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ANY OTHER NIGHT, I would’ve gone to stay with one of my friends. Regret stung my conscience when I remembered that wasn’t an option anymore. Even if I’d had somewhere to go, I couldn’t leave them behind. They were sealing the daleth tomorrow. My window of opportunity was closing. I had to get those two little jars, as well as the reward money I’d hidden in the drawer, before I could leave for good. I’d go somewhere far from here. Use my Gift to disappear.
For any of that to happen though, I had to first go through this door in front of me.
Inspiration struck. My father was afraid of Hanna. If she offered him the apple, he’d take it. With a quick glance around to make sure I was alone in the hall, I shifted.
Wringing my hands, I glanced around to make sure I was still alone as I stopped to quickly consider all the possibilities.
As long as Hanna was telling the truth about the sleeping potion—and as long as my father took it—that would give me enough time to get inside, pack my things, and get out.
But if, for some reason, things didn’t go according to plan, I could take my leave and try to come back in the morning after he left for work.
No. I closed my eyes and rubbed at the ache beginning to form along the back of my neck. That just extends the risk into the morning. Leaving me with no money, and nowhere to go. I might miss meeting Shem if I was late, and then not be allowed to enter the human world at all.
I had to act now.
After one final scan of the hall, I made a hurried decision and cleared my throat. Humming softly to myself, I experimented with changes in my vocal chords until my voice deepened and warbled like Hanna’s. I knocked.
Stomping hoofbeats signaled my father coming to the door. When he opened it, I tried not to flinch at his frown. “Hanna? Back so soon?” He leaned out to peer down the hall in both directions. “Is Jezebel still with you? Is she causing trouble?”
“I sent Jezebel out on an errand,” I lied, choosing my words carefully. The voice wasn’t quite right, but hopefully it was close enough. I added a bit of a rasp. “I apologize for the intrusion, but Jezebel reminded me it’s been a while since I did an inspection. She asked me to take a look at the window in her room in particular. Something about a draft.”
“Did she,” he asked in a barely contained growl, crossing his arms. As long as he was angry at his daughter instead of his property-owner, that’s all that mattered.
“I brought a gift as a consolation for the late hour.” Holding up the basket of apples, I gestured toward the kitchen. “May I?”
He blinked, caught by surprise, and I took advantage of it, entering without permission and setting the basket down on the kitchen table.
Irritation flared in his eyes. He slowly closed the door, where he still stood. “You want to do the inspection now? In the middle of the night?”
“It’ll only take a moment,” I said, hoping my imitation of Hanna’s voice would hold up.
As his eyes drifted to the basket of apples, I gave up trying to find a convincing reason for him to eat one that didn’t sound strange. Instead, I just plucked the shiny one off the top and offered it to him. “Apple?”
He took it, but didn’t bring it to his mouth.
Tottering toward my room before he could ask more questions, I said over my shoulder. “This is your daughter’s room?”
He stepped in my path, looming over me, with a suspicious glint in his eye. “Perhaps you can come back in the morning.”
I stepped around him, pretending that my heart wasn’t pounding so loud that I could hear it in my ears. “I’ll just be a moment. Have an apple while you wait.” Just take a bite, I urged him silently, thankful that my back was to him so he couldn’t see the panic starting to rise in my eyes.
But his hand caught the doorknob before mine could. “I’ll take care of the draft Jezebel mentioned,” he said with a false smile and a firm tone that I knew from experience meant he wouldn’t budge. “I’m sure it’s a simple a fix.”
The apple dangled uselessly by his side, bruising a bit from his grip.
Though I was tempted to step back, I stood my ground.
You can either avoid him or face him, but your problem isn’t going to disappear on its own, Hanna’s words came back to me as I stared up at him.
I can’t do it...
As the silence stretched, I almost walked back out as Hanna. But I was so close. I just needed one more minute to pack my bag. If I didn’t deal with this now, I’d lose my chance to change things for the better.
He won’t tell anyone, I told myself. He had a thousand chances to turn my mother in, and never said a word. He’s too ashamed of our secrets.
I didn’t know what I’d do if I was wrong.
No. I’m not wrong. He’d been afraid of my mother, and once I revealed myself, he’d be afraid of me. Obviously, he’d disinherit me immediately. Make me pack my things and go. But that’s what I was planning to do anyway.
I couldn’t think of any other option.
Though it was the last thing I wanted, I’d tried everything else. It was time to face him.
He was frowning at me.
I made my decision.
I’d face him if I had to, but first I’d give myself one last chance to sneak around him.
Instead of pushing past him as Hanna—or as myself—instead I shifted into my favorite form.
The little lizard.
I made the change so fast that I dropped to the ground on silent clawed feet, and his eyes didn’t immediately follow.
Scurrying through the gap underneath my bedroom door before he spotted me, I shifted again the moment I was on the other side.
If I was lucky, he’d think Hanna had somehow found a loophole in the acropolis enchantment that allowed her to travel.
A wave of dizziness came over me from the reckless speed.
I shook it off and lurched toward the bed, tiptoeing so my father wouldn’t discover where I’d disappeared to.
I wanted to go back to Hanna and hug her.
Someday, if I ever had a daughter, I’d name her after the old hag as a thank you.
I should’ve stood up to my father a long time ago.
Yanking my small bag out from underneath the bed, with the jars containing my friends already inside, it only took a few seconds to dump the contents of my top drawer in as well. The little coin purse that I’d hidden in the back of the drawer clinked softly as it fell.
I froze.
The door swung inward and slammed against the wall so hard that the plaster cracked.
My father loomed in the doorway, taking in my transformation with widening eyes. His face grew paler than our dirty, white walls. “I should’ve known,” he whispered.
I pulled the bag over my shoulder and raised my chin, glaring at him.
Astonishment kept him paralyzed. Maybe a little bit of fear as well. Thanks to mother, I thought. And those legs. But that might not last long.
I needed to get past him.
Unfortunately, my last trick wouldn’t work while carrying my bag. And I couldn’t leave it behind.
Time to face him, I told myself, squeezing the strap on the bag to hide the way my hands trembled.
His own hands clamped down on the apple so hard that it crunched as he broke the skin.
He tossed it in the corner and took a step toward me.
The shock hadn’t lasted as long as I’d hoped. Fear washed over me like a sickening wave, making it hard to think straight.
“You’re just as vile as your mother.” He sneered, taking another slow step, arms lifting to block any attempts to run. “You’ve had her curse all this time.”
He was moving in on me like a dangerous animal.
I staggered backward without thinking and nearly tripped over the bag on the floor where I’d accidentally dropped it.
He followed.
“I should turn you in,” he said, as he took one slow step toward me after another.
No, I wanted to cry. You wouldn’t. But I didn’t really know what he’d do anymore.
I moved around the bed, slowly backing into the corner, heart racing.
Panic blurred all rational thought. I should’ve gone out the window before he’d blocked it—but then I’d have had to leave my bag behind. I shouldn’t have backed up and given him the power—but my feet had moved of their own volition.
He stopped suddenly, pointing down at his hooves, “Change these back, and I’ll consider letting you go.”
I’ll consider... Ha! I knew better than to believe that.
His words sunk in. Change these back.
He wanted me to shift him.
I could shift him. Not just his legs... him. I had the power in this situation. If he pushed me, I could turn him into anything I wanted. And he knew that.
Another step, and he was close enough that his foul breath washed over me. He swayed slightly, but his eyes never left my face.
“No,” I whispered.
It might as well have been a shout.
“Then it’s time I do what I should’ve done years ago.” He lunged.
I froze.
I couldn’t help it.
Instead of stopping him like I had with Asher, I panicked, and my body stiffened for just a moment too long—it was all the time he needed to seize my wrists.
Ice cold terror flooded my body. He knows I need my hands to shift him.
Too late, I reacted, throwing my whole body into the struggle, kicking and bucking, trying to get some contact with his skin. Even just one finger could be enough.
He was too big.
And he knew what I was trying to do.
“The Guard will reward me handsomely for exposing an undisclosed shapeshifter,” he got out, breathing hard, as he dragged me out of my room by my arms. “They might let you live,” he chuckled darkly. “Might even let you keep your Gift. But I doubt it.” He knew as well as I did that a Severance of a Gift was as good as death. Jinn who lost their Gifts lost their will to live.
My struggle grew weaker. I’d been wrong in thinking he wouldn’t turn me in.
Trust had betrayed me once again. But there was still time—this wasn’t over yet.
I reacted instinctively.
One moment, I’d been pulling away in fear; the next, I cut off the emotion and saw what I had to do with perfect clarity.
I shifted my fingers into sharp claws that matched those on the Lacklore hide chair behind us and suddenly stopped struggling. Using his own momentum, I was yanked toward him, not able to aim, just hoping to get close enough to cut. Curved and wicked, the claws sliced across his stomach without warning.
He shrieked in pain, blood dripping from the three long gashes that’d cut through his clothing and into the skin beneath, and let go.
With my hands freed, I shifted my fingers back and wrapped them around his wrist.
One moment, his large hands, dripping blood, were trying to jerk away from me.
The next, his entire body could fit in one of those hands. He landed on the floor with a tiny thunk. Dizzily, he tried to run.
I caught him by one of his tiny clawed feet.
Standing there, holding him, I tried to catch my breath. It came out in ragged gasps.
I hadn’t wanted to do this. It didn’t matter though. Once again, I was left with no choice.
Even if I’d wanted to bring him back, I couldn’t. He’d said it himself. He’d turn me in to the Jinni Guard immediately.
Holding up his tiny form, I whispered down at him, “You should’ve taken the apple.”
***
THOUGH I BROUGHT MY bag along the next morning, with the glass jar that held all my lizard friends hidden inside, Shem would not leave my side long enough for me to do anything with it.
This was the last day that the portal would be open. Ever since I’d shared its existence with the royal family, it’d been guarded. And every time I’d been allowed to cross over to the human side, I’d been with the prince the entire time. I wouldn’t have changed that for anything, but now—there wasn’t time for this kind of interference!
“I don’t want you to face this alone,” Shem said softly at the start of the day.
I tried not to flinch at the reminder of just how alone I truly was and smiled my thanks. The tension in my shoulder blades and neck grew painful enough to cause a splitting headache.
As the day passed, we ate fruit and cheese from the castle and waited for the guards to return from their final search. Today, we didn’t stray far from the daleth, keeping it and the hilltop town within eyesight as we picnicked.
When Shem asked why I’d brought my bag, I said, “It’s for good luck, I guess...” I slipped my hand inside without opening the flap, pulling out one of my gold armbands that I’d included for this exact reason. “Just some of their things in case we find them today.”
That was enough to keep him from asking more. But not enough to distract him from his mission. Shem fastened himself to my side, determined to be there when I broke down.
I considered faking it, then brushed the idea aside. By the end of the day though, I could hardly think, much less answer Shem’s persistent questions.
Fortunately, he interpreted that as anxiety over my lost friends.
Still, when Eliezer gave his evening report to Shem, I asked them for one more hour. “Please,” I begged, pressing a hand to my face where I’d managed to summon a sheen of tears. “A little bit longer. Just in case?”
Shem was quick to agree.
I waited until he’d sent the guards out again before I pretended to panic, whirling to face him. “Have they checked the human towns thoroughly? Because Asher was bragging about trying to take a human captive, but...” I paused to shrug delicately. “The truth is, he’s Giftless. Do you think there’s a chance the humans took him hostage instead?”
“It’s doubtful,” Shem said, pursing his lips, though his eyes strayed to the town. “They’ve done quite a few searches in that vicinity already without disturbing the human life in the area. I hate to disappoint you...”
“I understand.” I put a hand on his arm, lowering my gaze. “Would you consider asking Eliezer to check just once more, for my sake? Please?”
Again, the prince was as moldable as if I’d shape-shifted him myself. “Of course. That’s the least I can do. I’ll catch up with Eliezer and ask. Be back in a moment.”
The instant he left, I strode a dozen paces to make tracking me more difficult, and traveled as well, multiple times, to the farthest place I could think of: the rainforest we’d explored the day before.
Kneeling next to a moss-covered fallen tree, I opened my bag and pulled out the jar, lifting the lid and pouring out the lizards inside onto the wide log.
“You’re free,” I whispered, feeling as lost as they looked.
Asher and Simon blended into the moss easily, and with a simple touch, I shifted the vibrant pinks, oranges, and yellows of Miriam’s and Phillipa’s scales to green as well.
“This will help you hide from any predators,” I said softly, though no one else was listening. I didn’t need to understand them to know what they were thinking. “You can never return to your true forms. I’m sorry, but you’ve forced my hand in this.”
My grief was real for once, and I had to look away at the foliage around us as I struggled with guilt. “I wish I could trust you. But you’d only continue to use my Gifts or turn me in. Maybe both. I hope someday you’ll understand that you did this to yourselves.”
Phillipa and Miriam’s tongues flicked out furiously. “Yes, including you,” I snapped. “Don’t you remember? You made me use my Gift to change your appearance. More than once. What would you have done if I’d said no?” I crossed my arms, looking away. “We all know how this would’ve ended.”
Why couldn’t they have just accepted me? Treated me like anyone else? It wasn’t fair. I hadn’t wanted any of this. They’d forced my hand. And I hated them for it.
“This is your fault,” I repeated for emphasis, wanting it to be clear. “All of yours. Not mine.”
If I could go back, I don’t know what I’d have done differently. It was their choices that had led us here.
I shook my head and finally, reluctantly, turned to the fifth lizard.
The one I’d added last night.
My father.