Jamie was in shock. I just knew he was.
He’d said four, five words, maybe, since he picked me up thirty minutes ago. Those words coming when I went rushing out to him from Whitecaps and hurling myself into his arms.
“I’d do it again, babe,” he’d said, his arms tight around me, his breath in my hair and his hands running soothingly up and down my back. He was comforting me.
I should’ve been the one comforting him. I wanted to be.
I asked if he was okay and if there was anything I could do, if he needed anything. “Mm,” was all he’d said. Mm. I typically didn’t count noises as words, but that was Jamie’s only response.
I didn’t know what that meant. Yes—he needed me? No—he didn’t need anything? My stomach was in knots.
After he brought us back to the house and I followed him inside, I asked if I could make him something to eat, figuring we could sit and talk. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to know what this meant—Jamie losing his sponsor and how he felt about it and what was going through his head. Something. Anything. I wanted him to know what was going through mine.
But Jamie just shook his head at me, bent down, and pressed a kiss to my hair. He was acting unconcerned, unaffected, un-Jamie-like. Then he turned and made for the slider that led out to the deck. He didn’t ask me to follow. He didn’t want to talk. He was stepping out.
His pack of cigarettes in his hand. One lit before he even made it outside.
He was smoking, so I knew the Mm and the blasé attitude were just a front. Jamie only smoked when something got to him. Stressed him out. Worried him. Pissed him off. He was definitely feeling something, maybe a lot of things. I just didn’t know what.
I wanted to help him. I wanted to do something. Make this better somehow. But what could I do?
I stood inside the house watching through the slider as he lit cigarettes two and then three. I couldn’t take it. I turned and prowled toward the fridge.
He said he didn’t want to eat, but maybe if I didn’t present Jamie with a choice, he’d sit and talk to me. I could probably whip something up in thirty minutes, depending on what was on hand. That might be enough alone time for him anyway. I might not even have to initiate conversation.
Right. Decision made. Let’s see what he had.
I opened the fridge first, examining his leftovers and hoping for some sort of protein I could salvage. No such luck. But Jamie did have tomatoes, an onion, and a couple cloves of garlic. I could make a sauce.
Meat. I needed meat.
I supposed I could always thaw something out in the microwave if I had to. That might have to do right now, unless I made a run to the store. And I really didn’t want to leave him.
Closing the fridge, I straightened up and checked the freezer next. My mouth fell open as the air cooled my face. I felt my eyes widen. It was as if Rivera Frozen Foods had purchased Jamie’s freezer as an advertisement space.
It. Was. Filled.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, taking in the sight.
Top to bottom, side to side, stuffed with bags of vegetables, fruits, rice blends, pasta dishes. Everything we made and one of each, it seemed. My little childhood face was everywhere…in his freezer, which was kind of weird, but still, God, so, so sweet. There was no other brand. Just my family’s. I couldn’t believe it.
I started breathing faster. My heart started jumping around and going crazy inside my chest. Jamie had gone to the aisle he never ventures to and purchased enough frozen food to feed himself for an entire year.
I’d never checked Jamie’s freezer before. I had no idea how long these had been in here, but I had a feeling...He went shopping after I flashed him. The day he found out about my family’s business. I just knew he had.
And he didn’t do it because he loved frozen vegetables or quick and ready meals. He did it because this meant something to me, it meant something to my family, and Jamie cared about anything and everything attached to his woman.
That was me. I was his woman. I was his woman even then. Right at the start of that damn bet.
And finally, finally, standing there and staring at that sight, at that gesture that might’ve been insignificant to everyone else in Dogwood Beach, in the state of North Carolina, hell, everywhere, just not to me. To me it was everything. And looking at it all, it clicked.
I knew what I could do to help.
My hand reached for my back pocket where I had my phone. I pulled it out.
Then I dialed up my father.
* * *
Ten minutes later, I stepped outside and found Jamie on one of the sun loungers, head tipped back with his hands interlocked behind it, eyes closed, knees bent, and feet resting on the wood on either side of the chair.
Despite his relaxed position and the fact that he was no longer smoking, I knew he was anything but relaxed. I was hoping to change that.
“Hey,” I said, claiming the lounger beside him and stretching out. The cushion was warm beneath my calves. I looked over at Jamie, sharing, “I just got off the phone with my dad.”
Hearing that, Jamie’s eyes slid open and his head turned. He pinned me with a look of concern, asking, “He good?”
I gave him a soft smile. God…All he had going on in his head, and he was thinking about my family. Ready to put everything else aside if something was wrong.
My man was amazing.
“He’s good,” I assured him. “Hating that he’s having to eat healthier, but he’s doing it. Mom’s making him mind. Dad said he’s already feeling a lot better.”
“That’s great, babe,” Jamie said gently. “He needs anything, he knows to call Travis. If he can’t get a hold of him, he knows to call me. I’ll get a hold of him.”
Jamie was wearing a look now that read he’d drive the three hours or so to Travis’s doorstep and personally deliver him to my father if he had to. And I knew he meant it.
A word greater than amazing. For sure.
I sighed and dropped the side of my head against the cushion. Jamie watched me do that, then he turned his head so it was tipped toward the sky again and closed his eyes.
It was time to give him my last truth.
“After I got my MBA from Duke, I applied for a position at Rivera Frozen Foods,” I began, and immediately Jamie’s eyes were flashing open and he was looking back over at me. Once I had him, I went on. “I wanted something in advertising,” I continued. “I had an internship where I focused on that and really liked it. I knew I could be good at it. So I checked online. There were two jobs posted. A low entry-level one and then one for senior management. I applied for the first, figuring I could work my way up. The head of marketing interviewed me—Walt. Sweet older man I’ve known since I was a kid. I didn’t even tell my dad I interviewed for it. He had no idea I’d even applied.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?” Jamie asked.
I laughed a little. “’Cause I wanted to do it on my own. But looking back, it wouldn’t have mattered either way.”
Jamie’s brow furrowed.
I turned my head and pressed it back against the cushion, staring up at the sky above the railing. “I was hired for the position in senior management, which was crazy, but given my degree and the experience I had interning, Walt was confident I was fit for the position. My dad agreed after he found out. He was really proud of me.”
“I bet. That’s fuckin’ awesome.”
“He was also pissed I didn’t come to him about a job, but I didn’t want that, you know?” I turned to look at Jamie again. “I didn’t want anybody thinking that I used my name to get where I was. That was important to me. I wanted to earn it.”
“Sounds like you did,” Jamie offered. “Hired you for a reason, babe.”
“Yeah, well, not everyone thought that.” I looked away again and drew my knees up, staring at the tops of them while I picked at my cuticle. “I was brand-new and fresh out of business school, and all of a sudden I was a boss. I had people under me. People who had to report to me and answer to me. Who were older than me. They hated it. These women who had bachelor’s degrees or who were working toward graduating, they looked at me as if I’d done terrible things to them. They hated me. And when women hate women, it’s bad, Jamie. It’s really bad.”
I glanced over at movement. Jamie was sitting up and throwing one leg over the cushion and planting his feet on the wood between our chairs. Then he leaned forward and dropped his elbows to his knees.
“How bad?” he asked. His voice was sharper. Jamie was getting tense. He was growing worried and I didn’t want that. He had enough on his mind.
“It wasn’t like I was getting beat up or anything,” I explained, hoping to quickly settle him. “They would just…talk.” I shrugged. “Say things behind my back. Sometimes not behind my back. They didn’t think I earned the position I had. They said I wasn’t qualified.”
“They were talkin’ shit,” he threw out.
I nodded.
Jamie leaned closer, adding, “They were cunts, babe.”
I pulled in a breath. That word was like nails on a chalkboard to me. It was tough to hear.
Jamie was right, though. Those women were…that word, but still. Tough to hear. I couldn’t help but react to it.
“Jealous ’cause you were younger, smarter, probably hotter,” he continued, staying pitched forward. “Couldn’t handle the fact you had all that goin’ on plus everything else you got goin’ on, which is a fuckin’ lot, babe, so they dogged you for it.”
“They dogged me all right,” I echoed, laughing a little at that expression.
Jamie didn’t laugh watching me. He didn’t smile. He didn’t lose that tense, worried look in his eyes either. If anything, it grew thicker.
“Babe,” he mumbled, and I knew his next words before he even asked them. “Tell me you did not let those bitches run you out of there. That’s fucked up.”
“I did not let them run me out of there,” I told him, watching his head jerk and his eyes lower. “Me leaving was my decision. They might’ve influenced it, but they did not make that choice for me. I did.”
Jamie’s eyes lifted again. They narrowed and his mouth got tight.
I sat up then, swinging my legs over the side of the cushion to join him in his position. Reaching out and taking one of his hands between both of mine, I planted my feet so they staggered with his and slid forward, putting our knees together.
“I am very protective of my family, Jamie,” I started, holding his eyes. “I don’t ever want anything touching them that could hurt them in any way. Not even if that thing is me. Those women were talking and they weren’t being shy about it. The things they were saying got around and eventually got back to me, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before they spread further. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want anyone thinking badly about my father. I didn’t want people saying he was the type of man who didn’t care about his business because he was letting family work there who weren’t qualified to run it into the ground. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want his character getting tarnished.”
“Why would that happen?” Jamie questioned. “That shit wasn’t true. You were qualified.”
“Rumors about John Rivera’s daughter being qualified and earning the position she got aren’t juicy. They don’t travel,” I explained. “But rumors about how John Rivera’s daughter got her position by begging her much older boss, from her knees…”
Jamie jerked back. White-hot anger flashed in his eyes. “Fuck. Are you serious? They were sayin’ that about you?” he asked gruffly.
“They were saying a lot of things about me. That was one,” I confirmed.
“Jesus,” Jamie mumbled. He shook his head and twisted his hand inside mine, taking hold of me as he got closer. His other hand reached out and cupped my face. “Legs, straight up, they should’ve been fired for that,” he said, staring into my eyes. “You should’ve taken that shit straight to your boss and let him handle it. You should not have been dealin’ with that.”
“I agree with you,” I told him. “They deserved to be fired, but I didn’t want to draw more attention to it and I really didn’t want Walt knowing what all they were saying. He’s the nicest man. Always close with my family. He was like my grandfather. I didn’t want him hearing that ugly. Firing four women over one quitting would’ve drawn attention and spread it wide. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him finding out. Or my dad. That could’ve reflected on him if people believed it.”
Jamie’s brows shot up. “Your dad still doesn’t know?”
I shook my head, saying, “Only you,” and watching Jamie’s eyes get soft. “You’re the only person who knows. Syd doesn’t even know.”
Jamie closed his eyes for a breath, feeling what I just gave him and letting it sink in deep. Then he looked at me again and moved his thumb over my cheek, whispering, “Babe,” as his fingers curled around my neck.
“I quit after two months and I don’t regret it,” I continued. “Not only because me leaving killed those rumors, but because I didn’t love that job. I liked it. It was a job. It was something I could’ve done until I retired and I would’ve been satisfied, but I wouldn’t have been happy. Not really. Not like I am now.”
“What’d you tell your dad?” Jamie asked.
I smiled, stating, “That I wasn’t happy. He told me to go find my happiness and I did. Right here.”
Jamie’s mouth twitched hearing that, but not much. He was still angry at what I’d gone through.
I reached out and took his face between my hands. I scooted to the edge of the cushion.
“I am very protective of my family, Jamie,” I repeated, wanting him to cling to these words and the ones that followed. To hear these over the others I’d said. “I would never let anything near them that could hurt them in any way. Or bring them shame or anything negative. I wouldn’t let it happen.”
“I got that, babe,” he replied. “Loud and clear.”
“Good.” I smiled again. “Then you should get why I had no problem asking my father if Rivera Frozen Foods would like to sponsor their first world-champion surfer.”
Jamie’s brows shot up. I felt his jaw tick beneath my palms.
“He said yes, by the way,” I added, smiling bigger because Jamie was looking shocked. “But you’re going to have to talk to him because I have no idea what all he has to do and he has no idea either. They’ve never sponsored anybody before. But that doesn’t matter. Dad said he would be honored to back a man like you.”
Jamie’s nostrils flared as he pulled in a deep breath.
“He also had some choice words for the sponsor who dropped you,” I continued on a chuckle, remembering those words and how quick he was at letting them fly. “Dad said if people don’t want to back a man who goes to his woman and chooses her over everything else, then they’re a bunch of idiots—only he didn’t say idiots.” I chuckled again, thinking Jamie would join in this time, but he didn’t.
Tilting my head, I let my eyes roam over the heavy expression he was wearing. I couldn’t read him. He wasn’t saying anything. Wasn’t smiling. His jaw was still tight. He was still holding my face but his thumb was no longer moving.
He was a statue, only breathing and blinking.
And not knowing how Jamie felt about all of this led to me having a panicking thought.
“Do you not want to be sponsored by them?” I asked, keeping the hurt from my voice because I didn’t want him hearing it. “It’s okay if you don’t. I know they’re just a frozen food company and not some major sports retailer. If you’d rather they didn’t, I can talk to my dad. It won’t—”
My words were halted when Jamie slid his hand to my neck, yanked me forward, and crashed his mouth against mine in a hard, deep kiss that made my toes curl inside my shoes and the muscles in my stomach clench and every fear or worrying thought I had go quiet inside my head.
“You did that for me,” Jamie panted against my lips, keeping his grip firm on my neck and bringing his other hand up to palm my cheek.
“It was nothing,” I whispered, my breaths heavy. “All you’ve done for me…”
“It was everything,” he argued back, staring into my eyes. “Givin’ me your family. Trustin’ me with that. After everything you just said, straight up, babe, this ain’t nothin’. I know it ain’t.”
He was right. This was far from nothing.
“Easiest phone call I ever made,” I declared, speaking that honesty straight from my soul.
It was as if someone had flipped a switch and turned off everything around us. Stilled the water. Silenced the summer wind. The world went still.
Jamie’s fingers on my neck squeezed. He closed his eyes for a breath, then opened them again, brought us closer, pressed his forehead to mine, and swept his thumb over my cheek.
“I’d do it again,” he said quietly, staring into my eyes. “Don’t give a fuck what I’d end up losing as long as that ain’t you.”
I let his words circle my heart and sink inside it. I was never letting them out.
This love was mine.
Then pushing my fingers through the ends of his hair, I dipped lower so I could brush my mouth against his and whisper-teased, “You fuckin’ love me, boy,” just like Jamie was always doing with me.
His lip curled up, then he kissed me, slow and sweet, and told me he didn’t, which meant that he did.
So, so much.