TWELVE

BREAK TIME

Okay, time to press pause. We’re going to go full Bartlet on you, look you square in the eye, and break the bad news: We will not be covering every single episode of The West Wing in this book. Or even every “iconic” one. Or even every so-called classic moment. There are not nearly enough pages in this book to dig down into all the hopeful-moving-dramatic-funny-romantic-bantery-big-block-of-cheese moments that were served up over seven seasons.

We’re not going to do a deep dive into the fact that C.J.’s too sexy for her shirt, her skirt, or the other things…or that Charlie will always put his body between danger and Zoey when out at a Georgetown bar. We won’t be delving into what gave President Bartlet the poker-faced guts to “shut it down” or how Leo wound up in Cuba, face-to-face with Fidel. We will be unable to accommodate your desire to get more than ankle-deep into Toby’s various crushes on the Andy Wyatts and poets laureate of the world…or why we fell for the gender-neutral-name bait-and-switch—Joey Lucas…Ricky Rafferty—every time. Similarly, we regret that we cannot punch your ticket to the Donna Moss v. Amy Gardner bout or devote more than the scantest of seconds to Sam Seaborn quotes both silly…

Well over three and a half centuries ago, strengthened by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty, a small band of pilgrims sought out a place in the New World, where they could worship according to their own beliefs—and solve crimes.

—SAM SEABORN, “SHIBBOLETH”

…and sublime:

’Cause it’s next! ’Cause we came out of the cave and we looked over the hill and we saw fire. And we crossed the ocean. And we pioneered the West. And we took to the sky. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration, and this is what’s next!

—SAM TO MALLORY, “GALILEO”

You’re not going to find any paragraphs here exploring Josh’s secret plan to fight inflation, Toby’s solution to save Social Security, or Kate Harper’s proposal for peace in the Middle East. (MARY FUN FACT: The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles got on board with that proposal, suggesting real-world politicians embrace its central tenets and referring to it as “the Harper Plan.” Swear to God. I remember where I was—the grocery store, actually—when I saw that cover story. It’s the rare show whose storylines are endorsed as a viable peace plan, and the importance of it was not lost on me. Kudos to John Wells and his staff for writing The West Wing into the leading edge of political discourse. I’m still stunned that it’s possible to write that sentence.)

Finally, if you’re hoping to find within these pages genuinely sophisticated analyses of the nighttime basketball game from season 1 or the daytime hoops from that Camp David summit episode, we’re sorry to say it, but you’re out of luck. On the other hand, we won’t be going into Zoey dating that Jean-Paul guy, so there’s an upside too.

We’re happy for the trees saved by not having written a ten-thousand-page book, and we hope you’ll enjoy the upcoming deep dives into what we consider some stellar “key episodes.” For the record, we’d love to have written more—and who knows, maybe there’s a sequel in our future. After all, a wise man once said, “Every time we think we’ve measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.”

Okay. Break’s over. Let’s unlock our first “key episode”…