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NO! I SCREAMED INTERNALLY. Why is he here?
I couldn’t speak.
We stared at each other across the short distance. He kept glancing at Asher, who stood behind me, and then back to me.
He’d seen everything.
I opened my mouth to call him over.
His eyes flew wide in alarm, and he flashed away before I could say a word.
“Simon!” I yelled, not sure if he’d just traveled out of sight or if he was truly gone. “Simon, come back! I won’t hurt you!”
“It’s true, Simon!” Asher yelled too, as we each swiveled around, trying to spot him if he reappeared somewhere nearby. “She has to touch you to do anything. You’re safe!”
As far as we know, I thought harshly. But I’d make an exception for idiot, if I knew how.
There was no response.
He must’ve truly left then.
My heart sank. Did he go back through the daleth? Is he telling everyone? Did he really see everything? Ice filled my veins. Even if he’d only caught the last few seconds, it was enough.
For the second time in less than an hour, I feared the worst: I’d return home to find my father had disowned me, my friends would all fear me, and the Jinni Guard would press me into forced service with the threat of being watched closely for my too-strong Gift. Or, more likely, they’d just go straight to a Severance.
“This is all your fault!” I whirled on Asher. “You told him we were here!”
It was only a guess, but he couldn’t hide the guilt that crossed his face. “I’ve been meeting him here every afternoon because you refused to come,” he protested. “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell him not to come today! I tried to warn you that I smelled him as you changed me back, but it was too late.” Despite everything falling apart around me, he had the audacity to grin. “That change was so incredible! I never would’ve imagined!”
Crossing my arms, I strode away, furious with myself for continuing to trust this stupid boy who’d taken advantage of me.
Asher caught up to me, apparently realizing he wasn’t quite forgiven. “Bel, I truly am sorry. You have to believe me. Normally he and I meet on the other side of the daleth anyway; I never would’ve expected him to come to the human side without me. Still, it’s my fault. We should’ve gone farther in to be safe. I wish I could go back in time and stop it. If I had a Gift as powerful as yours, I would. I’ll—”
I stopped at the edge of the tree line, throwing my head back, eyes squeezed shut. “Stop.” The ferocity had drained from me, turning to a quiet despair instead. My life was over. “I know you didn’t mean to. What’s done is done.”
For once, Asher listened. We stood silently for a long moment. Birds chattered to each other above us, and the wind tried to play with my hair. I barely noticed.
Eventually, I began walking again, slower this time. Simon had likely told a dozen Jinn by now.
We reached the bit of ribbon that marked the portal. It fluttered in the wind, like a white flag of surrender, growing closer with each step. Part of me was tempted to stay in the human world. It was dingy and savage, but at least no one could abuse me or my Gifts here.
Not for the first time, I wondered if that’s exactly what my mother had done when she’d left years ago.
Without warning, Simon appeared through the portal a dozen paces ahead. On his heels were Miriam and Phillipa. All three of them stared at me as if I’d grown horns on my head.
My hand lifted of its own volition to check. I stopped it halfway to my head when they flinched, dropping it back to my side.
He’d told them.
The weight of discovery that’d sat on my chest for months had finally lifted, but instead of relief, despair flooded in, filling my lungs until I couldn’t seem to breathe.
All four of my friends knew my secret.
They stood tense, almost crouched, ready to spring away from me.
As if I were a Lacklore. Or a human.
Instead of trying to explain my Gift to them or calm them down, I sucked in a painful breath. And then burst into tears.
Hurriedly, I turned my back on them, covering my face.
I couldn’t stop once I’d started. Each thought washing over me just made me cry harder.
They hate me now.
I swiped roughly at my cheeks, as tears continued to flow over them.
I’ll never be the same in their eyes.
I choked on a sob.
This is just a small taste of what it’ll be like to go home.
It crushed me.
Even a Severance couldn’t be worse than this.
Asher came to my side, trying to put his arm around my shoulders, but I shrugged him off.
I blamed him for this. If not for him and his pressuring, I could’ve gone on the way I was for many more years, if not forever.
He sighed, but it didn’t sound regretful. More like he found my reaction overly dramatic.
I didn’t take my hands from my face, unwilling to let any of them see my lack of control.
When his shadow faded away, though, I wanted to call him back. I used the edge of my sleeve to wipe my cheeks.
Soft whispers floated toward me from him and the others, but I couldn’t make anything out.
Shamelessly, I transformed the inner workings of my ears to be as sharp as an owl, allowing me to listen in without turning around or coming near them. It took longer than a full shift, as I had to figure out how to match the changes to the rest of my body, but focusing on the details helped calm me a little.
“—like I said, she doesn’t want to tell anyone.”
“Obviously.” Simon scoffed, although with my attuned hearing I noticed his voice shook a little. “But Miriam and Phillipa have a right to know. And so do I.” His voice grew loud enough that I would’ve heard it even with regular hearing, no doubt his intent. “She should’ve told us.”
As I listened, a tiny spark of hope rose. Did that mean he hadn’t told anyone else? Just the girls?
I changed my hearing back to normal as I dried the lingering tears and turned to face them. “Have you forgotten what my father is like?” I’d meant to put some force behind the words, but they were as dry and brittle as an old, fallen leaf. “You can’t tell anyone.” And though it hurt me to beg, I added softly, “Please.”
Grudgingly, Simon crossed his arms and shrugged. “I haven’t told on you yet, have I?”
That was the confirmation I’d so desperately needed. Despite myself, my shoulders sagged in relief. Still, I gestured silently toward Miriam and Phillipa. They remained close to the daleth—to their escape route—though they’d ceased to look scared of me. More curious really.
Simon scowled. “Like I said, they have the right to know. We all should know who we’re spending our time with.”
Pursing my lips, I shook my head, hating how much this was out of my hands. “We’ll agree to choose conflict, then,” I ended the disagreement the way Jinn were often forced to.
Phillipa, always the peacemaker, stepped between us, drawing our attention away from each other. “Simon says you turned Asher into a beast? Can you do all manner of shape-shifting?”
I told them only what Asher already knew, and no more. Whenever I tried to hold back, he would fill in the blanks in excitement, either not catching my darting glances or disregarding them.
“Lovely.” Miriam’s eyes narrowed on my face. “So, if I understand correctly, you’re one of the most powerful Jinn to ever exist and have been laughing at us poor, incompetent fools behind our backs all this time.”
“No!” I was quick to argue, though part of me perked up at the backhanded compliment. Most powerful? Am I? Is that why Asher won’t leave my side? Out loud I only said, “I would never laugh at you. You are all my friends.”
Though Miriam only crossed her arms, mimicking Simon’s discomfort, Phillipa smiled and moved toward me, taking my hand before facing the others. “It’d be good to have a powerful friend,” she said to me, though her tone said it was really to the others. “I, for one, am very pleased.”
I squeezed her hand gratefully. The tears threatened again, and I had to blink to hold them back. Until now, I hadn’t realized how much their friendship meant to me. But did I truly still have it? Miriam and Simon both still stood apart and aloof.
Asher spoke up, “As Simon saw, Bel can change us as well as herself. I don’t think any of you realize how valuable this is.” He turned to me. “Even you, Bel. You’re still treating it like a curse, instead of the Gift it is.”
Standing there with half of my friends judging me, I only scowled at him and muttered under my breath, “If you had it, you wouldn’t be so quick to say that.”
Even as I said it, I knew that was a lie.
He would’ve embraced it to the fullest. I had the one thing he’d always wanted desperately: real power.
“Think about it,” he said over me, excitedly waving us closer.
We reluctantly obeyed.
“As we all can imagine, an animal is a fun shift. Useful too, such as for hiding from say, someone with a bad temper, for example...” He didn’t look in my direction, but he left a long pause as if waiting for me to jump in and agree.
I refused to respond.
“But the changes don’t have to be so drastic,” he continued without missing a beat. “You could also shape-shift one of us to be taller or more handsome.” He paused again for dramatic effect, letting them envision the little changes everyone wanted. I didn’t need to imagine. Did he know I’d already tried this?
Glancing around at each of us, Asher’s gaze landed on me with a grin. “You could shape-shift into one of the Jinni Guards.” Phillipa gasped, and Miriam shook her head. “Or even a royal.” Simon crossed his arms, tensing even more, if that was possible. But Asher still wasn’t done. “Better yet—you could change the royals themselves.”
My jaw dropped.
Until Asher, I’d never allowed myself to consider what I could do to someone else, much less something as specific as that.
Transforming into someone else wasn’t truly that useful though. Since I’d never met Prince Shem in person—very few in my social standing ever had—I doubted very much I could actually duplicate his exact features—or anyone else in the royal family—based on a mere image from a coin or piece of paper.
Still... I reconsidered the idea. I had in fact already transformed into someone else—into a human, no less—our first night here in the human world. That had been terrifying in the moment—but I could see how useful it might be.
Their eyes were on me, waiting for my reaction. But Asher had revealed enough of my secrets for one day. I needed to think things over on my own before anything else was shared.
“My father will be expecting me,” I used the worn-out excuse gratefully. “We can talk more later, if we must. I have to go.”
“Come on, Bel,” Asher pressed, stepping up to me, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?”
I nodded, and when he ushered all of us back through the daleth, he said in a firm tone, “We’ll meet here again tomorrow evening.”
I wondered if I really had a choice anymore.