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I’D CARRIED HIM WITH the others throughout the day up until this moment.
I stared down at him now where he crouched, stiff and frozen, apart from them, tongue flicking wildly, probably trying to scream at me.
He didn’t blend into the foliage like my former friends; I stared down at him, considering.
“I should’ve known it would end this way,” I whispered to him. “After all, my mother left me all the signs. She knew what you deserved.”
He reared up on his back legs, perhaps trying to appear larger and more intimidating. It only emphasized how small and weak he truly was. How weak he’d always been, really.
I should’ve stood up to him a long time ago.
He’d tried to make me small my whole life, when the truth was, I’d had this power over him all along. I was more powerful than anyone I knew. And I would never give that up again.
“Let’s see how you like it,” I murmured, bending until I was at his eye level. “When you’re not the strongest anymore. When you have to trust someone else will treat you right.”
He only bared his tiny teeth at me.
Trust. I’d trusted others not to use me, but that’d been a mistake. I wouldn’t make it again. In fact, I’d go out of my way to avoid it.
In the end, I left his coloring a vibrant red.
Though I’d barely been gone five minutes, I returned to find Shem pacing. His hair stood at odd ends, as if he’d run his hands through it multiple times. Had something happened? He couldn’t be this concerned over my absence alone...
“Where were you?” he called, running toward me, scanning my body as he approached. “I was frantic!”
“You were worried for me?” I processed the words. “Truly?”
“Of course!” he said, shaking his head as if it should be obvious. “I thought we’d lost you as well.” Ah, he didn’t want another missing Jinni on his record. Disappointment stung unexpectedly. When had I started to care this much?
Shem reached out and lightly touched my arm, drawing my attention back to him. “I was terrified. I don’t know what I would’ve done.” He pulled back, but held my gaze, looking unusually vulnerable. “We’ve spent... quite a bit of time together. I’ve grown rather fond of your company.”
I struggled not to read into it or hope for too much. Fond of my company. It could mean a lot...Or it could mean very little.
Instead of answering, I reached into my bag, pulling out a large pink flower that faded into a soft orange center. Biting my lip, I held it up to show him. “I just wanted a little keepsake from our time here,” I said, dipping my head to hide my eyes and any impossible feelings that might show through. I snuck a glance at him through my lashes because I couldn’t help myself. “I should’ve told you, but I worried you’d think it was silly.”
He touched the soft petal of the flower, smiling easily as he blew out a breath of relief. “I don’t think that’s silly at all.”
“Good,” I said, trying to fight the butterflies in my stomach into submission. I reached into my bag again to pull out a second flower, unable to look at him this time as I held it out. “Because I picked one for you too.” I couldn’t hide the blush on my cheeks.
His fingers brushed mine as he accepted it. “I should’ve known you’d have a purpose for leaving,” he said. Startled, I glanced up to find him twirling the large flower in his hand, studying it. “You always know what you want.”
What if I want you? came my traitorous thought. “Knowing what I want and actually getting it are two different things,” I answered cryptically, aiming for a lighthearted tone that wouldn’t betray my gloomier thoughts.
He considered me, raising one brow with a hint of a smile. “I’d guess that you probably get most things you want as well.”
I didn’t know how to answer that.
Thankfully, the Jinni Guard began to return one by one, pretending not to see the way their prince stared at the lowly Jinni girl. I tried to pretend too. It might not mean anything. But what if it did?
Once we were all there, we returned to Jinn through the daleth, and the Guard began the slow process of sealing it shut.
Permanently.
The others would never be able to get home. Never be able to take advantage of me again, or tell anyone my secrets.
A small pang of guilt reminded me there was also no taking this back. No changing my mind.
Once the portal was sealed, that was it.
“I’m so sorry we didn’t find your friends,” Shem said, putting an arm around my shoulder—not to lead me anywhere this time, but simply for comfort.
I blinked back real tears, though I probably could’ve let them fall. Clearing my throat, I said softly, “I’m sorry they ever found that awful daleth in the first place.”
I meant it. Even though they’d done this to themselves—even though I wouldn’t change anything I’d done—I would still miss them. Most of all, I’d miss the way things used to be. Without them and with my father gone as well, I was truly alone.
Taking my first deep breath in weeks, I wondered why I didn’t feel better. No one was hounding me anymore. If I had anything to say about it, no one would control me ever again.
It was unexpectedly lonely.
Leaning into Shem slightly, I imagined that he also held me a little tighter. Then, I sighed. Pulling away, I forced myself to let go of him. I shouldn’t let my imagination run wild.
Better to be alone and accept it, than to hope for love from the wrong person again.
When Shem also sighed softly, I tried to ignore the sound. It doesn’t mean anything, I told my treacherous heart. And then, when that didn’t work, I envisioned dropping my heart in a glass jar just like the ones I’d used for the lizards and sealing it in with a lid.
Down the hill, the Jinni Guards standing in front of the daleth stepped back a bit.
The space between the trees began to glow white, growing brighter until I had to squint.
As the guards continued to chant too quietly for us to hear from where we stood, the glow outlined the invisible portal, making its full size and scope clear.
Eyes stinging, I was about to look away when the glow snapped together and vanished.
All at once, the trees on each side seemed lifeless and dull. We waited anxiously as the first guard stepped through the unremarkable space between the trees, followed by the others. They tested every speck of the former portal to be certain it was gone.
No one disappeared.
All four members of the Jinni Guard stepped back as one from the now insignificant spot, signaling that they were finished sealing the portal. They turned to walk up the hill toward us.
This would be the last time I’d see Shem.
On a whim, I blurted out, “Is there any chance you have other portals you need help sealing? Or... searching for...?” I trailed off, realizing I hadn’t actually done either of those things. Technically, my presence had been completely unnecessary after day one.
“Now that you mention it, I believe there might be.” His wink gave me little flutters of excitement in my belly. “Perhaps I can call on you and your father soon with a new assignment?”
I stiffened.
“What is it?” he asked, stepping closer and daring to reach out and tilt my chin up, until I met his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Once more, I called up tears, letting them hover right on the edge of overflowing. I’d gotten quite practiced at this particular skill. All I had to do was think of all the things that’d gone wrong. “My father’s gone. He left me and made it clear he wasn’t coming back.”
Shem frowned in confusion. “It’s almost unheard of for a Jinni father to abandon his children. Did he give a reason? Or a clarification on when he’d return? Or... any explanation at all?”
“No...” I searched for the right words. I didn’t want to lie to him if I didn’t have to. “If you were to ask around or send your guards to inquire for you, I promise you it wouldn’t take much searching to discover that’s exactly the kind of father I have.”
A vision of a bright red lizard on a mossy log flashed across my eyes, but I blinked it away.
“No need,” Shem said softly. “I believe you.” After a quiet moment passed, he added in a lighter tone. “My guards vetted your family weeks ago anyway.”
Startled, I laughed.
He spread his hands wide and shrugged. “It’s a requirement before I’m allowed to spend time alone with someone, as I’m sure you can understand.”
“Of course. I’d expect nothing less.” I was extremely thankful that I hadn’t lied. At least, not about that.
“What will you do now?” he asked when I didn’t say anything further.
I had the reward money to cover expenses for at least a few more months. That should give me time to find a smaller, more affordable place to live.
I didn’t say that though.
Giving him a sad smile, I just shrugged. “I’m on my own. I may not have my home for much longer, so I’m not certain. But as long as I’m still there, I’m at your service.”
“Leave us,” Shem said in response, waving at the guards who’d just reached us, not breaking my gaze.
The guards didn’t actually leave, but they did travel a good fifty paces away to keep watch over their prince from a distance instead, giving him the privacy he’d requested.
To me, the prince said more gently, “I can’t imagine why your father would leave. But I hate to think of you alone.” He lifted my hand, pressing his other hand over it. An intimate gesture. Wasn’t it? I didn’t know him well enough to be sure. “Come back with me to the castle for the day,” he continued. “We can introduce you to some people, and I can ask around to see if there are any open positions...”
It was more than I’d dared to hope for. Of course, every girl in Jinn wanted to spend time with the prince, including me—but now, I wanted to spend time with Shem. With my friend. Even if that was all we were, even if I wanted more. His friendship was all I had left. “Are you certain?”
“Very.” He grinned.
Summoning the guards to return, he told them, “Bring Jezebel with us.”
“Your Highness?” Eliezer said, glancing at me with a slight frown.
“Let’s go,” Shem replied. “We have a shivah to plan in memory of the lost children of Jinn.”
Ignoring the pang of guilt and the rudeness of the guards, I took Shem’s hand with my chin held high. He wanted me with him. It might only be for the day, but I’d savor every minute.
The guards didn’t question him further, and within seconds, they traveled us back to the castle gates.
Just like the acropolis, enchantments surrounded the structure, preventing traveling across the castle walls. That left only a select few carefully guarded entrances.
In the company of the prince, we swept through immediately, passing everyone waiting in line.
A thrill of second-hand power swept through me. The taste of what it must it be like to be in the royal family made me crave more. Just like the last time I’d been here, I imagined them as the puppet masters with everyone else doing their bidding. No one pulled their strings.
The gleaming white stones of the castle walls rose above us, with light blue turrets that looked like pointy hats, and lavender flowers stretched out in all directions around the castle, like a purple ocean.
Last time I’d been here, I’d been brought in through what I now realized was just a side entrance. This time we used an enormous set of double doors and entered a huge receiving room full of Jinn.
They all turned to stare. Not just at the prince, but at me as well. Above us, the ceiling rose a stunning four levels high, allowing a glimpse of balconies on the second, third, and fourth floors, which were also sprinkled with onlookers.
Craning my neck back, my jaw dropped at the giant shimmering chandelier that, if it fell, could’ve easily crushed multiple Jinn. Someone tittered. My teeth came together with an audible click. A furious blush rose so fast, I couldn’t manage to keep it back completely, which only made my cheeks burn hotter.
I might not belong here, but they didn’t need to know that. I kept my gaze level after that, no matter how many things sparkled in the corner of my eyes.
Whispers followed Shem wherever he went. Though I’d been here once before, this visit mattered far more. What happened next could influence the rest of my life. Gossips eyed me and my proximity to Shem, murmuring in each other’s ears.
Pulling my shoulders back, I stood taller, lifting my chin. They wanted to talk about me? Fine. That just meant I was worth mentioning. Maybe I would learn to pull some strings.
I tried to keep my face empty of emotion and hide my shallow breathing.
It was impossible not to feel self-conscious though. I wore a simple white day dress, cut short above the knees to highlight the sandal straps that wrapped around my calves. Everyone else wore their finest evening wear. The women wore luxurious floor-length gowns that sparkled with jewels and other decorative pieces, complimented by the shining, ornamental armor worn by the men.
Intimidating didn’t even begin to describe the feeling.
Though some of the Jinn moved toward us as if to engage in conversation, Shem led us away, down one red-carpeted hallway, and then another, flanked by the guards, even within the castle walls.
“These are my rooms,” he said to me, as we came to a stop before an ornate wooden door, carved with detailed depictions of dragons. His rooms? I didn’t know how to react or what to focus on. The fact that he had multiple rooms? Or that they were his? If it’d been any other Jinni, I’d have assumed ill intentions, but this was Shem. He’d never given me any indication that he thought like that before.
At my frown, he quickly added, “I should clarify, this is the entrance to my council room. I meet here with my personal council.” Ah. Relief flooded me.
“They aren’t all in the castle at the moment,” he continued. “But every member of the royal family has their own personal council. My father, of course, runs the kingdom with his. And my mother prefers to focus on the inner workings of the castle, like her mother before her.”
“I believe I might have heard of the royal councils,” I managed, when he seemed to expect a response. I didn’t know what else to say.
What did this have to do with me? Why would he introduce me to them? He wouldn’t.