jedison(33)One of the engineers who constructed the Airship but was subsequently dismissed by Dr Johnson. He has a fiery personality and is working in secret with Lieutenant Khumalo.
Agent 24-7 DX, a cyborg He was “re-engineered” by the American government after the Iraqi war. He is a senior officer on another Airship which appears late in the play.
N.B: Agent 24-7 DX should be played by the actor who plays Bobby.
The bridge of the Airship Equity and the Durban CBD.
Duped is set in present day South Africa, nearly twenty years into democracy. However, the events of the play could quite easily have occurred in the recent past or quite conceivably may occur in the near future, and in many places in the world other than South Africa. The themes of corporate greed, government corruption, the abuse of power and human deception are of universal significance, hence the involvement of the international community in the play and the neutral reference to the ruling party of South Africa as “the Party”. The use of a supersonic vessel to facilitate the action of the play is both an acknowledgment of rapid technological advancement worldwide and of South Africa’s increasing role in world politics.
However, with the author being South African and wanting to write about South Africa in general and Durban in particular, he explores many of the major socio-political issues in current day South Africa. The post-Mbeki era has been characterised by economic uncertainty, widespread public sector corruption, violent service delivery protests, increasing state repression and the dumbing down of our political discourse. Many commentators believe that South Africa, and the ruling party in particular, is fighting for its soul. It has also become intolerable for the majority of South Africans to still be living in poverty. Duped explores these controversial issues whilst also acknowledging that there are several individuals in power who are fighting against this descent into rampant corruption and greed.
The title Duped is a clear indication that deception is characterising much of South Africa’s current public discourse and also that the play has many twists and turns.
The stage is divided into two clear portions: The Bridge of the Airship, which occupies the bulk of the stage; and a fair portion of left stage, which is designated for Ground Action, usually featuring characters who appear on the Airship’s screen, to communicate with the Airship’s crew. A giant screen appears at the back of left stage, with projections of a variety of imagery to depict the setting and/or action of a particular scene. The projections could be literal or symbolic. The Airship’s Bridge has two consoles and two revolving chairs. The consoles contain complex electronic communications systems and a weapons arsenal, but this can be hidden from the audience. There are two small cabinets on the right side of the bridge, one containing handheld weapons and the other different types of equipment. At the back of the bridge, there is a magnetic door or some kind of sophisticated entry/exit point. Various items of African symbolic significance, in the form of sculptures and crafts, could be placed on the bridge. The rest of the set is at the discretion of the designer and director.
This is merely a basic sketch of the layout. No flatage is depicted.
Lights come up on Captain Snyman standing over an unconscious Julio Masimola. Lieutenant Sizwe Khumalo is lying on the ground, a little distance away. Khumalo stirs, regaining his consciousness as Captain Snyman grabs Masimola by the collar and shakes him wildly.
Wake up! Wake up, you overweight, under-skilled, semi-literate thug.
Sandra… aw, my head… what’s happening?
I think I might have just killed Julio Masimola.
What… surely not. What happened after he knocked me out?
He tried to knock me out.
He tried to knock you out.
Knock me out or knock me up. After he threw his phone at you and you accidentally fell over and hit your head, he sprang onto me. Like a half-Italian, half-Hispanic gangster on crack.
That’s quite a spring.
I wrestled him off, but then he pulled out a knife, so I clobbered him. Somehow. He fell awkwardly on the console and now he’s bleeding profusely.
He’s an animal.
And our national youth leader. I’ve killed the man who might have been the next President.
So let’s all go home then.
This is no time to be flippant, Lieutenant Khumalo. (Khumalo checks Masimola’s pulse.)
He’s not dead. But his pulse is faint. Did you call Dr. Vawda?
Yes, but I can’t get through to him, or the paramedics. I think Masimola tampered with our communication system.
Okay, let’s get him into the Ranger. We’ll race to the nearest hospital.
We can’t get out. Don’t you remember that when he came onto the bridge, he sealed the exits with his device? It has a code which only he knows.
Oh yes. It’s coming back to me now.
What are we going to do? The Zebras are scheduled to be here shortly. They’ll be able to force open the doors. If they find him like this… (Pause)
Maybe we should just let him die. I mean, he attacked us. We can convince the Zebras. Maybe I should finally use the fact that I’m the Deputy President’s nephew.
We can’t just let him die.
Ja, I know. I was just fantasising about how wonderful life would be if I didn’t have to listen to him trying to sing like Michael Jackson again. (Pause)
What do we do?
I’ve stopped the bleeding. He should be alright until the Zebras get here.
And what story do we tell them? (Pause)
There is another way. (Pause. Khumalo contemplates; Snyman wonders.) We have this. (He takes out a computer chip.) I took it off Johnson.
I don’t believe it. You sly fox. But… I don’t know. It’s so deceptive.
It’s the best way out. (Pause)
How did it come to this? Wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago that we were hovering over my old home town – pretty little Durban.
Complex little Durban.
It all became so complex. My head is spinning. It’s all a blur. How did it all begin?
It began with this moron.
Slow fade to blackout.
Theme music plays.
Lights come up on Captain Snyman and Lieutenant Khumalo as they find themselves battling an unknown aircraft. This is two weeks prior to the first scene. There is a loud bang and Snyman and Khumalo struggle to stay on their feet, both grabbing the consoles.
What is going on Lieutenant? What aircraft is that?
It’s a jet, but it has a battering ram attached to it. It’s knocking us about.
Geez, we just get to KZN and already we’re under attack.
Oh no, the pilot is flashing the blue lights.
What? We now have blue light vehicles transporting Ministers by air?
You know what they say Captain. If you don’t get out of the way of the blue light, you’ll see the white light.
Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to pander to this moron. Shields up and engage the tracker. (Another loud bang.)
Shields are down Captain. We’ve also sustained damage to Supervision.
We’re still cloaked right?
No Sandra, er Captain. We’re exposed.
So the people below can all see us?
It’s okay. At the moment we’re hovering over Pinetown. People here are always seeing things.
Who is this moron?
Captain, I just realised who it is. It’s Julio Masimola!
Julio Masimola!
Yes. I just recalled that he was given this jet as a special gift at the last great party of the Party.
So they’re giving him toys to fly now. It wasn’t enough that he nearly killed those innocent school kids with the Porsche they gave him.
Captain, Julio Masimola is hailing us.
On screen.
Lights come up on Masimola as he appears ‘on screen’. He is eating a doughnut and sipping a coke. He grins sheepishly.
What the hell is wrong with you Masimola? You have damaged vital equipment on the Airship Equity.
Ow, ow, ow. That is not the way good ladies speak.
Don’t give me your patriarchal shit. I’m not the kind of gal you’re used to. I don’t care who you are. I’m captain of this vehicle and we’re on a vital mission.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Don’t burn your bra. You’re like an over-eager Sangoma trying to boast to the local chief. The only reasons you are captain of the airship is that your mother once washed the dishes of the Minister of Safety and Security and Dr. Johnson has his roving eye on you. And they accuse me of nepotism.
Look, whatever you think of me personally, you still have no right to attack this ship.
I’m testing its capabilities. You said it was on a vital mission.
Testing its capabilities? Are you joking?
I never joke. Except in the newspapers. Your ship is supposed to be able to cloak, so you cannot be seen in the sky while you can see all the major spots in the city. You are supposed to have awesome firepower and fly at ten times the speed of sound. Yet my little jet was making you sweat.
How do you know so much about the Airship? It was never revealed in any detail to your organisation.
They tell me more than you know Khumalo.
I’m surprised your brain can absorb that much information.
Be careful Khumalo. You’re like an overpaid rapper with a big mouth but no poetry. Your uncle won’t be able to protect you much longer – his time is nearly up.
That’s the same uncle you fought so hard to try to make President. The one you said you’d sacrifice your Porsche, your Sandton mansion and your snake skin golf shoes for.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Don’t make me seem like a black diamond, you coconut! And don’t think I’m stupid, what because you think I got a fat stomach and a small head. You focus on the terrorists you have to catch – ja, the Islamic fundamentalists who you are battling to locate.
How does he have all this information?
He obviously has some top dog on a leash. The Party wants to gag the media… imagine if this ou starts talking.
Look here now. Listen carefully. I’m going to show you a special DVD, starring yours truly. Also featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Michael Jackson. It was recorded at the rally at Moses Mabida Stadium yesterday. You’ll see that the people love me. They want me to lead them in the future. So you better do your job and stop these thugs hurting our friends from BRICS. Or who knows, you might have to answer to me. And Khumalo – you try to make me seem like an idiot again and I’ll use my little jet to knock you and your big ship down into KwaMashu. And then you can try to convince my brothers that you really are a Zulu boy. Bye bye. Enjoy the show!
Special dims. Then flickering of colourful lights. Blackout.
Special comes up on Masimola ‘on screen’. He is now wearing a jacket and cowboy hat and is in the middle of a speech.
My critics say that I’m a narrow Africanist. (Points to his body.) But I am not narrow in any way. (Sounds of crowd laughing.) Some people say that I want to enrich myself and members of my organisation. That I have no respect. That I hate white people. I say to those people, like Samuel L. Jackson said in Pulp Fiction (impersonates Jackson, reading from a cue card): ‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.’ (Sounds of crowd saying ‘Hallelujah’.) And so I say to my African people, and to my Indian brothers and sisters, my coloured brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, my white friends-of-my-children, my Zimbabwean neighbours and employees, my local Chinese take-away proprietor, I say to you… I say… damn, I lost my train of thought. That’s why I shouldn’t drink so much imported sherry at a five star Ballito hotel the night before a big rally, hey? (Sounds of people saying ‘Yay’.) Anyway, as my father, the great activist, performance poet, and collector of rare coins said to me on his death bed last year, ‘Son, some people will say that you don’t deserve your wealth, your turbo charged sports car, your Sandton mansion… but I fought against Apartheid so that you could have this. And you have sacrificed so much for the Party… so you deserve more – a holiday cottage in Cape Town, a chance to eat sushi in Tokyo, and your own golf course.’ And he also said, ‘You must carry on fighting for a non-racial South Africa, a country where all the people have opportunities, where the children are not hungry, where the people stand together…’ (Sounds of loud cheers.) People, we must stand as one and do what the King of Pop, the greatest artist ever, says we must do. (He sings the chorus of Michael Jackson’s ‘Heal the World’. At the end the people cheer wildly.) Power to the people! Power to the people!
Blackout.
Lights come up on Snyman and Khumalo who look bemused.
What the…
It’s South Africa’s got talent, Idols and Dr. Phil wrapped into one.
Masimola is just becoming too much of a showman.
Showman. He is more dangerous than that.
Yes, you’re right… he’s becoming a menace.
But our senior leaders let him get away with it.
Some of them disapprove.
Well their voices aren’t loud enough.
It’s party politics… look, it’s more complex than you think.
Really?
Yes Lieutenant. I’m sure you’re not completely cynical about our leadership. Otherwise you wouldn’t be on this mission.
It’s just… look, I’m a little disturbed. I mean, you heard what Masimola said – he might know more about this mission than we do.
What do you mean?
Do you think we’re getting the full picture?
You’ve read our brief… it’s quite comprehensive.
So you really believe that there are Islamic fundamentalists hiding in KZN?
It’s plausible…
And you think that they’re planning a complicated attack on the ICC during the BRICS conference?
Look, Sizwe… I don’t understand… if you don’t believe it, then why are you here? I mean, you requested to be on this ship Sizwe… when Lieutenant Shabalala resigned, you asked the police commissioner to get you on this ship.
Maybe I just wanted to be your second in command. Relive our days at the Intelligence Academy.
Don’t be flippant.
I’m not. I was really excited about working with you again. I haven’t seen you for five years.
Is that why you tried to kiss me after five minutes at the cocktail party last night?
I just lost control for a minute.
Forget about it. You apologised.
Look Sandra, I’m just asking some questions… I’m not against you. I mean, I’ve only been here three weeks… and it’s been training, meetings, briefings… David Johnson giving us more perilous news each day… now Julio Masimola gives us his rhetoric… I just haven’t had a chance to connect with you… to talk seriously. (Pause)
Why did you really come on board the Airship Sizwe?
The same reason you did. To make a difference. Just like we said we would at the academy. (Pause)
You know, when they told me that you were coming on board I was… I didn’t know exactly how I felt. I remembered the young warrior with whom I had spent many interesting days at the academy. And the passionate man who gave me comfort on those long winter nights. The man who then decided to explore Europe for four years… and when he came back… to be a consultant for the Legal Resources Centre. I mean… you say you want to do what we promised to do at the academy… but you haven’t done any of that.
I’m here now, aren’t I? Look Sandra, I’m the Deputy President’s nephew. You know that after the academy they had a clear path mapped out for me. But the Party was hijacked by those cronies… and my uncle got caught in the middle… there was so much stress for my family. So I ran away. For a while. But I’m back. And I’m no Julio Masimola.
I didn’t say that. I know you’re not that.
I’m just saying… okay. (Pause) I still believe in the dream… a new nation to inspire Africa… until the Masimolas came to the fore… before this orgy of greed– (Khumalo is interrupted by loud clapping off stage.)
Wow! So moving. I couldn’t have said it better in a Hollywood movie myself.
Who is that?
Dr. Johnson? Is that you?
Right on Captain. Brace yourself officers… I’m coming through. (Johnson enters the bridge.) Good day, Captain Snyman, Lieutenant Khumalo.
Were you spying on us?
Absolutely not. I’m not with the CIA, Lieutenant Khumalo. You left the intercom on. Still learning the basic features of this complex machine, hey big boy? Now the whole ship knows your feelings about cronyism and the Party’s evolution.
I couldn’t have left it on… (He checks the console.)
At ease Lieutenant. You could only be heard in the senior officers’ quarters. And they’re all in engineering. To be heard in the whole ship, you have to press… or what the Hell… you’ll figure it out. After all, you come highly recommended. By the President himself.
What are you doing here now sir? I thought you were coming on board this evening.
The timetable has shifted–
Again.
Yes, again Lieutenant. Our latest intelligence report reveals that the terrorist organisation has recruited the services of Mohammed Shaik Ali Khan–
Wait a minute… Mohammed Shaik Ali Khan… the man who is on the American and Indian governments’ most wanted lists.
The same.
He’s here, hiding out somewhere in KZN?
Why is that so hard to believe Lieutenant? This is a landmark BRICS conference. The Chinese and Indians are likely to endorse significant trade agreements with South Africa and a delegation from the International Monetary Fund will be here too. It’s a great opportunity for the terrorists to take out some big Indian and world leaders. Did you not absorb your brief?
My brief changes every day.
The world changes every day. I’m just trying to protect our little patch.
Our little patch… the American scientist who’s now the saviour of the rainbow nation.
That’s precious coming from a Zulu who ran away to Europe.
Hey, I love my country. Just because I lived in England doesn’t make me English. I’m an African.
And you don’t think I am?
I think… look, you’ve only been here for six years… you know so little about us. And you may be a brilliant scientist, but you’re in no position to supervise a military operation.
I received full combat training in the States Lieutenant. It wasn’t just basic drills. Oh, you look surprised. Your background check on me wasn’t so thorough after all, hey? Look Khumalo, I know you don’t like me and in the few weeks I’ve encountered you I can safely say I’m not sharing my Texan chilli recipe with you–
Don’t expect any pap and vleis from me–
Stop it! Both of you. I’m tired of this testosterone overload. (Johnson does some yoga. Khumalo is bemused.)
What are you doing?
It’s yoga. I’m calming myself. I’m not going to fight with my officers. But I would like to remind them that the Minister of Safety and Security has given me ultimate jurisdiction over the Airship. This is my brainchild. I conceived–
We know who’s boss, Dr. Johnson.
Let’s not use old fashioned terms Captain. I am… a guide.
What, like a yoga instructor?
Don’t be infantile Khumalo.
Speaking about infantile, we saw one of South Africa’s funniest home videos today. Featuring Julio Masimola.
Yes, I know. He sent me a copy too. He’s an idiot, but he has the support of some senior ministers. So what can we do?
He also banged into the Airship with his jet and damaged some of our systems.
What? That moron! Oh, I’m sick of his ego-driven shit. Bloody black diamond! He knows nothing about struggle. The Party just gives him everything. (He calms down and does some yoga.)
That’s it then. Some noise followed by some poise.
What little you know of spirituality Khumalo.
You want to talk to me about spirituality – please…
What? Hmm? What have I done?
Your pal – the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks – he’s facing countless corruption and money laundering charges as you know… and I hear he’s going to say a lot about you during his trial.
That’s enough Lieutenant. Let’s focus on the real issues.
Yes Captain. The real issues. That’s to ensure that we don’t embarrass ourselves with the world’s eyes upon us. And that we protect the city of Durban from terrorists. Now, it’s time I introduced you to your ground liaison officer.
Ground liaison officer?
Yes. He’s our link to the terrorists. He’s been working undercover for the last month. He penetrated the business group who’ve been working with the terrorists – you know the hotel magnates. It’s in your brief.
There’s nothing about a ‘ground liaison officer working undercover’ in our brief.
That’s because it wasn’t necessary for you to know until now.
Why?
Because this is a delicate operation. The playing field changes all the time. We had to be sure that my man was trusted by the hotel magnates. Now we know he’s in.
So who is your man?
An extraordinary ‘man’. He’s an android.
An android?
Yep Lieutenant. An android. He was invented by me and Dr. Moodley – a visionary scientist from Cape Town. We just perfected him a few months ago. We call him Bobby. He’s hard working, super smart, takes any orders, he’s a brilliant chef, can sell you anything, and he has a photographic memory. Plus he can sing and dance. And he loves horseracing and playing cards. Come in Bobby!
Bobby enters. He is wearing traditional Muslim garb.
Dr. Moodley wants to make more but this is the prototype.
You mean stereotype.
Come on Captain. In the few years I’ve been here, I’ve realised that everybody loves a good Indian stereotype. Greet the officers Bobby.
Good day Captain Snyman, Lieutenant Khumalo. Howzit vying lahnees? Lieutenant Khumalo, why you looking so glum? Strong Zulu boy like you… hot coloured cherry like the Captain… I thought there’ll be more explosions here than we expect at the ICC! (Johnson laughs loudly. Snyman and Khumalo are shocked.)
This guy kills me.
If he’s our ground liaison officer, he might kill us too.
He’s the perfect undercover agent, Khumalo. Bobby is our best hope of locating the terrorists. You know what else Captain? Bobby is a chameleon. Give us your impression of a Pakistani terrorist Bobby.
Drop your Magnum 45 infidel! You’ve got no chance against a weapon of mass destruction.
And Hollywood pictures presents…
And how about an English educated Islamic fundamentalist, Bobby?
The issues are very simple gentlemen. We have to expose this European hypocrisy. Stand in solidarity with our Muslim brothers all over the world, and fight this American imperialism with courage and honour.
Oh what skill you have, dear android. Summarising such complex issues with such clarity.
How about showing us a Zulu warrior, Bobby? (Bobby pretends to be a Zulu warrior about to throw a spear.)
Shiaya wena! Shiaya wena!
Marvellous. Reducing thousands of years of Zulu culture to one simple movement.
That’s all for now Bobby. Now run along and make me a chicken bunny chow. I want it ready in ten minutes.
Hot or extra hot sir?
Better make it mild today Bob. I don’t want to get the runs when I’m talking to the KZN premier.
Bobby gives a thumbs up and hurriedly exits.
God help us!
Bobby is the only officer who can crack this thing open Khumalo. He’s involvement in this operation has been endorsed by the President himself. Check with your uncle boy. So, my android will receive your full co-operation. Understood?
Yes, Dr. Johnson.
I have to go. I’m meeting with the KZN premier. I’ll see you this evening with the other officers for a full debriefing. (He turns to go, then stops.) Oh, one last thing. It’s not official yet but there may be some American delegates at the conference. So Captain, you need to be extra cautious. My former countrymen have much more sophisticated detection systems than you South Africans. (Pause) You know, this delegation who may be coming suddenly… it’s just a little strange… they can’t possibly have found out about my being here… how would they have… look, just be careful. The Americans must never find out about the Airship, and that I’m living here, and built the damn thing. Understood?
Yes sir.
Of course, Dr. Johnson.
I’m keeping one of the supershuttles. So that I can come up to the Airship whenever I need. Good day officers.
Good day sir.
Johnson exits. Pause. Snyman contemplates. Khumalo tries to busy himself.
Right Lieutenant, I have to–
Sandra, I have to ask you something. Do you really trust David Johnson?
What kind of question is that Sizwe? He’s our commanding officer.
You’ve never been one to just take orders Sandra. Look, I’m just asking – do you think this guy is being honest with us?
This guy has been my supervising officer for the past year. He handpicked me to lead this ship. Overlooked a number of decorated male officers. And no, it wasn’t because he fancied my arse… it was because he knew I was the best person to lead this ship. Do you know the dirty looks and sexist shit I’ve endured from so many men in the Intelligence Agency? And on this ship…
I know… I know. I backed you at the academy when that happened.
I don’t like the dribs and drabs we’re receiving anymore than you do, Sizwe. But I have no reason, at this point, to doubt Johnson.
Alright… alright Sandra.
I need to know that you’re with me on this mission Lieutenant. One hundred percent.
I’m with you. I just think we’re in for a few more surprises than we expected in your old home town.
Slow fade to blackout.
Lights come up on Captain Snyman on the Airship bridge. She is speaking into a digital recorder.
Captain’s personal log. We are four days away from the conference. Some of the delegates have already arrived. They’ve been greeted by beautiful weather and a seemingly peaceful city. But I can’t help but feel that the Durban people are about to explode, just like the Joburg people have done. Poor service delivery, racial tension, economic uncertainty… how much longer before the streets are littered with violent protests and calls for regime change. (Pause) We’ve heard nothing from Bobby, apart from a review of the latest Bollywood movie. And we are no closer to locating the terrorists’ headquarters. (Pause) I just feel… I feel that I might be missing something… something big about all of this. (She stops talking into the recorder.) The dream I had last night… being held in the military prison… interrogated by Lieutenant Khumalo and Dr. Johnson… it feels like the universe, the subtle domain is trying to communicate something to me. But I’m not sure what it is. (Pause) Oh, why did Sizwe have to come on board now? It just makes things more complicated for me. And why is he really here? (Pause) As for Johnson… sometimes I want to… just boot that irritating American back to his phony homeland! I don’t care that he chose me… sometimes I can’t stand his arrogance! Calm down Sandra. Remember how to seem. This is just part of the journey… just part of the journey.
Lights fade to blackout.
Lights come up on Luke Jedison. He is on left stage, in disguise. He is wearing a skirt and blouse and a blonde wig. The screen reflects a garden setting. He responds to the glares of passers-by despite the fact that he is about to have a secret meeting.
What are you looking at Francois? Keep your eyes on your wife. She’s got some good meat on her bones. You don’t have to do any shopping at the park today. (Pause. He notices someone else looking at him.) Oh ja, you want some hey Sipho? You like the mixed-race babes, nah? Well, there’s no exotic desert for you today. Now get out of here before I skop you!
Lieutenant Khumalo enters and walks up to Jedison.
Hello Luke. Excellent disguise. It would be so effective if you weren’t drawing attention to yourself admonishing everyone who passes by in your husky voice.
Now I know what it feels like to be an attractive woman. Lustful men undressing you all the time.
I think these men may be a little disappointed if they actually undressed you.
No matter how smart you are, you can’t help being categorised as a sexy piece of arse.
Luke, you’re not going to be categorised as a sexy piece of arse. Now, if we can move away from gender stereotyping to political deception for a moment.
Hello Sizwe. How’s your sexy piece of arse… Sandra Snyman?
Luke, that’s inappropriate… she’s my Captain.
Just turn away and keep walking. He’ll never get anything until the sun has set.
Luke, concentrate. I don’t have much time.
I have less time than you, my black brother.
What do you mean?
I can’t take the shit at Elektra Engineering any longer Sizwe. Old style white bullies… token black directors just in it for a quick buck… so much back-biting from arrogant colleagues. I need to get out of there. Now.
Well, I need you with me in the next couple of days. We were right about Bongani. He’s with them.
So you really want me on the ship brother?
Absolutely. But I have to be sure that you’re up for this Luke. That you won’t let personal feelings get in the way of what we need to do.
That arsehole nearly ruined my life. But don’t worry, Lieutenant Khumalo, I won’t let my personal feelings get in the way.
Luke, it’s important that you–
Do you know what I heard yesterday Sizwe… from my insider friend in parliament? We have another corruption crisis to follow the case of the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks. Now the head of the Special Portfolio committee on Land Redistribution is accused of illegally pushing through deals for his relatives. And there are so many people who still don’t have decent toilets. When will it end?
It’ll never end. But we can help to make sure the system doesn’t completely collapse.
Julio Masimola enters, heavily disguised. He stands suspiciously behind Khumalo and Jedison, pretending to be a hawker selling his wares.
Hey Sizwe. That guy behind us looks very suspicious. He’s been watching us for a while. And now he’s moved closer. (Khumalo slowly looks over his shoulder.)
He’s just a hawker Luke. Don’t worry.
Howzit going, my lahnees? You want to buy something from me? Like this little Airship? Very cheap. I make everything myself.
No thanks. (They move a little away.)
He said Airship… Sizwe, I have an uneasy feeling. Is there anything else right now? (Khumalo takes out a small device from his pocket.)
I need to give you this. It allows me to be in contact with you without anyone ever being able to tap our conversation. I’ll pick you up visually as well, so whatever happens, the supershuttle will locate you.
Thank you brother. See you in the skies soon.
Take care Luke. And just stay calm.
Jedison exits. Masimola approaches Khumalo.
You sure you don’t want to buy anything, my friend? How about these beautiful beads for your girlfriend?
I said no!
Ow, ow, ow. No need to be so harsh, Lieutenant Khumalo.
What? Who are you?
Can’t you tell Lieutenant? I know I am a master of disguise, but can’t you make out my voice?
Jul – Julio Masimola?
That’s right Khumalo. (He removes his disguise.)
What’s all this for?
Just a bit of fun.
What do you want?
What’s the matter Khumalo? You tired of hovering in the sky, so you wanted a walk in the park?
And you tired of the hot air at your headquarters? So you wanted to get some fresh air out here.
Why did you just meet with Luke Jedison? Yes, I know who it was. He had a good disguise, but you can’t fool me. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of an elephant.
And the brain of a sparrow.
Hey, be careful Khumalo. You are always insulting me. I am going to tell the Party.
Shame, poor little fat boy. So you just happened to be at the park when I met Luke Jedison?
One of my sources told me that you were coming down to meet with someone. Something about a new lead that you had regarding the terrorists. I wanted to know who it was so I had my boys track you.
So now you know that I met Luke. So what? He’s an old friend. When we both lived in Joburg, we used to meet every Friday afternoon for a cappuccino and cheese cake special. And we often dressed in women’s clothing.
And now you just met to catch up. Please Khumalo! Even you can’t think that I’m such a big idiot. You are plotting something with Jedison. Imagine how Dr. Johnson would react if I told him that you had a secret meeting with the engineer that he fired.
Tell him. He’ll never believe you.
You really willing to take that chance Khumalo? (Pause) If you don’t do what I want, I will tell Captain Snyman, Dr. Johnson and my supporters in the Party what I just saw. And I have witnesses… they’ve taken photographs. See the ice-cream man – that’s the Youth League’s general secretary; and that one pretending to feed the ducks, that’s our treasurer; look at that guy, sitting on the bench, reading a book – he’s our communication’s officer… actually his future is not looking good – the book is upside down.
Wow, you guys would put the CIA to shame.
I could make a lot of trouble for you Khumalo. (Pause)
What do you want from me?
There are people in the Party who see me as the future leader of this country–
A small minority.
It doesn’t matter… they have big voices. But the President and the Deputy President are not convinced about me. I want to show them that I can be trusted. That I can run their most important secret project. Why must an imperialist American be in charge? I don’t care if he built it…
You want to run the Airship Equity project…
Yes. I can do it. And I want to do it.
You just want a bigger sky toy than the one they just gave you.
I want what’s best for my country. I deserve more responsibility. I have made many sacrifices for the Party. You have influence over the President and his Deputy. I want you to speak to your uncle and the Minister of Safety and Security as well. I want you to convince them that I’m the right man for the job.
You’re mad! I won’t do it.
Then you’ll have no future with the Airship too. So maybe you should reconsider. Here, have a snowball and coke to help you think.
Slow fade to blackout.
Lights come up on the Airship bridge. Captain Snyman and Dr. Johnson are on stage. Johnson is arguing with officials from Johannesburg via the ship’s electronic communication system.
I am not sending any supershuttles to Joburg! In case you’ve forgotten, we have a terrorist plot to deal with. I don’t care if protestors are tearing the city apart. You politicians messed up with your lack of service delivery, so you sort it out. The supershuttles stay in Durban. Johnson over and out. (To Snyman.) The audacity of those people. They think that they can push me into a corner. I’ll go straight to the President…
Tea sir?
What? No, I don’t want tea. I want some respect from those morons. You know, some people in the Party still don’t appreciate me. I built them a powerful tool to make a real difference. I’ve given them six years of devoted service. Even after my marriage to Lindiwe ended, I stayed on. I made South Africa my home… but no, I’m the brash American who ran away from his bullying superpower… who came to the Rainbow Nation to find the African Dream… with his African princess.
I think you’re exaggerating sir. Most of our leaders are very grateful for the contributions you’ve made.
I don’t agree Captain. Some of them are. I mean, I know that there are people in the Party who are hoping that I get implicated in the trial of the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks. (Pause. He does some yoga.) You know, it’s true that I left the States because I couldn’t compromise my value system any longer… and because I wanted to follow Lindiwe back here after I met her at the conference in L.A. But I stayed because I fell in love with South Africa. And its people. Not just one woman. I share the dream too. Do you believe that Captain? Do you trust me?
I think you feel passionately about my country, Dr. Johnson. And about the Airship. So do I.
A diplomatic answer.
Sir, we have a mission to complete. And we haven’t made much progress yet.
We’re making progress. Alright Captain, let’s stick to the business of the Airship. So when is Lieutenant Khumalo expected to return from his ‘meeting’?
Why do you put it like that?
Because I’m still wondering about who he is meeting.
I told you he’s following a lead which may help us locate the terrorists’ headquarters.
Yes, consulting a former drug lord whom he once sent to prison… hmm… like this guy would know where to find international terrorists in KwaZulu Natal. Do you know that Lieutenant Khumalo has shut off all his communication? Yeah, I tried to contact him earlier. Nothing.
There’s probably just some interference on the ground. I’m sure it’s nothing sinister.
Hmm. I think you need to keep a closer eye on your old academy friend. You know I chose you to lead this ship because you have many qualities which I admire. But mainly I prized your honesty and loyalty.
You don’t have to remind me of that.
Perhaps I do. Anyway, how’s your old hometown looking right now?
Is that tourist Durban or the other parts?
Both.
Well, the other parts look just as chaotic as the pictures they’re showing on TV of the Joburg CBD. But our TV cameras don’t go to the outskirts of Durban. Tourist Durban is looking beautiful as usual. People are having fun – at the theme parks, in the malls… there’ll be a lot more in an hour when work ends.
What about the beaches? Are they quiet? What’s happening at Rainbow Beach?
Rainbow Beach… hmm, it’s fairly lively. I mean, for a week day. The black bathers are enjoying themselves, but the whites are moving to the far right of the beach.
Perhaps they’re expecting a strong black wash. (He giggles to himself.)
The Indians seem to be acting as a buffer between the whites and the blacks. Most of the Indian men are happily playing cards. Some of the whites are trying to look Indian by seriously sunbathing, and some of the Indians are trying to look white by putting on far too much sunscreen.
But the fishermen are all together, right? No matter what their colour. I remember when I used to come down for the occasional weekend to Durban… I used to go fishing… and I’d meet so many interesting Indian and mixed-race fishermen… and we’d talk about–
Sir, Bobby is among the fishermen.
What? Bobby? On screen.
Lights come up on Bobby, who appears on screen and seems to be fighting with a fish. The screen could have a reflection of a seaside setting.
Come on. You are more difficult to hook than Ashwairya Rai.
Bobby… what the Hell are you doing? (Bobby is shocked and nearly falls over. He touches his earpiece.)
Captain, the shad is biting here. They’re coming in faster than a Sachin Tendulkar hook shot.
So you’re a fisherman now?
I’m working undercover boss. I’ve been trying to hook some fishy characters who work with the hotel magnates. I nearly caught one yesterday, but he got away. They’re meeting some loan sharks here today, so I’m just casting some bait.
And what about the meeting with Mohammed Shaik Ali Khan?
Oh, hello Dr. Johnson. Don’t worry sir. I’m meeting him this afternoon.
Good. I want–
Hold on sir. A shoal of sardines has washed ashore. The fishermen are fighting each other for it. I’ll sort it out.
Bobby, don’t blow your cover.
Don’t worry sir. Hey! (He takes out a badge.) I’m going to distribute these fish in terms of the Fisheries Equity Act. (He picks up the fish.) Right. Two packets for the black fishermen; one packet for the coloured fishermen; half a packet for the Indian fishermen. Oh, I’m sorry… there’s nothing left for the white fishermen. Hard luck chaps. You can have some bait. (Bobby begins weaving and ducking.) Hey. Stop that! (He runs off stage.)
Sir, the white fishermen are assaulting Bobby.
Oh no! Get the Zebras on the scene now!
Yes sir.
I suppose I’d better get down there myself. In case they’ve disrupted Bobby’s systems. You know, Dr. Moodley wanted Bobby to have the capacity to aspire to be human. But I told him to restrict that capacity during this mission. And to tone down his cultural chip. I don’t think he listened. Damn it! I can’t have this erratic behaviour now. Okay Captain, I’m outta here. Keep a steady ship Sandra.
Johnson exits. Snyman busies herself on the console for a few seconds. Then the console beeps.
Lieutenant Khumalo. Where are you?
Lights come up on Khumalo on left stage. The screen reflects a market setting.
Captain, is it okay for me to talk? Otherwise put me on your private monitor.
It’s okay Sizwe. The other officers are on break. Listen Sizwe, Dr. Johnson was asking what you’re doing down there. Where are you?
Right now, I’m at the Victoria Street Market. It’s just a little indulgence. I didn’t get any info from my contact, so I thought I’d temper my disappointment with some of Durban’s legendary spicy chai and chilli bites.
Bad Lieutenant.
I learned from you, good Captain. You remember how you led me astray on several afternoons at the academy… blast the penology lectures you’d say… let’s go to Calvin’s café for some chilli and chai.
That was a long time ago.
It feels like yesterday to me. Anyway, guess what? I met your uncle, Charlie, here at the market. He’s got a new stall here, selling veg.
That foul-mouthed fool. I’m surprised you still remember him.
How could I forget? He threatened to rearrange my anatomy when he caught you and I smooching on his surprise visit to the academy.
He’s a bully. If he knew where I was now, he’d want to haul me down and say ‘What are you wasting your time working for corrupt politicians… put on your apron and come help your uncle sell vegetables!’
I don’t think so. He seems much more reasonable now.
So Sizwe, you met my Uncle Charlie. Small world. Why are you telling me now?
Because he wanted me to give you a message. Obviously he doesn’t know exactly what we’re doing, but he knows you’re with the NIA and I told him I was too… so he asked me to tell you about a dream he had.
A dream?
Yes… it was about your dad. He said your dad told him in the dream that he can’t get into your dreams, so he came into Charlie’s. He told Charlie that you were where you should be… and, get this… that he was watching over your ship in the sky so you needn’t be afraid. Your uncle said he was very moved by the dream, even though he didn’t understand all your father’s words. And he wanted me to ask you to come see him sometime. Just to share a cup of spicy chai. (Pause. Snyman is a little emotional.) Sandra?
I miss my dad.
I think your Uncle Charlie misses him too. Anyway, I thought that since we both can’t be off the ship together, I could take over the bridge for a bit and you could come down to see him.
I don’t want to see Uncle Charlie right now. (Pause) But I would like to come down for a bit. Charlie’s daughter-in-law has an Eastern fashion store just down the road from the market. I’d like to say hi to her and get a new sari for my cousin’s wedding next month.
Oh, er, sure… okay cool. I’ll take over the ship and you can have your away trip.
Thank you Sizwe. And thanks for telling me about the dream.
Slow fade to blackout.
Lights come up on Captain Snyman and Lieutenant Khumalo. They are sipping coffee and in reflective mood, as the morning slowly evolves.
Durban always gets going a lot more slowly than Joburg.
That’s what I used to think. It’s what I liked. Then I realised Durban doesn’t get going at all.
That’s a bit harsh. I’ll bet you sometimes miss the place… the weather, the beaches, the food…
Ja, maybe when I’m old and grey, I’ll buy a cottage on the Ballito beach front and build sandcastles with my grandchildren. (Pause)
Do you… I mean, one day… do you see yourself settling down? Having a family?
My biological clock is ticking. So I don’t see toddlers running around… well, maybe… no… no children. But I won’t want to ride this Airship forever. Maybe one day I’ll get married. Be largely office bound. I don’t know. It’s hard to foresee. I’m comfortable in uncertainty.
Ha! Look at that city garden… beautiful… with the sun blazing… people are just walking by without even glancing at it. Look! Look at the beauty in your world.
What about you Sizwe? You going to be grounded one day? Meet a nice girl and live by the seaside?
I met a nice girl a few years ago. I don’t know if she thought I was a nice boy though.
She did. She does think you’re a nice boy. Just not the right boy for her. (Pause)
Still, it was a memorable winter, hey Sandra?
It was Sizwe.
Hey, let’s dance.
What?
Like we used to at the academy.
That was at 8pm, not at 8am.
Well, it’s a great way to get going in the morning. You know, they’re recording a new season of “So You Think You Can Dance” in Durban. I was thinking of asking you to partner me. You know, when all this is over.
You’re crazy Sizwe.
I am indeed madame. (He plays some salsa music.) May I have this dance? (He grabs Snyman. They do the Tango for about a minute and then Khumalo stops abruptly.) No! The wild hair, the heaving breasts, the sumptuous lips… I can’t take it! Snyman pulls him back.
Come on, big boy… you’re not afraid of a little heat. (They continue dancing for a few seconds and are about to kiss when Snyman pulls away and turns off the music.) I’m sorry. I nearly lost myself. We can’t do this… not on this mission.
I agree. We have to be completely focused.
It’s the Tango. It distracted us.
Yes.
The terrorists could make their move at any moment.
Yes… and we don’t know if… well we don’t know if they are actually terrorists… I mean criminals, yes, but there are all kinds of criminals–
What are you on about Sizwe?
Nothing. I’m rambling. It’s the Tango.
Yes, blame it all on the Tango. (The monitor beeps.)
The monitor’s beeping. (He goes to the monitor.) It’s Bobby. He requests permission to enter the Airship.
Granted. (Another beep on the monitor.)
Oh no. Captain, the Zebras have signalled for us to send an away team to Pietermaritzburg. The Police have clashed with striking workers and they’re looting wildly.
Damn those looting strikers. They ruin it for everyone.
Captain, it’s actually the police who are looting.
What? I can’t… you lead the away team Lieutenant and send Bobby to the bridge immediately.
Aye Captain.
Sizwe, be careful.
Khumalo exits. Snyman busies herself on the console. After a few seconds, Bobby enters.
Howzit Captain.
Bobby, what have you been up to?
Well, let’s see… last night I went to the biggest Indian wedding of all time. Valued at two million nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand Rand. Two doctors. Enough food to feed the whole of Ethiopia. You know, I wanted to know what the two most important people on the day thought of the event. But the bride’s father wouldn’t let me interview the cook and the gratuitous white guest.
I’m glad your social life is going well Bobby. But what news do you have?
A shocking revelation. Salman Khan has cancelled his tour to South Africa. (No reaction from Snyman.) But, er, I’ve had my meeting with Mohammed Shaik Ali Khan. I’ve discovered that he is summoning his crew to a final meeting at their secret headquarters tomorrow night.
Where is their headquarters?
It’s somewhere in the North Coast, but I don’t know exactly where yet.
Bobby, the conference is in three days…
Don’t worry Captain… I’ll find out where the headquarters are in the next day.
Good.
Captain, my data banks indicate that I need some routine maintenance. While I was fishing, a big wave pulled me down. Some water went into my head. (Bobby’s beepers sounds.) The maintenance will have to wait Captain. Dr. Johnson just beeped me. He says there is a bomb scare at the magistrate’s court. I’ll have to get down there now.
Shit. Do you think it could be the terrorists?
It could be. You’d better put your crew on full alert Captain. (Exits)
Blackout.
Lights come up on Snyman and Khumalo in conversation.
…so I had to punch him… I mean, it’s ridiculous for a senior policeman to be scratching my face, grabbing my hair and trying to pull down my trousers.
I can’t believe that the police would stoop to this level. It’s a disgrace.
Who can you trust? (Uneasy pause.)
Do you think the bomb scare at court is… do you think it’s the terrorists? Or do you think the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks is the target? I mean, I know it’s just the Ministers first appearance at court, but there’s a lot of people who already think he’s guilty.
I don’t think it’s either scenario.
What do you mean? You think it’s a hoax?
Well, we’re about to find out… I’ve just made contact with Bobby.
On screen.
Lights come up on Bobby. The screen depicts a court house setting.
No, I told you that you don’t have to put the kebaabs in a skewer. Just put them on a tray and layer the rotis around them.
Bobby, what are you doing? Is the bomb squad on the scene?
Captain, it was a hoax. The bomb squad checked carefully. Apparently they received a message from the ‘Anti-corruption Tik Tok Society’ that they planted a bomb. The society pulls this hoax every few months when a politician appears in court.
But Bobby, there still seems to be a lot of panic going on there.
Ja, you know what happened. Some prisoners ran out of the back of a police van and they hijacked the Greyhound bus to Cape Town. Plus there was only one security guard in the grille. The prisoners overpowered him and ran into the air conditioning ducts, which haven’t been working for the last three weeks. The police wanted to send their dogs after the prisoners but at the moment the dogs are deep into the supporters of the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks. The ambulance was on the way to sort out the injuries to the supporters, but I just heard that it got hijacked…
What’s happening on Stanger Street? There seems to be riots.
Yes. The pro-death penalty forum is fighting with the anti-smoking campaigners over who should give the mayor their petition first.
Good Lord. Durban is falling apart.
Oh no Captain. Julio Masimola is going to make a speech.
Masimola enters, sips a coke, eats a snowball and steadies himself.
Alright, you should get out of there now Bobby. There’s no need for you to listen to this rhetoric.
No, I want to hear this out… he got a big mouth.
Lights fade on Airship Bridge. Focus now on Masimola and Bobby only.
My people. (Sounds of some boos and some cheers.) Hey, those of you who are booing, just get out of here! Let me speak to my people. I am exercising my right to freedom of speech. My supporters… I say to you that we must continue the good fight for the soul of the Party. There are many corrupt comrades in our ranks, and we must expel these evil forces. Today, another one who we once trusted, faces many charges – the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks. Ja, I call him the ‘Sinister Minister’… you see I’ve been reading the dictionary. Yes, I know that he’s innocent until proven guilty, but the evidence is very strong. And there are many others besides the Sinister Minister. (He takes a sip of coke and eats a snowball. His supporters cheer.) That’s why we support the suggested commission of enquiry. What? (Confused. Touches his earpiece.) In fact, we don’t support the commission of enquiry. Er, the committee members are, er, biased and anti-revolutionary and in fact, they are racist. (Aside.) Why don’t you give me the right info before hand… you are embarrassing me in front of my supporters. (He tries to put on a smile.)
Hey, you don’t even know what you support and what you don’t. What an idiot.
Hey, who are you to speak to me?
My name is Bobby, and making fun of you is my hobby.
You shut up, you coolie!
How dare you call me a coolie! I’ll show you. (Bobby charges Masimola and punches him hard in the stomach. Then he hurls him off stage and dashes after him.)
Lights come up on the Airship bridge again.
What’s happening Lieutenant.
I can just catch a glimpse of Bobby. He seems to be beating Masimola senseless. Oh! Now Masimola’s bodyguards are attacking Bobby.
Lead an away team immediately down there Lieutenant.
Yes Captain.
Look at all this chaos. We have to stop the Durbanites from tearing their CBD apart.
Slow fade to blackout.
Lights come up on Snyman on the Airship bridge. She is speaking into a digital recorder.
Captain’s personal log. It’s just two days before the conference. Bobby has recovered from being attacked at the court. Dr. Johnson has requested Dr. Moodley to re-programme him in order to remove his waywardness. But we are still awaiting final details of the terrorists’ headquarters from him. The people of Durban haven’t torn their city apart… in fact the streets of the CBD are fairly quiet. For now. But the biggest threat to the Airship right now is an internal one. We are facing an illegal strike. From lower ranked officers and domestic workers. (She stops talking into the recorder.) I’m so tired of the Dumisani Domestic Training Union. They want their workers to have tea breaks, cappuccino breaks, smoke breaks, Sangoma breaks… sick leave, compassionate leave, Royal wedding leave… What’s next? Special days for cosmetic development. (Pause) I see how they stare at me. There’s the mixed race madam, they think. Barking orders at everyone. They don’t know that my mother was a domestic worker. And she didn’t work in the excellent conditions that they do. They think I’m not black so I don’t know struggle. (Pause. Then she continues speaking into the recorder.) To make things worse, our chief engineer, Bongani, is now suffering from a serious case of food poisoning. Just when we’re having problems with our engines. I’m not sure we can cope with any sort of terrorist threat right now. (Lieutenant Khumalo enters.) Lieutenant, how are things at engineering? Are they coping?
Just about Captain.
What the Hell did Bongani eat?
I think it was a particularly hot Durban curry.
And where did he get that?
Er, one of my away teams smuggled it on board.
Pathetic. But you say we’re coping.
Well, ideally we need another senior engineer on board.
Who are we going to get at this late stage?
Well…
Yes?
No… no. (Pause. Snyman continues working on the console.) Is Dr. Johnson going to come up to deal with the strike?
I can’t get hold of Dr. Johnson. I’ve tried several times. I don’t know… maybe he’s briefing the BRICS delegates.
Hmm. So what are we going to do about the strikers?
I’m giving them until the end of the day to go back to work. If they don’t, I’m getting them off this ship and getting replacements on board. (Both continue working on the consoles. Suddenly Khumalo lets out a yelp.) Lieutenant, what’s wrong?
It’s just a stomach cramp. I will be alright.
Are you sure?
Yes. But, er, Sandra… I told the boys in engineering that I’d be back to help them shortly. Could you… do you mind going down in my place? I can take care of the bridge for a bit… I just don’t want to be in that hectic zone right now.
You sure you don’t need the doctor?
No, I’ll be alright.
Okay Sizwe. Take it easy. (As she exits.) Geez, half the crew on this ship are either sick or on strike. (As soon as Snyman exits, Khumalo springs to life. He speaks into a small device – just like the one he’d given Luke Jedison in the Park.)
Luke… can you hear me? Alright, I’m going to have to contact you on the Airship’s mainframe. (He pushes a few buttons.) Luke… shit, I can’t get a visual. (Luke Jedison has entered left stage now but the stage is still dark.)
Sizwe, is that you brother?
Lights come up on Jedison. He is wearing a dress and running.
Oh good, I’ve got a visual. Luke, why are you running?
The police are chasing me.
The police! Wait a minute… why are you wearing a dress?
It’s a long story Sizwe.
What did you do now Luke?
I didn’t plan to… it just happened.
What just happened?
One of the company director’s wives fancied me… I tried to resist her… but she had such huge… intellectual depth. So this afternoon, we were fooling around at her place… she wanted to try on my shirt… and I just put on her dress. But then her husband came home and caught us. He manhandled her… I mean, how can you treat a woman with such disrespect? So I punched him. When he stopped crying, he called the cops. And here I am…
Not again Luke.
Stop judging Sizwe and help me.
Actually, I was hoping you would help me. I just received a message from our undercover man… he’s informed me that Ashraf Ali and his crew are on the move. It’s happening Luke. I need you on board now.
I can hear the police sirens Sizwe so now would be a good time.
Right, let’s move. The Captain and the other officers will be back on the bridge at any moment. Okay, er, go to that field on your left. The supershuttle will fetch you in two minutes.
Thank you brother.
Lights fade on Jedison just as Snyman re-enters, unbeknown to Khumalo.
Philemon, this is Lieutenant Khumalo. Take the supershuttle to the co-ordinates I’m transmitting to you and fetch the gentleman waiting there. This is top priority Philemon.
It seems like they didn’t really need my help in engineering.
Captain…
And why would you need the help of Luke Jedison? (Khumalo is silent and very worried.) I’ve never known you to be the silent type, Sizwe.
It’s complex Sandra.
Complex? You just authorised the entry of Luke Jedison… a man who was fired by Dr. Johnson when they were working on the Airship. And you didn’t even consult me! Who do you think you are? Are you Captain of this ship?
Captain, I request permission to leave the bridge.
Tell me what’s going on Sizwe.
Captain, please… I’m not well… please, give me a few minutes.
Fine… get off the bridge. But I want you back here in fifteen minutes. And then I want a full explanation.
Lights fade to blackout as Khumalo exits.
Lights come up as Snyman is working on the console. Khumalo enters after a few seconds.
Captain Snyman… I apologise. I am ready to explain myself.
Is Luke Jedison on board?
Yes Captain. I’ve asked him to wait in engineering. While we talk. (Suddenly Bobby enters.) Bobby!
How did you get on board?
A little birdie dropped me off.
You don’t sound like Bobby. (Bobby pulls out a gun.)
That’s because I’m not Bobby (Indian accent.) I’m Bobby (American accent.)
What?
I’m here to take over this ship, Captain.
So this was how you were going to take over the Airship.
What? Lieutenant Khumalo? You knew about this?
Er, no Captain… I mean, it’s just that I suspected that they might try to take over the Airship… if they caught up with Bobby and tapped into his data bank. I mean… (Khumalo flings a disk at Bobby who weaves out of the way. But Khumalo jumps him. They wrestle for a few seconds, but Bobby is too strong. He hits Khumalo over the head with his gun and Khumalo falls to the ground, unconscious.)
Sizwe!
Don’t worry Captain. He’ll be alright. He’s a big boy. Sit down. (Snyman sits and Bobby ties her to the chair.)
So Bobby… er, let’s see if I can work this out. The terrorist organisation discovered that you were an android… they tapped into your data banks… then they reprogrammed you… I suppose they chose an American accent to show the irony of so many fundamentalists who received their training in the infidels’ countries… or was the accent just part of your default programme… and then–
There is no time for your theories Captain. I have a mission to accomplish.
So I suppose you’re going to let your crew on board next… and then attack the ICC when the conference begins tomorrow. Using our own weapon of mass destruction… my Lord!
We don’t want to attack the ICC. Kill a few delegates? No, no… we’re after much bigger things. I’m taking the Airship to the Middle East.
So they want the ship itself.
That’s right Captain. It will be used against the infidels in a new campaign of terror.
You’ll never get away with this. The Airship is being carefully monitored by our officers on the ground.
And when we take off at ten times the speed of sound, which vehicle in South Africa is going to catch this ship? (Pause) Don’t expect your crew to rescue you Captain. I’ve sealed all entries to the bridge.
Look Bobby, I know that Dr. Moodley wanted you to aspire to be human. So I know… I know that the real Bobby is still in there somewhere.
I told you Captain… my name is Bobby (American accent) and my mission is all that matters. Now, I’m taking the ship to the rendezvous to pick up my crew. Then we’ll dispose of you and your crew.
Dispose?
Damn! The controls are jammed. I can’t move this thing. What have you done Captain? Are you playing games?
Blackout.
Lights come up three seconds later.
Luke Jedison has entered and is pointing a gun at Bobby.
She’s not playing games with you, little android. I am.
Mr. Jedison!
Luke Jedison. Failed engineer and wife thief. How were you able to get in here?
You obviously know, dear android, that I helped to design this ship. It was easy to get in here. Now put your gun down.
Bobby fires wildly at Jedison who dives to dodge the bullet. They both fire again at each other while the Captain sits in fear. Then Bobby runs through the bridge doors. Jedison runs after him.
Be careful Luke. (There are a few more shots off stage. Meanwhile, Khumalo stirs and then gets up slowly, holding his head.) Sizwe! Are you alright?
Yes… I think so. What’s going on?
Untie me. (Khumalo unties Snyman.) Jedison just went after Bobby…
We should help… let me get our weapons.
Just then Jedison re-enters the bridge.
Luke! Thank God you’re alright!
Is Bobby… did you destroy him?
I just stunned him. But I’ve deactivated him now.
You’re a brave man Mr. Jedison. But it’s time for some explanations now… from both of you. What is really going on here?
Let me bring you up to speed Captain. The android still works for Dr. Johnson. He’s been his lackey all along. And Johnson is partners in crime with Durban tycoon Ashraf Ali and the Minister of New Technological Development and the Improvement of Maths Marks.
That can’t be true. Sizwe?
It’s true Sandra. There is no terrorist threat here. It’s a smokescreen.
A smokescreen?
Yes. A couple of months ago Johnson and the Minister struck a deal with the Chinese to sell them the Airship for billions of dollars. Their friend, Ashraf Ali, also joined the venture–
Why? Why did Ali… I mean, he’s supposed to be a philanthropist.
We discovered that Johnson and the Minister had secret interests in some of Ali’s businesses for the last few years. Ali was scared he might get implicated in the Minister’s upcoming trial… along with Johnson… so they had to act decisively. When they clinched the deal with the Chinese, they had to stage a hijacking, so that no one would suspect the deal.
So the Chinese, who are supposed to be leading our BRICS conference… bloody hypocrites… they knew about this Airship all along?
They knew that the Americans were developing an Airship, but then one of their chief engineers abandoned them. Of course he came here, pursuing his African princess… and eventually built us an Airship, without the Chinese or American’s knowledge. But then the Minister used his political connections with China to set things up. When Johnson offered them the Airship, they wanted it desperately.
This is crazy.
It is Captain. But it’s also true.
How do you know all this?
As you know I was one of the engineers who was helping to construct this ship. But Johnson fired me… because… because I had an affair with his wife.
So that’s why he fired you…
We loved each other. At least I loved her. She loved me for a month… and then dumped me.
But she still considered him a friend.
Anyway Johnson made my life a misery… I couldn’t get a job anywhere in Joburg… I had to come to Durban. So one day Lindiwe phoned me and said she’d stumbled upon a meeting between Johnson and the Minister… and that they had a deal with the Chinese… she didn’t know the details. I told her to get out of there before they became suspicious. Then my brother phoned me and said that his friend, Inspector Moosa, was working undercover, investigating Ashraf Ali for fraud. And he had discovered the plot. My brother said he needed me on board to jam the Airship’s engines and act as backup.
Who is your brother?
I am, Captain. His half-brother.
Lieutenant Khumalo… that’s… er, a surprise.
Not at all Captain. My father had relations with many white woman. He was a gardener.
So that’s why you were so anxious to get Jedison on board.
Yes Captain. We had discovered that Bongani was involved, so I poisoned his food. We had to wait for the right moment. We knew they were going to take the ship but we didn’t know how. Or when exactly. Or how many would come.
Inspector Moosa was our only support on the ground.
When Lieutenant Shabalala resigned because of the sex scandal… it was like a sign from the universe that I had to get on board this ship. So I pulled some strings. But it was all so quick… I didn’t know who we could trust. Including the Zebras.
And including me. You kept me in the dark.
I… I wanted to tell you… a few times… and then when you discovered about Luke, I was going to tell you…
You thought I was Johnson’s right hand woman. That I would always take orders–
That’s ridiculous Sandra–
You’re supposed to be my friend Sizwe…
This has nothing to do with friendship Sandra. It was a delicate operation. There was still so much up in the air, so to speak, when I entered the Airship. I couldn’t tell you… it could have put you in worse danger.
Oh, so you’re the black knight now, protecting the little princess. I’m Captain of this ship… I don’t need your protection.
Oh blast it! This is irrelevant. What’s done is done. We have to move forward. (Uneasy pause.)
Do you have any hard evidence of the plot?
Inspector Moosa has built up an impressive dossier. We can certainly make a prima facie case.
What were they going to do if our government pursued the Airship? You know, went to the Middle East?
Oh yes. There was going to be a mysterious accident. The so called terrorist group would send a message to us that the Airship blew up during testing. Obviously if we went to the Middle East we’d find nothing.
This is all so hectic. The dream I had. Now I see… (Pause. Snyman reflects.) So what do we do now?
Well firstly, I have to contact Inspector Moosa. And then we’ll take the Airship–
Change of plan, brother. I’m taking the Airship to Russia.
What? What are you saying Luke? We have to expose this corruption.
No Sizwe. I’m afraid this new South Africa seems just like the old one to me. Oh, there’s more colour… but it’s the same old indifference and corruption and racism. And most people have come to accept the malaise.
You’re oversimplifying things.
It is as simple as that Sizwe. I made a deal with the Russians. They told me that if I gained control of the Airship that they would pay me more than the Chinese were willing to pay Johnson.
The Russians… this entire BRICS conference was going to be a total farce.
Your country needs you Luke.
My country doesn’t give a shit about me. I’m a half-breed, in love with a woman who… I have a PhD in astrophysics and I’ve worked my arse off–
You’re still in love with Lindiwe.
That doesn’t matter. The point is that nobody who has influence in this country gives a damn about my special skills. The intellect is no longer prized in South Africa. This is the age of the idiot.
To me it just sounds like you’re wallowing in self-pity.
You think you have power Snyman. You’re just another manipulated mixed-race muppet.
I can help you brother. I can find opportunities for you.
Oh, I see brother. You’re going to be just like the other blacks in power. Jobs for family and pals.
I didn’t realise you’d become a cynic. If there’s one thing worse than terrorism, it’s cynicism.
What about fascism? Throughout this continent.
And what about humanism? African humanism. You remember how we talked about this Luke? It was just a few years ago. About Ubuntu… about how we were going to fight for the soul of this nation.
This country has lost its soul. You have mothers throwing their babies in bins. Hijackers who kill you after you give up your car, your phone, your wallet. You’ve got black managers who screw poor black consumers every day, without blinking an eyelid.
But we also have old ladies who walk miles to fetch water for their grandchildren. They’re not stealing from anyone. And there’s a school in Umlazi which stays open until 8pm every day because the kids want extra tuition. And in Sandton I’ve seen white kids sharing their lunches with black kids. We have–
We deserve more, Sizwe. Why don’t you come with me brother? Say yes. We can find real freedom together.
No. I’m staying.
To fight another day.
If nothing else, to stop people like Johnson and Ali and the Minister.
You might stop this Minister. And his pals. But there’ll be more. (He takes out a black book.) This is my black book. Its pages are filled with accounts of dirty deals by business leaders in Joburg and Durban. (Khumalo pulls out a green book.)
This is my green book. Its pages are filled with accounts of ordinary people making a difference every day throughout South Africa. (Snyman pulls out a pink book.)
This is my pink book. Its pages are blank. I’m hoping to fill it with a story of a brave man who reconciles with his brother and exposes a corrupt politician.
Then Captain your book will be published in the fantasy category.
Listen to yourself Luke. You’ve become so bitter.
While you were away getting your backside kissed at Oxford brother, I was discovering the rainbow indignation. You see only what you want to see. It’s no use, brother. You’ll never have real power, to make the big decisions. You’ll always be second in command.
So when did you form your plan? As soon as I told you that I needed your help?
Soon after. (Khumalo grabs Jedison’s gun. Jedison is shocked. He screams out like a Ninja and Khumalo panics, allowing Jedison to grab hold of him and retrieve the gun.) You forget, I spent two months in China and learned Kung Fu, China. (Khumalo cleverly trips Jedison and they begin wrestling. Snyman tries to intervene but Jedison pushes her away and she falls. Khumalo grabs Jedison in a half-Nelson grip.)
And you forget, I spent four months in Samoa and learned wrestling, brother. (Jedison pulls out a knife and cuts Khumalo’s hand, forcing him to let go.)
And you forget, I spent all of my life in South Africa, and learned cheating, Lieutenant. (Meanwhile Snyman has gone to the weapons’ cabinet and pulled out a gun, which she points at Jedison. Jedison puts the knife to Khumalo’s throat.) Drop your weapon Captain or I’ll slit his throat.
You would kill your own brother.
Half-brother… and I’m fully prepared. (Snyman drops her gun.)
I know why you’re really doing this. It has nothing to do with disillusionment. It’s just greed. You think you’re entitled to everything because you’re a brilliant scientist. You’re a disgrace to the Jedison name! And our father would have been disgusted with you.
Your father. He was never a father to me.
He cared about–
Enough! I have no more time for this. (Jedison flings Khumalo onto his chair. He picks up his gun and then ties Khumalo and Snyman.) I’m going down to engineering to release the engines. Then we go to landing area 3 to drop you and your crew off. And pick up my Russian assistants. (Jedison takes out a sleeping spray.) This is my special sleeping spray. It’s time for a nap.
Suddenly there is a loud noise.
Blackout.
What’s going on?
Maybe it’s load shedding.
Blackout remains for three seconds.
When the lights come on, Johnson is on stage, pointing a gun at Jedison. Jedison in turn points his gun at Johnson.
Dr. Johnson!
Captain, I’ve come to take back my ship.
How did you know what was happening?
Bobby had a bug on him. I heard everything.
Have you written your suicide note explaining what a bad boy you’ve been?
You are in no position to judge me, woman! This country doesn’t deserve an Airship.
How did you get onto this ship? I sealed all the entries.
I have much more sophisticated equipment than you, Jedison. And now I’m going to use one of my favourite pieces of equipment to kill you.
You’ll have to kill us too. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life in jail.
There’s no need for that, Lieutenant. I’m not a barbarian. I have this. (He takes out a chip.)
A memory chip.
No, not that. This is a reconciliatory chip. Once placed on a person’s forehead and fine tuned, that person forgives his enemy. Any thoughts of exposing him are suppressed. I just perfected it yesterday. You know, I believe that your scientists were hoping to develop a reconciliatory chip for the TRC hearings, but they didn’t quite have the skills to get it right.
I suppose you’re also going to use the chip on the key witnesses in the Sinister Minister’s trial.
There will be no trial for the Minister. The evidence is insufficient. Don’t believe everything you read in the white press, Snyman.
So you’re not reacting. You and your criminal partners are just doing this out of pure greed.
We are servicing the demands of the market. My partners and I are tired of your failed Rainbow Nation. We’d prefer the white sands and blue waters of an uncomplicated island.
You’ll never get away with this Johnson. Our ground liaison officer will expose you.
Ashraf Ali’s men have already captured Inspector Moosa. Shortly they’ll be using the reconciliatory chip on him. But there’s no such luck for you Jedison. You steal my wife. And now you want to steal my ship.
Your wife came willingly–
Shut up! You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a lot like me. Both our families were cultural activists… they campaigned against racism… we were both firebrands… we dreamed of the stars… But you’re nothing like me. You don’t have the balls to action something truly amazing.
I’m here now. And you don’t seem to realise this, but I also have a gun to your head.
Then let’s fight. Hand-to-hand combat with my superswords. (Johnson takes out two swords from the weapons cabinet and flings one to Jedison.) This is not like our previous fight Luke. We’re not fighting for a woman. The prize is much bigger this time.
Don’t fight him Luke.
No Sizwe. This is my destiny. (The two men begin to fight. It would be good to use a sound recording of the light sabers in the Star Wars films for the first few blows. The men fight for just over a minute, with Johnson slowly gaining the upperhand during the fight. Some of the fight sequence can be done in slow motion. Snyman and Khumalo cannot intervene because they are still tied up. Finally Johnson stabs Jedison in the chest. He dies.)
No! Luke. You bastard! You killed my brother. (Johnson puts down his weapons, walks to Khumalo and takes out the reconciliatory chip.)
It’s time to forgive me.
Suddenly there is a loud noise.
Blackout.
Not again. Maybe it’s the aliens this time. Maybe they’ve finally come to South Africa.
Lights come back on. CIA Special Agent 24-7 DX, a cyborg, has entered and is holding a gun to Johnson.
It’s not aliens Captain. It’s just the CIA. I’m Special Agent 24-7 DX. We got rid of the aliens last week. Shot their vessel down with our Airship Alienbuster.
You have an Airship?
We have two. Well, three now. With the Airship Equity. Do you really think that you’re the only one in the USA who can build a supersonic vessel, Johnson?
The Airship Equity is not your property.
Yes it is, Johnson. You forget that you signed a contract with us containing a protection of intellectual property clause. Now you’ve used some of our trade secrets to build this ship… and you’re not supposed to reveal trade secrets for a ten year period anywhere in the world. We’re going to sue you for breach of contract and attach the Airship Equity.
Are you an android?
I’m a cyborg. I was a soldier in Iraq. My tank got shot down and I was nearly killed. They fused my body parts with that of an Iraqi soldier and added new technology.
So you’re half-American, half-Iraqi and half-machine.
Shut up Johnson. How did you know that your scientist built this ship, Agent? We kept everything under wraps.
Never feel you’re alone. The CIA is always watching you. We located Johnson two months ago. He couldn’t hide from us forever. We’ve had an undercover agent in Johannesburg since then. We didn’t expect all this though. This whole thing is more complex than the JFK conspiracy.
So you’ve been listening in while we were in Durban?
We’ve been hovering right above you without you being able to detect us. In the Airship USA is A OK. Waiting for everything to unfold.
You brought an Airship here?
Of course. We have some observers here. You think we were going to leave their protection to you. (He laughs.)
You’re an arsehole.
Shut up Johnson! Sit down! (He flings Johnson to the floor.)
If you knew what was going on, why didn’t you come earlier and stop Luke being killed?
We tried to, but it took longer than expected to force open the doors. Anyway, you can nail Johnson for murder now as well. (24-7 DX speaks into his radio.) Is everything clear boys? Okay. Let’s take this baby down. You know, I haven’t heard a thank you yet from you Captain. Or you Lieutenant. We saved your asses.
You just did it to reclaim your property.
Yeah, it’s our property. South Africa is not yet ready for an Airship.
And you can just decide this?
Don’t bother arguing with him, Lieutenant. The USA always has the last say.
Yeah.
Blackout.
Lights come up on the Airship bridge. Snyman and Khumalo are on stage sipping coffee.
So do you think that this commission of enquiry will have the courage to take real action?
I don’t know. If the Chinese and Russian governments continue to say it was renegade Ministers and those Ministers deny any involvement and say it was organised criminals… then the commission is going to hit a brick wall… because there’s not enough evidence. Anyway, at least we bagged the Sinister Minister and his pals.
What about the Minister’s claim that there were other MPs involved?
I don’t know, Sandra. Let the commission deal with it. I’m just glad you and I were able to save the Airship.
You saved the Airship. You’re ‘The Saviour of South Africa’s Soul’.
That’s just the words of a proud uncle.
The only reason I agreed to continue as Captain of this ship is that you’re going to be by my side.
Thank you Sandra.
I just wish they would tell us who our new commanding officer at the National Intelligence Agency is going to be. I mean, it’s all hush-hush at the moment.
Even my uncle won’t say a word.
Suddenly Julio Masimola enters with Bobby in tow.
Surprise!
Julio Masimola!
That’s Commander Masimola.
What do you mean?
I’m your new commanding officer.
This can’t be happening.
And look, I’ve got our old Bobby back.
You’ve made him your lackey now, I suppose?
Dr. Moodley has made sure he cannot be manipulated like before. Now he’ll always be our good little Bobby. Greet the officers Bobby.
Howzit vying lahnees? Lucker to be graafing with your’ll again. Hey, I’m looking forward to our trip to Egypt. Who knows Lieutenant… you might meet your Cleopatra.
What is he talking about a trip to Egypt?
The Americans have asked us to go there… to assist them. They suspect that a new terrorist organisation is operating out of Egypt and they want us to check it out.
So we’re America’s bum boys now.
I knew it was too good to be true when they handed back the Airship.
These are their conditions of the deal… they will only let us keep the ship if we assist them when they ask.
So you’re happy to co-operate with the imperialists now, Masimola.
How did you con your way past his uncle and the Minister of Safety and Security to become operations chief?
There was no con… it was political science. The President himself appointed me. He is under a lot of pressure because the Sinister Minister was his appointment. So I promised to back his campaign for another term. And here I am.
I won’t take this… I’m out of here. (Masimola grabs Snyman.) Get your hands off me, you filthy animal! (Masimola pushes Snyman onto her chair.)
Don’t talk to me like that!
Hey, what are you doing?
Just calm down Khumalo. Bobby, go and make me a chicken bunny chow now.
Mild or medium sir?
Make it hot today Bob. I’m in the mood for taking a risk. (As Bobby exits.) Once I had an Indian boss… now I have an Indian slave. Right… Captain Snyman, Lieutenant Khumalo, let’s just take it easy and talk.
I don’t want to talk. I resign. Immediately.
You can’t resign. The President wants both of you on this ship. I promised him… (He holds her back.)
I don’t care. I’m leaving.
You can’t leave. I sealed the exit with this device and only I know the code.
You’re a sick shit!
Hey, I’m tired of your arrogance! (He pushes her hard.) Now you listen to me. (Khumalo grabs him.)
How dare you treat a woman like that? (Masimola tries to punch Khumalo but Khumalo blocks and punches him in the stomach. He cringes in pain but then flings his cellphone at Khumalo, who stumbles, hits his head against the console and loses consciousness. Then Masimola screams and jumps onto Snyman. Snyman pushes him off. He pulls out a knife but Snyman gives him two strong punches. He falls awkwardly on the console and then collapses.)
Oh my God! He’s bleeding. (She examines his body.) Oh no! I’ve killed him. I’ve killed him!
Blackout.
Lights come up on Snyman and Khumalo standing over Masimola’s body, as in the first scene of the play.
It’s over Sizwe. For me… it’s over. Whether we save Masimola or not. I’m not going to be Airship Captain. I won’t do it.
Let’s just think about this Sandra. We can find a way forward. Maybe even with this moron. And the American’s interference… I mean, we did the near impossible just a couple of weeks ago.
I think your recent bravado may be clouding your judgment, Lieutenant. There’s just too much compromise involved. Even by NIA standards. Hell, even by CIA standards.
Now you’re exaggerating. Look, there’ll always be some corrupt politician that we have to deal with. You know that. Masimola is after bigger things… he won’t be our commanding officer for long.
And the Americans?
I don’t know… let’s think about it for a bit. We can’t just… too many people are walking away.
Maybe Johnson was right… maybe South Africa doesn’t deserve an Airship.
Well I’m not letting you take the fall for Masimola. I’m using the reconciliatory chip. (He places the chip on Masimola’s forehead. Snyman turns away.) It’s time to forgive us brother.
What have we done?
We’ve stopped the bleeding. And started the healing process. (Loud bangs on the door) That’ll be the Zebras. (Another loud bang.) You don’t have to make a choice today Sandra. Just take some time off. I think that’s what I’m going to do. (His beeper sounds.) It’s Captain Dlamini from the Zebras… he says he wants me to contact him. Captain Dlamini… I hope you can hear this. It’s Lieutenant Khumalo. Captain Snyman, Mr. Masimola and myself are trapped inside the bridge. Mr. Masimola is badly hurt and needs urgent medical attention. It’s… it’s Bobby, the android… something must have gone wrong with his systems again. He attacked Mr. Masimola and when we tried to intervene he attacked the Captain and I. Then he sealed us in here. Force open the doors Captain. We need your help now. (He ends the transmission. Pause, as they contemplate.)
Maybe I should take a holiday. Recharge.
The Durban beaches are looking as beautiful as ever.
Maybe I can pay a visit to Uncle Charlie. See if my dad has come into his dreams again.
Why not a family picnic? Like you guys used to do.
That’s a good idea. What did you say about ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ coming to Durban?
It starts next week.
Shall we dance?
Slow fade to blackout.