Chapter 26

The front door slammed shut with a ferocity that shook the house. The next moment the lounge door was flung open. Nigel, who had been absorbed in a technical manual, looked up to see Fran standing there, her face white and tense, her body shaking with emotion.

‘She’s horrible! Horrible! Horrible! Horrible! And I hate her!’ Fran threw herself down into an armchair and burst into tears.

‘It didn’t go too well then?’

Nigel came over to sit on the arm of his wife’s chair, and took her hand.

‘Poor darling,’ he said gently. ‘Want to tell me about it?’

‘No. I don’t want to talk about it – not now. Not ever! I don’t even want to think about it. She told me to get out – so I did. Oh, Nigel! I’ve made the most dreadful mistake.’

The weeping was gaining momentum. Nigel was silent.

Then Fran suddenly stood up.

‘I’m going out for a walk,’ she said. ‘Don’t come. I want to be by myself. Please just leave me alone.’

She was gone for two hours. Nigel waited patiently, worrying, but knowing it would do no good to try and find her. Eventually Fran returned.

‘I want to say two things,’ she announced. ‘First, I’m very sorry I was bad-tempered with you, Nigel. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. Secondly, I made a bad mistake in trying to make contact and that’s all there is to it.’

‘How about dining out?’ suggested Nigel.

‘No, sorry, Thanks, but I’m not hungry and I’m not in the mood.’

‘Not even for a special meal at Luigi’s?’

Fran hesitated. Luigi’s was their favourite restaurant. Perhaps a relaxing evening there would help to take her mind off things.

‘We wouldn’t get a table at this short notice, would we?’

‘We already have a table. I’ve booked it. You have half an hour to wash and brush up, so get started. Senor Luigi awaits us.’

Fran smiled. ‘You’re so good to me. What would I do without you?’

‘Go and get ready,’ he said.

They had reached the coffee stage before anything relevant to the issue was mentioned. The candle flame flickered over the bright red checked tablecloth. They had enjoyed a delectable meal and Fran had drunk two glasses of excellent wine. Finally Nigel raised the topic.

‘So what are you going to do now?’

‘Forget the whole thing.’

‘What’s happened to Fran the Fighter – that persistent woman who never gives up?’

‘She’s disappeared off the scene. In her place you see Fran the Fool – the complete idiot who’s been living a dream. Well, reality has now dawned with blinding force. I know you had reservations about my going in search of my natural mother – and you’ve been proved right.’

‘If I had reservations it was only because I was afraid you might not get the reception you hoped for. I didn’t want you to get hurt.’

‘Well, as you saw, I did get hurt, dreadfully.’ Fran’s eyes became moist. Nigel put his large hand across the table and grasped Fran’s in his.

‘Let’s look at it from Claudia’s point of view. She gave up her baby almost forty years ago – we don’t know why, nor do we know what that did to her. I’m not a woman, as you well know, so I can’t put myself in her place, but I imagine that’s a pretty traumatic experience for any mother.’

‘I’m sure it is – so you’d think she might be pleased that I came to find her. But she clearly couldn’t bear to see me. She didn’t want to have anything to do with me.’

‘Think of the shock it must have been for her to have you turn up, out of the blue, on her doorstep. You’d been planning this moment for years. You’d been lying awake at night thinking about it. She knew nothing of the way you’d been building your hopes up for this meeting. Just suddenly, one day, there you were – the baby she never watched grow up.’

‘Perhaps I should have warned her. It was silly, I know, but I believed, when we met, that there’d be something there – right from the start. I thought … I thought when she opened the door, I’d recognise her! Doesn’t that sound stupid!’

Nigel squeezed her hand.

‘Not stupid, my darling. Just optimistic, perhaps idealistic. That’s what I love about you – always believing everything will turn out well in the end. Always concentrating on the positive. Never accepting defeat.’

‘I know what you’re saying. I should have another try.’

‘That’s up to you.’

‘Perhaps, if she’s had time to get over the shock, it might be better next time.’

‘Who knows?’

‘Do you know what I love about you? You never try to stop me doing anything, even if you think it might be unwise. You’re so supportive, no matter what foolish course of action I decide on.’

‘So what have you decided?’

‘I’ll have another go. I’m not going to give up yet.’

‘That’s my girl,’ said Nigel.