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Chapter 23

UCFF Plans

The truth is strange. Many people believed that the Lord’s Resistance Army, led by Joseph Kony, had a religious purpose. Kony and his forces have no agenda—no goal—no moral excuse for what they did, except power over anyone they encountered. Murder and rape placed Joseph Kony at number one on the world’s list of international criminals. Most countries didn’t care about him, as long as he didn’t interfere with a needed supply of oil, natural resources, cheap labor or goods. Kony was just a bad guy in the jungles of far-off African countries, which may change their names every year or so.

Joseph Kony was an unhappy man. He was that way most of the time, but when two of his good men failed to report on a timely basis, it meant they were dead.

Kony didn’t have any forces in the part of the Congo where all these people congregated, but he did have contacts within a rebel faction operating close by. Rebel groups are as numerous as start-up businesses. A group of natives get their hands on some guns and call themselves liberators, while they steal, murder and rape their own people. Not much different from a bunch of guys in the hood, deciding to get together and hold up a liquor store.

If they were good as rebel combatants, others joined. If they weren’t crafty and clever, the DRC military would wipe the jungle floor with them. The rebels Kony knew included ex-LRA members, along with soldiers from the Hutu “Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Rwanda,” and the Rwandan backed M-23. Primarily the rebels had been in conflict with the Allied Democratic Forces-National Army for Liberation of Uganda Islamist forces that had some ties with al Qaeda and of course the Congolese Government troops, along with some United Nations Organization Stabilization Mission to the Congo or MONUSCO UN troops. Although the names of an opposition might change through the years, there was very little variety in the small wars they fought. Decades of conflict had made “warring” part of the landscape in Africa.

The “Ituri Conflict,” occurring in the northeastern region of the DRC, was the scene of many battles among rebel groups. About one hundred miles upstream from the quarry, the Aruwimi River ran into the Ituri River and smack dab through the war zone. On the other hand, thick jungle and lack of military targets kept the quarry section of the Aruwimi River free of fighting.

Hordes of scientists awaited the end of conflict to begin exploring most of the Congo basin, eager to discover and classify yet unknown plant and animal life. Pygmies reported a new giant chimpanzee, large enough to kill a lion. Natives still speak of the elusive Mokele-Mbembe, or dinosaur they claim to have seen. Undoubtedly, surprises were in store for experts to examine.

The group Joseph Kony contacted was called UCFF, an acronym for Union of Congolese Freedom Fighters, not to be confused with the UPC or Union of Congolese Patriots, to whom some of the group had migrated. Unlike most rebel units who wore uniforms and combat boots, the UCFF wore T-shirts and tennis shoes. Most dressed in camo slacks, commonly available, but some UFCC even wore shorts. Why not be comfortable while shooting, killing, and raping? Kony told his followers that untold riches awaited them if they ambushed an expedition on its way out of the area.

The UCFF, aware of the Sony group from a source in the DRC army, felt they could attack the expedition’s vehicles as they left the quarry. Kony wanted a squad of men to move quickly from the Ituri region. Twelve UCFF men were given orders and directions. Part of their trip would be by truck and the rest by foot. Kony instructed that fifty percent of the loot be sent to him by courier after the encounter. The UCFF officer hung up, and laughed at the audacity of a man hidden in the jungle, changing locations every night and demanding proceeds from an unfamiliar raid. However, Kony felt he had the same power he had held in his so-called glory days. Since UCFF was cash-strapped, they proceeded with the raid. They had no intention of sharing with anyone—especially Kony.

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Sony and Carol heard the ruckus, and poked their heads out of their tents to see the girls arrive on the helicopter. They both exclaimed all four girls were drop dead beautiful. Carol noticed Roland’s movie star looks but kept most of her comments to herself. She didn’t want to dampen the mood inside the tent. A battery-powered lantern on a makeshift table, made from a flat board laid across a camp stool, cast the only light in their tent. To say they were “enjoying themselves” would be an understatement.

“I don’t see why I can’t be on top. Is it because I’m a woman and you need to—like dominate another human?” Carol asked. She started stripping off her clothes.

“Wait…wait! I want the perverted pleasure of slowly undressing you myself,” Sony said. He removed her hand from her blouse and starting the unbuttoning process.

“Is this going to be like a Harlequin Romance where the ‘get ready’ lasts for most of the book?” She smiled and watched him fumble with her buttons.

“Don’t tell me you read those things? My grandmother reads them.”

“Is your grandmother a horny old lady?” Carol positioned her smiling face under his gaze, and kissed him.

“That has not been a part our conversations, but on her 95th birthday, I’ll be sure and ask her.”

“Sony, we have two flimsy cots and a couple of thin foam pads. Where are we going to consummate our jungle marriage? I was thinking of a brass bed under a banana tree, with monkeys watching from above. I love monkeys watching me have sex—don’t you?”

“Of course, dear. Are your medications nearby?”

“Are you going to use one of those rubber socks during sex? I take birth control pills you know,” she said. The top part of her body was exposed. He was feverishly working on her pants but couldn’t master the fastening device on the front of her slacks.

“Are these pants or a chastity belt? I won’t use a condom, if you promise you don’t have a disease where I wake up in the morning and find my dick has fallen off.”

“Honey, I don’t think my germs are that strong—at least when the doctor gave me those antibiotics he felt everything would clear up in a few months,” she said. He overcame the fastener and removed her pants. His hands were on her lovely lace-fringed Victoria’s Secret panties, and he couldn’t resist asking a certain question.

“You cannot have sex with me unless you give me this answer. I’m sure they tell you girls when you buy things there. What is Victoria’s Secret?” He lowered her last undergarment. Gracefully, she stepped out of her panties. She was indeed a beautiful naked lady. Sony couldn’t help staring at her, up and down.

“Sony, are you ready for this? Victoria was a man! It’s true. He had an operation. All of his junk removed, and now he has a makeshift vagina. Well, he was a fashion designer named Victor and even though he is a she, there was a need for cool women’s underwear—so voilà—it was he/she to the rescue,” she said. Both hands undressed Sony, who rolled his eyes and smiled at her ability to make up stuff on the fly.

“And Carol, again, where do you keep your crazyass meds.?” Sony was now completely undressed. Carol didn’t mess around with slowly relishing button after button.

They decided to move the pads and sleeping bags to the floor of the tent. Sony gladly let Carol get on top. Just as Sony suspected, she proved to be a fun lover. Recalling an earlier conversation, she told Sony his size was fine, and her ring size was six and a half. If she made a serious statement, the purpose was to set up a punch line later. They consummated their phony jungle marriage that night several times and would be very sore the next day. Neither one cared.

A few yards away, tension completely filled a different tent. Lu and Chris sat on their cots and looked at the ground, saying nothing but breathing heavily. Lu had moved from the melting point to somewhere around just simmering. Chris fidgeted like a young boy who had a porno site going on his computer when his mom came into his room for a sit down chat and had just enough time to turn the screen away but couldn’t remember if the sound was turned off. Any minute the boy and his mom would hear, “Oh yes, fuck me! Oh my God! Yes!” and his life would be over.

Lu waited for something to come out of Chris’s mouth that would make everything better. Maybe some words from him that would explain the deceit. Technically, he hadn’t lied to her. He really did go on a lion hunt. He and the other guys just left off a few details about the aftermath of the great hunt. The side trip was a big deal omission. If they had gone to a titty bar and had drinks, that would have been something guys do and would have garnered a small ass chewing. If they had snuck in a golf game or took in a football game, all would have been forgivable breaches of conduct. To fly to another country and meet up with an expedition that had taken five lives the last time around and held the possibility of injury or death, well, he knew he had stepped over the line.

“Lu, I love you. I made a promise to be with you until I die. I plan to do just that. I also made a promise to Plato to help find what Papa Doc had hidden from his country and to help the earthquake victims of Haiti. Plato held the key to that mystery in a second log he had in his possession. All the gold Papa Doc secretly mined in Haiti went to the BIOA bank in the Ivory Coast. That gold would be sold off to help the Haitian people. Even more important to the people was the result of the 1966 Cole expedition. What Cole found was a long lasting funding source and a boost for the economy of the Congo as well—we believe. Our expedition has the twin purpose of exploring the potential value of mineral here and creating a plan to mine them that’s acceptable environmentally. Surely you don’t have a problem with these lofty goals.” He stared right into her eyes that were red from crying.

“Don’t call me Shirley.” After the short bypass to tired humor, she verbally let loose with all guns a blazing. “We had something special, Chris. It’s called trust. You just shit all over that and left me in the position of picking up your dead body in the Congo and telling your son, Reid, ‘Daddy’s not coming home anymore.’ Do you think he wants to lose his daddy? What in the fuck were you thinking?”

“Lu, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but if I had you would’ve refused to let me go. We’re here now—so deal with it!” Lu sensed the frustration and anger in Chris’ voice, which somewhat calmed her down.

“So, what are we going to be doing tomorrow—besides killing snakes and swatting tsetse flies?” Lu realized that she had sufficiently chewed on Chris. Further talk would be counterproductive.

“You and the girls can…what is that sound?” Chris said. Something hit the roof of their tent.

“Is it rain or hail?” Lu said.

“Arrows! Lots of frigging arrows!” Chris and Lu could see the points protrude in some places on the sides of their tent. Arrows stuck to the top of the tent. A rain fly prevented them from entering the tent. The couple pushed their cots together. Chris shielded Lu’s body as best he could.

Bruny yelled, “Move your cots to the center of the tents. Don’t touch the arrows—they are most likely poisoned. Stay inside. Guards stay behind your shields and fire rounds into the trees.”

The expedition leader was glad he had told the guards to take the wooden shields that lined the interior wall of the enclosure. Tomorrow, he would have everyone place the shields on the outsides of their tents.

The big Barrett .50 caliber as well as the M-16 could be heard firing off rounds into the tree line around the enclosure. Jean-Jean and Osse were shooting wildly as if to say, We are armed and we’ll kill you dead if you come out of hiding.”

After a short while, the two Haitian brothers stopped firing. No more arrows came over that night, and snuggling in the middle of tents became very popular. Many slept under their cots. Most did not sleep at all.