chapter thirteen.

Everyone knows Victoria Roberts. Everyone knows that when she’s not travelling the world she’s in front of a camera or shopping. Sometimes she combines the lot for her tough investigative exposés of anorexic models wearing furs on the runways of Milan, Paris and Rome. Life’s a bitch.

But Victoria Roberts wasn’t. She opened the front door to her Edwardian semi in Neutral Bay and I was attacked by two flying bundles of fluff. Working as a team, they licked my ankles, bounced at my knees and shepherded me into a supremely comfortable sofa. Then they went for my throat. Then my hair, my mouth and nose. It was impossible not to laugh, even as they chewed on my ears. They had absolutely no respect for the law.

She was much smaller than she looked on television. Whippet-thin. Short, messy, frosty silver hair and huge hazel eyes. Quite a bit of “smoky eye” make-up. Dressed in black linen pants with a cream silk shirt. Worn with a green pair of those Moroccan slippers that don’t have a heel. And a huge man’s gold watch, worn loose on her wrist. Do you call this “at home smart casual”? Whatever you call it, this was it and she made it look good.

“Oh, I’m so sorry about this. They have absolutely no manners. Please, let me get you a cup of coffee.” Now, that’s the way to get my attention, so I sat back in the so-soft feather cushions and looked around the room. Warm buttery cream walls, wide old polished floorboards scattered with oriental rugs and two oil paintings that were vaguely familiar and were either original or bloody good fakes. No visible television, but perhaps it was hidden in one of the carved armoires that flanked the fireplace. Today’s newspapers were piled on top of books and magazines on the coffee table, next to a bowl of pale pink and white peonies. French doors opened to a side pathway edged with gardenias, and I could see a small garden yard beyond. I wanted to live like this.

An old blonde Labrador ambled down the pathway, wagging her tail and ignoring the fluffy mosquitoes that ran up to her and were now swinging from her ears. She walked up to me, sniffed my hand, stuck her nose in my lap and then flopped down at Constable Jack’s feet with a deep sigh. “They’re the alarm bells, and Honey’s the enforcer.” Victoria was back with three coffee mugs and chocolate biscuits on a tray. “I’m sorry that this is a bit basic, but she ate the cake.” The Lab banged her tail on the floor and looked up with an adoring smile.

“Now, how can I help you, detective? Is this about James?”

Her story came smoothly, calmly and fluently. “We met when I interviewed him, and I didn’t think much of him. Said thanks very much and hopped onto a plane to the next assignment. He was married and I was busy, and I didn’t see him again for a few years. Then one night I was at a charity dinner and he was at the same table, and we shared a water taxi when it was over. He pointed out the little house in Birchgrove where he grew up, and we started to talk about his childhood and his family and found that we had a lot in common.

“We both loved the races and he had a few horses and was starting to develop the stud. He was better at picking winners. I’m an absolute mug punter, but I love the hats and the fashions and the atmosphere.

“My mother was a visiting nurse and we realised that she had looked after his mother for a while. He absolutely loved his mum and was very protective of her and made sure that she had round-the-clock care, but he didn’t cope well with her death. He didn’t cope well with sickness either. He didn’t cope well with anything that reminded him that he was getting old.

“I think I fell in love with him because of the tenderness and gentleness in him, especially when I saw him with his mother. And with his dogs. God, he loved those sooky dogs.” She shook her head and smiled.

“My dad told me that anyone who loves dogs can’t be all bad. And I saw beyond the public image, and the James that I fell in love with was totally different to the Jimbo that everyone thought they knew.” The two fur balls leapt onto her lap, circled, and settled down.

“We kept our wedding…No, we kept our relationship a secret because he was a bit embarrassed about having such a bad marriage record and, to be truthful, I really didn’t think that it’s anybody’s business what I do in my private life.” She nibbled on a chocolate biscuit. “Yum. I love these. I’m going to get sooo fat.”

Not bloody likely.

“Where was I? Oh, yes. He talked me into marrying him and keeping it our secret because he said that would be romantic. But after the wedding I found out that he was still seeing other women, and I realised that he really didn’t want anyone to know that we were married. I felt that he was ashamed of me. And then there was a big party for his fiftieth birthday and I wasn’t seated at his table.” She fiddled with the gold watch and lowered her eyes.

“That was around when the press discovered that we were married, but he was still denying it. That night was so humiliating. I felt that everyone was looking at me and wondering what was so wrong with me that he couldn’t admit to marrying me. That I couldn’t even sit with him for such an important occasion. That was the beginning of the end for us.

“And then his mother started having strokes and he lost the plot and really started to drink again. There were times when I’d come home and he was passed out in the living room. Once, he fell in the fish pond and almost drowned.”

Victoria leaned back and closed her eyes. “I was travelling a lot for the television program and was in London when I realised that I was pregnant. I’d had all sorts of problems and thought that I couldn’t have children, so I was over the moon. Anyway, the interview wrapped ahead of schedule so I decided to come back home a day early and surprise James. Big mistake.” She looked at me, and continued.

“I walked in on him and Lynnette asleep in our bed and I just turned around and kept on walking to my best friend’s house. Then the next day he was told that his mother was dying, so he got drunk and jumped on a plane to Los Angeles, which was what he did whenever he had to face reality. I had to step back into the picture to look after his mother. She died two days later, but we couldn’t find James. Suzie, his poor PA, was in tears.

“Eventually we found him holed up in a health resort but every time we scheduled her funeral we had to postpone it because he wouldn’t get on a plane to come back to Sydney. He had her kept on ice until he came home nearly three weeks later. That poor woman! She adored him. She worshipped him. And he left her to die alone and then he had her put in a refrigerator until he sobered up.” She dabbed her eyes and continued.

“When I saw Lynnette hanging off him at the funeral I knew that I couldn’t stay married to him. I told him that I was pregnant and he asked me who the father was, and that was when I realised he truly was a monster. I told him I was leaving him, and he went berserk and hit me in the stomach with his fist. He hit me and hit me and hit me.” She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “He told me he would kill me if I didn’t have an abortion, and I believed him. I know what he’d had done to Nick Wells.

“That was when I knew that I couldn’t continue the pregnancy because I couldn’t be responsible for continuing that insane DNA.

“So first I had an abortion and then I had a nervous breakdown and did some pretty silly things that I regret now.” A single tear trickled down her cheek. “And then I took a year off and worked out what I really want from life, and who I really am.” She looked around with a smile. “I know what I need to live a good life and I know what makes me happy. I know that James was a terrible mistake but I learned a lot from that mistake. I prefer not to think about that time because he represented such a small part of my life and I have so much happiness and love now.

“There was a time when I could have cheerfully killed him. And that bloody tramp Lynnette. Now’s she’s a real piece of work.” She gave a rueful smile and shook her head. “I think they were truly co-dependent and I know that they both deserved each other.

“At times I felt sorry for her, especially when he dumped her after their second wedding and shacked up with an office temp who ended up even crazier than me! That was Deirdre. He didn’t marry her, but he ruined her health and her life. They had two kids, and he left her when she was pregnant. She eventually went back to England and took an overdose. I don’t know what happened with her children.

“He made a habit of getting his women pregnant and then either pressuring them to have abortions or leaving them when they were most vulnerable. And then he disappears for a couple of years with his new love, and then complains when the kids don’t want to see him when he finally decides that he wants to be superdad.

“I’m sorry that James is dead, but I’m also sorry that I can’t help you other than to tell you that he was a very complex man who generated intense feelings in many, many people. I always thought that he would end up dying in a pub brawl or at the bottom of a cliff or in a car wrapped around a tree.”

I found my voice. “But can you think of anyone who could have actually killed him or had someone do it? Was there anyone who you can think of who is capable of that?”

Victoria cuddled one of the dogs, and looked at me. “Anyone who really knew James is capable of eventually wanting to kill him. There were times when I could have, if I thought I could get away with it. Perhaps he just pushed someone too far. He did that so easily. When he was drinking he was unpredictable. I’d have to walk on eggshells, and it turned me into a nervous wreck. He did some wonderfully generous, unselfish things for people, but he could be a complete bastard to others.

“I’ve been asked to put together something on him for the magazine, but I don’t want to do it. James lived his life to the full and without rules, and now someone has killed him. Perhaps he deserved it. Who knows? And who am I to judge? All I know is that it wasn’t me and I don’t know who did it.” The Labrador stood up and climbed onto the sofa next to Jack. She buried her nose in his lap and sighed. I added the dog to my hate list.

“And for the record, I was with my mother all day on Friday until she died just before midnight. She was buried yesterday, and Honey was her dog. We both miss her.”