| |
MEET ME BY THE daleth, his note had said. He didn’t sign it, but he didn’t need to, because only Asher slipped notes under the door when my father was out.
Normally, I loved this. I kept a jar of his previous notes beneath my bed—even if all they ever said were things like, Boaz got a new Gift that lets him put all kinds of senses on the skin. Fire. Insects. Worse. Just a warning, in case you come across him. Don’t let him touch you. Or, See if you can get me some Tradandar at the market for my new spell.
Today though, anxiety chased me around the small apartment no matter how fast I cooked and cleaned. I managed to finish my chores and slip out before my father ever came home.
By the time I reached the daleth in the last bits of golden light before the sun set, Asher had clearly been waiting a while. “I brought you honey cakes,” he said as I strode up the hill toward him. “But I ate them all.” Crumbs dusted his upper lip, stuck amidst the slight dark stubble growing there.
I turned away to look at the view and smiled a little despite myself. Shading my eyes, I waited for him to lead this conversation.
From this height, the whole capital city of Resh stretched out below, seemingly calm from a distance. The river Mem lazily split the city in two, winding off to the north. Up close, it was a roaring giant, but from here it was as thin as a string.
“I was just wondering,” he said, when I didn’t turn around or speak. “Are you going to tell me at some point... about your Gift? About why you kept it a secret?” He stepped in front of me, so that I couldn’t help but look at him. His brows lifted suspiciously. “Do you have other Gifts I should know about?”
I laughed. Shaking my head at him, I moved to sit on the grassy hill. “What a question,” I answered in the usual Jinni way of not answering at all, giving him half a smile. That would most likely make him think I did indeed have other Gifts.
I did not.
At least, none that had revealed themselves yet.
But just like the others, I wished I did. Didn’t all Jinn? Our abilities were everything: power, wealth, stability...
It might still be possible, I supposed, to have a latent Gift, not yet discovered. It happened sometimes.
At the very least, Asher wasn’t the only one attempting to learn spells and more permanent enchantments in his free time. Though, unlike him, I didn’t advertise the fact.
Accepting my non-answer, he simply shrugged and sat beside me, switching to a different question. “What exactly can you shift into? Can you look like other Jinn?” There was a hint of fear beneath his bravado. A slight tremor in his voice that he tried to hide with a laugh. “Can you become me?”
Instead of the landscape below, I saw the freckled face of the little boy from the human world. I shivered, knowing the answer, even without a mentor. I could shift into anyone or anything, as long as I had enough time to figure it out and enough energy to make the shift.
Part of me wanted to trust Asher, to open up about everything. Would he try to control me like my parents had constantly tried to manipulate each other? Like everyone else I’d known? Or could he be trusted?
“I don’t know,” I lied, finally. “I’m not sure if I’m that skilled.”
“Why don’t you work with a mentor and find out?” he asked, letting his arms hang over his knees as he played with a long strand of grass.
Back to that question.
“I can’t.” My voice came out almost in a whisper.
He waited patiently.
I ran a hand through the long grass between us. Sighing, I pulled my arms in to hug my bare legs. “People will want to exploit you,” I quoted my mother the day she’d left us. “It’s better when you don’t give them something to use.” Out of the corner of my eye, I tried to gauge his reaction.
He swung around to stare at me and scoffed. “That’s ridiculous. Why do you think we all spend time together? It’s not like any of us have a valuable Gift—” He caught himself, glancing at me. “None that we were aware of, at least. We are your friends, aren’t we?”
I nodded. He had a point.
Hesitating, I considered telling him more. One huge secret was already out, what would another hurt? It might be a relief.
I made myself turn to him and be far more honest than usual. “You’re right. We weren’t spending time with each other for our abilities. But, maybe you did still want something from me?” I leaned in closer, letting my eyes drift to his lips and then slowly back up to his red eyes, making myself as clear as I could without spelling it out.
He laughed. “So what if I did? Or do?” he added, with a wink. I didn’t dare move, staying slightly too close, feeling his breath on my face as he continued. “That doesn’t mean I’m ‘exploiting’ you. Unless, of course, you aren’t interested?”
I swallowed, heartbeat speeding up. He’d put me on the spot.
I should pull back. That’d be easier.
“That’s not it...” I said instead. I planned to add more, but couldn’t find any other words.
It seemed to be enough.
He leaned in, closing the remaining space between us. His lips brushed mine softly. “I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he said huskily against my mouth. “If anything, I want you to take advantage of me.”
I felt his grin more than saw it, but was too caught up in the kiss to answer.
He took the hint and stopped talking.
This wasn’t my first kiss, but it was the first that meant something. My whole body felt shimmery and light, as if I could turn into a butterfly just by sensation alone.
Was this what my mother meant when she said people used you? If it was, then she was wrong. It was worth the risk.
I kissed him back, tucking the thought away for later.
Pulling away unexpectedly, Asher whispered, “Show me what you can do?”
Eyes half-closed, it took me a moment to orient myself. I drew a breath to divert him again, then paused. The temptation to reveal my Gift to someone after hiding for so long tugged at me. Maybe just once? After all, he’d already seen it.
“Not here,” I found myself saying. I wasn’t about to let another Jinni accidentally discover my Gift again. Standing, I headed for the daleth, anxiety and excitement warring within me as I hurried toward it.
A glance over my shoulder assured me Asher followed, practically on my heels, and I slipped through the portal into the human world for the second time in as many days.
Again, it struck me how the other side was deceptively the same as ours. Green grass, tall trees, blue skies, and a gentle breeze, although the sun peeking through the clouds was smaller from this vantage point. During the day, we might never have discovered the town, without the lights drawing us toward it.
This time, we instinctively moved through the trees in the opposite direction, putting distance between us and the humans. Keeping secrets was in our blood.
“What do you want me to be?” I asked over my shoulder as we went, inexplicably shy.
“You mean who?”
“I haven’t tried shifting into another Jinn,” I admitted, studying my toes as we walked. “But I can be any animal you can think of—at least, I haven’t found any limits yet.”
“If you can shift into animals, then you can shift into people too,” he declared, as if everyone knew that.
I hadn’t.
“How do you know so much?” I asked suspiciously.
He shrugged. “I don’t just read books about spells and enchantments. There are all kinds of fascinating topics you can read about. If you don’t want a mentor, the least you could do is pick up a book about Gifts like yours.”
Of course I want a mentor, I retorted inwardly. But I only murmured, “I didn’t know they existed.”
Waving his hands excitedly, Asher nodded. “There are at least three different types of shifters. I’ve read all about them. If you could only become one animal, that’d mean that most likely, you’re limited to that specific form and your Jinni form, and that’s it. But if you already know you can shift into any creature, then the other forms you could take are basically endless. You could become a Jinni or a human—literally anyone!”
Anyone? My eyes widened at the possibilities.
I shook my head, taking a slight step back. “No,” I whispered. “I could never try that.” That would be outright asking for someone to discover my Gift. It’d also give them immediate cause for a Severance. Impersonation wasn’t taken lightly in Jinn.
Still... Asher’s revelations left me feeling light-headed with newfound power. No wonder shape-shifters were feared. I could go anywhere, be anyone.
A small smile crept over my face. I could pretend to be the queen. Or one of the fancy ladies who will most likely end up marrying the prince. Shaking my head, I laughed away the idea. I wouldn’t mind being anyone else, if it would take me away from my father.
My smile faded.
No. It’s not realistic. Changing the outward appearance was only one small aspect of a person. Pretending to be someone else would come with a million other details, such as voice and memories—not to mention dealing with the real person. Because who would willingly let someone impersonate them? No, no one could get away with that.
Asher had trailed off at my expression. “Fine,” he said with a sigh. “I admit it. I don’t know anything else. The book only had a couple paragraphs on shape-shifting before it moved on to another Gift. But you do know how unusual this is, don’t you? I haven’t met a shape-shifter—especially not one with your range of skills—in... well, ever.”
“My mother was the strongest kind of shifter too,” I whispered. Neither my father or I had ever told anyone that since before she disappeared. It was her secret. When asked about his legs, my father would always say he’d offended a powerful Jinni who’d cursed him and leave it at that.
Asher stopped in a small clearing, whirling to face me. “Was she the one that changed him?”
The worry on his face made me lie without thinking. “No, of course not. She wouldn’t break the Unbreakable Laws like that.”
He mimed wiping his brow in relief and smiled, then straightened suddenly. “If you both have the same Gift, did she teach you anything before she left?”
I shook my head. The disappointment when I thought of her stole my voice for a minute. “I’ve had to teach myself,” I repeated, souring more each time he made me say so.
Biting his lip, he swung around to sit on a fallen log at the edge of the circle. “Show me your favorite shift?” He carefully made it a question.
I swallowed hard and nodded.