Daisy put a plate of French toast on the table for her grandfather. Her roommate, Penny, made amazing French toast and after so many times of watching her she was able to pick up the gist of it. She went back to the bacon sizzling in the pan on the stove and turned the heat off.
Harold came into the kitchen, his white hair, still wet from the shower, combed and parted to the side. His green flannel shirt was wrinkled, probably because he had no idea how to iron.
“Morning, Grandpa,” Daisy practically sang as she kissed his weathered cheek. She might’ve gone a little overboard with the coffee, but she was not used to being up at the ass crack of dawn like the rest of her family. She preferred to sleep in, but it was the day of her grandmother’s surgery, and she needed to be up for her grandfather. She also needed to keep her spirits up or she wouldn’t be able to get through the day.
“What is this?” he asked, lifting the plate with his finger and letting it clank back onto the table. One of the sliced strawberries slipped off the bread and landed on the table.
“French toast. It’s delicious.”
“I don’t like French food. It’s too fancy,” he grumbled.
“It’s not French food. I don’t think.”
“Your grandmother makes me two eggs, bacon, and baked beans.”
“And I’m sure it’s delicious, but since Grandma isn’t here, I thought I’d make you something different.”
His lips pressed into a flat line, his wrinkles getting more defined as he stared at the plate. “You know… I’ll grab something on the way to the hospital.”
Daisy let out a sigh and pointed at his chair with the spatula. He was so damn stubborn sometimes. “Sit down and I’ll make you eggs.”
“I don’t have time. I need to get to the hospital before—” His words cut off, and Daisy understood completely. Her grandfather was a little rough around the edges, but he was always more teddy bear than grizzly toward her. The stress of her grandmother’s surgery was weighing down on him.
She rested her hand on his shoulder. “She’s going to be okay,” Daisy said, even if she wasn’t so sure she believed the words herself. After her grandmother’s talk about complications, every time Daisy thought about the surgery, she couldn’t help but think of the dreaded D word.
Harold pulled out of her grasp. “Of course she is.” His words said one thing but his tone said something else. Daisy wanted to pull him in for a hug but thought better of it. He didn’t need her sympathy. He needed her strength.
“If you give me a second, I’ll wash my face and come with you.”
“I can’t wait. I shouldn’t even have left the hospital last night, but she threatened to call security on me.”
Daisy laughed. In the face of major surgery, Betty still hadn’t lost her spunk. “She probably wanted you to get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day.”
“I would’ve slept better at the damn hospital.”
He was probably right. The house had been extra quiet and while some people would find that the perfect setting to rest, it made Daisy uneasy. She was sure Harold felt the same way. The sooner he was with Betty the better.
“You should go. I’ll see you up there.”
He grabbed his coat off the chair, and Daisy helped him get into it.
“I’m not an invalid. I can put on my own coat.”
“I know,” she said but continued helping. He grumbled some more as she fixed his collar. She patted his chest when all was fixed. “There, you’re all set.”
His scowl softened. “Thank you, sweetie.”
Daisy smiled. “That’s more like it.” She sent him on his way, and once he pulled out of the driveway, she went back to the kitchen and sat down at his plate. She forked the rogue strawberry and popped it into her mouth. It was going to be a really long day, and she was going to need all the fuel she could get.
Her cell phone beeped… followed quickly by another beep. It slowly began to blow up and she knew it had to be a group text with her siblings. She took a bite of French toast and checked her phone.
Kate: On our way.
Matt: Already here. She’s in good spirits.
Cooper: We’ll be there once we drop Tommy off at school.
Hadley: Sam and I stopped to get coffee for everyone. Be there soon.
Matt: Shay brought cupcakes.
Mason: Just got out of the shower. Be there in a little bit.
Matt: Take all the time you need.
While Mason was usually the first one to arrive, hospitals were different. In her entire life she’d never seen her brother so uneasy except when he was in a hospital waiting room. It was something she completely understood. Not that anyone liked hospitals, but there was something about them that made her an anxious ball of nerves.
He would no doubt be there, but he would delay as much as he could.
Daisy checked the time. It was only eight in the morning. Betty’s surgery wasn’t until noon, unless it was rescheduled and no one told her.
Daisy: I thought the surgery was at noon.
Matt: It is.
Kate: Want to see her before she goes in. You know…just in case.
Leave it to Kate to say exactly what everyone was probably thinking but too afraid to say out loud.
Matt: She’s going to be fine.
Cooper: Of course she will be. We all aren’t married yet.
Mason: Daze, do you need us to swing by and get you?
Daisy thought about it for a second, but she wanted to drive herself in case it became too much and she needed to get away.
Daisy: I have the Jeep. I’ll see you guys there.
She put her phone on the table and finished eating. Like Mason, she wasn’t in a rush.
Kate’s last text kept popping up in her mind. Just in case.
“No!” she shouted as she stood up. “She’s going to be fine,” she said to herself. “Knock it off.”
She cleaned up the mess, pouring the bacon grease into a coffee can her grandmother had on the counter for that reason, and then washed and dried the dishes.
Once everything was scrubbed down twice, she finally showered and dressed. When she was done she checked the time.
It was a quarter after nine; she’d stalled long enough. She wrapped her scarf around her neck, pulled on her coat and headed out.
Her entire family was at the hospital, surrounding Betty’s bed. Her grandfather was in the same chair as the other day, holding his wife’s hand like it was his only lifeline. Daisy closed her eyes, forcing away the awful thoughts that were trying to consume her. What would her grandfather do without his other half?
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes as Kate wrapped her in a sideways hug and rested her head on hers. Hadley joined on the other side and the warm comfort gave her the strength to smile.
“She’ll be okay,” Daisy said so only her sisters could hear.
She wasn’t exactly sure if she believed her own words, but it was all she had right now and she needed to keep the faith. She needed her siblings to be right there with her, staying strong, because if she had to be the strong one then they were all screwed.
“Mom, how are you feeling?” Jonathon asked.
“Like I’m at my funeral. I swear if this is how you all look when that time comes I will make it a personal mission to haunt every one of you.”
“Stop with the death talk, woman,” Harold said. “You ain’t dying on me.”
“Never said I was. You think a little surgery is going to keep me down?” Betty laughed like it was the most absurd thought imaginable. To most they would see her strength and her confidence, but for Daisy and her family who knew Betty better than anyone, there was a crack in her façade.
Daisy could see the slight trepidation in her eyes, the way she kept looking at everyone as if it might be her last and she wanted to take as clear a picture as she could.
“Good morning! Who is ready for surgery?” A nurse came into the room, and Betty smiled.
“Let’s get this over with. I have things to do.”
The nurse laughed and so did everyone else. It was a nice change.
“We’ll be in the waiting room, waiting for you,” Carol said as she gave Betty a kiss on the forehead.
“Knock ‘em dead,” Mason said and everyone groaned at his use of words.
Hadley kissed Betty’s cheek. “We love you, Grandma.”
“And I love all of you,” Betty said.
The rest of them gave Betty a kiss and a hug then congregated in the waiting room. There was a TV in the right corner, chairs lining the walls and a row going down the middle. Daisy took a seat closest to the door, which, after about forty minutes, she realized was probably a mistake.
Every time she heard footsteps her heart practically jumped out of her chest. She could hear doctors and nurses talking in the hallway and the sound of wheels from the stretchers rolling across the tile.
Right before an audition, to calm her nerves, she would hum the theme song to Barney. It was ridiculous and embarrassing and she’d never tell a soul, but somehow the childhood nostalgia would quiet the anxious chaos in her brain.
She took a deep breath and began to hum. The tension in her neck began to ease, and she thought she would be fine when those damn words both her Grandma and Kate had said popped back into her mind.
Just in case.
She tried to hum louder, but she couldn’t. Her throat constricted, making it impossible to get air in her lungs. Heat exploded in her chest, spreading up her neck and into her ears.
How could she sit here and act like everything was peachy keen when she felt like she was going to throw up? She couldn’t let her family see her like this. Everyone needed only positive vibes right now. She could not continue to sit here, spreading negative energy.
If she said the wrong thing or made her family have doubts for any reason that was just too much pressure.
The tiny thread of sanity that she’d been clinging to snapped, and the emotions she’d been battling since that dreaded phone call that brought her home, tried to force their way out. Her heart thrashed against her ribcage, and her breaths came out fast and jagged.
You got this, Daisy. You can do this. For your family, for Grandma.
She forced in another deep breath, her eyes landing on Mason’s fingers that were tapping against his thigh at rapid speed. Cassie reached over, resting her hand on his. They linked fingers, and he finally leaned back in his chair.
Kate cuddled up to Caleb while Cooper and Sarah looked at something on Cooper’s phone. Matt’s hand sat on Shay’s knee, his thumb stroking gently. Sam kissed the top of Hadley’s head and pulled her close while her parents convinced her grandfather to go with them to get some coffee.
Everybody had somebody to lean on, and Daisy—like always—was the odd man out. She wanted to stay strong for her family, but they didn’t need her.
She slipped out of the waiting room undetected and headed for the exit. The cold, fresh air hit her as she walked out the door.
“I can’t do this,” she said to no one as she made a beeline for the Jeep. She jumped into the truck, pulled out of the space, and drove as far away from the hospital as she could.
***
Nick heard the brewery door open and, without taking his eyes off the paperwork he was working on, said, “We’re closed today.”
He looked up as Daisy walked past, ignoring him and going straight to the bar.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nick asked, getting up as she placed her bag in a cubby.
“What does it look like? I’m here to work.”
“We’re closed today.” Mason purposely closed so everyone could be at the hospital. Nick only came in to do a few things for Mason before he had to head out for a couple meetings.
She ignored him, picking up a rag and wiping down the already clean bar. “I thought I could restack the glasses or print out more copies for the flights.”
He rested his hands on hers stopping her incessant wiping. “No. You should be at the hospital.”
She yanked her hand away from him. Her gaze lifted to his, sheer determination shining bright in her blue eyes, but he could see beyond the façade and down to the fear that hid beneath.
“Somebody will call me if something happens,” she said, snapping her attention away from him and back to the bar.
This time he grabbed the rag out of her hand and tossed it behind them. “Why don’t you cut the crap and tell me what really has you here?”
Her lip curled, eyes turned black as night. “You’re impossible, you know that? It amazes me I was able to put up with you as long as I did.”
“Yeah, well, someone had to put up with your shit,” he spat.
A sense of hurt flashed across her stubborn features. “No one asked you to.”
He ran his hand through his hair and stepped back. Fighting with her was not the answer especially not today. No matter how much pent up animosity still festered inside him, he reeled it in. “You should be with your family,” he finally said.
She let out a perturbed breath. “And you should mind your own damn business.”
“Daisy,” he said. He knew something was wrong, could see it in the way her anger kept morphing to pain before she caught the slip and slipped back behind her façade. A part of him, the guy who once cared for her more than anyone in the world, wanted to pull her in for a hug, but the other part, the guy who she abandoned, wanted to say screw it. She wasn’t his problem anymore. Unfortunately, no matter how much anger he still harbored for her, he couldn’t walk away. Not when she looked so sad and broken. “What’s wrong?”
“Why would you think something’s wrong? Just because you want to think something is wrong doesn’t mean something is. I’m just here to help out. You’re welcome by the way.”
“Don’t do that,” he said.
“Do what?”
“Act like you’re here for me, because we both know that’s bullshit.”
“Fine, then it’s bullshit. I don’t care what you think. I came here to work, and I’m going to work. So you can stand there glaring at me all you want, but it’s not going to change a single thing because…”
He pressed a finger under her chin and her eyes widened. “If nothing’s wrong why are you babbling?”
The girl could deny it until she was blue in the face but as much as she wanted to be someone else, she wasn’t. She was, and always would be, Daisy.
She twirled a blonde curl around her finger—another sure sign that she was keeping something to herself.
“Come on, Daze. Talk to me.”
She blinked up, her big eyes meeting his. They were a blue sea of sorrow and pain he wanted to take away, but he couldn’t unless she talked to him.
“Daze?”
“I’m scared, okay? I’m terrified she’s not going to make it through the surgery, and I don’t want to be there as my entire family falls apart if she doesn’t. I can’t do it. I’m not like the rest of them. I can’t sit there and wait, knowing that my grandma’s life is in the hands of some guy I don’t know. That one mistake can take her away from me forever.”
The tears he sensed she’d been fighting pushed to the surface. They fell from her lashes, dripping down her porcelain cheeks.
“I’m scared,” she managed before choking on a sob.
The sound cracked the cement around his heart, and he reached for her, hauling her against him and wrapping her in his arms. Her stiff body melted against him and she rested her head on his chest. Tears poured down her cheeks and soaked his button up but he didn’t care.
He held her tightly, his hand rubbing soothing strokes against her back. “It’s okay,” he said against her curls. He kissed the top of her head, and the gesture seemed to help.
She sniffed a few times then took a deep breath before pulling back.
Her tear stained cheeks were almost too much for him to handle. He knew he should stay out of this, send her back to the hospital and let her family worry about her but he couldn’t.
“I have a few meetings set up for today,” he said. “Why don’t you come with me? Take your mind off of things. I’ll go to the hospital with you after when she’s in recovery.”
Daisy’s nose twitched and her lip quivered. “Are you sure?”
“A little company never hurt anyone. Besides, since you’re a temporary employee here, you might learn something.”
She nodded, swiping the back of her hand under her eyes. “Okay then. I’d like that.”
“There’s just one rule,” he said, holding up his finger.
“I didn’t know there were rules.” He handed her a tissue and she accepted. “I wouldn’t have agreed so easily.”
He smiled. “Too late.”
“What is it? No singing in the car? No changing the radio station on you?”
He actually missed her car ride karaoke sessions and stopped listening to music on drives for a long time after she had left. With all that talent, it was no doubt she’d wanted to find an outlet for it where others could appreciate it as much as he had. He was a fool to think that all those times she talked about moving to New York that it was just a pipedream, something she fantasized about but never actually acted on. He should’ve known better, and while he still was angry at her for leaving the way she did, he couldn’t blame her. If he’d opened his eyes enough to see beyond his own dreams, he might’ve seen hers for what they truly were. Maybe she wasn’t the only one to blame for the past. Maybe some of that blame lied with him too.
He looked at her for a moment, lost in the past, wondering what he could’ve said and done differently. There was no use rehashing what he couldn’t change though.
He held up his finger again. “One rule. No bad mouthing me in front of customers.”
Her eyebrows curved down toward the bridge of her nose, and her eyes softened. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Good. And for the record, if you want to sing in the car, be my guest,” he said, hoping that she would. “It’d be a nice change from Tyler, who I swear is tone deaf.”
“Tyler. Haven’t heard that name in a long time. How’s he doing?”
“Exactly as you imagine, I’m sure.”
She cracked a smile, and he felt a small victory, even if it was at his best friend’s expense.
“Still scheming.”
“You know it.”
She shrugged and caught his eyes. “I guess some things don’t change.”