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I lingered in front of the Triad dormitory, hesitant to enter. I was supposed to meet up with Thea for our weekly Banshee sign lesson, but how could I now I decided to give it up?
She’d asked me if I was serious about this and back then, I was. Back when I thought I would be disowned and I’d have to find new meanings in life.
Things were different now.
Soon, I would be busy with Valkyrie and Heir duties. There would be no time or space in my life for a skill like this.
Still... I had to tell her.
I should tell her...
I took a deep breath and turned around. I couldn’t.
I walked away, one word echoing through my head. Coward.
“You’re just doing what must be done,” I muttered to myself, trying to justify my choices. “This was always your destiny.”
I stared at the sheets I was holding, the homework for this session. I’d done it earlier this week, eager to learn more. The sets of words were burned into my memory, not easy to erase.
One hand formed them effortlessly. “Bread. Coffee. Knife. Teacup. Table.”
Simple words, the absolute basics. I’d lapped them up, desperate to learn more. I’d committed them to my memory, but now I needed to forget. Forget the words, forget Thea, and forget how it made me feel.
I crumpled the sheet into a ball and tossed it in a bin. I no longer needed it.
With a last look at the Triad dormitory, I pushed into the Valkyrie building. My choice was made.
I was eager to get to my room and hide. From the world, from the other Wind Children, from myself.
If only it was ever that simple.
“Bryn! Yooo!” Stina caught up with me on the stairs, her cheeks flushed red from her effort. “I’ve got everything you asked for.”
I accepted the stack of summaries and sheets. “Good.”
“A couple of our classmates refused, but most of them have come around to see the truth.”
We reached the top of the stairs and I looked at her. What was she talking about?
“The truth?” I asked, patting my pockets for my keys. I still wasn’t used to locking my door, but I just felt better that way.
Stina nodded. “That you weren’t to blame for the storm or how you acted. You’re still the same strong, amazing person you always were.”
My stomach churned. It was hard to listen to her bullshit. The way she said it, it sounded so sincere. No wonder I was fooled by it.
“Hmmm.” I opened my door, unsure what to do now. Usually, Stina would come and, we’d have coffee and just chat about everything and nothing. I didn’t think I’d have the stomach for that, but I also couldn’t keep alienating her.
What was I supposed to do now?
“Bryn?”
My hands balled tight. I even loathed how she said my name.
I stared at her, repressing any anger. “Yes?”
“You should have a party.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
She shrugged noncommittally. “To show everyone you’re still in charge. After the storm, some people are still on the fence. It’ll be good to remind them of who you are.”
She was right.
I hated that she was right.
With my head down, I pushed into my room. “I’ll think about it.”
“I can organise it for you.”
“I said, I’ll think about it.” Before she could come in, I reduced the door to a crack. “I have a lot to catch up on. I’ll see you in class.”
“But—”
The door clicked into the lock, the silence a warm welcome. I’d been pretending my entire life, but being polite to Stina was a step too far. To make matters worse, I’d just ghosted the only person I could talk to about this.
What one didn’t sacrifice for duty...
With a sigh, I dropped the stack of summaries down on my desk. The window caught my reflection and I stared at myself. My tired eyes and slouched shoulders didn’t reflect the image of a future Matriarch. They were supposed to stand tall, be proud, exude confidence.
I did none of that. Not anymore.
If I was going to make Grandmamma happy, I had to change that. I had to become the person she needed me to be. For that, I had to restore my reputation.
Unfortunately, there was only one person that could help me with that. The one person I didn’t want to talk to.
As much as I hated it, I had no choice. Disappointing my Matriarch was not an option.
I hurried to the door, hoping I was in time to catch Stina. “Hey!”
She poked her head back around the corner of her doorframe. “Bryn?”
“Yes. I’ve made up my mind. Plan the party.”
Stina’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yes.” I suppressed my annoyance. “Let’s do it this weekend, my room. Invite as many as you want. You can sort the rest.”
She pumped her fist. “You can count on me!”
Ironic.
Was this what my future would look like?