This is going to be painful. Fighting Jas always is. He’s taller by more than ten centimeters, has me by 20 kilos, and his fist is roughly the size of my bicep, which I don’t think anyone would call small. But none of that matters when he’s dressed in polyweave and I’m not.
“This is hardly fair,” I say, pointedly looking at what he’s wearing.
He shakes his head. “You’ve always been too funny for your own good, Ren.”
“But you do think I’m funny.”
“Renner.” I sense Talie’s frustration and admit it may seem like I’m goading him for the fun of it, but I need the extra time to form a plan.
I assume Jas is interested in taking me back to Drawx and cashing in on whatever accolades my capture will gain him. He’s been looking to progress in court hierarchy, but he saw Talie’s performance. Being a captain and not a complete idiot, he must know what she is too. I’d like to believe that he’ll keep it to himself, but I’m also not stupid. Jas has always been an opportunist, no matter the cost to himself or others, and uncovering the whereabouts of one of the lost Gravless princesses will be too tempting for him to pass up.
“Have I ever laughed at your jokes?” He spits the words like he’s eaten something rotten.
“There’s still time.”
“Actually, there isn’t.” And just like that, Jas ruins my brilliant plan to throw myself at him by pulling out a blast pistol. It glows orange—set to stun—but that doesn’t make me feel any better. If he incapacitates me, Talie is fair game.
If there was ever a time I wished I had my armor and weapons, it’s now.
“You’re coming with me, Ren. I’m under orders to—”
His pistol flies to the ceiling, and he stares at his empty fingers like they’ve betrayed him.
“It’s time for you leave,” Talie says.
I want to question her—why the pistol and not the man?—but I don’t know exactly how her ability works, and now is not the time for conversation.
“Yeah, what she said.” I try to look menacing.
“Don’t you work fast.” He sends a leering glance at Talie. “Can’t believe you’ve already got the little Gravless under your spell.”
“She’s not little,” I say in Talie’s defense. It’s only when I meet her gaze that I realize I didn’t exactly compliment her. “What I meant was…oh, never mind.”
I charge at him, recommitting to my initial plan.
Jas throws a mean punch, straight at my head, a second too late. I duck and take him from the middle, tackling him to the ground like a charging dreyhass. It’s an all-out war of arms and fists after that. I put him in a hold, he maneuvers out of it to pin me until I slip away. Repeat.
I see Talie from the corner of my eye as Jas’s hands make it past my block to wrap around my throat.
“I’m fine,” I rasp, blood rushing to my head in a roar. “Really, I’ve got…everything under…control.”
She looks between us, indecision in the lines crossing her forehead, but then she turns and runs down the hall.
Okay, so she just deserted me. I’ll deal with those emotions later.
I slide my free arm under Jas, twist my head, and use a violent motion to shove my elbow and shoulder upward. I manage to break his hold, dragging in vast amounts of air, when I hear the whisper of the door again.
My distraction gains me a vicious blow to the left eye—that’ll leave a mark—and I cringe as Jas pulls back for another hit, but my gaze snags on the slender red vex climbing up his back, four tiny legs barely supporting its long slithering body. My unschooled reaction must show horror because his fist falters, and he slowly turns, but it’s too late. The vex sinks its two-centimeter-long fangs into Jas’s neck. He immediately goes stiff.
I scoot back from him as quickly as I dare. I know a vex will be drawn to hasty movements, and I am not looking to be its next victim.
“I’ve got him,” a soft voice says. Gemma swoops in and captures the vex in one swift motion. She’s got a hold of its head, but as she talks to it, it coils its long body around her wrist in submission.
I look back to Jas and, because sometimes I can’t help but act like a child, I use one finger and push. He crashes to the side, unable to move. I know he’s still aware, which is mostly why I do it, but a little reaction would have been the icing on the cake.
“Really, Renner?” Talie steps out from behind Gemma.
“I couldn’t help myself.”
The pistol falls, smacking me in the head. I shoot a glare at Talie before bending to pick it up.
“What?” she says innocently, “I couldn’t help myself.”
“What just happened?” I ask.
“Gemma helped you escape him,” she points a finger at Jas, but her focus remains on me. “Though why we keep saving you is a mystery. I think you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”
She might be right, but I won’t admit it. “Okay, what do we do with him?”
“We’ll take care of him.” Gemma’s cat eyes flash. She’s let go of the vex, taking the pistol from me, but the creature seems content to remain coiled around her forearm. She has a way with animals I don’t understand. “But now, Talie is needed below decks.”
“No, she needs to get out of sight. I’m thinking we hide you in your room, and—”
Gemma makes a dismissive grunt. “She’ll be fine. Roper is very good at what he does. She is needed in the dreyhass pen.”
“What did I miss?” I ask Talie.
“Bon’s broken her foreleg,” Gemma interrupts. “Her cage door malfunctioned.”
“Hang on.” I hold out a staying hand, my brow knit in confusion as I turn on Talie. “I just outed you to a room full of people, and you’re more concerned about a dreyhass? What in the Verse is going on?”
“What’s going on,” Gemma’s tone is even and calming, “is that Talie is doing her job—helping with the circus. Anything more than that is not your concern.”
The edge of challenge in the woman’s voice, along with the pointed look she gives Talie, clues me in on something. I’d thought Talie was hiding from everyone, but now I can see there are some who know the truth. Just how many, I can’t begin to guess, but tonight’s mistake doesn’t change as much as I thought it would. Or, perhaps, not as much as I think it should.
“I’ll go with you,” I offer.
“I don’t need your help.” Some of the sharpness is back.
“You should let him come,” Gemma agrees, nodding at the end of the corridor. “He’s good with the animals. Besides, Roper will be here to help me with this soldier in a few minutes.”
“Fine. Come on,” Talie says.
We make our way down the passway and out into the hall. It’s blessedly empty, but she still rushes to slip into the trav-tube. I want to break the silence, but the fast ride to the stables leaves me no time to think of what I should say.
There’s a galaxy of unspoken truths between us by this point. Her true identity, mine, the secrets I know about her—her family—and the reality of what she represents. The sheer weight of her responsibility now that the High Queen is dead….
I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around how all of the pieces fit, but there’s one thing I know. She’s going to demand answers I can’t give. Not without knowing where she stands in all of this.
The scent of animals hits us when we emerge from the tube. She pauses, takes in a shallow breath, and then steps into the hallway leading to the dreyhass pen.
“Wait.” I reach for her, feeling her muscles tense under my touch. “Are you okay?”
“To be honest, no.” She smooths a palm over her hair, effectively pushing me away. “You’ve come into my life and just about ruined everything.”
Okay, so I wasn’t expecting that. I thought she was going to say she was tired or something.
“I was fine before you.” Her gaze hardens. “My act was fine—better than fine. And my life was uncomplicated. Well, as much as it can be. But you.” She leans forward, and I can feel the finger she isn’t pointing at me. “You’ve run roughshod over everything. There’s no personal space, nothing too impossible you won’t try, not even a girl you won’t flirt with.”
“Hey now,” I hold up my palms. “I don’t flirt.”
“You do. Anything female that moves is fair game.” She looks upset, and for the life of me I can’t understand why. “And you know the worst part?” Tears form in the corners of her eyes. “There’s a part of me that likes how you’ve shaken up my life. I must be the stupidest girl in all of the Verse because your kind of complication is not fun and games. It’s dangerous.”
“You’re not stupid, Le’è.” For once, there’s no hint of humor in my tone.
“No, I am. Because I can’t live with the threat you bring. And I certainly can’t give in to,” she tosses a hand at me, “whatever you think is between us.”
I blink. Whatever I think? I want to invade her personal space and prove it’s not just some one-sided infatuation, but she keeps speaking.
“Don’t look so surprised. If you truly know what I am—who I am—then you know the path I must take. The restrictions.”
I frown. I know a decent amount about the High House and the Rule of Gravless, but most of my information is restricted to what I needed to know in order to best serve Lè Fayrin’s efforts. I’m not sure what she’s referring to, but I’m sure there are numerous pressure points she faces.
“I don’t, but—” I take a tentative step. I want to reach out, touch her, assure her I see the strain she’s under. I know what it’s like to hide. Stars, I’m still hiding.
“Don’t.” She steps back. “I am a Gravless and therefore bound to the throne and…” She drops my gaze. “…marriage to the court’s appointed choice.”
The words land between us, and I assess them with a logical soldier’s mind. She is Gravless. She will rule one day. The court will appoint her husband. Good. Fine.
But when I meet her gaze, my eyes skip from their frigid blue to trail over the sparkles on her cheeks and land on her lips. The kiss we shared still sears my mind with heat and a longing I want to pretend doesn’t exist.
She’s untouchable, but all I can think about is touching her. Running my fingers over her smooth skin and—
“I bear the weight of a galaxy on my shoulders, Renner. I can only exist in hiding for now, but”—she shrinks with worry—“I don’t know if I can trust you not to undermine that. There’s clearly more you’re not telling me.”
So many things. Like the desire I have for her that can never be satisfied. Way to go, Renner. Always falling for the girl you can’t have.
“I’ll get off at the next dock, and you’ll never see me again if that’s what you want.” My words are husky despite my best efforts. “But know this—I will not betray you. I know something of keeping secrets.”
“You’re like gravity, Renner. Impossible to escape.” Her sigh is bone deep. “And believe me, I know gravity.”
“What do you want from me?” I sound as frustrated as I feel. She’s not accepting my offer to leave, but she’s also made her position clear.
“The truth.” Twin pools of ice stare back at me, but I can see below the surface to the real girl behind the cold crystals. Talie lives in the shadow despite her life in the spotlight. She denies who she is every minute of every day. She can’t let anyone in because it’s a danger not only to herself but to them. The weight of the purpose she bears is unbelievable.
But she’s lonely. And maybe a little bit reckless.
A loud, strangled cry jerks her gaze from mine. It’s the dreyhass, Bon, and she’s obviously in pain.
“I need to help them.” She turns, but I catch her hand. It trembles in mine.
“I’ll tell you what I can.” My brain tries to shut my mouth, but I resist. She was honest with me, and I can return the favor. “But it may not be what you want to hear.”
“Tonight.” Her look challenges me. “On the star deck at 2400 hours.”
I nod as another cry rends the charged air between us. “We’d better go.”
“You’re coming?” she frowns.
“Someone’s going to need to distract Bon. I volunteer.”
Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but she turns to go and I follow.
I’m not sure if I lied to her just now or if I really will tell her what she wants to know. But for now, all I want to do is follow the white-haired beauty whose abilities defy logic and science. It’s not smart, knowing what I do about her future path, but I can’t help myself.
It strikes me then, the irony of the situation we’re in. Talie and I are like two stars, burning with the weight of purpose. We both must shine bright, but if we do, one of us might just burn the other out.