Chapter Eighteen
Lucas
“I’m doing a press conference this morning to announce the deal,” Bec says on Tuesday morning. All the paperwork’s signed for the transfer, so it’s one hundred percent going ahead. I can’t wait to tell Violet. She can fly out with me when I go next month.
“Sounds good.” It’ll be great not to have to keep that under wraps anymore. We discuss details, and then her voice turns sober.
“Toby’s mum called earlier. Poor little lad’s back in hospital. Any chance you could visit him sometime this week?”
I come crashing back to Earth and rake my fingers through my hair. A familiar knot of dread grips my chest. “Yeah. I’ll go this morning if that’s okay with them.”
“Press conference,” Bec reminds me, but fuck that. If I don’t go today and something happens… no. Not thinking about it.
“This morning,” I tell her.
We make the arrangements, and when we end the call, I grip the back of the sofa and bow my head. I love meeting the kids through the Rainbow Star Foundation, but at the same time, it rips me up inside to see them suffer.
Get it together, Carter. This isn’t about you.
I force the image of my mum lying lifeless on that hospital bed to the back of my mind, along with the accompanying nausea. I suck in a jagged breath that burns my lungs. It doesn’t matter how many times I do it, my gut still recoils at the thought of walking in those buildings. Toby’s hospital isn’t far from here, but first I need to make a detour.
I get a taxi to the hospital after my lightning visit to Bec, where I picked up a stack of stuff for Toby. It’s a good job it’s cloudy today, so I can go in disguise. With a scarf hiding the lower part of my face and wearing a hoodie to cover my hair, I hope I’m as unrecognizable to everyone else as I am to the taxi driver. It’s okay when the foundation is doing some kind of publicity, when we want the press there for exposure, but for private visits, it’d be a nightmare.
The antiseptic hits me as soon as I walk in the door. I know most of it’s in my head, but it doesn’t make the smell go away. I breathe through it, forcing down the panic that stirs like a serpent low in my gut.
One step at a time.
I know my way to the ward, and Toby’s mum meets me outside the door. I take off the scarf and hoodie and dredge up my game face.
“Lucas, thanks so much for coming. It means the world to Toby.” She gives me a tired smile and squeezes my hand.
“Hey, that’s okay. How is he?” I know it’s a fucking stupid question, but it’s like a dance of words, saying one thing while meaning so much more.
“He picked up an infection, but it’s hit him hard.” She gives a ragged sigh. “He’s still in remission.”
Relief floods through me. I know an infection is dangerous for him, but at least the cancer hasn’t come back, a worry that has been eating me ever since speaking to Bec.
We go in, and Toby’s sitting up in bed, tubes feeding into his little body. His face lights up when he sees me.
“Hey, Toby. How’s my main man?” We do a complicated high five that he taught Jax and me on his birthday the other week, and I sit on the edge of his bed. Within a couple of minutes a few other kids inch closer, and Toby’s mum brings over some chairs for them.
I’m glad I grabbed a heap of stuff from Bec’s. I swear that woman’s psychic. A few weeks ago, she ordered loads of swag from my new team, not that she told me until yesterday, when she suggested we do giveaways through my fan club. But right now, I’m giving away signed caps, backpacks, and soft toys of their mascot. The kids love it, especially when I tell them it’s a big secret and they’re the first ones who know I’m transferring to Madrid from United.
It’s over an hour later when I leave, and I only just remember to pull on the hoodie. I suck in great lungfuls of air and check my phone.
I switched it off while I was inside, and the messages have gone mad. I’ll take a guess and say the news has hit the airwaves.
My sister’s message is short and to the point. “How long have you known you were leaving? I can’t believe you didn’t tell us. Give me a call.”
She sounds completely pissed off.
I slouch in the shadows, and since I’m not in the mood to talk, I text her.
Her reply is swift.
It’s not a request, it’s an order, and I’m a little narked. Obviously I was going to tell Dad. What does she take me for?
An idiot.
Except I’m not. My irritation fades. Mac wasn’t implying that. It’s just the way she is, trying to look out for Dad because, left to his own devices, he’d vanish into his own world.
A bit like Harry before Alice came along.
I text her back.
After leaving the hospital grounds, I catch a bus that’ll take me near to Bec’s, where I left my car. There’s someone else I need to tell face-to-face. I was going to wait until we met up later, but I have a better idea.
Violet’s always sharing funny shit about things that happen at work, but I’ve never been to Sycamore Lodge, and it’s time. I know how much she loves working there, but it’s only a temporary thing over the summer, so it’s not like it’ll be a huge career wrench to leave early.
What the hell am I thinking?
I always knew I wanted to keep seeing her when I moved to Madrid, but the longer we’re together, the less the thought of a long-distance relationship appeals. Sure, it’s working for Harry and Alice, but he can work around her schedule, whereas I’m locked into a contract and can’t disappear for a weekend getaway.
And it’s hardly convenient for Violet to fly over a couple of times a month. Things will be much easier for both of us if she moves in with me.
We can leave England together in a couple of weeks when the new season starts.
…
Violet
It’s so hard concentrating at work when all I can think about is Mum.
Why did she lie to me about feeling fine when we spoke on the phone on Saturday?
I know why. It’s because she didn’t want me stressing out when she was staying with Dad’s parents. They came back late Sunday, and I saw straight away she wasn’t right, even though she tried to hide it. And yesterday wasn’t a good day at all.
That’s two relapses within a month. She hasn’t been this sick in years. Dad and I were both on at her about it, and she promised if she isn’t back to normal by the end of the week, she’d go to the doctor about changing her meds.
She’s so stubborn. Why doesn’t she just go today?
My phone rings. It’s Dad, and my whole body goes icy. I can’t even answer it. I don’t want to know…
“Yes?” I croak, because the only thing worse than knowing, is not.
“Hi, Vi, I know you’re busy, but I wanted to let you know in case you haven’t seen the news.”
My heart stops slamming against my ribs, and I hitch in a wobbly breath. Whatever the problem is, it doesn’t have anything to do with Mum. “The news?”
“Yes. I’ve just heard. Lucas Carter’s transferring to Madrid for the new season. Did he tell you?”
It takes longer than it should for Dad’s words to make sense in my brain. “What?”
“He’s leaving United. He was probably contractually bound not to say anything. Anyway, I didn’t want you hearing it from anyone else.”
Lucas is leaving? The new season starts in a couple of weeks.
The words corkscrew through my mind, finally falling into some kind of order.
Lucas is leaving in two weeks. And he never breathed a word about it.
No strings. Whatever. It still hurts.
I clear my throat, as Dad’s waiting for my reply. “Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll see you later.”
Before he can say anything else, I cut the call, since I don’t want to talk about it. Sure, he’ll bring it up again tonight, but at least that gives me a few hours to process things and talk it through with Katie.
I’m supposed to be meeting Lucas later. We didn’t see each other yesterday, and it’s crazy how much I missed him. I suppose I’ll just have to act all breezy like it doesn’t matter, and it shouldn’t, but it does.
So much for not falling for him. I knew that wasn’t going to work right from the start, and every time we’ve been together since has just made my vow seem more ridiculous than ever.
An hour later, I’m getting ready to go off duty. I need to get back home so I can work a couple of hours on my VA job before I knuckle down on my next assignment for college. It’s not as easy as I imagined, keeping up with my studies when I’m seeing Lucas.
Make the most of it. Another two weeks and I’ll have all the time I need.
The door opens, and someone wearing dark jeans and hoodie comes in. Where the hell is Tristan? He’s supposed to be here by now. I don’t usually mind working a few extra minutes over time, even though I don’t get paid for it.
I don’t feel like doing that today, though.
And who is that? For some reason, he’s strangely familiar. It’s not until he’s on the other side of the desk that he looks up and slays me with his gorgeous smile.
“I didn’t recognize you.” Oh my God. Lucas Carter’s in the lobby of Sycamore Lodge. Not that anyone appears to notice him. I try to stay calm and professional, especially since he’s leaving soon and didn’t tell me. But it’s no good. Inside, I’m totally melting.
“That’s the idea. I’m incognito.”
“Why?” I lean over the desk so I can whisper, just in case someone might decide to eavesdrop. “Don’t you want to be seen in a place like this?”
He gives the lobby an exaggeratedly furtive glance, keeping his hood up. If anyone was looking at him, they’d be forgiven for thinking he was right dodgy.
“I’ve wanted to see where you worked. It’s just the way you told me.”
From the corner of my eye, I see Tristan saunter in, so I quickly make my escape and join Lucas the other side of the desk. I don’t take his arm or go in for a kiss, though. I mean, there’s obviously a reason he doesn’t want to be recognized.
It’s got nothing to do with my stupid wounded feelings.
“But not up to your usual standards.” Why did I say that? It sounds so snotty, especially since I know he isn’t like that at all. So why is he in disguise? Is there a paparazzo following him?
He sighs, and his smile falls away, leaving him looking oddly vulnerable. It only lasts for a second before he resumes his mask, and guilt pinches me.
I don’t want him wearing his public mask for me.
Bugger the press. And my pride. I slip my arm through his and give him a squeeze. I might wish that he’d taken the time to tell me about his transfer himself, but something’s off-kilter, and I bet it has nothing to do with his soaring career. “Is everything all right?”
“I didn’t know if you’d want to be seen with me here.”
My heart melts. And yes, that same heart is going to cry a river when he steps on the plane, but I can handle an amicable breakup, and the gutter press can go screw themselves.
“I don’t mind being seen with you anywhere.” And I mean it. Even if it’s for only two more weeks.
This time his smile is all for me, the one I’ve become used to seeing when we’re alone together, and my last hurt feelings about him not confiding his career plans with me die. “You’re so good for me.” He gives me a lingering kiss, and even though we’re in the middle of my workplace, I don’t want it to ever end.
“Ditto,” I whisper against his lips.
“I couldn’t wait until tonight. I needed to see you right now.”
How could any girl resist that line? Although I don’t think he’s flirting. There’s a strange, haunted expression in his eyes, even though it’s gone in a heartbeat. I didn’t imagine it.
We leave the Lodge and as the doors close behind us, I take a chance on my gut feeling. “What’s wrong?”
He pulls me into his arms, and for a few seconds we stand there, his jaw resting on top of my head, as he breathes in deep. Has his transfer fallen through? It doesn’t seem likely, but even if it had, why would he come to see me?
“There’s this little guy, Toby. I’ve known him for a few years. He’s a big fan.” Lucas gives a deep sigh that turns my heart inside out. Oh, heart, behave yourself… “He’s had a setback. I just came from the hospital.”
“I’m so sorry.” It sounds so inadequate, but what else can I say? “Is he going to be all right?”
“Not sure. His wish to meet Jax Kennedy and me was the first one Rainbow Star granted, so…” Lucas takes a shuddering breath. “We don’t have favorites, but he’s pretty special.”
Rainbow Star rings a bell, but I can’t quite place it, although it’s obviously a charity. I know Lucas gets involved in high profile fundraisers like Red Nose Day and things like that.
And he’s clearly involved even when the cameras aren’t around. My heart gives up the struggle and falls at his feet.
“I didn’t mean to lay that on you.” He pulls back, and his intense blue gaze touches my soul. “You’re so easy to talk to. Have I told you that before?”
He has, but I always thought it was just one of his lines, to make the girl he’s with feel special.
Until now.
“Yes.” My voice is soft. “But so are you.”
His slow grin dissolves the worry etched on his face, and it’s almost impossible to remind myself he’s leaving in a couple of weeks. I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want him to leave.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, something he’s done a couple of times before, and it’s unbelievably gentle and sexy all rolled up together. “I’m transferring to Madrid for the new season. That’s not going to be a problem for us, is it?”
I stare at him, speechless. Is he asking me if I’m up for a long distance relationship?
Am I?
“Um.” Jesus, Violet, stop being such a dork. But I literally never thought he’d ask such a thing, and my brain’s numb. How serious about me is he?
“It’s only a couple of hours on a plane.”
I hitch in a breath to try and kick start my brain. For someone like Lucas, hopping on a plane every weekend is probably no different than catching a taxi. And although I don’t want to spoil the rose-colored vision filling my mind, I can’t help thinking how the pounds will soon add up to something horrifically prohibitive.
Does he want us to be exclusive? Not that I haven’t been exclusive, and, to be honest, I don’t think he’s gone out with another girl during the last month. Not that I know for sure, but considering how often we’ve seen each other…
Am I jumping to conclusions?
“It’s not a problem.” I manage to squeeze out the words before he thinks I hate the idea. Because I don’t. I love it. I still can’t quite believe it and have no clue how I’ll ever afford it, especially once my shifts at Sycamore Lodge end. And that reminds me—what about my weekend shifts there? That’s where I make most of my money.
“Great.” He kisses me as though he’s sealing the deal, while I’m still floating on clouds and floundering with logistics. “Listen, about tonight. Do you mind if we go visit my dad first, before we go out? Mac and Harry’ll be there. And Alice. My sister’s totally pissed off with me, but she won’t rant if you’re there.”
He gives me his disarming smile that’s captivated half the football-loving world, and I couldn’t say no even if I wanted to. Not only does he want us to keep dating when he leaves England, he wants me to meet his dad.
This sure sounds serious to me.