MORNING COMES WITH TWO VICTORIES.
First: two crates of supplies in the square, dropped from the sky as if a pair of cranes brought them in the night. When I check the boxes, the Mantis bottles are on top. Enough to give to Lieutenant Hao for the Thirds he found to get the mask factory running.
Second: Soldiers have arrived at the base of the rice paddies below the City. A concentrated mass of black dots so far below us they look like ants, only with better formations. They’ll be here before nightfall, which means Mei and I will be leaving in the confusion.
I haven’t told Captain Bai that I’ll be disappearing for while. Hope is a fragile thing, especially since it isn’t just the captain’s good opinion at stake. I have no doubts that if I stretch this man too far, it will end in Mother appearing here in the City, disappointment on her face.
When I sit him down in the cafeteria, I’m not sure what to say at first, running through the words in my mind over and over as if I can somehow change one or another to make myself sound more like Mother. Confident. In control. Having more facts but choosing to keep them to myself.
Instead I say, “I need to go away.”
Captain Bai sits forward an inch, though his face doesn’t change. “Sir?”
“Not for long, I hope. An issue has arisen that I need to address. Personally.” I duck my head, attempting to meet his eyes the way he isn’t supposed to meet mine, but for once he keeps his gaze focused on the table between us, brow furrowed.
“I’m confident you will be able to continue with our objectives,” I continue. “You have more experience directing men than I do. Now we have some food and Mantis to bargain with for when Lieutenant Hao comes. The soldiers arriving should be bringing more resources as well. You should be all right until I get back.”
Captain Bai cocks his head. “The General is very… generous.”
The question underneath fills me with dread. “She—”
“Excuse me if I interrupt, sir.” Captain Bai’s cold eyes lift, finally connecting with mine. “But she wouldn’t have sent supplies if I’d been the one asking.”
My hands clasp together under the table, and it takes all the self-control I own to separate them, let them hang at my sides.
“I’ve seen quite a bit of forest Outside. I’ve seen the camps out there and the people inside them.” Captain Bai glances toward the window, other buildings too close to see much of the City from here. “And I think this is the first time I’ve felt as if a commanding officer raised in the City may have seen some of it too.”
My mouth hangs open, my tongue dry.
“I don’t know what’s going on with the General, Major Hong. Or with the Chairman, or with the camps, or with anyone else.” He leans in, keeping his eyes locked to mine. “Only that something isn’t right. But I believe that you won’t let us die.”
“I’m going after the cure.” I savor the words in my mouth, trying them out. “We went to Kamar for it and were too late. I believe I know where it is.”
He nods, as if that makes perfect sense. “I knew they wouldn’t have sent us into Kamar for nothing. The invaders took it? And your little assistant is going to lead you to it?”
I open my mouth, not sure what to say. To contradict him when he’s right? It’s sort of gratifying to realize that Mei’s just as bad at being a spy as I am at handling one. “How did you know?”
The captain’s hand dips inside his coat and pulls out the knife he used to cut open the growth regulator bag. “I’m a fighter, Captain Hong. A soldier. A leader, when required. Not a man of politics. I don’t have to see the whole picture to know there are things happening that don’t make sense. That it’s not only loose ends that are being left behind these days. If you know more than I do and know how to fix it…” He holds the knife out to me. “You be careful with that girl. She’s not wearing her bones, but it’s not difficult to see she’d like to add yours to them.”
Mei’s eyes didn’t open before I left this morning, shadowed underneath though she managed to sleep after I talked to her. She didn’t talk back much, but the sound of my voice seemed to help. Almost like she was pretending I was someone else. Someone she could trust to get her to sleep before another compulsion came. Last night it made me want to know more, to find out who a Menghu trusts. Or, rather, who Mei does. To understand more than her history working on a City farm, which led her to the Menghu. But, in morning’s light, it’s easier to forget that Mei has a history, likes and dislikes. Fears. Much easier to remember the way the point of her knife jammed against my chest through my coat.
Captain Bai places the knife on the table in front of me when I don’t take it. “Protect yourself, Major. We’ll have a Mantis lab secured by the time you get back. Maybe we’ll be using it to make a cure instead.”
I take the knife, the weight of it like a mantle spreading across my shoulders.
When I bring Mei a dose of Mantis, she grabs the pills from my fingers and swallows them dry, though I have a cup of water for her in my other hand.
“Untie me,” she says once the pills are down. I kneel next to her, the knots resisting when I pull them apart.
Mei lets out a long sigh when her arms are free, pulling at her bootlaces, though for some reason I don’t think the sigh has anything to do with tight shoes. Once one is off, her fingers massage her bare ankle, then pull off her sock, going after the arch and ball of her foot. She has dainty feet, her toenails painted light pink.
“Stop looking at my foot. It hurts,” she snaps as she starts unlacing her second boot. “I’m assuming if ‘Sevvy’ is enough to make you abandon your post here, then you aren’t planning just to check in with her. If you try to get her out, is she going to be happy going with you?”
Taken aback by her straightforwardness, it takes me a while to find words. “Is a few weeks of Mantis really enough for you to abandon your post and help get her out?” I finally ask.
“Just answer me.” Mei pulls off the boot. “Would she trust you?”
“Yes.” The lie makes my shoulders go stiff. It might not be a lie. I’d hope that in a secured Menghu facility, Sev would put aside our differences long enough to follow. I just can’t make any promises about what would happen once she was Outside, breathing the air that wedged so much space between us in the first place.
“Good.” Mei reaches for the cup of water. She downs it then drops it on the floor between us, wiggling her toes out in front of her. “That company of Reds you called in is getting here tonight, right? We’ll leave as they come in.”
I blink, but refrain from reminding her that I’m the one who is supposed to be in control. “That was what I was thinking.”
“I’ll meet you down there. You bring the supplies.”
I sit back, watching as she massages her other foot, her eyes pinched closed. Why isn’t Mei more conflicted about getting Sevvy away from Dr. Yang? It makes all of this seem much dirtier, as if I’m somehow now a part of Mei’s plot instead of Mei being tied to mine.
Perhaps “dirty” is the wrong word. If Mei is interested in finding the cure—not leaving it in a Menghu-secured base—then what does that mean? I watch her wrinkle and unwrinkle her nose, rubbing her foot.
Of course, there’s always the possibility Mei will try to kill me before we’re even out of sight of the walls.
“Is that below you, finding your own pack and supplies?” Mei snaps. “Or am I going to have to sneak through all your stupid guards and pack your clean socks myself, Major Hong?” The return to my title after so pitifully using my name last night grates for some reason.
“Aren’t you supposed to be my assistant?” I take the cup and stand, rolling the thin plastic between my hands. “I’ll expect you and all my things down at the wall when we open the gates.”
It’s uncomfortable, watching her hands clench, and for a moment I’m glad there’s nothing within throwing distance. But then her wide mouth closes in a grimace. “Sephs and Reds, that’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”
Jokes are too hard. They leave everyone wondering what is true and what isn’t. I decide not to try it again.