IRIS
Something resembling a smile crosses Penelope Stellars’s face, a rarity. The woman is intimidating. She makes the grumpy old men I’ve worked with at the law office seem like a walk in the park. More than anything, she’s hard to read. I’ve been training with her for a week, and I swear she’s less than impressed with what I bring to the table. This might-be-a-grin that she’s wearing now brings me so much pride I have to stop myself from jumping up in celebration.
I motion my hand around the room. “Everything look okay?”
She dips her chin and turns her assessing gaze toward me. “Everything looks great, Iris. There’s a definite theme. It’s welcoming and fun but classy. Just what I wanted. It will look great in pictures and videos.” She slowly turns, scanning the space. “Just enough flair.”
My heart beats triumphantly in my chest as genuine happiness warms my skin. “Thank you, Ms. Stellars.”
“Please, I’ve told you to call me Penny.”
“Thanks, Penny.” I swallow hard. Her nickname rolling off my tongue makes me feel all sorts of weird. She carries too strong of a presence for a fun nickname. It’d be like walking into my advanced econ lecture with the toughest professor I’ve ever had, Dr. William Penfield, and addressing him as Billy. Immediate hives.
Pulling my clipboard from the bag, I say, “Should we go over the schedule one more time?”
“Yes, please,” Penny answers.
I check the time. “Doors will open in an hour. Guests will receive their goody bag upon entry. The local TV stations and some hockey influencers will be here.” I hand her a printed list of all the guests who will be sharing media from the event on the various socials. “Caterers are completing final touches in the kitchen as we speak. Waitstaff are getting dressed—”
She cuts me off. “In the…?”
“In the uniform you approved on Monday.” She nods, and I continue. “The guys will arrive thirty minutes after the doors open. The schedule remains as discussed.” I hand her a copy of the printed schedule of events we have fine-tuned all week. Her brown stare looks over the schedule, and her lips remain in a line. “Beckett assures me the guys will be on time.”
Penny scoffs. “That would be a first.”
“I think it’s going to be a great event. We already have donations coming in, and I predict we will surpass our goal.”
For decades, the team has had a nonprofit building company, Cranes Cares, to help people in need. Most projects include updating the homes for the elderly or people with special needs, such as adding handicap-accessible doors and wheelchair ramps. The company updates outdated electric boxes or other hazards and rebuilds leaky roofs and broken windows for those who can’t afford to do it on their own.
Most people don’t realize the hockey team runs the Cranes Cares building company. While the Cranes logo is a bird, they went with the machine version for the building company’s logo.
One of the biggest tornadoes in northern Michigan wiped out a large portion of a small town made up of mostly farmers. It devastated this community. I secured my job by suggesting we plan a fundraiser to bring in enough money to rebuild many of the homes lost in that town. The guys had space in their schedule this weekend, so I made it happen in a week, a lofty goal for a seasoned event planner, let alone a first-time one. I knew I could do it, and I did. I’ve done everything in my power to make this night perfect.
“Great work, Iris.” She hands me back the paper schedule. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” I say as Penny walks away.
The next hour flies by as I hurry around the hall, making sure everything is perfect. Guests begin arriving promptly at six, and the guys are all in attendance thirty minutes later as instructed. The food is delicious. The guys are friendly with the fans, as always. The two starting defensemen, Jaden and Max, film a TikTok with an influencer in the corner of the room while the other guys pose for photos, autograph various items, and talk to fans.
Everyone in the room seems to be having a great time.
I could get used to this.
Maybe this is the job for me. This week has been high energy, lots of organizing, and stressful in the best of ways. The result is beyond rewarding. Granted, I started my tenure as the Cranes event planner with a bang, organizing this charity event. I realize that most things I’ll be working on won’t be to this scale. I think Penny, and the boss that she is, was all about trial by fire. I’m sure she figured if I could survive this week, then I could hold my own in this organization. She has her hands full managing the guys, and I feel like she wanted to make sure the person who took this position wouldn’t need their hand held.
“Amazing, Sis!” Beckett comes up to my side.
“Isn’t it? I’m so happy with how everything turned out.”
“Donations coming in?”
I look at Beck. “Yeah, they are. More than expected.”
“Good, and if I’m not mistaken, you’re pleased with yourself. Yeah?” He gives me a side smile.
I bite my bottom lip and grin. “Yeah, I am.”
“So this position could be good for you?” He looks hopeful.
I shrug. “It’s only been a week, but I think so. I mean, this is the most fun I’ve had in a job ever. I loved planning it all. I love working from the offices at the rink and seeing all the guys. It’s just a good vibe.”
“That’s amazing. I’m happy you’re happy.”
“Thanks, Beck.”
The night continues without incident, and we do, in fact, raise a record amount of donations. Every time Cade comes into view, some of the giddiness from the success of the evening is sucked from my body as I have to watch him with woman after woman, smiling and taking pictures. As freeing as Barbados was, I’m starting to wish it never happened in the first place.
* * *
I slam my fists against Beckett’s apartment door in warning before using my spare key to let myself in. He comes stumbling out of his bedroom in his boxer shorts, bags under his eyes, and hair standing up straight on his head.
“What the fuck, Iris? Did someone die?”
“No.” I close his apartment door behind me.
He runs his fingers through the disheveled mess atop his head. “Why are you here? I had another hour before I had to get up for practice.” There’s a whine in his voice, and I feel bad for stealing his sleep.
“I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you. I’m in crisis mode.”
He exhales and plops down onto his couch. “When aren’t you in crisis lately? You have to get your shit together, Sis.” He yawns, pulling a throw blanket over his bare torso. “Can you make some coffee, please?”
“Sure.” I nod and hurry to the kitchen. “And I’m trying to get my life together. That’s why I’m here. I need someone to talk to.”
“I’m not sure why you’re choosing me. You know Cade’s always been better at advice. He’d be happy to help, especially during the early morning hours.”
I quickly make two cups of coffee with Beckett’s espresso maker. “I can’t talk to Cade because it deals with him.”
Beckett sits up, looking more awake with that last statement. He takes a cup of espresso from me. “Something’s wrong with Cade?”
I sit in the oversized chair facing the couch. “I have something to tell you, something I’ve kept from you. I need you to hear me out before you comment and… remember that I’m an adult, not your baby sister.”
“But you are my baby sister.”
“No, I’m younger, sure. But I’m not a baby, Beck. I’m twenty-four years old, and this conversation can only be productive if you remember that fact.”
He takes a sip of his coffee. “Okay, you’re an adult. Go.”
I hold up a finger. “Remember. Let me finish before you jump in. I need to get it all out before you start in with your dramatics.”
“Got it.” He raises his brows and pins me with a “get on with it” stare.
I blow out a breath and let the words flow like vomit. “So basically, I’ve been in love with Cade my whole life. We never did anything because of our friendship. Then the night of your graduation party, the two of us kissed. I thought it would finally lead to more, but instead, he told me that it couldn’t happen again and walked away. His rejection crushed me. I was devastated and tried re-inventing myself. After that, I pulled away from you because being around Cade was too painful. Then the crap with Ben happened, and you convinced me to go to Barbados. I had a good time with Cade at Mom and Dad’s anniversary party, so I figured it had been eight years, and I should just let Cade go and move on as friends. So that’s what I tried to do. Yet something was different in Barbados. Cade seemed to feel everything I had always felt toward him, and we ended up fooling around. We didn’t sleep together, but we definitely had… fun. We didn’t agree to any sort of commitment, and I didn’t know what to expect once we were back home. But seeing him flirting with girls every night, knowing that he’s the ‘heartbreaker’ of the team, is really getting to me. I love my new job, but every time I see Cade with another woman, it’s like salt in this wound that feels as if it has been opening and festering for years. I don’t know how to get over him once and for all. And I need to find a way because if I don’t, I won’t be able to keep this job, and I really love it.” My words come out in rapid succession, and with the last word, I pull much-needed air into my lungs and wait.
After a few beats, Beckett says, “I can talk now?”
I nod and then reconsider. “Wait, please don’t be mad at me. For any of it.”
“Well, first, I’m not mad or shocked or anything like that” —the corners of his lips tilt up—“because I already knew most of that.”
“What? Cade told you?”
“No, he didn’t.” Beckett shakes his head with a chuckle. “You two obviously think I’m blind. You and Cade are my best friends, and I know you both inside and out. I knew you were into each other in high school. I knew something happened at the graduation party, and I definitely knew stuff was going on in Barbados.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it wasn’t my place. Both of you know that you can talk to me about anything, and both of you chose to keep it between yourselves. I respected your right to privacy. I knew you’d come to me if you wanted to, but until then, I wasn’t going to insert myself into a situation that neither of you wanted me in.”
I drag my hands down my face. I did not expect to hear that from Beckett, and his admission makes me feel slightly idiotic that I believed he was clueless. “Wow.”
“So you like Cade as in you want to be with him?” Beckett quirks a brow.
“I think so.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not enough. You have to know so. Cade has been in love with you for over a decade, and his feelings have never wavered. He’s had enough pain in his life, so before you do anything, you have to be sure.”
“If you haven’t talked about this with him, what makes you so sure he’s in love with me?”
“Because I know him. I see the way he looks at you. I see the way his face lights up when I talk about you. The guy has been infatuated with you from the moment you met.”
“Then why is he so into other girls?” I cross my arms and lean back into the chair.
“I love you, Iris. But you need to learn to think things out rationally without the weight of your emotions clouding your view. Cade is not into other women. You say you’ve seen him with women this week? What have you seen him doing? Talking, laughing, taking pictures? That’s part of the job. We’re professional hockey players. We have fans. Of course he’s going to talk to them. Have you ever known Cade to be rude to anyone? He’s literally the nicest, most sincere guy in the world. Have you seen him kiss a girl?” He presses his forefinger of one hand to the forefinger of his other as he ticks off each question. “Leave with a girl? Do anything with a girl that he would do with a guy fan? No, you haven’t.”
“Okay, maybe not this week, but I’m sure in the past. He has a nickname for a reason, Beck. I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak by dating the team’s heartbreaker.”
Beckett lets his head fall back and laughs. Shaking his head, he looks at me. “Oh, Iris…” He sighs. “He got the nickname because he breaks hearts by not giving girls a chance in the first place. He’s one of the most eligible bachelors on the team, and he won’t give even the hottest woman his time. He’ll chat with them, laugh with them, and have a genuine conversation, but he doesn’t let it go past that. He doesn’t take women back to his room. He doesn’t do random hookups. The guy is basically a saint, and the fact that you can’t see that makes me question your higher-level thinking skills.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” I throw my arms up in the air.
“By opening your eyes.” Beckett scoffs. “As I said, I love you… but you’re so focused on your own feelings you don’t truly see him.”
“If you knew all this, why didn’t you say something!” I shriek.
“As I said, you never asked.”
“You could’ve saved me a lot of grief,” I snap.
“I know you think I’m just a beautiful idiot.” He puckers his lips, and I can’t help but laugh. “But I see people, and while I saw everything that was going on, I also knew that if you two were going to work, you both had to deal with your own issues first, which takes time. It’s an individual thing, Iris. It didn’t work at my graduation because you two weren’t ready. I’m not sure that you’re ready now.” He shrugs.
“I want to be ready.” I swallow the emotion in my throat.
“Do you love him?”
Thinking for a moment, I answer, “I think so, yeah. What should I do?”
“Well, first, you need to talk to Cade. Be open and honest. Have a discussion like two grown adults. Don’t resort to running or hiding your emotions. Let it all out. And listen.”
I nod. “I can do that.”
“Iris,” he says my name on an exhale.
“Yeah?”
“I’m serious. Listen to Cade. The decisions he’s made have little to do with you and everything to do with him. He walked away from you at that graduation party for a reason. If you love him, you have to be there for him too. He deserves a partner who will lift him up and make his life better. I know he’d do that for anyone he loves, and I just want to make sure that the woman lucky enough to capture Cade Richards’s heart knows what she’s got and loves him the way he’s worthy of.”
I take in my brother now. The words coming from his mouth clash with what I see when I look at him. He’s right. I’ve always thought of him as a handsome, fun-loving, womanizing jokester. Now, I’m realizing maybe I don’t know him as well as I think I do. Certainly not as well as he knows me.
Some of his words sting, but I can’t deny he’s right. I’ve never taken the time to look past my pain and into Cade’s. He was supposed to be my best friend, and because I was hurt, I cut him off—for years. I’ve been selfish, but in my defense, I was lost, drowning in self-doubt. It’s easy to only think about oneself when you’re struggling to keep your head above water. Survival has the canny ability to turn anyone into an egotistical jerk.
I’m done.
Life has to be about more than surviving. I’m ready to be brave enough to live.