THE BACK OF MY HEAD THROBS TO A STEADY BEAT:
Thump-a, thump-a, thump-a.
Feels like my head’s about to explode. I groan. Blink until my eyes fully open. I’m greeted with darkness. I blink some more, force my eyes to adjust. The thumping continues. I touch my head to make sure a vein’s not about to punch out of it. Pain sears from my scalp as soon as my fingertips graze it and I wince. Pain is good, though. Pain tells me that I’m not dead.
“Jay?”
My heart catches in my throat. That voice . . . that voice sounds familiar. The same one that would shake me awake in bed to make sure I didn’t miss the bus. The same one that would whine at me when I had to shake her to make sure she didn’t miss the bus. The same one that would reassure me of its presence when everything got too much: “You and me against the world, right?”
I push myself up to all fours. The dark room starts spinning, and I search for the voice. Search for something to keep me steady.
Again: “Jay!”
“Nic!” Her name explodes out of me, eclipsing any thumping going on.
My eyes catch on to an outline of my sister running toward me. Her gait is so strained, so jagged, that I almost think she’s a ghost. But then she pulls me in for a hug, and she’s so warm and real that the tears burst out of me.
“Nic,” I choke out. I touch her braids. Make sure she’s still real. “Nic?”
“It’s me,” Nic sobs and squeezes me tighter. “I promise. It’s me.”
We cling to each other with all the strength we have left. When one of us buckles, the other lifts us back up. I bury my face in the space between her neck and shoulder. Can’t remember the last time we hugged each other like this. With so much sentiment. Maybe it was right after MiMi explained to us that Mom was going to be gone for a long, long time. Nic pulled me to her chest, let me bury my face in her shoulder so nobody else had to see me cry. I left a puddle on her new sweater, but she didn’t care. She looked out for me like that. She’s doing the same for me now, even though she’s the one that’s probably been through hell. Doesn’t matter. She’ll be my big sister ’til the end.
Finally, Nic pulls away. Cups my face in her hands. “You’re real.”
I choke out a small laugh. “I’m real.” I touch her face, too. “So are you.”
Nic smiles and rests her cheek more into my palm. Then she blinks as if suddenly remembering she left the oven on. “Did they hurt you? What are you doing here?”
Here? Where’s here? I wipe away the rest of my tears with the back of my sleeve and scan the room. It’s dusty, dank. Cluttered with a tattered plaid couch and old foosball tables and paddles and flags with Greek lettering on it. DU. Delta fickin’ Upsilon. The bass continues and I realize it’s not coming from my head—it’s coming from outside. Somewhere above us. The music on Frat Row. I’m still in the damn frat house. The basement, maybe? This must be the room with the locked door that Liam kept sweating about.
Against one of the walls is a mattress on the floor covered by a thin sheet. A tray lies next to it with discarded pieces of fruit and a sandwich. The sight makes me want to gag. I really take Nic in. Her braids hang limp from her head, almost like they’ve given up. Her jean skirt has a tear on the bottom, and her shirt is wrinkled and covered in dirt. Now my stomach clenches even tighter.
“Have they been keeping you in here?” I ask Nic.
Nic’s bottom lip trembles as she nods. She rubs her eyes furiously with the heels of her hands, like she’s refusing to let herself cry about it.
“Nic.” I hold on to her arm. “I don’t understand. What happened?”
Nic blows breath out of her mouth, puffing some of the braids out of her face. “Javon and I got into it a few weeks ago at a party.”
I nod rigorously. I knew this part. The party a little over two weeks ago, where Sterling was being a bad friend and Javon was being a worse boyfriend.
“I took off. Kenny was already outside. He had to make a deal for Javon. He said he’d take care of that first, then take me wherever I needed to go to cool off. He pulled up . . . here. Told me to wait in the car.” Nic hugs herself, rubs her arms up and down as if she caught a chill. “But he was taking a long time. Longer than I expected. So, I finally got out of the car and came in here to check on him. They were having some get-together. Nothing huge like tonight. The guys didn’t even want to have this thing tonight, but all the frats had to . . .” The guys? She talks about them like they’re old friends. Nic shakes her head as if she suddenly remembers who she is and the assholes she’s talking about. “But people were dancing, giggling. Feeling lovely, you know? I searched around for Kenny—then heard shouting coming from one of the bedrooms. I think they were trying to stiff Kenny. I kept hearing them yell, ‘We don’t have your money!’ And then one of them called Kenny a nigger.”
My fists clench on autopilot. That word coming from these boys’ mouths was something more than them just copying off their favorite rapper. When they used it, they did it with intention. And their intention was to make Kenny feel like a lowlife.
“I heard scuffling,” Nic continues. “I’m sure Kenny took a swing at the guy who said it. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then the scuffling got louder and louder. I ran to the door, peeked inside. . . .” Nic closes her eyes and the tears begin to pour. “They were all on top of him, Jay. And it happened so quickly. By the time I got there—” She lets out a sob. I reach to rub her arm again, but she shakes her head. Lets me know she needs to keep going. “When they got off him, he wasn’t moving, Jay. And I just knew . . . I knew immediately. He was gone.” She wipes the tears from her face and her lips purse in anger. “They caught me staring so I ran. Couldn’t leave out because too many people were in the living room. They would’ve ratted on me. So, I ran up the stairs. Hid in one of the bedroom closets. Then I tried calling you.” She peeks up at me.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. Crack my knuckles over and over until they burn. But I want to feel pain right now. I deserve it.
“I couldn’t talk too loud because I didn’t want them to hear me,” she continues—and keeps pouring salt into my open wounds. “After you hung up, I tried calling you again. You didn’t pick up and then . . . they found me. One of them took my phone. Texted something to you to throw you off.”
I stumble back, fall against a wall behind me. I’m such an idiot. I’m such a fickin’ idiot. If only I’d paid attention, if only I’d been a good brother—Nic would’ve been home all this time and Kenny’s parents would have answers. Not to mention those racist pricks upstairs would’ve paid for what they did to him.
“I’m sorry, Nic.” My throat clenches as the words come out, but I keep going. I have to. I’ll keep apologizing to Nic until the day that I die. “I’m so sorry. If I wasn’t being stubborn. If I didn’t think you were—”
“High on bliss?” Nic asks, then sighs. “Let’s not do this right now—play the whole blame game. That’s not important. Besides . . .” She gives me a weak shrug. “One of them has a conscience. Tyler, I think. He makes sure I eat. Brings down food. Even gave me some soap and deodorant.”
I scoff. “A conscience? If that mofo had a conscience he’d let you go free a long time ago.”
“Well, maybe not a conscience, but he’s definitely cracking or something. I don’t know. If the others weren’t here, I think he would have let me go.”
I pause as the words sink in. If the others weren’t here. But they were. A whole group of them, spiraling enough to keep her cooped in here for weeks while having parties over her head. Hell, they were disturbed enough to beat Kenny to death and then dump his body at a park. These frat guys were long gone in the head—so what the hell did that mean for me and Nic now?
The door swings open and the music gobbles the basement. It dissipates as the door slams closed and footsteps come barreling down the stairs. Liam leads the charge with his two lackeys from Taco Bell behind him—one of them the same guy he roughed up in the hallway. I pull Nic behind me, puff out my chest. These dudes killed Kenny with their own hands. I know they could do the same to me. But, like Kenny, I wasn’t going down without a fight.
Liam looks me over, his eyes racing like they’re trying to keep up with the deranged thoughts racing through his head. He chucks a roll of masking tape at my feet.
“Tie each other up,” he says.
Nicole sucks in a breath behind me. I resist the urge to do the same and puff my chest out even more.
“No,” I say.
Liam rolls his eyes, not buying my tough guy act. “Tie each other up, or we’ll do it for you.”
“Liam,” the guy from the hallway scuffle says. “Maybe we should just let them hitch it. If this guy came looking for her, who’s to say nobody else will? Everyone’s gone now. They didn’t see us bring him down here. And I doubt Nicole would say—”
“Shut the fuck up, Tyler!” Liam barks. “Just because you gave this chick a goddamn ham sandwich doesn’t make her your best friend! I don’t trust her . . . and I don’t trust this idiot with her.” He glares back over at me. “Tie each other up. I won’t tell you again.”
My heart pounds so fast that I think it’s ready to box all three of these guys in front of me. Still, I can’t give in. If I struggle long enough, loud enough, one of their brothers upstairs is bound to hear us. Maybe a sane one that could call for help. I ball my fists. “And I won’t tell you again,” I say. “No.” I spit at his feet to punctuate my refusal.
Liam’s eyebrows lift at me. I can’t tell if he’s impressed or surprised. Maybe both. We have a stare off. Finally, he hitches his head and the nameless lackey rushes to my side. Before I can even throw my hands up, he swings out a right hook and his fist collides against the knot on the back of my head. The last thing I hear before greeting darkness again is Nic shouting my name.
I’m jostled awake by a bump underneath me. My eyelids snap open and one of Nic’s braids pokes me in the eyeball. I try to push away from her, but everything’s too cramped. Too tight. I try to use my hands to sit up but they’re bound together in front of me.
“You awake?” Nic asks. She lies on her side with her back turned to me.
I don’t answer. I’m still trying to figure out where the hell I am. I shift my head and I stare up at a metal covering. More bumps underneath me and I realize we’re moving. I can barely stretch out my feet and the scents of gas and rubber tires trickle into my nose. We’re in a car. Worse, we’re in the trunk of a car. Holy shit.
“Holy shit,” I say aloud. I swing my legs over Nic’s and start kicking at the fabric lining. I’ve seen that in the movies. Kick hard enough and the backseat would push forward, provide a small space for us to slip though.
“I’ve tried that already,” Nic says. “This car’s too old. Plus, I think someone’s back there, keeping it in place.”
Too old? Of course this douche didn’t want us dirtying up his fancy Escalade. I kick one more time to be sure then wiggle around again. “What about a latch?” I say. There has to be a latch. Something to yank on and pop the trunk.
“I told you. The car’s too old. It doesn’t even have that feature.” She sighs. “We’re going to have to wait until they pop the trunk themselves.”
Yeah, but what do they plan on doing when they open the trunk themselves? “How long have we been driving?” I ask her.
“Not sure. A couple of minutes. Maybe ten?”
Ten minutes. I try to think of everything around the JRU campus. The shipyard was just a few minutes out. The hospital was down the street, but I highly doubt they were being Good Samaritans. Huntington Beach was close by. Shit—were they planning on dumping us in the ocean?
My nerves go into overdrive as I feel the car stop, park. “Nic,” I say, breathless. “Nic, I’m going to get us out of here. I promise.”
I hear Nic sniffle as the trunk pops open. Liam’s hands come flying down at me as he yanks me out of the trunk, throws me on the ground. Tyler grabs hold of Nic, but his approach with her is gentler. My eyes scan around the area. A bike trail in the distance, skirting along rows of trees. A field perfect for throwing frisbees—or peewee football practice. They brought us to Deer Park. The same spot where Javon and I found Nic’s phone. The same spot where they buried Kenny.
I swallow, try to push my heart back down. “What are you going to do with us?” I demand.
“Get up and start walking,” Liam says.
I climb to my feet. “Why don’t we just solve this man to man?” I try. “You take me down, all good and well. I take you down? You have to let me and my sister go.”
“Jay. No,” Nic pleads.
Liam and the nameless lackey chuckle. Tyler just keeps ahold of Nic’s arm, looks down at the ground.
“Seems like your sister knows what’s best for you, homeboy,” Liam says. He spits out that last word like tobacco. Like it wasn’t even a good enough term to use for the likes of me. My blood is on fire. “Now turn around and walk. Don’t even think about running.” He yanks Nic away from Tyler and pushes her toward me.
I use my bound hands to make sure she’s steady, then reluctantly begin walking deeper into the park. Nic right next to me. My eyes dart everywhere, searching for my next move. I knew this park so well when I was a kid. There has to be some place where Nic and I can shake these guys. Some path that we scurry down, hide out until morning when visitors might arrive. Maybe we could even sneak out to the convenience store about two miles away and get hold of a phone.
“Stop right here,” Liam orders, interrupting my escape planning. “And drop to your knees.”
Nic and I freeze in our tracks. I spot a trail that leads right into the trees maybe a few feet in front of us, but Liam steps forward and eclipses my view.
“Drop to your knees. Now!”
Nic whimpers and falls to her knees. But my knees won’t buckle. I already let Nic down before. I can’t do it again.
“I said, drop to—”
I launch forward, slam my entire body into Liam’s. A grunt oozes out of his mouth as he tumbles to the ground. I collapse right on top of him.
“Nic, run!” I cry out just as Liam pushes me off him. I’m on my back and he crawls over to me, lifts his fist to show me what’s what. I take my bound hands and deck him on the side of his head. Scurry away from him enough to climb back on my feet. Nic and Tyler watch me in horror, their eyes as round as clocks.
“Run, Nic!” I demand again.
Nic snaps out of it before Tyler does. She darts toward the trail I scoped out earlier. Just as I take off after her, I’m tackled from behind. The air puffs out of me as my chin smacks against the ground. Again. At this point, that scar will never go away. I’m flipped over and Nameless Lackey’s over me, punches me right in the mouth before I can dodge it. My tooth pokes into my upper lip but I can’t scream. I have to survive.
I hitch my knee up and collide it right in between this asshole’s legs. He cries out, grabs his crotch. Frees his face. I smack my forehead against his to get him off me. Damn if I don’t see stars, but it works. It fickin’ works.
I scramble onto one foot just as Liam cuts through the night and sends his shoe right to my face. I fall back again. So much ringing in my ears that I almost think about answering my phone. Where the hell is my phone?
I don’t get to feel for it because Liam’s shoe comes at me over and over again. I shield my arms over my head as much as I can, but his foot rams against my chest. My stomach. I cough up something sour as another shoe rams against my shoulder.
“Stop! Stop, please!” Nic screams from somewhere behind me. She didn’t get away. All of this and she still didn’t get away.
The kicks keep coming and I roll to my side. Curl up in a fetal position. Try to find some comfort until this ends the way it’s supposed to end.
“Enough, guys—enough!” Tyler. I think.
The kicks finally stop and I attempt to pull in a breath, but my ribs feel like they’ve been in a blender. I hear someone coughing up something thick and wrong, and then a wad of something wet plops right on my cheek. I let out a yell that sounds just like a growl. My body may be broken, but dammit, they’ll feel my rage.
Liam grabs me by the shoulders and drags me next to Nic, who’s back on her knees right in front of Tyler. She reaches for me, but Liam smacks her hand away.
“Don’t you fuckin’ touch him!” he demands. Then kicks hard at the ground as if he’s imagining my ribs again. He balls his fists and shouts into the sky. This dude is losing it and I’m the cause. Good. At least I can own that.
The nameless lackey walks over and passes Liam a bat. Nic whimpers. Inches closer to me.
“Wait,” I strain. My tongue even hurts at this point. “You don’t have to do this. We won’t say anything!”
Liam scoffs at me and shakes his head.
“Maybe he’s right.” Tyler steps forward and holds up both hands to his friend. “You said so yourself, this chick’s nothing but a blisshead. Who the hell would believe her? And then him?” He juts a thumb at me. “You think a cop is going to take his word over ours?”
Liam shakes his head again. “I told you already. They know too much. And if we would’ve gotten rid of this bitch when I wanted to, he wouldn’t even be a problem. This is the only way. Now back off!”
“But Liam . . .”
The other frat guy pushes Tyler away from Liam. Liam must have this guy’s balls all up in his hand. Nicole cries again and looks down at the ground. I look over at her, hang my head in defeat.
“I’m so sorry, Nic,” I say again. I want those to be the last words she hears. The last thing she remembers. Not her brother trying and failing to set her free. I need her to look at me and be okay and know that I did all this because I love her. “I tried. I really tried. I’m sorry.” The final words hiccup out of me.
Nic shakes her head at me and forces out a smile. “You and me against the world, right?”
A tear falls from my eye. Me and her against the world. Even ’til the end. This is the period, the finality, I’ve been searching for. Liam lifts his bat, ready to do damage. I inch ahead of Nic. Close my eyes and hope he strikes me first. I wait for the pain to come. Hope it’s quick and that I won’t feel anything soon. I just wish MiMi knew about the money. Knew how much I love her. Hope she tells Mom how much I tried to put her family back together.
“Hands up! Freeze!”
My eyes fly open and Rick Ross stands a few feet away from us, pointing his gun at Liam and his frat brothers. I blow out a breath and try not to pass out.