Chapter 34

Maria was surprised to find that they stayed over four weeks in Milan – far longer than she had anticipated. At first she felt ill at ease. It was disturbing to be surrounded by so many people, all trying to be kind to her, but with whom communication was impossible. For some reason they thought that if they shouted, or said things several times over, she would grasp what they were saying – but, of course, she couldn’t. Stefano tried to teach her some basic words and phrases, such as si, no, (at least that was easy), grazie, buon giorno and quanto costa? – which was all very well but as she couldn’t understand what was said to her, she didn’t know what the right replies were.

Gradually she got used to the atmosphere, realising they were all doing their best to be friendly. They kept greeting her enthusiastically, and hugging her at the least excuse – especially Gino and the boys – so that after a little while she began to feel slightly more comfortable. The house was full of life, with people milling round all the time, and voices that never seemed to stop calling out and laughing. Everyone smiled frequently, at least in her presence, but behind the scenes she sometimes overheard verbal spats – usually involving Stefano and his mother, or one of the boys. Once, it was Gino’s turn. As head of the household he never lost an opportunity to embrace her, to make her feel welcome, and he was holding her rather tightly when Giulia had walked in. Maria appreciated his friendly overtures, but possibly Giulia did not, as raised voices could be heard for some time afterwards.

Since the rest of the family were going overboard to please her, it was rather marked that the one person who rarely smiled or took any more notice of her than necessary, was Rosa. The poor girl looked white and strained, kept mostly in the background, and showed no particular interest in Maria. But once or twice, when Maria came upon Rosa unexpectedly, she noticed that when she was playing with little Carlo her face was wreathed in smiles.

It was strange the way they seemed to think she would delight in spending time looking after the baby. Rosa had obviously been instructed to bring him frequently for her to see and admire. Maria, who had had no practice in clucking over babies, didn’t know how to start. Anyhow, why should she? He was nothing to her, and soon she would be leaving him behind, so why get excited about him?

At first Stefano took Maria out with him when he went on his business trips. She enjoyed this, as they would travel through attractive countryside, her new husband being an attentive and charming escort. Although she had to wait while he made his visits, he would treat her to lunch in some delightful bistro, keeping her amused with stories about his childhood, or describing aspects of his family life. Sometimes he would become more serious and talk a little of the life they would have back in England. He planned to settle in the Wimbledon area, since travel would be easy from there to various places that he would need to visit. He would find a fine house to rent – somewhere she would enjoy living – and they would set up a real family home for themselves. Soon, he said, he hoped they would fill it with a family of their own.

Maria smiled, saying nothing. She had kept a secret from Stefano. As soon as she knew she was going to be married she had visited her doctor and started to take a contraceptive pill. Knowing Stefano to have a Catholic background, she was well aware he might disapprove – but at eighteen years of age, what did she know about looking after children? The last thing in the world she wanted was to be saddled with a baby while she was so young – plenty of time for that in the future. The present was the time to have lots of fun with her new husband, and not get tied down with responsibilities. Young as she was, she instinctively knew this information was better kept to herself, and she was always careful to keep the pills hidden.

Once when they were having lunch together she said, ‘Stefano, tell me about Rosa. How long has she been with the family? And why does she look pale and miserable all the time?’

‘Oh, now, bella, don’t you concern your head about her. She’s only the kitchen maid!’

He had laughed, and quickly turned the subject to a different topic.

At the beginning Maria had three full days out on the road with Stefano, but on the fourth she was brought back home at the end of the morning, as apparently the afternoon’s visit would not have been of any interest. After that she found she was sometimes left at home in the morning, possibly being picked up at lunch time. On these occasions Giulia would suggest she might like to fill in the time by taking Carlo in his pushchair for a walk in the park. Rosa came with her, initially, to show her where to go, but once she knew the route she was encouraged to take him out by herself. Fortunately, for the most part, he was a placid baby, but the third time she took him out he suddenly started to scream. Alarmed, Maria turned round and ran all the way back.

‘Rosa!’ she called, the minute she got into the house, ‘take Carlo, please! He’s making a terrible noise and I can’t stop him!’

Rosa might not have understood the words but she knew what to do, picking the screaming baby up and clasping him in her arms. Immediately the noise subsided.

Sometimes Maria would be taken to the dress shops with some of the girls, who would draw her attention to items of clothing they thought would suit her. Such forays into the world of Italian fashions were far more to her taste than taking Carlo out, and Maria would get excited by the beautiful designs held up for her to admire. If she looked doubtful, the sisters would immediately put it back and find a replacement, chattering away among themselves as they did so. Stefano had generously given her a sizeable sum of money, so she was able to buy if something appealed to her, and many of the clothes did. Her sound dress sense told her that they were good quality and she always knew if something was right for her. She began to wonder whether her suitcase would contain all these purchases.

Most of all she liked going out with the youngest girl, Carmela. These occasions were quieter and rather enjoyable as the young girl loved trying out a few English words, and teaching Maria some Italian ones. Finding they had a wavelength where they were comfortable in each other’s presence, Maria was not daunted by her and could relax.

She missed her father and Claudia more as each day went by. She frequently wrote long letters to each of them, and eagerly watched for the postman to come – but there were never any letters for her. Finally she asked if she might be allowed to telephone. Gino showed her how to put a call through to England and having dialled her father’s number she waited with bated breath. As the telephone began to ring she pictured Claudia, or her father, hurrying into the hall to pick it up. But although she held on for a long time no one answered, that evening or any other evening. It was puzzling and rather worrying.

Maria found she was spending more and more time with Carlo. Gradually she got over her apprehension and became a little more used to him. His tiny hands and feet were adorable, and if he had been a girl she would have loved dressing him in beautiful baby clothes. As she became more used to him she was encouraged to take part in his activities. She learned how to give him a bottle, and help with his bath. She supposed they were trying to prepare her for when she produced her own child, but she wanted to say that at the moment she really would have preferred not be so involved with him. She did not like the assumption that she would be embarking on having babies to look after so soon after the marriage. Somehow everyone seemed to expect it of her, and she did not know how to express her objections. Stefano was no help – he just said she made such a good little mother, so why not?

She began to ask when they would be leaving. Stefano said he thought they would be ready very soon, perhaps the following week. After a few more days he said he had arranged flights for the next day. Maria was delighted, seeing no reason to hide her feelings. After all, they must realise that by now she was getting homesick.

That evening she went to the kitchen for a drink and saw the maid, Rosa, sitting at the table with her head in her hands, weeping copiously.