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Chapter 23

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Esther

“So what are you suggesting we do, Rachel?” Pastor asked.

“I suggest we slow down, take a step back, and think about each of these things before we do them.”

“Each of what things?”

“Each of these changes we’re making in the church. Doing away with expired food. Firing our organ player. Whipping up bylaws.”

“What does any of this have to do with the organist?” Finally, Joe’s feathers appeared to be ruffled.

Rachel did not look at him. She continued to look at her pastor.

But it was Walter who spoke up. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to tackle all these issues in a single meeting, so let’s pick one to focus on, and it seems to me the most pressing issue, in fact, the one that we were called here to discuss, is the bylaws. We do, in fact, need the bylaws. So, Rachel, I repeat Pastor’s question. What would you like us to do about the bylaws? Doing away with them or not having them is not an option. Are you saying you would like to help write them?”

Before she could answer, Joe said, “That’s ridiculous. They’re practically done.”

“I don’t want to help write them,” Rachel said. “I don’t think they should exist.”

“You’ve made that point clear,” Walter said, not unkindly. “And we’re telling you that they do need to exist. I’m sorry about that, but that’s just the way the world works, and this church has to exist within the world. So if you don’t want to help write them, is there any particular point within them, other than the membership, which is also necessary, that you would like to discuss?”

Rachel looked at Cathy. “I think that Cathy should help write them.”

Cathy looked as startled by this as Esther felt.

Rachel returned her eyes to Pastor. “She is the smartest one among us. She knows the Word better than anyone I know. I can’t imagine why you started without her, but I don’t think you should finish without her.”

“Sure,” Pastor said. “Why didn’t you just say so? That’s easy. Cathy, would you like to sit in with us as we finish these up?”

Why did Cathy look so uncomfortable? “Sure, if that’s what people want.”

“Again, this isn’t necessary,” Joe said. “They’re just about done.”

“Then it won’t take any time at all for Cathy to review them,” Rachel said.

“I have thought about this a lot and given it a lot of prayer,” Cathy said. “I’ve been asking for God to show me a way to help there to be harmony, and I think this might be it. I think I’m supposed to do this. I can be objective. I am not as shaken by some of these changes as Rachel is.”

Esther looked at Rachel quickly, and sure enough her eyes had narrowed.

Cathy seemed to realize she’d offended Rachel. “But Rachel, I promise I will try to make these bylaws as close to our original vision as they can be. I still believe in that vision, and I think we can carry it into the next chapter of this church.”

Pastor looked at Rachel. “Does that satisfy you?”

Rachel looked around the circle with her mouth open. “Why are you asking me? I’m not the only one with concerns. Just because I’m the only one with the intestinal fortitude to speak up.”

Esther took offense, but it was true. She hadn’t said a word.

“Hey!” Barbara said. “I’m never afraid to speak up about my concerns. You just haven’t given me a chance!”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, please, let’s get more women involved in church leadership.”

It seemed that time slowed down as every head turned to look at Joe. Esther couldn’t quite believe he had just said that out loud, and she thought most people thought the same, though Rachel didn’t look surprised at all. Rachel’s face said something more like, “See? I told you so.”

Walter broke the silence. “We’re not asking them to participate in leadership. We’re asking Cathy, one of the founders of this church, to help us with the bylaws.”

Joe would not meet his eyes but he nodded. “I have things to do. Are we done here?”

“Actually, let’s pray before we leave,” Pastor said.

“Actually,” Barbara said, “while we’re here, I think we should discuss the music issue. I don’t even care much that you fired Fiona. I’m far more concerned that we brought in a bunch of Satan music to replace her.”

Joe rocked forward in his chair. His feet hit the floor, his back straightened, and his face grew red. “Excuse me?” He looked at Pastor. “This is why I told you this meeting was a bad idea!” He stood up. “What a waste of time.” He started toward the door.

“Is this how an elder behaves?” Rachel asked.

Without turning back, Joe said, “When a bunch of crazy old bats try to waste my time, yes.” And then he was out the door.

For a moment it was quiet. Again Walter broke the silence. “Barbara, what on earth are you thinking?”

Barbara turned her fiery glare on Walter. “What was I thinking? I think I made it pretty clear what I was thinking!”

“Yes, but we had just come to an amicable agreement. We were all going to go home satisfied we had accomplished something and then you had to go and say something crazy.”

She gasped.

“You just insulted that man’s family!” Walter said. “Those are his children, and they’re serving God by playing those instruments. And you just accused them of being Satanists.” His voice got louder and his face redder as he spoke. Esther put a hand on his arm to try to calm him down, but he didn’t seem to feel her touch.

Barbara didn’t seem particularly convicted by his rebuke. “So now both elders have called me crazy?” She stood up and looked at her pastor. “If that is how things are going to be around here, then this is no longer my church.”

Esther was saddened to see that Pastor didn’t look particularly alarmed by this threat.

Barbara left, and they let her. Esther thought someone should go after her to comfort her, encourage her, try to calm her down, but she couldn’t make her feet move.

Rachel was staring at the pastor. “Are you really suggesting that we’re going to keep an elder who publicly calls us all crazy old bats?” Her voice was calm, even, pragmatic.

Pastor didn’t answer her, but Walter did. “Do you ladies have any idea how valuable that man and his leadership are to this church? He’s not the one causing conflict.” He looked around the circle. “You all are. Because you are unwilling to change. You’re unwilling to grow. He’s trying to do good things here. You should let him.”

Esther removed her hand from Walter’s arm. Suddenly she didn’t want to be touching him. She didn’t even want to be sitting next to him. Her eyes slid to the floor and then up at Pastor, expecting him to say or do something.

He looked completely deflated. “I think we should pray. Then I think we should all go home and pray some more.” He closed his eyes, leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and bowed his head. “Father, we need a father now. We need your guidance and your wisdom. Please give each of us the mind of Christ and help us to separate his mind ...”

Somebody’s chair made a scraping sound, and Esther looked up to see Rachel headed toward the door. But it wasn’t her chair she’d heard. It was Dawn’s, who was following her. And Vicky was putting on her coat. Esther’s eyes met and locked with Cathy’s. They’d started with seven. One of them was so old and frail she couldn’t even come out for the meeting. Four of them were walking out of the meeting. Only two of them were left. And Esther didn’t know where Cathy stood on any of this.