Chapter 3

The library was an oasis of calm. Browsing among the shelves of books never failed to lift Claudia’s spirits, particularly the reference section. Ancient Greece was, for her, an endless source of fascination. Given the time, she could spend hours studying illustrations of the art of the period. She revelled in the quietness that surrounded her. There was something soothing about rows of bound volumes sitting there patiently in readiness for their moment of glory – like flower buds waiting for their time to blossom.

Once again the previous night had been restless. Thoughts held at bay during the years when she had immersed herself in her work now seemed impossible to stifle. Images had flooded through her brain triggered by innocent words from the young woman who had come to her rescue the previous day. She grimaced at the thought of how she had fallen smack down on that dirty pavement. Her raincoat would have to go to the cleaners and she had collected a number of cuts and bruises on her hands and legs. The incident had left her feeling embarrassed and stupid, but fortunately there was no great damage.

The hurt had come from some of the things Paula, in all innocence, had said. For a start there had been the name Maria to reawaken echoes from the past. And fancy the woman asking her to tea! Claudia knew that, if she went, she would be expected to drool over the new arrival while the mother stood there beaming with pride. This was a role she had often fulfilled at school when a parent had shown a new baby to the headteacher for her to admire. She had always done her best, knowing that before her there was potentially another pupil to attend her school in five years’ time. But sometimes it had been hard work when the occupants of the prams had looked a little odd, as newborn babies can, almost subhuman, Claudia thought.

On the other hand, some of the new babies were startlingly beautiful and she could be mesmerised by the sight of an enchanting little girl. That was when the pain went deep. Last night she had finally fallen into a troubled sleep which brought no relief, her dreams full of images of a tiny baby whose little fingers gripped her mother’s hand. Then someone came and cruelly prised those tiny fingers away.

Day time was much better. Then thoughts could be concentrated on objective topics of interest rather than the introspective, bitter emotions that had plagued her over the last two nights. In the lending section Claudia discovered a book on classical architecture that she hadn’t seen before. She took it over to the counter for scanning. The librarian smiled at her.

‘That looks interesting,’ she remarked. ‘I’d love to have time to devote to reading something like that. What with working and running round after my family ….’

‘I’ve just retired,’ Claudia replied, ‘so now I can start on some major projects. Things I’ve been wanting to do but I’ve been too busy.’

‘Lucky you! I’ve got another twenty years to wait! It can’t come soon enough for me.’ The librarian hesitated. ‘By the way, had you thought of joining the Fine Arts Society? I could give you a leaflet. I hear they have some very interesting talks.’

‘Thank you, I’ll bear that in mind. But what I’m really interested in ….’ She trailed off, as the librarian was distracted by some girls who had come in chattering loudly.

‘Excuse me … I’ll have to go and have a word. They don’t seem to realise ….’

Picking up her book, Claudia made her way home. Socrates was waiting for her return, and so, on the doormat, was a letter. Claudia picked it up and examined the envelope. She wasn’t expecting any post and rarely received personal mail. There were no clues as to the identity of the sender.

A letter opener lay on the hall table ready for use as Claudia hated envelopes that had been roughly torn and left with jagged edges. This one was a business letter bearing the name of some sort of agency by the name of Seekers. The name meant nothing to her. Claudia read the letter with mounting bewilderment.

It seemed that a third party wished to contact a certain Miss Claudia Hansom, on behalf of a relative with whom there had been no communication for many years. The agency, wishing to ensure that the correspondence had been sent to the right person, asked Claudia to confirm some personal details, including her occupation and the first names of her parents.

What could this mean? Surely it could only have come from one source … who else but Maria? Or rather, from someone on behalf of Maria, for there were no other relatives. Claudia sat down and read the letter over several times, trying to understand what lay behind it. So had Maria died? Perhaps there was a will, and she had mentioned Claudia. Well, Claudia had no wish to inherit any kind of legacy from her sister, although, if there were a sum of money, she might as well have it and pass it on to a cats’ home.

All the same there was an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach at the thought that her sister had died. To feel such a pang was hardly logical since, in reality, Maria had been dead to her for almost forty years. The rift that had resulted from the events of that time had never been healed. Claudia always refused to allow her mind to return to memories that were still capable of distressing her. Her first reaction was to crumple the letter up and throw it in the bin. But on second thoughts, might it be better to provide the details that had been requested, so that she could at least find out what it was all about?

Before she could change her mind she grabbed a sheet of paper, wrote a quick response to the letter, giving as briefly as possible the facts required, and sealed the envelope.

With a sigh she sat down, her mind whirling. So much for her cherished belief that all those incidents were dead and buried beyond reach! It was impossible now to prevent the memories from returning. Unable to fight any longer, Claudia lay back in her chair and let the past live again.