Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.
—UNKNOWN
I’M GRATEFUL THAT PINTEREST WASN’T INVENTED BEFORE I started blogging. If it had been, I doubt I would have ever followed through with the idea to start a blog; I would have been too intimidated by all the other much more amazing and experienced bloggers out there and would have felt inadequate.
I still have moments when I feel insecure. Just a few weeks ago, I was being interviewed for a podcast show and the host asked me, “So, Crystal, did you ever have moments in the beginning when you wanted to quit?” I chuckled and then responded something like, “Um, I still have plenty of moments like that!”
In fact, this very week, I told my husband, “I feel like quitting.” Yes, I really said those exact words.
I don’t share this with you to scare you, but to let you know that feeling overwhelmed, wanting to throw in the towel, and getting frustrated when it seems hard work isn’t paying off are all parts of the process. And they don’t necessarily all go away once you reach a certain level of success.
You bought this book because you want to make a difference in your finances. Maybe you want to get out of debt. Maybe you want to pay off your college loans. Maybe you’re saving for a vacation. Maybe you need the money just to survive, to pay the basics like food and rent.
By now, you’ve read enough stories of women who were able to successfully reach their goals that you’re inspired and motivated to pursue possibilities.
But even if you’re optimistic of one day reaching your definition of financial freedom, there may be a part of you that is hesitant.
Unsure.
Afraid.
Insecure.
You may carry some doubts that you have what it takes. These fears may hold you back from plunging into or continuing to execute your goals and follow through with the action steps you’ve outlined.
I’m going to talk about some of those saboteurs in this chapter. If you feel as though you don’t have enough time to make the money you need, or if you wonder how you can pull off a commitment to a job or business while balancing your needs and those of your family, this chapter is for you. We’ll also cover those feelings of insecurity that might be creeping up and those voices in your head that are telling you your plan is going to fail and you should just give up now.
Manage Your Time, Your Life, and Your Work
Jennifer works three days a week outside of her home. On her days “off,” she is busy building three other part-time businesses. This is not easy to do. The hours are demanding and limit the time she can spend with her family. Jennifer feels more and more burned out each passing day. While earning extra income is important, she is slowly starting to realize that it’s not more important than being a healthy (and sane) mom and wife. If she doesn’t commit to balancing her dreams with her home life, something is bound to break—like her sanity. And when that happens, no one is happy.
Whether you plan on earning extra money through nannying, opening a local consignment shop, bookkeeping for companies, or selling handmade blankets on eBay, you need to figure out how much time you can realistically devote to your entrepreneurial endeavors. This, of course, is going to vary depending on your situation.
If you are a single mom and sole provider, you may have no choice but to make this a full-time gig. If you have older kids in school most of the day, you may have more than a few hours here and there. If your little ones aren’t in school and are home with you, you may be more limited in your time. Work with what you have. Find time when you can. I’ll give you some pointers on time management in a bit, but I want to first address the importance of a healthy work-life-home balance.
When I first started experimenting with blogging, I was also forging relationships with other online businesses, one of which happened to be with a family who published a nationwide homeschooling magazine. They mentioned they were looking for someone to join their team on a part-time basis helping with marketing responsibilities. I inquired further and discovered the opening entailed researching and contacting companies to build cross-promotion opportunities. I was pretty sure this was something I could handle, and it only required about two hours a day, so I applied and was accepted for the position.
The work was tedious, and often resulted in dead ends, but in the process I learned so much about creating pitches and marketing a product. Best of all, I was getting paid for my time!
After a few months of working in this part-time capacity, this company offered me a more permanent position heading up some of their promotions and helping to brainstorm creative marketing ideas. I was honored and excited about the opportunity, but I didn’t stop to think how it would affect my already-full schedule.
At the time, my husband was in law school and working part-time. Also, because we were a one-car family and living in a town where we knew very few people, most days, I was home all day long with our baby girl, Kathrynne. Our family needed the money, and the job helped pass the time at home. Plus, I loved the challenge of it!
I worked hard and gave it my all. The company rewarded me by promoting me to the position of marketing manager and offered a side position of managing an ad sales team. I accepted both opportunities without a lot of thought. I loved what I was doing, the money was a huge blessing, and it gave me something to pour my time and energy into while Jesse was in law school and working. Looking back, I should have thought long and hard before adding more to my plate—especially since I was already stretched too thin running my own growing online business while caring for a baby.
I threw myself wholeheartedly into these new positions. I committed to reading informative books on marketing. I observed other companies and analyzed what worked for them. In addition, I started experimenting with different approaches to find what would be highly successful for this company.
It was rewarding to see my hard work pay off. Magazine sales increased, my team generated a number of ad sales, and I helped to spearhead multiple marketing initiatives. I loved just about every minute of my job. There was only one problem: with my enormous responsibilities for the magazine and my own blog and online business, I found myself working all the time.
Exhaustion quickly set in. I worked well into most nights, praying my daughter would sleep through and save me from being interrupted. I even had to pull occasional all-nighters. The excessive hours I spent working definitely took a toll on me. I look back at photos of me during that time, and I can’t believe how sleep-deprived and stressed out I looked. I was so tired it was hard to even fake a smile.
The good news was that between the various work I was doing from home and my husband’s part-time income, I was able to stay home with our daughter. Not only were we able to stay out of debt, but for the very first time since being married, our family finally had a little breathing room in our budget. These were good things! Still, there was no way I could continue the unrealistic pace without breaking.
When my husband finished his last week of law school, we felt it was time for me to quit working for the magazine and focus on our home, our family, and my business. I learned so much from this time and am grateful for the experience. While a definite bonus was getting what felt like a college degree in marketing, I also learned my limits. I discovered working sixty to seventy hours a week was not something that belonged in my bucket list, no matter how good the pay!
Now, I still have a number of days when my work-life-family balance is somewhat out of whack. I sometimes spend too much time working and not enough time just enjoying life. I don’t always give my family the full attention they deserve because I’m finishing up a project that ended up taking a few hours longer than I expected. My laundry pile is usually larger than I’d like. But while I have my moments and days, I’m encouraged to see how far I’ve come. Today more than ever, I feel so much healthier. I’m able to devote more time to my kids. And I’m more invested in my marriage and outside friendships than I ever have been before.
A business can take over your life if you don’t set boundaries. You need to consider how much time you have to invest in your business or idea. Two to three hours a day? Ten, twenty, or forty hours a week? How much time can you commit to working without getting the life sucked out of your energy, your relationships, and your general well-being?
I talked about Beth in the last chapter. One struggle for her as a single mom who homeschools her children is finding dedicated work time. She says,
My kids are always home with me, so I am constantly interrupted while I’m working. Maybe it is harder as a single mom because there’s no one else to listen to the kids or spend time with them. I feel guilty when I have to tell my daughter to leave me alone so I can work. She doesn’t always understand, because I’m sitting right there in the living room so I should be available to talk or look at her latest doodle. There are times when I have to spend more hours on my business than usual (like the holiday selling season). My income is what supports our family so I have no choice but to work. I am so blessed to be able to do it from home and still homeschool my kids, but in some ways that can be harder because there’s no separation between work and family/home life.
Finding a balance between work and life, especially when you’re running a business from home, is a challenge, one that often needs to be re-evaluated, tweaked, and given a fresh perspective. Work with whatever works at the time and recognize that change is constant. Above all else, hold dear to your heart what matters most.
While I love my community on Facebook, have met incredible people on Twitter, and love connecting with people on Instagram, I am not a rule follower. I don’t want to be chained to a blogging and social media schedule, even though that’s what many “experts” say is what will continue to bring in business. If I spend most of my time trying to crank out posts and feed the social media beast, I have no life. Just a blog that rules my life. I want my blog to be a blessing to my family, not a burden, an outpouring of my life, not my whole life.
As much as you can, seek to find a healthy balance between investing in the work necessary to inch your way to financial freedom and maintaining a healthy personal life. Be wise. Know how much time you can spend, set boundaries for that time, and do your best to prioritize and manage that time well.
Time Management Tips
In my book Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, I talked in great detail about time management. While I won’t repeat the information, I’ll offer you some valuable tips on how to let time serve you, not the other way around.
When you start a home business, open a local store, or create a product line to sell online, a common challenge is finding a healthy balance between working and taking care of your family and daily responsibilities. I’m going to assume, like me, you want to avoid burnout from working the dreaded sixty- to seventy-hour week. The following principles will help guide your approach to making the most of your time.
Set parameters for your time. Based on the number of hours you commit to working each day, break them down into chunks. For example, a few months ago, my daily computer time was broken down into the following specific blocks:
• forty-five minutes on substantive writing
• one and a half hours posting time-sensitive deals
• thirty minutes on e-mail
• fifteen minutes on Facebook and Twitter
• fifteen minutes on a writing project
• forty-five minutes extra—placing online orders, reading blog posts, extra projects
Since seasons change, business needs shift, and the market is always evolving, I do my best to be flexible. This means that I can’t have a daily schedule like the above set in stone. It’s just a loose guide for a season. As change presents itself, I adapt my schedule and time parameters with it.
For instance, I’m currently putting a lot of effort into growing my Facebook interaction and traffic from links posted on Facebook. Because of this, I am spending more time on Facebook-related activities (finding posts to share, scheduling posts for the time when I’m offline, responding to comments on Facebook, and so on) and less time on deal-posting (I’ve trained one of my team members to help draft some of the deals for me each day to free up time for me to focus on other things). Having a plan, but being flexible and adaptable with that plan, will help you to be much more successful as a business owner.
Also, if you work from home, keep set hours. When you’re scheduled to work, work. Don’t answer the doorbell unless it’s an emergency. Direct all non-business-related calls to voice mail. And don’t mindlessly browse the web, decide your baseboards need a deep cleaning, or read and respond to every single e-mail that comes in (especially if it’s not urgent or important). Focus on your most important work priorities during your work hours.
Get a grip on social media. Twitter, Facebook, and Skype have made it possible for us to have discussions and online interactions with dozens and even hundreds and thousands of people every day. If used wisely, social media can be a tool to grow your blog or business and reach a wider audience. On the flip side, social media can suck up a great deal of time if not kept in check.
I’ve definitely struggled with this. As a work-at-home, homeschooling mom of young children, I found that the lure of social media was great. And I wasn’t disciplined enough to shut it off. I constantly felt the need to check in on Skype to see what discussions were going on, or to check Twitter to see what I was missing out on, or scroll through endless Facebook feeds to see what other bloggers and friends were up to.
Use social media to help catapult your business and invest in free advertising opportunities, but don’t let it rule your life.
Say no often. As women, we’re often afraid to say no. We fear we might miss out on some grand opportunity, and we worry about what other people might think of us. I know, because I’m in that position a lot.
I encourage you (and myself!) to guiltlessly say no. If an opportunity is going to require time you don’t have or going to oblige you in a way you don’t feel comfortable with or is not a good fit for you, your family, your business, or your blog, say no. And focus on the best things that deserve your yes.
The Fear of Failure
I love what John Wooden, renowned and beloved basketball player and coach, said, “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”1 I found that what keeps many of us from trying something new or different, even if it has the potential to change our lives, is the fear of failure.
We start out hopeful, enthusiastic. But as time passes, the rushing waters of excitement trickle into faint drops of fear or disappointment. Perhaps you weren’t able to land that big client. Perhaps the launch of your website or blog wasn’t as groundbreaking as you expected. Perhaps you found a flaw in the product you spent years creating and tweaking. Perhaps you find yourself working harder than ever without a profit that makes it worth it.
We fail. Sometimes in small portions, sometimes so paramount we are tempted to close the doors on our business or idea for good. While failure to some degree is inevitable, the important question becomes, “Then what?”
Shelli admitted that when she got married, she and her husband weren’t wise financial stewards. Neither one of them learned how to manage money well, so it wasn’t long before they found themselves buried under a mountain of debt. When they had their first child, gaining control of their finances became a priority. While Shelli desired to be a stay-at-home mom, she also wanted to contribute to remedying their debts. Having written for her high school and college newspapers and local magazines, she figured she could write and earn some extra money in her spare time. Eleven years have passed since that time, and Shelli hasn’t made much money writing.
She writes,
It seems so hard to find legitimate writing opportunities. There are a lot of websites that offer jobs, but many seemed to send me on a wild goose chase or pay only a few dollars for hours of work. I’ve written dozens of articles and pitches that I haven’t gotten paid for. I have a blog that I have not made a dime off of. I am overwhelmed with information about writing. I’ve read books about writing and blogging, but feel like it is hard to put so much time and effort into a process that may not make any money. It also seems like there are so many great writers out there that the market is flooded.
Shelli is so exasperated that she wonders if she should give up her dream or keep trying. I know Shelli is not alone. There might come a day when the effort you expend to bring extra money to your household does not pay off. So . . . what do you do?
Before you decide to quit your business, below are some ideas to think about:
• Take a sabbatical. Sometimes we think we need to quit when really we’re just tired. When bloggers come to me to tell me they are shutting down their site, I encourage them to instead take a two-to four-week break. Time away from your business will usually give you clarity that you can’t have when you’re so busy just trying to make it through each day.
• Revisit and evaluate your business action plan and processes. Tweak, revise, and rethink some of your steps. Maybe bad processes or poor planning is what is bogging you down.
• Determine if there is one particular problem that’s shadowing your success. Could it be lack of time? High expenses? Poor customer base? Get advice from experts, read books on the topic, and research solutions.
• Talk to close friends and colleagues you trust and respect. Get their counsel. They may have the right perspective you need.
If you do all of these things and you still feel like quitting is the right thing, then quit. Remember, not every business is going to hit a home run. As was the case with my wedding business, some ideas are just gigantic learning opportunities or stepping-stones for better things to come. If you do shut down your business, don’t let that experience define you as a failure. Instead, use it to shape and help you continue to grow.
Sometimes failure can be a conduit for finding what works. When Jamie and her husband had been married for a year, they determined to get their finances on track. After brainstorming ideas to bring home extra income, she remembered a family member who had a portrait photography business that raked in thousands of dollars per session. Since her husband loved photography, landscape in particular, she pushed him to consider portrait photography. Though reluctant at first, he agreed.
It was a disaster. While he was a talented photographer, the economy wasn’t that great and the market couldn’t support the prices he needed to charge in order to turn a profit. Also, editing the photographs turned out to be more of a hassle than they considered. They would spend forty to eighty hours a week retouching pictures only to have the client purchase nothing.
While the business tanked, here’s the good news: Jamie’s husband realized his true love and his passion—nature photography—and began to pursue that instead. He got his passion for his hobby back. And Jamie, ever the entrepreneur, took the steps to begin the writing and speaking business that she had dreamed of for years. Now in its fourth year, Jamie’s business is thriving. She and her husband are both living their dreams!
I commend this couple for actually doing something, for stepping out into the unknown in order to begin creating financial breathing room. Sure, the initial idea may not have worked out in their favor, but it paved the way for them to create an idea that finally worked!
Failure can be a conduit for finding your niche. Dekota has found this to be true. She writes,
I tried virtual assisting back when my daughter was teeny tiny and, from my experience at the time, it is a very difficult field to get into. Unless you have a specific skill, offering basic clerical services will hardly land a client! After many tries at jobs like medical transcriptionist, bookkeeping, among MANY other things, I found my calling. I make jewelry now, which I love, and it has brought in enough income so my husband was able to quit his job and become a stay-at-home dad.
Just Plain Ole Fear
Thinking about the possibility of failure is just one of many fears that plague us, that keep us stuck, that keep us from reaching or even trying to reach our goals.
I know the power of being afraid. All my life, I have battled fear. I’ve worried what people would think. I have thought in worst-case scenarios. I’ve feared the unknown, the known, and the might-happen. In the process, I have wasted a lot of time and energy on fear.
In the last few years, I’ve been blessed to meet people who are challenging me to stop living in fear and start living in faith. Fear paralyzes. Faith frees. Punching fear in the face has been a very stretching experience. It’s not been a onetime thing, either (oh, how I wish it were that easy!). I’ve had to get up and go face the fear monsters over and over again.
But each and every time that I step outside my comfort zone and confront my fears, there have been rich rewards. And it has been every bit worth it.
Does jumping out of the safe zone scare you? Well, then take a tiny baby step. And then another tiny baby step. Whatever you do, though, don’t stay put.
One thing that helps me is to ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” If you ask yourself this question, in most cases there are only two “worst-case scenario” outcomes: (1) you fail—which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing, as we talked about earlier; or (2) you decide you don’t like it. In that case, there are a million other possibilities you can try next.
I love this quote from Michael Hyatt: “The really important stuff happens just outside your comfort zone.”2 I’ve found this to be true in my own life. There are so many amazing experiences, relationships, and opportunities I would have missed out on if I had stayed in the safe zone.
Sure, it’s frightening, but if you’re willing to take the risk, I can almost guarantee that you’ll end up finding it really rewarding. Plus, I’ve discovered that when you start pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, your comfort zone moves. Things that were once completely daunting to you can become exhilarating and invigorating. And no matter what happens when you get outside of your comfort zone, it will be more inspiring than staying stuck in a rut.
When Others Stand in Your Way
Whether you are considering working with a direct-marketing company selling cosmetics, starting your own commercial cleaning service, or providing consultant work to local businesses, you might come face-to-face with people, even those closest to you, who shed some doubt your way. They may say things like:
“Why don’t you just get a regular job?”
“I know someone who tried that and it didn’t work.”
“Is that the best idea you could come up with?”
Now, for the purpose of this section, I’m not talking about the people in your life who can offer legitimate advice grounded in wisdom and experience. You should certainly consider and receive knowledge from people who have something valuable to say. However, if your business idea or plan is being picked apart by Negative Nelly and there’s no basis for the negativity, you must stop letting her bring you down. You can’t control what other people say about you, but you can control how you let it affect you.
There will always be people who disagree with you, criticize the choices you’ve made in life, or are just plain negative. That’s a fact of life. The surest way to live a miserable life is to try to please everyone. It’s impossible . . . but you can sure run yourself ragged trying.
Don’t allow the negative opinions of others to scatter fear in your path. Tactfully remove yourself from negative people and situations as much as you can. When it’s not possible to avoid the negativity, picture an invisible shield between you and the negative people and tune out their unfounded attacks.
In addition, do not respond to negativity with more negativity. That only fuels the fire. Either don’t respond at all or respond with genuine love and kindness.
What Do You Have to Offer? (A Lot!)
My husband and I attended a conference last year with some incredibly talented thinkers and doers. The combined experiences and backgrounds of the speakers and attendees provided much collective wisdom. Almost the entire conference, I felt like my mind was going to explode with all of the new information I was gleaning.
But you know one of the things that stuck out for me most about the entire experience? It wasn’t the knowledge, the noteworthy résumés, or the impressive achievements. It was that many of these amazingly talented people struggle with insecurity.
In fact, two of the people I would consider to be some of the most accomplished individuals at the conference both confided in me that they felt out of place.
And I totally got it, because I felt the exact same way. At each meal or roundtable discussion, I would meet people who had done so much with their lives—and I would want to sink smaller and smaller into my chair.
At one point in the Q&A discussion, I’m not sure what possessed me, but I raised my hand to share something. As soon as they gave me the microphone, I literally froze with fear. In that split second, terror registered in my brain: Why on earth did I raise my hand? Do I really think I had anything worthwhile to add to the discussion? Oh how I wished right then and there that the ground would just swallow me whole.
I somehow managed to say something semi-coherent, handed back the mic, sat down, and felt like a colossal failure. More thoughts flooded through my head: Why am I at a conference on launching a speaking business when I can’t even stand up and say four sentences without failing? Why am I saying “yes” to these speaking opportunities when there are millions of people out there who could do the job a thousand times better than I could?
Still, a part of me knew I didn’t have to resort to drowning in insecurities. Oh sure, I had plenty of inadequacies and shortcomings I could mull over, but focusing on them would do me no good. I had to set aside those emotional chains and focus on positive truths, such as I am enough. And I have a purpose.
You know what? You, too, are enough. And you, too, have a purpose.
You may know someone or a handful of people who have started their business and met tremendous success in a short time. Or whose blog took off immediately after the first post. Or whose business idea made them hundreds of thousands of dollars in the first two years.
If that’s not your story, it’s because you have your own. And it’s enough. Your worth is not established in how successful or smart you are or how much debt you’re able to pay off in two months or how quickly you can grow your blog or business. You have a unique perspective, experience, and insight that can bless and impact others in a way that someone else with a different story might not be able to.
Yes, it’s important and I highly encourage you to keep challenging yourself to grow, strengthen your weak zones, and learn and apply as much as you can. But you’re not going to be perfect and have the perfect business idea with the perfect action plan and the perfect way of doing things to bring home the perfect amount of money to make a difference.
The rest of the chapters of this book are devoted to intertwining purpose with making money. Yes, it’s possible. And it’s about perspective. But before you dig in and start reading, take a break. Pause. Breathe. Allow the following words to sink in.
I am enough. I was created for a purpose.
Aside from believing in the possibilities and opportunities that await you and your loved ones in changing your financial direction for the better, I want you to own the gifts you were given and truly believe that you were created for a purpose greater than yourself. My hope is for you to fully experience how great an impact you can make, even while you establish your financial future.