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Tristan
Rest! How the hell am I supposed to do that when my heart and mind are all a jumble. Everything is happening so fast, changing, and I don’t know if it will work out or if I could lose my best friend and my future. Can I even do this? Charge into that compound and potentially take a life? What about after? Will the next few hours change me? What pack will I be in after this? Will Rebby want me the way I want her? Or is this all something I have concocted in my head?
I roll over- more like throw myself onto my other side, then onto my back. Staring up at the night sky that is partially obscured by leaves, I sigh. Sleep won’t come and I find myself wishing that I could talk to Dad again. But he died with Theo’s dad in the fire that took Alrin’s wife.
“Can’t sleep?” Theo whispers, rolling over to face me.
“Not a wink. My mind won’t shut up.”
“Yeah, mine either. I wonder what we will find there. Rebby was such a mix of creatures and even seeing the photos, I can’t imagine it. They seem so abstract, like my mind sees it but chalks it up to Photoshop.”
“Same. I am not thinking so much about the people there; remember, they will be in their human forms. I’m more worried about killing someone or maiming them and what that effect will have on me.” I’m quiet for a minute. “I wasn’t trained for this like you. I might know the pack laws, know how things work, but experiencing it and needing to execute them... I’m not sure I am up for it.”
Theo grins, “That is why you are up for it. You won’t take action lightly, you will question yourself and your motivations. What I said earlier, you can’t let them see you questioning yourself. It doesn’t mean you don’t listen or take advice. It means when you speak, you expect to be obeyed.”
We are quiet for a few minutes. The forest is quiet, soothing.
“As to what we find, what we have to do... If we didn’t question our actions and how it would affect us, didn’t weigh the right and wrong of what we were doing, then we would be no better than the men who did this.”
What is it about the dark that makes it okay to let down your guard, let your doubts and feelings out? Of course, Theo knows me as well as I know myself; we’ve used each other for years as sounding boards, though this is a bit more life and death than our normal problems.
“Waiting is killing me!” I sit up. “I’m going for a run.” I make my way carefully through the maze of blankets and men.
“Wait up!” Theo hisses.
“Where are you two going?” One of the Elite is standing guard.
Theo’s wolf pushes to declare dominance as he growls. “You work for us and are here at our request. Don’t forget yourself.”
The man stands his ground for a minute then steps back. “Just be back in plenty of time. Bane won’t wait for you.”
Theo growls as we walk by. “Prick. Where did James find these guys?”
“Don’t know if he will ever tell us, but there is a story there.” I shuck my jeans off. “Wonder what other secrets brother dearest has for you? First the order to mate, then the Elite...”
I can see Theo debating defending his brother or agreeing with me. Finally, he shrugs. “I don’t know. He has his reasons, and after this is over we will have to talk. I hope he realizes that Brittany and me- not happening. EVER.”
“Let’s run for a bit. Maybe we can find somewhere away from all this,” I wave my hand behind us, “and be able to rest. We have two hours ‘til we leave.”
“Maybe it is just too many unfamiliar bodies around making it so we can’t rest.” Theo says. Yeah, we will go with that being the reason.