When I walk into the galley the next morning, I’m met with the tantalizing scent of cinnamon and vanilla. Then I see Renner surrounded by all of my friends. Of course he’s the life of the party.
He’s freshly showered and wearing a worker’s navy-blue onesuit like everyone else at his table. The suit hugs his narrow torso and makes his tanned skin stand out, white teeth flashing as he laughs. It’s clear he hasn’t been in space long enough to lose some of his natural coloring like the rest of us.
Pon, one of the show clowns, sits on his left, openly drinking him in with a huge smile that crinkles her pixie nose. Nia, usually more interested in practicing her Gavron Harp, sits on Renner’s right and seems to be enjoying whatever story he’s telling, twisting a finger in her dark hair. Elcan, the other half of their musical duo, doesn’t appear to care, instead talking with Lena across the table.
Leith, Lena’s twin brother and fellow silk dancer, is eating up Renner’s words. In his typical over exuberance, he elbows Mika just as he’s taking a bite. The clown-slash-tech guy scowls and turns to Seah. The clowns tend to stick together, their real-life personas very different than their on-stage personalities. And then there’s Roper at the end of the table. He’s pretending to be uninterested, but he pays Renner inconspicuous attention, nonetheless.
Renner is like meat tossed to a dreyhass horde. And he loves it. His dimples are shining for the Verse to see.
I head toward the buffet line just as he looks up. Our eyes lock, and the dimples deepen. I remember the feeling of strength in his muscled arm. The heat of his body as I leaned against him in the confines of his cabin. The way he almost kissed me.
I turn and join the line.
He was playing a part, as was I. Even Delmar joined the ruse, but that was to hide the truth from Renner. I just needed to convince our ringmaster to let Renner stay and that my idea was best.
Bringing Renner on board as my intended has likely circulated through the wide path of gossip only a circus family can share. He will be accepted based on that alone, and therefore easier to hide from the outside world.
Clearly, it’s already working.
I push my thoughts of Renner away. The boy is distracting in the worst way. And so flippant about it all. If he could just—
“Morning.”
I smell dusk mint and musk. The fragrance reminds me of evenings on Cerlia, walking in the twilight as the night fog swirled around my feet. It was during those evenings that mother would tell us the myths of her people while star bugs lit the ever-growing darkness. We were in our own universe trailing through the black on a ship built of imagination conjured by her words.
“Good morning.” I keep my head down and shove the thoughts away. They threaten to take me to a dark place that will haunt the rest of my day.
“Did you know they have muffins?”
“What?” My neck cranes starward, reminding me just how tall Renner is.
“Muffins. There are three different types. I’m telling you—if everyone knew what kind of food the circus serves, they’d jump at the chance to join.”
I duck my head, smiling. This boy keeps surprising me. “I gather you like muffins?”
“They are the galaxy’s most perfect food.” He says it so seriously.
“I hope you had your fill, then.”
“I had six.”
I gasp. “What?”
He has the decency to look embarrassed, but the line moves, and I follow. He turns back to his table, and a small part of me wishes he would have stayed. I debate joining him when I have my breakfast, but indecision freezes me. I’m the Soaring Starress, the main attraction of the circus, and he’s a hired hand working the stables. Even if the news of our intent has spread, what’s the expectation? I’m woefully ignorant in the ways of a relationship and find my face flooding with heat and wishing the duraplast would swallow me whole.
Plate full, I search for Freyda, but her place is empty. Instead, I sit alone at a small table by the floor to ceiling viewport and turn my face to the black to wait for my cheeks to cool. I take a deep breath and let the view calm me.
I have lived on this ship for five cycles and never once gotten bored of the stars. Millions of them, always there to light our way. If I lean back, I can catch a glimpse of the Quaris 6 galaxy cluster.
“So.” The chair across from me rattles away from the table, and Renner sits. “I’m helping with the show tonight.”
“Oh?” I try to ignore the way my heart pounds in response to his nearness.
“Pon says everyone helps. I think Nia is getting me the uniform. I’m in sector A2. Is that good?”
“You’ll have a good view, yes.” My eyes flicker to his, then back to my pink Drawx melon, the flesh so sweet it’s practically a dessert. Fresh produce from planetside is always one of my favorite things at our stops.
“This will be my first time seeing the show,” he says, and then goes into a story Pon was sharing that I’ve already heard.
I want to listen, but his scent triggers the earlier memory of my mother and brings High Queen Laerkin’s death to the surface of my thoughts once again. I’ve tried to come to peace with it all, but the calm is fleeting. Renner ran the thoughts off, kidnapping me as he did, but on the dawn of a new day, I find nothing has changed. The memory of her is a bitter taste in my mouth juxtaposed to the sweet melon. Her death ushers in—
“Talie?”
“I’m sorry.” I swallow. “What did you say?”
“I asked what your favorite act is.”
I sigh and lean back in my chair, appetite gone. “I like them all.”
“I see.” He steeples his fingers. “What’s wrong?”
I want to make a snide comment about how he told me he was never serious and his concern borders on that, but I can’t. There’s a part of me that longs to be asked that very question by someone who actually wants to know the answer. Not someone who’s only there because they have to be.
“I’ve been thinking about the High Queen’s death.” The truth slips out.
He visibly stiffens. “Why?”
“It was…tragic. How can something like that happen?” I lean in and lower my voice. “You were with the royal guard. They blamed it on the Rising, but…how does someone get past that type of security?”
“I—I don’t know. I’ve never been to Cerlia.” He looks out the viewport, rubbing at his jaw. “But it only takes one person not doing their job…”
“There were rumors it was an assassination.” I don’t know why I say it, but his reaction is not what I expected.
“Where have you heard that?” His brow dips in a jagged V, serious and focused. I’m seeing the royal guard side of Renner.
“Ship chatter,” I hedge. “It probably came from some guest spouting a conspiracy. No one really knows.”
The murder took place planets away, but the ramifications reach throughout the Xerus Galaxy. I know that better than most.
“It is true!” Freyda stands with her hands on her hips, black lips parted in an exaggerated O. “You—he—I can’t believe this, Talie!”
Her outburst has caught the attention of the rest of the galley, and I freeze. “Freyda.” I look at Renner and back to her. I nearly miss her wink. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.”
“But he’s your intended.” She blurts the word so loudly, I’m sure the whole ship can hear, and I cringe inwardly at her overacting. Then again, if I wanted the ship to know, it certainly will now.
“Frey.” I jump to her side, food long forgotten, and latch on to her arm. “Walk with me?”
I shoot a look back at Renner, but he seems relieved to see me go as he reaches for my discarded muffin.
Out in the hallway, Freyda bursts into a fit of giggles, but I hush her until we’re on the trav-tube.
“And Delmar said I was only good for the tightrope. I’d say I’m quite the actress, am I not? Was it just me, or did Pon look overly disappointed that Renner is off the market?”
I shake my head, but she laughs again. “Are you so certain she hadn’t already heard? Ships gossip and all.”
“Good point.” Her black lips quirk. “Delmar said this ruse was your idea.”
“It was. And if he would have listened to me before barging in to Renner’s room, things could have gone differently.”
“You know how he gets,” Freyda says. “His way or the void.”
She’s joking, but sometimes it does feel that way. I lean in, conspiratorially. “You should have seen Renner’s face.” I recall his look of utter shock. “Priceless.”
“You didn’t tell him your plan before Delmar came in?”
“I didn’t have the chance. But you know, it’s better this way—fewer questions.” We share a look.
“Speaking of his face…” She trails off, one perfect eyebrow lifting. “Where did you find this Aquis look-a-like?”
I laugh at her comparison to the Meloran god of the sea who is always pictured toned and shirtless.
“I actually think he’s more muscular than Aquis, but I’d have to see him without a shirt to know.”
“Freyda.” I blush at her boldness.
“You’re right.” She holds out her palms to me. “You found him first.”
“He’s just…” I bite my lip.
This was the part of the story I hadn’t rehearsed. After our charade in front of Renner, Delmar had pulled me aside to tell me in no uncertain terms that having Renner aboard was a security risk. I got him to agree to take Renner from Drawx using our “intended” ruse, but Delmar made sure I knew Renner would be kicked off at the next viable station with news of our broken engagement to follow.
I knew what I would tell the crew until then—a well fabricated lie. But what could I tell my observant best friend? If she knew the truth about him nearly holding me hostage, she would be much less forgiving.
“Talie, how did you meet this boy?” Her look sharpens. “Where is he from? How did he convince you to get him on the crew?”
Her rapid questions coil around my lungs, but the trav-tube door slides open giving me a moment to collect my thoughts. We walk toward my berth, but Freyda’s silence is pressure. When we reach my door, she stops. Despite the fact it’s time for her rehearsal, she won’t leave until I give her answers.
“He needs to get off Drawx. Quickly. He’s doing it for his mother and sister.”
“Oh, Talie.” My name comes out as a sigh on her dark lips.
“It’s not like last time. I promise. He’s not like Leva.” At least I don’t think so.
“Why do you insist on putting yourself in harm’s way like this?” Now she sounds more like a premier and less like my friend. “He could have found another way off Drawx.”
I can’t argue that.
“As handsome as he is, I’m not happy about this. Farce or not, he could ruin everything. You know the rules, Tal.”
The coil tightens, and I fight for breath.
“I’ve got to go. We’ll talk later?” She kisses me on the cheek and flies down the hall on light feet as if she were atop the tightrope already. She’s gone before I can form a coherent thought, but maybe that’s best.
I’m tired of defending my decisions. My mother challenged me to always let compassion and kindness lead my decision-making. She trained me to evaluate, process, and be decisive, yet living on the Midway has left my true self atrophied. Like a limb forbidden to work its purpose, only to find it has forgotten it.
I shake off the feelings of unrest, reminding myself that five cycles with Phenomena is a small price to pay for safety.
I enter my room and see the door to one of my closets has stayed open. Renner’s black armor shines back at me, and I thank the stars I didn’t invite Freyda in—this would be hard to explain.
I’ve already hidden his pistol in a drawer, but the rest must be concealed. I kneel and begin to move it further into the closet. Chest and back plates, arm pieces, and leg shields all made of the same light weight, durasteel blend in matte black. Not power armor, but a power suit strong enough for security detail. And then the helmet, a thin sio-glass, retractable panel that—a black datapad slides to the floor.
Frowning, I pick it up and tap it awake. It flashes angry red at me and demands a passcode. It’s encrypted and probably only opens to his touch. I move to set it back down, but an image appears on the screen—a personalization option many use.
It’s Renner, standing with his arm around the waist of a young woman. She’s very beautiful with long, blonde hair that hangs in wavy curls and a bright smile. He looks relaxed. Happy. He’s clearly wearing a royal guard uniform, the crown insignia above his heart indicating his position.
I bring the datapad closer. Its palm-sized screen makes me squint, but I catch the thin outline of an aurtanium crown circlet on her head. My stomach clenches, and I toss the device back with the armor.
I knew there was more to Renner Cartha than what he shared, but this image seems in direct conflict with the story he told me. The photo looks like it was taken recently and, if he’s this close with who I can only assume is Lè Fayrin Tai, Princess of Drawx, then why would he be shipped off to Polis?
Is it possible he’s using me just like Leva did? Have I agreed to help a criminal escape—again? And if so, what has he done?
I sink to the floor, dropping my face into my hands, and allow the tears to fall. Mother said my compassion would be my strength, but all it has given me is weakness.
When my cheeks dry, my gaze lands on his armor. Steely resolve clamps around my heart, acting like its own power suit. I will uncover Renner’s lies and the real reason he needs to leave Drawx, or else his days with the Phenomena are numbered. I cannot allow him to endanger our crew or the secret we hide.