twenty-eight

Lions and Predators

The day I graduated from the anti-armour course, wo Godin told me, with his usual assertiveness, that I would go for a walk with him. And of course, I did. As we walked along the red gravel running trail, which I’d nicknamed the bacon bit trail because of its odd orangey colour, wo Godin had some last words of wisdom to share with me.

“Captain, would you prefer to be a lion in charge of an army of sheep, or a lamb in charge of an army of lions?” wo Godin asked. I had once read a version of this question in a philosophy class, but until now, I’d never really considered it.

“Hmmm, I’m not sure. A lion?” I responded hesitantly and he said nothing, as if I’d chosen the wrong answer. I continued contemplating his question and after a few more seconds of reflection, I confirmed, “Yes, I think I’d rather be a lion for sure. Final answer.” Still he said nothing.

“What? Am I a lamb? You think I’m a lamb?” I said, alarmed, fearful of his answer.

Then, he motioned for us to sit on a bench and said, “No. Make no mistake, Captain Perron, you are a lion if there ever was one. In fact, you are about as lion as they come. But beware. In addition to sheep under your command, there will be a few lions out there too. They’ll be the toughest on you, especially if they don’t believe women should be in the infantry. They’ll want to take you down simply because of what you are, and by the very nature of the beast, they will influence all of those sheep who just want to follow the loudest roar.” What he had just described was pretty much my entire journey in the infantry since Phase 4. Undisputedly, I’d had first-hand experience with lions, sharks, and many other predators.

“Yeah, I’m scared about that. They’ve managed to take a few bites out of me already. I’m not as whole as I used to be.”

“I know,” was all he said, but his look told me to hang on, to stick with it, to persevere.

“You might have climbed a tree too weak to stand,” he said and when he saw the puzzled look on my face he continued. ‘Gordon Lightfoot. And foolish I would climb once more a tree too weak to stand.’”

I didn’t fully understand the meaning of his words right then. My head was already spinning with everything else happening around me: graduation, the thought of getting my own anti-tank platoon, deploying once again to the former Yugoslavia. But I tucked them away in my mind, knowing that one day they might have special meaning to me.