How many times have you set a goal, set a date for that goal, set aside time to achieve that goal and set aside time for that “last bit of fun” (in this case, gorging) before actually beginning that goal? We’ve all been there and decided after this one last binge, it’s seriously going to be on like never before. But there’s just one problem: “I’m going to” just doesn’t work out, over the long term. You need to develop a mental edge that keeps your motivation sharp and the goal in sight.
Many of us set unrealistic expectations when it comes to working out. We begin with excessive amounts of training and minimal amounts of nutrition and expect this “cramming” approach to yield magnificence. The reality is, in the end, it just isn’t going to work.
Reaching a new level within yourself starts with clearly defining what the next step is, and the impetus to take that step is often derived from two simple, yet complex, mental acuities. What can you do to stay the course, and how can you avoid self-derailment? What is most important is that you work to become the kind of person who doesn’t just say they will do a thing, but one who simply does it.
Sometimes, as powerful as these means are—establishing an event to plan for, keeping clean fuel in the kitchen and maintaining progress pics to show positive transformation—they simply aren’t enough. Sometimes, we need a little more to stay the course while also keeping sane about it. Sometimes, when you embark on a journey or take up arms in a private war that has you so in the zone, you lose sight of the big picture and why you are involved in the effort in the first place. And often more so the nearer you get to achieving that accomplishment.
In building and showcasing my own complete physique, I found that sometimes following the aforementioned tips or principles was simply not enough. Regularly posting my progress pics and positive catchphrases on social media was rewarding. Indeed, connecting with people is often a cure far more powerful than any other prescription. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, motivated companions will do wonders, ultimately lifting you from one plateau to another. We are all human and fallible and, as such, sometimes are enticed into give in to temptation. There were a few times while preparing myself for the photos within these pages that I wanted to give in. Yet the need to simply not give in was stronger than any temptation. And that need to stay the course was fortified when readers, fans and supporters let me know how inspirational I was to them during their own journeys. This in turn inspired me to keep on keeping on, when perhaps I would not have otherwise.
We can learn to redirect our minds, and this starts with passion. If we undertake something but lack passion, the results will be less than stellar. But if there is a clear need and strong desire to take action, then the results will never be in question—only the degree to which we achieve them. In other words, with this mind-set you will achieve a black belt master level in your chosen endeavor, the only question being to what degree.
When things seem to push a little too firmly against you on your journey, an unsupportive face attempts to steal your shine in a work or gym environment or even when the image in the mirror doesn’t seem to smile back at you, that is the time for self-fortification. That is the time to truly have your own back and be good to yourself, because this is your journey, you’re the one telling your story. Set your own standard and become who you want to become.
What follows is my top 10 list of mental action items to keep you in check with yourself, motivated and progressing. Forget about what physically you feel you may not currently have—master these actions, and you will be prepared to make the changes you need.
1 If your interest or enthusiasm is waning, find the thread, or what you initially fell in love with, to get yourself back into the game. For Complete Physique, aside from sharing knowledge and helping you complete your journey, it was a personal goal to get into even better shape than I had for previous books. That was my catalyst to take action. I pulled out the calendar and circled the targeted photography date. I kept that date in mind, and it helped me get past days when I felt I wanted to give up.
2 Forget instant gratification and immediate pleasure. As experience shows us in before pictures, immediate results are not in the cards. In fact, the only immediacy about the Complete Physique plan is the immediate need to get started. Look not for instant gratification; focus on making each day your best through the powerful combination of effective training, proper fueling and adequate recuperation. Change might be slow to come, but it is most definitely progressive, and you can rest assured that if you’re willing to invest in you, the results will yield large dividends.
3 If you’re burning on fire (driven, passionate), offer to help light others, but never let them extinguish you. Not everyone is going to be supportive or happy for you, in anything you do. You be happy for you and also offer to lend a helping hand, without that needful hand ever bringing you down. It was quite something to see familiar faces in the gym—people who initially doubted me (I hadn’t been in shape in years)—change their tune to, “Of course you’re doing Complete Physique … you look incredible!” And as you achieve, your story further writes itself, draws people in and, in turn, gets others on your side and inspires them, too. The message is twofold: You can do anything if given the chance, and never let anyone limit what you will become.
4 Always keep your word, never let others limit what you may become, write your own destiny, and finish what you start. These are all big for me, a powerful four-pillar standing belief system in my mental arsenal. When you are gone, it won’t be the ripped abs, hourglass figure or big arms that you’ll be remembered for, but rather your word. If you say it, do it, and hold yourself accountable. Allow only yourself to define just how far you will go. You and you alone are running the show. All the way or none of the way. Start something, finish it. In keeping myself fortified and strong, I tend to keep my plans to myself, but share my actions with the world. Work in silence, achieve in the light. Only tell those you can trust your plans for you must self-fortify. Only when I’ve kept my mouth quiet and my actions loud, have things ever “happened” for me. Stay humble in character, but ferocious in seizing your dreams.
5 Consistency brings about results. Progress is not contingent upon marathon training sessions or a bland diet of egg whites and oatmeal. Extremes are not the heart of your transformation, but rather consistency in your entire approach. We’re here for the long haul, baby.
6 Your body is ultimately what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Are you a doer or a sayer? You can plan and read and study, but until you take action by really getting in the trenches, you’re not transforming. Thinking up the solution may solve the equation on paper, but it does little to physically change it.
7 Chase your own shadow, not someone else’s. We never have control over others, and we mustn’t allow them to have power over us. This comes down to the human tendency to compare ourselves to other people. There’s nothing wrong with comparing yourself to others if it motivates you or even spurs self-reflection. But putting yourself down or feeling inferior to someone else is a different matter entirely. When I was competing in bodybuilding, I never gave a care or worry to who my competition was for two reasons: I had no control over them and how they looked, and my competition was then, and remains now, only myself.
8 Here I quote professional wrestling legend and icon The Ultimate Warrior: “Ultimate Warrior embodies a kind of place you need to go if you want to get something done.” That sums up how I felt for a long time. Something as life changing as a physique transformation is a daunting undertaking, and it takes a strong mind that is not easy to reverse to make it. For you to change, you must first deem yourself worthy and place yourself at the top of your list. To do that, you must believe as much in the mission as you do in yourself. You can fake intensity (for the short-term), but not passion—and passion is what gets you to your goals. My definition of “driven” is when you do the daily steps needed to achieve, even if no one else is watching.
9 Choose to live your life with a sense of urgency. Those armed with a reason are forced to take action and, ultimately, accomplish their goals. In movies, the protagonist draws us in, making us care by having a sense of urgency, by having a catalyst or cause that demands immediate action. You will reclaim your body and get into stellar shape by having the sense of urgency.
10 Perfection is not important because it is unachievable. Trying to live up to this perfect distorted image in your head of how you should look and lead your daily life is simply not attainable. Dramatic body change is not about any one thing done miraculously well, but rather daily actions consistently done well. No one lives a pure and perfect life. We all take a stumble sometimes. We all need a reset button from time to time. All of us. Yesterday is done and in the past. Focus on today. A change in one’s body starts with an extreme determination, not extreme actions. And that change may indeed be imperfect because you are going to do it better and get better the further in you get. Forget the motto “Failure is not an option,” and remember “To not even try is not an option.”
You must hold onto the pulse of self-belief, and never allow others to take it from you or, even worse, give it away. Avoid self-defeating behaviors.
As you near your goals, often a voice in your head will complacently reassure you that “You’ve worked hard, you’re there. Now’s the time to coast.” You can be assured that this voice is false and must be ignored. Coasting, and not complacency, comes after you reach your goals; you can’t floor the pedal all the time.
Self-derailment comes at a variety of times and for a multitude of reasons. During my journey to get in shape for this book, I was generally motivated and staying on track Monday through Saturday. It was on the seventh day, the day of rest, that my mind would fill with unwelcome thoughts. Rather than fight them, or give in, I listened to what I was hearing, identifying the message behind them. By truly delving into what this self-defeating waste of energy was about, I narrowed down the main causes to a few key triggers: boredom, anxiety, loneliness, lack of variety and a deflated sense of ego. And I am speaking now not as a trainer, therapist or medical practitioner, but as your coach, the person to help you learn how to abandon self-defeat.
Let’s take a closer look.
Problem: boredom: You may be happy to see all those offs in the Sunday row in the Program Breakdown, but with all of those days completely open with so much free time and nothing specific to focus on, you may find that your mind sometimes likes to create some sort of drama. Sometimes we either consciously or unconsciously create it to temporarily excite things and stir the pot.
For me, Sundays often filled me with the angst of choosing between scarfing down a certain pastrami sandwich or showcasing ripped abs. And this drama would begin with my imagining the “what ifs.” What if I indulge in this meal right now in this state of instant gratification? That would be so pleasurable and amazing in the moment. And truth be told, an indulgence here and there is warranted, provided it neither negates your progress nor becomes a habit.
Solution: Find something else to be excited about, something that truly engages your mind. For me, Sundays became the day I flipped through fitness magazines, looking for inspiration for my photo shoot and getting excited about all the possibilities for it. These hopeful thoughts let me forget about my possible derailment in the form of a mega cheat meal. What gets you excited?
Problem: anxiety: Generally speaking, that which we most fear happening, rarely happens—or at least it’s seldom as bad as we fear. When pursuing a better body, maybe you dread being judged at the gym. My experience shows that others are simply too caught up in their own issues to give your worries a care. An example of this for me was at one of my book release/author signings. I was so nervous about how it would play out that I had trouble sleeping, obsessing about my performance at the event. Then a friend pointed out that as a fitness writer it wasn’t my job to entertain or tell jokes but simply to provide good, solid fitness information to the attendees and supporters. And that was what I focused on, and I realized that every face in that room that day was a friendly one.
Solution: Face your anxieties and fears like you face everything else. What unresolved fear is holding you back?
Problem: deflated sense of ego: The truth is, our physical shape does indeed play a part in our mental self. How we view ourselves does stem, at least partially, from what the mirror and the scale reveals. You can’t possibly feel good on the outside if you’re feeling less than whole on the inside. I impress upon you again that your Complete Physique transformation is you vs. you. Often real change manifests from what is commonly known as the “black moment” in one’s life. Commonly found in movies, this is when we find the protagonist to be at his or her lowest point. The good news is that the only direction from this point on is up.
Solution: Sometimes you need to reach that lowest point, or black moment, to truly rise. I implore you to hold on to this, to remember what brought you to this point in the first place. A big part of the fun truly is the journey. It’s not only or entirely about the punch line (your after pictures). It’s the gradual reveal of the joke (the process) that will serve you time and time again. You are more than worthy of becoming the changed you that you envision. What black moment caused you to take action?
Problem: loneliness: Loneliness can often get one into trouble. I have always savored the incredible feeling of achievement that comes from getting goals accomplished on my own merits. Not having to depend on or rely on others has, for me, always paid great dividends. But the truth is, no one does it truly alone. Take this book, for example. I planned, wrote and modeled for it, but without the efforts of my talented editor and photographer, it would never have been completed.
Solution: Find and lock onto a pair of eyes that are taking the same journey—find training partners who will be nothing but supportive and understanding and who fight for the common cause. Who’s got your back?
Problem: lack of variety: We need a plan we can live with. And a key to this is variety. Variety in the gym clothes we wear, the exercises we perform and, yes, the food that goes on our plate and in our stomachs. We lose our enthusiasm, otherwise.
Solution: Try out and pair new foods for a change that you can literally taste. Or perhaps ask a friend (with a strong fashion sense) just what works best for you. Find alternate exercises that target the muscles you need to work that day. What is one variable you can change that will renew your enthusiasm?
The Complete Physique plan is a time-specific program, yet designed so that you can easily live with it—and make it a way of life. It builds in intensity and complexity every 4 weeks for a total of 12. Doesn’t sound like much, but three months is a vast amount of time in which to make an amazing transformation. Three months is also enough time to realize that you are running a well-metered marathon, not an all-out sprint. You are creating a sustainable lifestyle, not cramming a lifespan into 12 short weeks.
So, back off the pedal, but take your program seriously to make the most of it. Commit to 12 weeks and then ease off the intensity. Can you commit to prioritizing yourself for 12 weeks?