five
Sticking to the Instructions God Gives You
Did you know that working in air traffic control (ATC) is considered one of the most stressful jobs in the world? ATC is ultimately in control of thousands of lives every day. If a controller messes up, planes could crash. Just imagine the pressure controllers are under. No wonder the actors who play them in movies sweat something fierce and smoke a lot of cigarettes. I would be sweating too, but given the fact I ingested used cigarette butts as a wee tot, I have no need to smoke now. Or ever.
A real-life controller, however, sets up a traffic pattern resembling a racetrack in the sky and communicates it to the pilot. Since ATC can see the big picture of where all aircraft in a certain area are located, pilots trust that the pattern given to them is a safe one. In turn, passengers trust the pilot to follow the route and to land their plane safely. But once ATC gives the pattern, it’s up to the pilot whether they will ultimately stick to it, steering to the right or left to land the plane safely. One of the most stressful jobs in the world is based on defined rules and patterns that are set. Imagine what would happen if this was not the case.
I believe one of the other most stressful jobs in the world is just living. Amen? Anyone else doing some living through some heartache or disappointment? Mercy. Life is hard, and when it doesn’t go as planned, we can feel a little sweaty or believe God has abandoned us.
Whenever life shocks or disappoints us, we need direction. Difficult circumstances or emotions like anxiety, grief, or jealousy prevent us from living abundantly, so God may use a repetition of messages from the mouths of others or the pages of Scripture to help us navigate the pain or confusion circling within us.
Thankfully, our God is like a controller who never messes up or takes his eyes off what is happening. Because of his omniscience, God knows everything that has circled, is circling, or will circle around us in this lifetime. Out of his great desire to protect us from something we cannot see or from what can harm us, God relays instructions throughout the pages of the Bible that help us navigate through life’s shocks and surprises.
For purposes of this section of the book, I will be using the word pattern metaphorically to describe God’s commands in verses that repeatedly teach us something about who God is or how we can obey him. Or I will use pattern to refer to the behaviors and thoughts that we repeatedly engage in.
With this in mind and like the instructions the ATC relays to a pilot, remember that God’s patterns—his commands—throughout the pages of Scripture are also defined and unchanging. Think what would happen if the opposite were true. There would be no racetrack in the sky for us to follow. We would never know what God is asking of us or if what he has said could change.
Thankfully, even though our patterns of behavior may change or be harmful, God himself is unchanging and his patterns scattered throughout the Bible are permanent. We should follow them, because our actions not only affect us but the lives of others as well. All we need to do is trust what we’ve been told, turn to the right or the left (Isa. 30:21), and stick to God’s pattern whenever life doesn’t go as planned.
Pattern: The Repetition of Different Colors, Shapes, Lines, or Images
Patterns can have multiple meanings and elements in design. Repetition focuses on the same object being repeated; patterns are made up from different components which are then repeated in the same way throughout the design.1
From paisley scarves around our necks to mosaic tile motifs on the floor beneath our feet, patterns are all around us. This design principle occurs whenever an object, symbol, or color is repeated throughout a room, swatch of fabric, or piece of artwork. Change the pattern, and you change the look of any window treatment, chair, or office cubicle. In fact, patterns are my favorite thing to incorporate into whatever I am designing because they add interest, beauty, and an element of fun into any interior space.
Take, for instance, a children’s area in a shopping mall or church nursery. The possibilities of how to make these spaces engage the imagination and spirit of a child are endless. The flooring may consist of carpet tiles that come in a variety of animal prints or in varying shades of blue with air bubbles and fish on them. The repetition of these prints or images help the children’s area feel like an underwater or jungle experience.
Patterns are also of great importance to a designer wanting to highlight the uniqueness of the region where a hotel he or she is working on will be located. For example, chair upholstery or a wallpaper border that has repeating diamonds, triangles, or kilim motifs works well for a lobby of a hotel located in the southwestern part of the United States. But if a designer is working on a room or hotel lobby located on the East Coast, they’ll use patterns that consist of damask, paisley, toile, or stripes, as the East Coast is more formal or traditional than the Southwest in its style.
God uses patterns of different types in our lives as well. His patterns are meant to catch our attention, teach us, and help us remember who he is and what he desires for our lives. This is by design. God uses repetition in our lives to reengage our mind and our spirit because we sometimes become forgetful and complacent in our faith. Or we rebel by surrounding ourselves with triangles and diamonds when God has asked us to live in the midst of stripes or paisley. Or maybe we think we have everything in order, so God places a person or situation in our path that is full of fluorescent plaid in order to wake us up, prompting us to change.
Although God uses patterns for his purposes, we also sometimes find ourselves in unhealthy patterns of our own creation. For instance, what do we do when we see specific things or thought patterns in our mind happening over and over again? Do we ignore them? Or do we grow from the warnings or messages that God lovingly places before us? I believe that we are to grow from them as my friend Carey has. Doing so enables her to follow patterns of truth as God redesigns her life.
Fighting for Truth
Carey Scott
We all have patterns in our life—those things we do often without knowing it. My family calls them “isms.” This could be a certain mannerism, like the way you move your arms or the way you pronounce a word. It could be a favorite route you drive to work without fail or the fact that you order the same type of dish, regardless of the restaurant.
We also have isms in the way we react to situations. My first response is usually defensiveness when someone is critical of me—be it constructive or not. I laugh hysterically when I get scared. And when I watch a movie where an animal is hungry or homeless, I’m a hot mess of tears that cannot be consoled. Sometimes isms can be a bit quirky.
There are patterns we follow with community too, certain people or personality types we tend to gravitate toward. For me, my ism is finding those deep-water girls who are willing to chew on the meaty topics. I hang with women who aren’t worried about looking perfect. I love the ones who have a story, often a hard one with lots of heartaches and overcoming. In a group, we’ll be the ones sitting in the corner sharing our struggles and challenges with one another. They are my people, and the ones I choose to do life with.
But we can also have isms that threaten to steal our joy and peace. They aren’t the cute or quirky kind that make others roll their eyes and giggle at our predictability. Instead, these are the patterns so deeply entrenched they are almost undetectable. Even more, they are dangerous.
At the urging of a friend, I agreed to keep track of any negative thoughts I had about myself for a twenty-four-hour period. She was doing some research to prove that women battle negative thought patterns, and I was her guinea pig. Her theory was simple: women regularly beat themselves up with unspoken words. And because I was sure this wasn’t one of my isms, I accepted the challenge. What I discovered shocked me.
The result wasn’t just a few negatives here and there. Instead, it was pages full of self-bullying.
In Proverbs 4:23 (GNT), God addresses this: “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” That list of negative thoughts became a flashlight. It revealed an ism—a pattern—that was casting a shadow on my self-worth. Every time I called myself stupid for losing my keys, or too much for having big feelings, or not enough for letting someone down, my confidence took a hit. And I began to see how I was walking those feelings of self-doubt out every day.
I’m learning to be more aware of patterns in my life. I want to applaud the good ones and stop the negative ones. Life is just too short to self-bully. And because our isms are often routine and habitual, it’s important to take inventory of them from time to time.
Even more, we are the glue that holds relationships together. We’re the freedom fighters for our friends. We are the ones who train up kids, support husbands, and care for aging parents. We have the opportunity to rule the world with grace and peace. And we can’t do that when we’re imprisoned by negative patterns.
I’m more aware of my thoughts these days. I’m more careful about the kinds of things I say to myself. And when I begin to see hurtful isms form in my mind, I’m quicker to ask God to replace them with patterns found in Scripture. Doing so helps me learn what God thinks of me and helps me understand who he is. Now I find strength and hope in him whenever something rattles my confidence. I hope the same for you too.
Pattern within the Pages of Scripture
For this is what the high and exalted One says—
he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.” (Isa. 57:15)
What beautiful words from the Old Testament book of Isaiah. You might want to memorize and recall them often. God, “the One who is high and lifted up” (ESV), chooses to dwell with us in order to revive us and restore us to himself. This is critical for us to receive and claim, because our circumstances can leave us feeling lonely and abandoned. Many believe that God created the world and then left it and us to our own devices. We may look around our world or even within our own home and feel that God has abandoned us or that he doesn’t care. This is not true.
The Bible teaches that God is transcendent, or independent from the universe (Ps. 90:2; Acts 17:24–25). But God is also the immanent or sustaining Creator of it (Col. 1:17). His Spirit dwells within his people and he is present in nature, ensuring that even the lilies and individual blades of grass are “clothed” in what they need to flourish (Ezek. 36:27; Matt. 6:25–30; 2 Tim. 1:14).
One of the greatest evidences that God is present with us and that he cares for us is his repetition of revelation.
General revelation is God’s communication of himself to all persons at all times and in all places. Special revelation involves God’s particular communications and manifestations of himself to particular persons at particular times, communications and manifestations that are available now only by consultation of certain sacred writings.2
Our God is a talker. He is involved in our lives. Romans 1 teaches that in a general sense God reveals himself to us through the natural creation around us. But we also have an ongoing need for more personal and specific communication with God that helps us to understand who he is and what he has planned for us.
Because he longs for us to know him and his plans for us, God speaks to us daily. We may experience an inaudible sense as we listen for his nudge during our prayer time. Or we may understand what he wants us to do in a specific situation via the words of Scripture that we are reading. But God will also intervene in human history, allowing us to see what he had scribbled on his kingdom calendar for a particular day.
For example, it was God who led his people out of Egypt and who parted the Red Sea. He also shut the mouths of lions to ensure the safety of Daniel, his beloved prophet. God called David, a lowly shepherd boy, in from the pasture and made him a mighty king. He sent his one and only Son, Jesus, to this earth, to die on the cross and resurrect from the grave.
Today, God continues to reach and save countless men and women through social media or missionaries with his gospel message. Our God is an efficient and effective communicator. His movement is seen throughout human history and saturates our prayer life and interaction with Scripture. From his repeated revelations we know that God continually provides for, rejoices in, and forgives those who love him.
God’s Patterns of Forever, Forgiveness, and Fun
While the specific ways God communicates with us on an individual basis vary, the patterns he designed for us to learn and grow from throughout the pages of Scripture are fixed or unchanging. Thank goodness. My brain is barraged with a myriad of messages from the internet and social media. Add to this my issues of aging and mom brain. I cannot remember all. the. things. Can you?
So my fellow forgetters, here is a sampling of some patterns that left an imprint on my scattered heart. They help me stay strong in my faith, encouraging me whenever I start to wander away from the God I love or whenever life becomes wearisome. A simple Google search will help you discover additional ones on topics like purity, money, prayer, or your identity and purpose in Christ. I decided to touch on the following patterns because they reveal more of who God is.
As a culture we are becoming increasingly me focused instead of God focused. No wonder contentment escapes us—we are looking for it in the wrong place. Our ultimate purpose or calling in this life is to know and love God. Anything other than him will never completely fulfill us. While some level of contentment can be found within human relationships, lasting contentment is ultimately found in our relationship with God.
We all fail. But God is holy.
We lie or exaggerate. God is honest.
We wound. God heals.
We hold a grudge. God extends grace.
Recognizing and responding to the following patterns puts our focus back on to where it needs to be when life surprises or shocks us—on God and God alone.
God’s Pattern of Forever3
One of the most beautiful and awesome things about our God is that he is forever. He always has been and will always be. There never was a time when he did not exist. There will never be a time when God ceases to be. The great I AM . . . is. Time itself and the seasons of this life do not limit or change God. He created them and is separate from them. God never tires or lives under the reality of a learning curve either. How different God is from us!
One of the gravest mistakes we can make is to think God doesn’t care or to leave him out of the hot messes we make. But this is sometimes hard for us to avoid. It’s been hard for me; there are times when it felt like God was either out to get me or apparently powerless to stop what was happening to me. It’s natural to wonder where God is when the proverbial hits of life just keep on coming.
There will be days when we doubt God’s availability and ability to be the best, because others do not treat us in the way we think is the best. But to project what others have done to us onto God, assuming he will behave in the same way, is an insult to his goodness, mercy, and holiness. Oh, if only we could begin to grasp the depths of God’s love for us. If only we could understand the value he places on every single human life, and the care he’s taking to work out his designs in our lives, then we would never point the finger at him when we are mistreated or when relationships in our life fall apart.
Stick to this pattern. Learn it well. Remember and rest in our forever God. Lasting security and peace are found only in him because he is the only everlasting One. I encourage you to give God your offense, anger, or feeling of betrayal the moment it surfaces. Cling to the pattern of forever whenever you feel that God doesn’t care or when people hurt or disappoint you. It is there to reorient your perspective and to teach you about the permanence of your God. How will you know this pattern when you see it? It will contain words or phrases like the following:
Everlasting
Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the whole world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God. (Ps. 90:2)
From the foundation or creation of the world
Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. (John 17:24)
Reign forever and ever
The LORD reigns
for ever and ever. (Exod. 15:18)
God’s Pattern of Forgiveness4
God’s forgiveness is another pattern that we need to cling to as life circles about us. There are days when I mess up big-time. I love the New Living Translation of the Bible and how the apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7:14–15, “The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. . . . For I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” For real, Paul. Preach. Sin feels good, maybe even comforting or justifiable in the moment. But it has consequences that are not warm and fuzzy.
To be honest, on most days my sin is all up in my face, making me feel unworthy of God’s forgiveness. Some days I shy away from asking God for it when I pray even though forgiveness matters and is important to God. How do I know it is important? Because it has a pattern. God repeatedly mentions the issue of forgiveness throughout Scripture. And because he is a forever God who is always with us, I believe he hates it whenever sin hinders our intimacy with him. Enter God’s drive to forgive us of sin. Stick to this pattern. Learn it well. Cease feeling unworthy and consider yourself and others worthy of forgiveness since God extends it to you.
God does not want us to be shy before him, but to be sanctified by him. He desires for us to “pop” for him and to not poop out on him. God never wants us to feel separated from him, but to live securely in him. So whenever you feel burdened under the weight of your sin and unworthy of forgiveness, look for this pattern and for verses in the Bible that contain the words forgiveness, forgiven, or transgressions: we can learn much from them. An online acquaintance, friend, spouse, or family member may choose not to forgive you, but God will and does. His forgiveness has these characteristics:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Ps. 103:11–12)
It is sure and dependable.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
It stems from the saving and sufficient work of Jesus (not from anything “good” we do or attempt to do).
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. (Eph. 1:7–10)
God’s Pattern of Fun5
Adulting is hard. Thank goodness for laughter. And boy, I sure do love me a good laugh, which usually results from something I did. For example, I sometimes don’t speak or apparently understand my native language of English very well. Which is awesome because I am writing in said native language to you.
When I was a little girl I used to watch the nightly news with my dad. Somewhere among the newscasts I misheard an oft-repeated phrase uttered by our meteorologist. For decades I would say to others something akin to, “Brrr. It is supposed to be freezing today. I heard that the windshield is going to drop to like -1 degree or something.” Did you catch the epic mistake that NO ONE FOR YEARS was kind enough to correct me on? I said “windshield.”
A windshield is the pane of glass that runs parallel to the front dashboard in your car. I, however, thought windshield had two meanings, thanks to the weatherman in Kansas. So I kept saying windshield instead of wind chill to whoever would listen. I can’t even believe I did this. Okay, yes I can.
It was finally my sweet husband who grew me up in weather speak and revealed my linguistic error. I was embarrassed and devastated. And then I laughed at myself for a long time. We still laugh whenever we hear a weatherperson say wind chill. Feel free to do the same.
I also pray that you will pause for a minute and consider how much you’ve allowed yourself to laugh lately. The kind of laughter that makes you snort like a pig or cry tears of joy. When was the last time you relaxed and did something for fun? Not something fun for your bestie, or for your children or spouse, but something that you consider to be fun that made you chuckle deeply?
I pray you are making that time to laugh, because our level of laughter is a telling indicator of our level of joy. As our social media feeds have rightly pointed out in a cacophony of memes, happiness and joy are two totally different things. Joy strengthens and sustains. Happiness is fleeting and fickle.
Even though life may not be going according to our plans, God desires for us to be joyful in the midst of the shocks and hurts. Why? Because he is joyful. God is working all things out for our everlasting good and his unending glory. Our God is eternal and forgiving, but he also laughs and is quite funny. This same joyful God is who we, as Christians, claim to love and strive to emulate on a daily basis.
Christians, then, should be the most joyful people on the planet. Not in a way that is overly cheesy, really loud, and in people’s faces. But in a more sure-and-steady kind of way. Those who love Jesus know what they have been saved from. They also know that all the things that hurt or frustrate them now will not follow them into eternity. Revelation 21:4 promises no death or tears will exist in heaven. The tears we shed right here and right now are the only ones that we, the children of God, will ever experience. Talk about a joy-producing thought, amen?
Let me be clear, I do not believe God wants us to pretend to be happy in dark seasons of life, faking everyone out while we fall apart inside. However, when we yield to the movement of God, pain and joy can coexist. I will touch on this when we discuss the principle of space in a later chapter, so hang on.
Joy is not surface deep, but soul deep. It doesn’t come and go but just is. Joy is not a result of our circumstances, but results in knowing our God and enjoying him no matter our circumstances. It isn’t something we can fake or produce within ourselves. It is a God-given gift. Are you asking God to fill the core of your soul with joy? Are you allowing the joy of the Lord to hold you up as you live a life you did not design? And if you are not experiencing some level of joy in your life, why do you think this might be?
Stick to this pattern. Cease trying to be surface-level happy. Ask God to fill you up with his soul-level joy whenever life falls apart, for joy gives us the strength to go on and helps to ease our stress level. And God has filled our world full of things that are fun and people that are just, well . . . funny. Go and enjoy them.
Look for patterns of fun that usually include the words joy, blessed, delight, pleasure, or laughter throughout the pages of Scripture. They’re gratifying to read and teach us several things:
God’s joy fulfills us.
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:11)
God rejoices over us.
For the LORD takes delight in his people;
he crowns the humble with victory. (Ps. 149:4)
Laughter is good for our soul.
A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Prov. 17:22)
Pay attention to and grow from patterns like these. God wants you to know more about him so you can place your confidence in him or experience freedom and joy whenever life doesn’t go as planned. Whether you find yourself in a desert season full of diamonds and triangles or in a fancy-schmancy season full of damask and toile, stick to the pattern as God redesigns your life. For this is what God wants us to know, rest in, enjoy, or in some instances obey, so we can navigate whatever is circling around us safely.