The principles in this book have been used in spiritual and religious traditions for millennia. I’m confident that you’ve recognized how these principles show up in the spiritual organizations you know. I assume that you aspire to build something that’s not a cult and probably not your own religion. While it’s true that both religious traditions and harmful cults use many of the principles I’ve outlined above, you can dip into the wisdom of religious tradition and still build something very different. While almost all dogs have tails, putting a tail on something doesn’t make it a dog.
Specifically defining what is and is not a religion is challenging by itself. There are communities in which their identity as a religious group is debatable. For example, while Buddhism is considered one of the five major religions of the world and included in university religious studies departments, I have spoken with Buddhist monks who do not consider their tradition to be a religion. Nonetheless, religions typically have specific ways of including the following four features within a broad range of agreement.
First, they have an origin myth for the universe. The faith tradition has a literal or poetic story about how the universe is created. This story informs the nature of moral rightness and the meaning (or lack thereof) of our lives. Religious origin myths are very often not interpreted literally. Such myths are considered poetic. By this I mean that the story imparts a moral truth through themes and metaphors. This can be the case when the true nature of the supernatural is believed to be beyond the understanding of our limited minds and certainly our language. The stories often remind us that we are sourced from something and we are connected to a global community that goes back much farther than our memory. Such a universal origin myth is different from the literal and true story of a community origin. I would expect that your community origin story limits creation to your community and not to that of all beings in the universe.
Second, there’s a particular cosmology, broadly speaking. A cosmology is a body of thought, doctrine, or understanding about the natural order of the universe: that the universe was created by God, or is entirely an illusion, or is the manifestation of supernatural forms we cannot access. As with the origin myth, cosmological descriptions are often metaphoric. The cosmology helps us understand our place in the world, even if the understanding is limited and poetic. While members often share a cosmology (and I imagine very seldom discuss it as such), most communities you’ll participate in won’t advocate a particular cosmology.
Third, there’s an agreed source of moral truth. Any given religious tradition agrees on some entity or idea that points to moral truth. An example of this might be how to understand when our own actions are moral or immoral. Even in spiritual communities, such a generally shared understanding of moral truth rarely makes important moral choices easy or clear, but the traditions at least provide a source that members can turn to. This is different from simply agreeing on what relevant choices are moral or immoral. In secular communities, members will share some sense of moral agreement (so members can get along). Rarely will you share a rubric for what makes universal moral rightness. It’s perfectly okay to handle what’s fair and good for your work and the issues you’re dealing with. This may mean agreeing on how to demonstrate respect, honesty, and support. You don’t have to agree on what makes moral things moral on behalf of the cosmos.
Fourth, there’s a particular epistemology, or way to identify truth. Epistemology is the theory of knowledge—how we know what’s true. Everyone has a general way of knowing how to recognize truth. Whatever you understand is true, there’s a way that you came to believe this. You may not be aware that you have your own way of deciding what’s true. Epistemology is not only for religions. You can believe things are true simply because someone you respect told you (a teacher), or you saw something and your interpretation is all you need. For religions that include belief in a supernatural realm, there are ways that supernatural truth is revealed to us in the material world. How that is revealed is for another book. It’s unlikely that your community will create a worldview that instructs members how to fundamentally know what’s true.
Cults are also difficult to define clearly. The term has meant many things over the past three centuries, and today it’s used very differently in religious scholarship and colloquially. The term is often used pejoratively to describe groups others fear or simply don’t like. For my purposes here, I’m including features of harmful cults that can lead people to do things they previously would have thought horrible and even to harm themselves over months or years. If you avoid the features below, you can confidently avoid creating a cult.
If we remember that the most important thing about a community is serving members to enrich their lives and connect to a dynamic world, then we can see how these features can easily lead members away from this goal.
For clarity, let me explain that simply because group members dress and talk alike, spend a lot of time together, talk about how much they love the community, and invite others to participate doesn’t make them a cult. This could describe many high school marching bands or a cooperative grocery store in Brooklyn. A true harmful cult has a far higher (or lower) standard.
Absolute moral authority resides with the leader alone. The leader has unquestioned and irrefutable superior access to moral truth. This means that whatever the leader says is right: followers can have no meaningful discussion about its truth.
Leadership is not accountable to anyone else. The leader is not accountable to any higher authority. This is unlike ministers, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religions, who have higher bodies that can evaluate and restrain them.
Unquestioning commitment to the leader is required. Members must demonstrate unquestioning commitment to the leader’s belief system, ideology, and truth. If they fail, they’ll be rejected. This is very different from a group that simply agrees on a general ideology or a belief system. This feature is about members being unable to question or reconsider what the leader teaches. Expressions of doubt or dissent are punished.
Isolation from the outside is encouraged. Members are encouraged to cut their ties with their outside community, including family and friends. This isolation is coupled with strong encouragement to socialize or live only with cult members. This is very different from a community whose members simply choose to spend a lot of time together.
Exit barriers are high. The group makes it difficult, and sometimes impossible, to leave. This can be done through physical, emotional, or psychological threats or blackmail, or through financial manipulation. In a healthy community, members can leave whenever they decide that their values are no longer in alignment with those of other group members.
Worldview is polarized. The group has an us-versus-them mentality with the world. This is the opposite of a healthy community that considers itself a part of the dynamic world and seeks to enrich the world with its work and teaching.
Ultimate moral permission rests within the group. The group believes that its exceptional status and its all-important ends justify whatever means members choose to achieve their goals. These include activities members would have considered unethical, reprehensible, or illegal before joining.
Obsession with growing the group is central. The group is focused on acquiring new members rather than on enriching the lives of current members or accomplishing other goals.
If these features are not part of your community and you have no intention of including them, then you’re likely building something very different from a cult.
When you upend unhealthy features found in cults, what you find is a list of positive features that the best communities possess. Your challenge is to find ways to strengthen these features in your communities.
The leader has bounded moral authority. All members have some understanding about moral authority. Members can question the moral truth in actions or ideas. Respectful discussion on controversial topics is understood as important and necessary. When a leader has gone beyond moral propriety, others can remove him or her, denounce the action, and correct what must be rectified.
Commitment to the leader is limited and contextualized with other commitments in a member’s life. A member’s commitment to the leader’s belief system, ideology, and truth is limited and contextualized within other commitments and values. This can include family, work, and spiritual values and commitments. A group may simply agree on a general ideology or a belief system and also explore questions that confront the belief system or ideology. Dissent is welcome as long as it’s respectful and allows the group to function to serve members.
There’s engagement with the outside. Members are encouraged to engage, enrich, and participate with the outside community, including outside family and friends. Whatever members get from their insider community will enrich the parts of their lives that happen outside the community as well. If a community spends a lot of time together, there’s awareness that family relationships and outside friendships are also important and need attention.
An exit is always available. Members can leave whenever they see that their values are not in alignment with the group. Members know how they can leave. This can include never attending gatherings again. Members are never threatened for leaving, though remaining members may be disappointed and express this respectfully.
There’s a connected worldview. The group sees itself as part of the greater dynamic world and seeks to enrich the world with its work and teaching. This can include global service efforts or simply local efforts to create friendship and connection.
Leadership has accountability. The leader is accountable to a higher authority. This may include a formal or informal elders group, funders, or the general membership. This is similar to how ministers, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religions are subject to higher bodies that can evaluate and restrain them when their behavior falls outside the community values.
There’s bounded moral permission. The group believes that its status as part of a dynamic world means that it must consider the moral rightness of its actions and goals. The group knows the moral limits applied in the outside world also limit its own insider actions.
Growing the group is a priority equal to others. The group welcomes new members who share its values. This includes discussing values, inviting participation, and sharing how to achieve membership. Growing membership is no more important than serving members and never important enough to lie, trick, or pressure visitors to join. The group believes only visitors who are honestly inspired by the membership and the real values of the community are right for membership.